Chapter 29
Twenty - Nine
Shaye
Though I protest, Thrane and Ronan insist on escorting me back to the Harland House after dinner. The rest of the meal was explosive with no resolution and all the Hydran queen did was stare daggers at me.
We pull up to the rowhouse, and I climb to the door, dodging Ronan and Thrane's boots. Thrane grabs my wrist. "Tell Atlas everything or I will."
"Why do you think I won't tell him?" I furrow my brow.
"Because you're afraid Atlas will do something rash to protect you," he says simply and I despise my thoughts are so easy to decipher.
"I'm coming inside with you," Ronan informs me, sliding past me to help me out of the buggy.
"You don't have to do that, you know." Irritation spreads across my cheeks.
"I will see you tomorrow morning for training," Thrane calls out after us and then taps the ceiling of the carriage. It takes off down the street.
Ronan unlocks the front door and holds it open for me to glide inside. I can't wait to get out of this dress. It's beautiful and sparkles like the stars in the night sky, but I've gotten accustomed to wearing pants and being comfortable.
Despite the late hour, everyone is still awake and scattered around the living room. Have they've been waiting for me to come home?
Eris and Finn are snuggled together in one of the large armchairs.
Finn's arm draped around Eris' waist, holding her close to him makes me smile.
My entrance has interrupted Nyx's pacing and Atlas rises from the chair nearest the roaring fire and makes his way to me.
Although, Nyx beats him to me and wraps me in his arms for a big, warm hug.
"It's about time, Kitarni," Nyx's familiar greeting swells in my chest. "Well," he pulls back and scratches his head. "Maybe I should start calling you Aurelia. It might get confusing."
"Not to me," I grin up at him. "It's a nickname. And I like nicknames."
"I'm glad you're back in one piece," Atlas' voice pulls me to him like a magnet. "Seems the leaders didn't get the better of you."
I toss a look over my shoulder at Ronan. He closes the door with a scowl.
"For now," Ronan growls.
"What?" Atlas asks, a seriousness washing over him. "What happened?"
I press my palm to his chest to calm him. For a split second, I consider omitting the part of Astrea Talay wanting me to be offered up like some sacrificial lamb, but then I remember if I don't Ronan and Thrane will. That would be far worse for him to find out from one of them.
"Dinner did not go well," I admit. "In fact, some of the leaders think the only way to stop a war before it begins is to…" This is harder to say than I expected.
"Is to what?" Atlas tips my chin upward.
"Bastian needs my blood to open the portal. If I'm no longer alive then – "
Absolute wrong thing to say. Fire rages in Atlas' eyes. "Who suggested that?"
I swallow hard. "Astrea Talay."
Eris leaps to her feet. "She wants the leaders to agree to kill you? What the fuck?"
"Did anyone else agree with her idea?" Nyx folds his arms across chest, ready to go to battle for me if I so much as ask.
"No," Ronan interjects. "When she double downed on her idea, the entire room erupted."
"Well." That's not the entire truth. "The entire room didn't erupt over the idea of me being murdered."
Ronan huffs, rolling his eyes. "Fine. Everything went to shit when I told Astrea Talay her suggestion was the worst fucking idea I'd ever heard."
Eris' mouth drops. "You said that? To her face?"
"Yeah," he growls. "And I'd do it again. No offense, Eris, but your mother is a bitch."
"No offense taken." She slips her arm around Finn's when he joins our family circle in the foyer.
"Thrane told me even if I died, it wouldn't stop Bastian and Vesper from figuring out a new way to open the portal," I explain.
"They could kidnap a Dwarf engineer or Professor Riggs with his knowledge to craft a new one.
" Even though I don't really believe it, I say, "I'm not the only solution to their problem. I'm the most convenient."
"You didn't consider going along with this insane plan, did you?" Atlas' question sets my skin on fire. How can I look him in the eye and tell him the truth? I suppose that's part of being in a relationship. Honesty. Even if it hurts.
"I considered it."
My friends chime in all at once with their protests and I'm not sure who to address first.
"Stop!" I yell and silence the room. "I don't want to die, but I would be selfish if I didn't consider all our options."
"You dying is not on the table," Atlas growls, balling his hands into fists at his side.
I slide my hand up his cheek. "I am no longer safe."
"To be fair," Nyx reclines against the wall, "you weren't safe before tonight."
"Now, I'm no longer safe amongst our allies," I clarify, repeating Thrane's words. "I'll need to keep my wits about me. And I will need you all to watch my back."
"Someone will be with you at all times," Ronan decrees, very much sounding like a king commanding his troops. "We won't give anyone a chance to do something stupid. Understood?"
Everyone nods in agreement, no argument from them. I swipe a tear threatening to slide down my cheek. This. This is my family and I'm grateful they're willing to do whatever it takes to keep me safe. I know if and when it comes down to it, I will do the same for them.
"Well, I don't know about any of you," I shrug off my jacket and hang it on the coat rack, "I am exhausted." My eyes flick to Atlas. "Help me out of this dress?"
His face softens. I have successfully calmed the beast. He scoops my hand in his and tugs me toward the stairs. "Gladly."
"I think I'm ready for bed too, Finn," Eris rests her head on Finn's shoulder and he doesn't need to be told twice.
"Goodnight, boys," Finn follows us toward the staircase.
"Is everyone a couple now?" Nyx barks a laugh.
"You jealous?" Eris bounces her brows playfully.
"Yes," Nyx teases, "who is going to cuddle me all night long?"
"Ronan?" Finn suggests, biting into a cookie he swipes from the dining room table with a crooked grin.
Nyx points at him. "Maybe I should cuddle you, Finnigan."
"I am an excellent cuddler." Finn agrees without missing a beat and it draws a snicker from me.
"It's no fun if you play along," Nyx groans, tossing an arm around Ronan's shoulders. "You staying here tonight?"
Ronan shrugs him off, "Not tonight. I told Viella I would stop by her place after dinner."
Eris and I smile at each other.
"Oh, stop looking at me like that," Ronan catches our exchange. "I'm lucky she didn't slap me when I asked her to marry me on our first date."
"So," Nyx drawls. "Everyone really is coupling up."
There's a sadness in his voice that breaks my heart.
Eris releases Finn's arm to squeeze Nyx's. "You'll find someone to settle down with too. It takes time."
As quick as the sadness flares in his face, it's replaced by Nyx's I'm-fine-don't-worry-about-me mask. "Me? Settle down? Not likely. I'm not sure a woman exists that can change my mind."
Eris wags a motherly finger at him. "And that right there, is the kiss of death. She exists. You haven't found her yet."
"You sound so certain." He shakes his head with a laugh. "Love has changed you, Eris Talay. Apparently, you can see into the future."
Eris huffs, a frown marring her face. "I bet she'll be more stubborn than you."
"Now you're just being ridiculous," he huffs in return. "There's no one more stubborn than Nyx Harland."
"We'll see." She winks at him, reclaiming Finn's arm. "Goodnight, Nyx. Goodnight, Ronan."
Atlas gently tugs my hand, drawing my gaze from Nyx. "Ready?"
I nod and follow up upstairs to our bedroom.
Once the door is closed, I expect his hands to be all over me.
He loves when I wear dresses. But when I turn my back to him for him to help me out, the aid doesn't come.
I furrow my brow and look over my shoulder at him.
He's still by the door, his hands clasped behind him.
"What's wrong?"
"If Ronan wasn't here, would you have told me about Astrea Talay?"
Sometimes I'm convinced he can read my thoughts but has kept that magic a secret from everyone.
"I don't have the energy for an argument tonight, Atlas."
"Then don't argue with me. Don't dodge my questions." He steps forward. "Have a conversation with me, even if it's uncomfortable."
Bottling up my emotions and keeping my thoughts to myself have been the pillars of my upbringing. I understand how unhealthy that is but I'm afraid if I share everything with Atlas, one day he'll realize I'm too much for him to handle and he'll leave.
"You promised you wouldn't run anymore," he says gently, coaxing me to open up. "I'm not going anywhere, Shaye. I'm here. I love you."
"But?" I sense it on his lips. Might as well get the painful part over with.
"But," he picks up, "I can't help you or properly protect you if I'm working with an incomplete puzzle. Talk to me, Strenlys."
I swallow hard, stifling the anxiety bubbling in my chest. "I'm not sure if I would have told you about Astrea Talay or not. Not because I don't trust you, but because part of me believes she has a valid point."
"Valid or not, it's ridiculous." His hands find purchase on my hips. "You are the key to winning this war, not preventing it. Whether through your blood or another means, the demons will find a way to open the portal and release their master. That is their sole purpose."
"Atlas –"
"We have a life after this war to live, Shaye.
A life that propels me to keep going when things get tough.
" He cups my face, his eyes intense and pleading.
"I need you. In every sense of the word, I need you.
So, don't carry the guilt Astrea Talay has unfairly thrown at your feet.
There's a future beyond the war. Cling to it, like I do. "
I smile up at him, tears now streaming down my face. "You think of our future together?"
Atlas' smile melts me. "I do."
"And what do you see in our future?"
"I see a house in the Old Kingdom because you love how quiet and charming it is.
And we'll have to hire a cook or bribe Finn to cook meals for us because neither of us has a hope in the kitchen," he paints a picture, and I can't help but chuckle.
"And maybe, if you're willing, we can have a daughter who looks exactly like you. "
"A daughter? Not a son?" I quirk a brow, knowing especially in Midori, sons are desired more than daughters.
"I'll have an army of daughters if you will allow it," he doesn't hesitate.
"I would hope one of them acts like you," I play into this dream as if I had created it myself. "So, I can fall in love with you all over again."
Atlas thumbs the tears from my face. "Whatever we face, we will face it together. Including Astrea Talay."
I nod, my bottom lip quivering.
"Promise me you will chase that dream with me," he presses his forehead to mine. "Promise me you will fight for us."
I know, even in this beautiful moment, I can't promise I won't die. No one can do that. But I can promise to fight. I can promise to chase the dream. And that's probably all the comfort and reassurance he really needs to keep pressing forward in spite of the storm headed our direction. "I promise."
"Good." He kisses me and his hands snake around to the back of my dress and unzips. "I'm picturing something happening tonight. Care to guess what that might be?"
My dress slides down my frame, pooling at my feet. "I would rather you show me." I breathe him in, wrapping my ankle around the back of his leg.
"Your wish is my command." Atlas picks me up and drops me on our bed.