Chapter 47
Forty - Seven
Eris
Inever thought I would be back here. Hydra hasn't changed a bit from the little I was permitted to see.
I was escorted from the ship's brig to the dungeon beneath the palace.
It's not damp and sewer infested like other dungeons around the Six Kingdoms. I am locked in a room with a bed and a private bathroom, but the door is bolted shut and the only window is a large, circular one with a view of the underwater portion of Hydra.
I press my hand against the cold glass. My people are swimming freely around the underwater city, not casting me a second glance.
Though I am one with the sea, I know my mother was strategic in placing me here. I've grown fond of the sun and the above-sea world. This is one of her many micro cruelties to keep me in line.
Food comes twice a day, but I've barely touched my first meal this morning. My appetite is lacking. An aching body and broken heart will do that to a girl.
Bolts to my cell door unlock and within seconds, the circular door swings open. I whip around. No one is permitted to visit me. Anxiety spears through me at the thought of seeing my mother's guards. But I rest easy when I see Thalia in the threshold.
"It's been a while, Thalia." I greet my older sister.
"You've certainly looked better, Eris," she shoots back.
There's no hostility in her tone, only teasing, and it makes me breathe easier.
Out of all my sisters, Thalia and I used to be the closest. I felt guilty when I left.
I knew she wouldn't understand and she probably wouldn't forgive me for abandoning her.
But at the moment, it was all about survival.
So, why is regret bubbling in my chest now?
"I've felt better, too," I stand up, wincing with the motion.
She frowns. "I was told to tend to a few cuts you sustained on the journey home." In two steps, she's on me, her hands grabbing ahold of my arm and lifting my sleeve. She stills when she sees the bruises. "What happened?"
"Mother's guards happened." I groan. "I tried to escape. They punished me for it."
"What are you talking about?"
"What are you not understanding, Thalia?" I hiss, frustration high. I tried to shove what happened into the back of my mind, not dwell on it.
"I want you to tell me the truth," she growls back. "What did they do to you?"
"Beat me with their fists," I snatch my arm from her. "They got a few kicks in if I'm remembering correctly, too."
There's confusion in her gaze. "Mother allowed them to hurt you?"
"She gave the order," I recount.
When they dragged me to their ship hiding off the western coast of Tronovia, I put up a good fight.
I didn't go willingly and anyone who picked me up was met with my fists.
Finally, they wizened up and tied my wrists and ankles and carried me like a rug draped over one of their shoulders.
Once we were aboard, I was tossed into a cell and surrounded by three guards.
My mother stood outside the cell, chin tilted upward.
"You've caused us nothing but trouble," she declared with a sing-song voice. "You've given me no choice but to have you punished." Mother nodded toward the guards and then all I felt was pain.
I couldn't fight back. I was still tied.
Anytime I tried to use my magic, my mother snuffed it out with a flick of her wrist. Despite my screams and groans with each fist and boot connecting to my arms, back, and legs, no one from the upper deck came to investigate.
My father and my oldest sister, if they could hear me, left me to my mother's devices.
It felt like a small eternity passed before she snapped her fingers and her soldiers stopped.
"Do not test me again, Eris." Mother wasn't disturbed by my condition.
In fact, it seemed to delight her to see me crumbled on the cold floor, tears flowing down my face.
"Next time will be far worse." With her last warning, they ascended the steps, and no one came to visit me on the journey back to Hydra.
Thalia pales and plops down on my mattress clutching her stomach. "I can't believe she had them assault you." Her eyes narrow, snapping up to look at me. "Show me the bruises."
"I'd have to strip naked for you to – "
"Show me," she pleads.
I slip out of all my clothes, keeping my bralette and panties on, and she stills. I'm covered in bruises. Some are beginning to yellow, but most are still dark and angry from the relentless beating.
"I'm surprised they didn't break your bones," she rasps.
"They're skilled soldiers," I drawl. "Had the intention been to break my bones, they would have done so. I suppose it's Mother's way of being merciful."
Thalia reaches her hand toward me, silently asking permission to touch me. "I can heal you."
There's a part of me that wants to let her heal me.
Erase all the bruises staining my skin and alleviate me of the aches and pains.
But I know she's only here because my mother sent her.
I can't be battered and bruised while standing trial – even if it is a complete sham.
If she wants to parade me around her court and appease Crius' family, I won't play any part to it.
They'll see what she had her soldiers do to me.
"Please," Thalia begs. There's fear in her blue eyes. Then it hits me.
"Did she threaten you?" I ask and she flinches.
"No," she forces a smile. "I don't want to see you suffer."
"If I say no to you healing me, what will happen to you?"
Her eyes widen, but she continues the charade. "What do you mean? Nothing is going to happen to me if you say no."
"You're a bad liar, Thalia. Always have been, always will be." I snatch her hand in mine and squeeze. "Talk to me. What's going on?"
The soft lines of her face suddenly harden as she narrows her eyes at me. "You shouldn't have run away, Eris. Things only got worse for us when you did."
My heart clenches in my chest. "What are you talking about?"
"When Crius' body was found and you were missing, all hell broke loose," she wrenches her arm free. "Mother was hellbent on finding you. She sent Hydrans all over the Six Kingdoms to find where you might have run off to. She questioned everyone. Servants, dock workers, dressmakers. Even us."
"By us, you mean – "
"Her own daughters!" Thalia whimpers, reliving horrific memories.
"We weren't asked nicely. Mother suspected one of us helped you escape.
But none of us knew where you had gone." She presses her hand to her face.
"We were followed. I couldn't even take a shower without a servant being present.
She didn't want to take any chances more of us would try to run.
It was stifling, Eris." Her eyes flash up to meet mine.
"Why did you do it? Surely you must have known she would punish us. "
I shake my head, guilt bubbling in my stomach. "No, I didn't know. Had I known – "
"You still would have left," she says somberly. "And now you're back, sitting in a cell, waiting for judgment. Was it worth it?"
Memories of baking with Finn and going on adventures with Atlas and Nyx pop into my head. Showing Shaye water foxes in Bava. Even the mundane routine of going to Finn's apothecary shop are some of the best memories.
"Yes," I say softly, tears welling in my eyes knowing I might never see any of them again. "It was worth defying her." Feeling a little rebellious, I add, "You should try it, Thalia."
"There is no victory in going against her." My sister seethes, hissing each word in hushed tones.
"I had victory."
"You're in a cell."
"But I still tasted freedom," I clamp my hands on either side of her arms and rattle her.
"I experienced love, friendship, and peace.
I went on adventures, Thalia. Remember how we used to talk about traveling around the Six Kingdoms when we were old enough?
How many has Mother permitted you to see? "
Thalia's face drops. "You know I've never left Hydran shores."
"Exactly! What is she so afraid of?" I growl. "Why does she not want us to experience other cultures, learn the ways of our allies?" I inch closer and whisper, "She does not love us, Thalia."
As if it's been ground into her all her life, she says, "Mother loves us – "
"No," I shake her, drawing her brainwashed gaze. "Not how a mother should love their children. She loves our magic. She loves the Talay name being solidified for generations to come. She loves our blind obedience and our submissive silence. She doesn't love us because we are her daughters."
She twists out of my grasp. "I think you've spent too much time away from our shores, Eris. Mother is hard on us and extreme in her methods, but she does care."
"When was the last time she hugged you?" My question throws her.
"Hugs do not equal affection," she stammers.
"Even so, a mother would express love for her children in some way, right?"
"We have everything we could ever need and want here. You're sounding like a spoiled brat." She hops to her feet and heads for the door.
"It's her job as a mother to provide for her children.
We shouldn't be laden with guilt for existing.
She shouldn't remind us of everything she's done for us to quiet or negate the harm she's caused.
So, I ask you again." I stand, squaring my shoulders to her.
"When is the last time she hugged you? Said one kind word to you?
Shared a meal with you with no strings attached?
" I take a step toward her. I have to save her.
I at least have to try. "Thalia, she threatened you to heal the bruises her soldiers inflicted.
Would a mother who truly loves you act this way? "
Thalia's mouth flies open, examples and excuses at the ready, but suddenly her eyes widen. As if realization is just now consuming her as it did me years ago. Her lips curl into a pained grimace. She furrows her brow. "She has her reasons for everything she does."
"Would you care to explain her reasoning for aligning herself with Bastian?"
She stills.
"Would you care to explain what her reasoning was for having a hand in attacking another kingdom?" I press, determined to tear the rose-tinted glasses from her face. "The Tronovians will not take her betrayal lightly."
"You think they will come for you?" she asks softly.
"Maybe," I answer honestly. "Will they come for Mother? You can count on it."
Thalia shakes her head somberly. "That would be most unwise." She flicks her gaze up to meet mine. "Mother is expecting them to come."
My stomach flips. My mother commands the storms. She can sink ships before they reach Hydran shores. She delights in it. If the Tronovians send a fleet, it will certainly be destroyed. "She wouldn't."
"To protect Hyrdra – "
"You mean to protect herself," I interrupt, a viciousness in my tone.
Thalia reaches out and grabs me by the shoulders. "Don't you get it, Eris? She is Hydra. She won't permit either to fall."
"There's already a war brewing in the east and she's ready to start one here? The demons will overrun us all. Hydra won't be safe because we are in the middle of the sea."
"Would they even reach our shores?" She tilts her head like a curious bird. "Last I knew, demons couldn't swim from the mainland here."
She is prepared to watch the other kingdoms fall. "Why does it sound like you're on her side?"
"We're Hydrans. We – "
"Don't spout that brainwashed bullshit at me, Thalia," I push her off me, taking a step back toward the window view of the kingdom beneath the sea. "Answer me. Are you with her?"
"What do you want me to say?" A rogue tear slips down her cheek. "I'm not brave like you, Eris."
"I didn't leave Hydra because I was brave," I say. "I left Hydra fearing for my life. I saw it as the only way to survive. There was nothing brave about it."
Her body trembles. She bites her thumb. A nervous tick she's had since we were children.
My heart breaks for her. I've seen our mother for what she truly is. I've tasted freedom, despite losing it in the end. I won't go out without a fight, but Thalia is right. She's not like me. She's so desperate to be perfect, to earn our mother's love, that she has lost herself along the way.
I lift my arm. "Here. Heal me."
Her eyes widen. "If I heal you, it will speed your trial date – "
"But you won't incur mother's wrath."
We stand in complete silence, staring at one another. I breathe her in, fearing this might be our last conversation before my mother inevitably snuffs out my life. I twirl one of her hip long braids in-between my fingers before sliding my hands up on either side of her face.
"It's ok, Thalia." Tears slide down my cheeks and before I know it, we're both crying. "Heal me."