Chapter 35
Thirty - Five
Eris
Watching the smoke waft from the safety of Starnborough is a torture of its own making.
My mind is jumping to each and every worst-case scenario.
I should be out there with my friends. The only reason I'm not is because my mother is in town.
If she sees me or my magic displayed, I'm as good as dead. But hell. My family needs me.
A whimper sounds behind me. Ronan's sister.
Petra swipes a rogue tear from her cheek.
Her eyes shift, in hopes no one heard her cry.
When she meets my gaze across the room, she tenses.
She's sixteen. She's never seen the true cruelty of this world.
If I were in her shoes, I'd be an emotional wreck.
She's probably holding it together for Viggo, her younger brother.
He hasn't spoken a word since the explosions.
His parents have tried comforting him, but nothing they say or do helps.
Queen Esme's energy is completely spent.
Her attending the wedding in itself was a miracle but having to rush her to the castle and trying to console her frightened children, has her pale.
Rafe orders soldiers to get her something to eat so she doesn't pass out, but I know it's not hunger.
Her sickness is spreading. By the look of her, she doesn't have much time left.
My eyes water at the thought of the sweet queen not being around this time next year. She deserves better.
Viella's pacing draws my gaze. She's still in her wedding gown, biting her short nails.
Though her eyes are open, they're distant, as if seeing into the future.
I've urged her to sit three times but she only jumps back to her feet within minutes.
It's annoying, for sure, but it's how she's coping so I let her pace.
After all, her new husband is out there fighting, and we have no way to know what's going on until it's over.
Rafe joins me at the window overlooking the destruction and pats my back. "How are you holding up?"
"Could be better." I shrug. "Could be worse."
"They're all going to be fine," he says, maybe more so for himself than for me. "Maybe some scratches and bruises, but nothing they can't handle."
I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I'm sure you're right." I offer him the only smile I can muster.
"I haven't been able to talk to you one-on-one, but seeing as we're stuck on royal protection duty," he trails off sheepishly, as if asking permission to speak to me.
"Please," I motion for him to continue. "Speak freely."
He smiles and it reminds me so much of Finn. Their hazel eyes crinkle in the same place.
"Well, Finn told us how he felt about you and we encouraged him to tell you.
Seeing you with him today… I haven't seen my son that happy before.
Well, not in his adult years. Finn would light up about almost anything.
" His eyes gloss over, firmly rooted in his memories now.
"Anything from a honeybee to a beautiful flower, to helping me in the kitchen.
He was so happy to be included. He always had a curious mind, and I knew he would discover and create amazing, wonderous things.
" A sadness overtakes his warm features.
"He's struggled with his feelings about himself since he discovered his affinity.
Everyone outside the family treated him differently.
They were frightened of him, kept their distance.
But you. You didn't bat an eye. You accepted him as he is and I think that made all the difference. "
"What do you mean, made all the difference?"
"Soraya and I were concerned. If he wasn't with his brothers, we would have fought for him to stay in our family house."
"To watch over him?" My eyes widen. "You didn't think he would hurt someone – "
"We were concerned he would hurt himself.
" His response sucks the breath from my lungs.
"We saw him struggling, saw him drowning, and we did everything in our power to help him.
To love him. To accept him. But sometimes a parent's unconditional love and unyielding acceptance isn't enough for a child to see themselves in the same light. "
Tears stream down my cheeks. "Your son is the most amazing person I've ever met. He saved me when no one else would so much as glance in my direction. No one believed me. He didn't hesitate to help. That says something about your parenting, I think."
"We've always made sure our boys have a healthy understanding of lending a hand to those in need.
Whether it benefits you or not, if you are in a position to help.
Help." Rafe rolls his shoulders back, staring out the window to the chaos below.
"I'm glad you were there for one another.
Your love made all the difference." He tentatively drapes an arm across my shoulders.
"And one day, I will be blessed to call you my daughter. Thank you for loving my son, Eris."
My chest swells and my bottom lip quivers when I whisper, "Loving him is easy."
Rafe's eyes suddenly harden and I'm taken aback. He lifts my hand. Patches of my brown skin and white tattoos poke through my disguise.
"Oh, no," I say softly, touching my face. I rush to the mirror and my heart stops. The dissimulo is fading. I was supposed to take another dose about an hour ago. But with everything going on, and Finn not here to administer it, it slipped my mind.
"Do you have another vial anywhere?" Rafe asks, urgency in his voice.
I shake my head. "No. Finn must have it with him."
We're safe in here. Even if my true identity is exposed, everyone in this room already knows who I am. My mother and her entourage will never know. But there's always a chance and because of the small percentage, I have to do something.
"There's an apothecary room in the castle, right?" I ask, drawing King Soren's attention.
He bobs his head. "Near the kitchen. I can have my soldiers get whatever you need."
"It'll take an untrained eye too long to find the ingredients," I exhale, knowing I'll have to risk exposure to fix the tonic myself. I've seen Finn do it dozens of times. I can do it. "I'll go. I'll be back as soon as I can."
Rafe grabs my wrist. "I'll go with you."
"No, you have to stay with the royal family." I pat his hand reassuringly. "I remember how to get to the kitchen. I'll grab what I need and come back."
"I don't like this," King Soren rises and makes his way to me. "Until we know it's safe to leave this room, I want us to stay put."
"Send one of the soldiers with me," I protest. "If my mother did have anything to do with this attack, then she will stop at nothing to find me. Even if that means breaking down the door to your own castle to get me back. I have to protect you. All of you."
King Soren and Rafe exchange a heavy look. The queen coughs, heavy and thick. She pulls her handkerchief from her lips and it's covered in blood.
"I can get her some medicine to help with the pain," I insist. Now we both need me to get to the apothecary. "I will be quick. I promise."
The king places strong hands on his wife's hunched shoulders and reluctantly nods at me. "Any sign of trouble, you abandon your quest. Do you understand?"
"I understand." I take one last look in the mirror. I don't have much longer before I completely transform. I'll need to be quick.
Without further discussion, and although Rafe looks like he wants to argue more he keeps his mouth shut, and I slip out the door.
Two guards are stationed there so I know despite my brief absence, if something bad were to happen, they would be the first line of defense.
And if for some reason someone did get by them, Rafe Harland would be the last face the intruders ever saw.
The kitchen is on the main level, so I speedily descend the stairs. I keep my head on a swivel as I make my way through the castle. It's quiet, most of the soldiers investigating the explosions and aiding injured Tronovians. A lot would have to go wrong if our enemies made it to Starnborough.
I purge all negative thoughts from my brain and spear through the back hallway, easily finding the kitchen.
The king said the apothecary was near the kitchen, so I start opening doors in this corridor until I find the one I'm looking for.
In complete contrast to Finn's shop, this doesn't have a cozy atmosphere, although it was built during the Old Kingdom era.
Wooden beams, stone hearth, musty shelves with glass jars and vials.
Up to my elbows, my skin is back to its normal hue. I need to hurry. I know I promised to gather the ingredients and mix it upstairs, but I'll be completely exposed by the time I make my trek back. I'll have no choice but to mix it –
The door I had left open suddenly slams behind me. I whip around and come face-to-face with my mother.
"Hello, Freya," she purrs, victorious. "Or should I call you, Eris?
" She snaps her fingers and four guards reveal themselves from behind shelves and pop out of closets.
They point their spears at me forcing me to stay put.
My mother eyes me with a palpable hatred it makes my heart skip a beat.
"I don't know what's more embarrassing," she hisses, taking a step toward me, "you believing you could outwit me, or you thinking I would not recognize you.
Did you really think I would not smell your magic? Foolish girl."
I tilt my chin higher. There's no need to pretend anymore. "Tell me you weren't part of this attack."
For a split second I clock a sorrow, a deep regret in her face, but it's quickly masked with indifference. "Haven't you learned by now, Eris? Do not stick your nose where it does not belong."
My heart sinks, my shoulders slump. Thrane was right. My mother is guilty. "You really did have a hand in this, didn't you?"
"I do not know what you're talking about." She turns her back on me, signaling her guards to take me. "You will be escorted back to Hydra where you sit in a cell until your trial."
Anger burns bright in me. Everything I've built. Everyone I love is being ripped from me. I won't go down without a fight. "So, that's it? You will execute me for defending myself while you sat by and did nothing to help?"
"I said you would stand trial." She makes no move to look me in the eye. "I made no mention of execution."
"You and I both know how you operate, Mother. My trial will be nothing more than a formality. A box to check before you give Crius' family exactly what they want."
She side eyes me. "You used your magic against one of our own people! A powerful ally at that. There is no saving you, Eris."
"For the years I have been gone, a small part of me hoped you'd changed.
" I steady my voice, though my knees shake.
"That you recognized the pain and suffering you forced me to endure in silence and regretted not lending me a helping hand.
I am your flesh and blood. The salt of the sea and the brine of the sand. You left me to die."
She whips around, her feathers properly ruffled. "You didn't die, Eris!" she seethes. "You lived. You just made the mistake of thinking I had softened."
"No, I made the mistake of believing you capable of being a mother." I slide my hands to my sides. "At least I know I was right about you."
Her eyes widen. "No! Stop her!"
But her soldiers aren't fast enough. I slash my hands around the room, water creatures varying in size attack the soldiers. My mother is unaffected by my magic, simply slamming her hand against the water serpent cast her direction and crushing it against the stone pavers.
"Enough!" She shouts and storm clouds appear in the sky. She shoves her hand toward me and a burst of water crashes against me, pinning me to the wall. I grit my teeth, attempting to wiggle free, but fail. My mother whips her water magic against my water creatures slicing them to pieces.
Her soldiers regain their footing. One forces me to my knees while the second slaps manacles on my wrists.
"They know you helped the Soul Eaters," I grind my back teeth, not making it easy for them to bind me. "They're guarding your ships at the harbor. There's no escape for you." I let loose a shaky laugh. "You will be captured and held accountable for your part in the attack."
My mother slides down on to knee before me, an unsettling smile gracing her lips. She strokes her hand down my cheek. "Oh, Eris. Who said anything about going to the harbor?"