Chapter 50
Fifty
Nyx
I'm not in the mood for a stuffy dinner tonight.
After spending hours recounting the torture Shaye and I endured, I need some space and fresh air.
Plus, I've missed the hell out of Drexel and want to give him the attention he deserves.
So I make my way to Marshu and find a stool to sit and talk to my dragon.
I give him a few treats and run my hand down his snout.
I can't deny how peaceful it is out here at night.
Most of the dragons, including the hatchlings, are asleep.
I walked by ZuZu's pen and found her curled with her brothers in a pile of scales and tails fast asleep.
I don't disturb her, but plan to visit her tomorrow if I can.
My motives may be skewed. Of course, the hatchling tugs at my heartstrings, but it's her caretaker who I desperately want more time with.
I whisper all my thoughts and feelings to Drexel, knowing he won't tell a soul I've gone soft. But when Drexel turns his head to the corridor behind me, I slowly twist to see who might have been eavesdropping.
Hagar stands a short distance away, watching me with keen interest. I'm not sure she heard what I confided in my dragon, but if she did, she makes no indication of it.
"How did you come to claim a Frost Dragon?" Hagar asks, breaking the silence, her arms clasped behind her back. "You never did tell me."
"I didn't claim him. He chose me."
Her brow arches, knowing there's more to the story.
"One thousand years ago," I square my shoulders with hers, "my ancestor married a Basilius.
Drexel sensed the bloodline in my magic.
He found himself riderless and I was who he chose.
" Short and simple. She nods in satisfaction of my explanation and marches to the wall where saddles are kept and grabs one.
"He's a handsome creature." She peers up at Drexel.
"Like his rider." I wiggle my brows and she puffs out a laugh, rolling her eyes. "Do you disagree?"
She hoists the heavy saddle and walks toward her dragon a few pens down. "I don't need to tell you what you already know."
I slip in front of her and scoop the saddle. "Tell me anyway."
"Tread carefully," her eyes dart up and down the way. "Our proximity might look questionable."
"To who? Tariq?" Saying his name leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
I observed him during Bastian's fight interacting with Hagar.
He grabbed her wrist once and when she tried to wiggle from his grasp, he only tightened his hand around her.
There was anger in his eyes. There's no love between them, but I fear there might be something more sinister at play than Hagar is letting on.
Hagar crosses her arms over her chest, popping a hip to the side. It's then I realize she's in riding leathers. She must be going on patrol. "To Helios," she says. "I am waiting for him to meet me. It's our night to patrol."
Suspicion confirmed. "You afraid he will suspect something between us?" I ask, walking beside her to Zahir's pen.
"What is there to suspect?" She shrugs nonchalantly. "There's nothing going on between us."
"Right," I drawl. "There's nothing going on between us."
Hagar stops and faces me. She searches my face. "But you'd like there to be."
A statement. I quirk a brow. "Now why would you say that?"
"I see it in your eyes." She grabs the saddle from me and enters Zahir's pen. "No good would come of us crossing that line," she finally says and it is akin to a punch to the nuts.
I lean against the gate, eyeing her head-to-toe. "I can think of a few good reasons to cross the line."
She scoffs. "Apart from the sex – "
"With all due respect," I interrupt her. "I'm not referring to sex, although I'm sure it would be mind-blowing. I can get sex whenever I want."
There's a flash of jealousy in her gaze that sets my heart galloping. "Then what is it you want?"
Fuck it. I'm done playing games. "You."
She clicks her tongue. "How anticlimactic. I expected something better than that."
"I know it sounds ridiculous but if I could actually explain how I feel maybe you'd see me differently."
That seems to nab her curiosity. Zahir saddled and ready for patrol, Hagar reclines against him, crossing a leg in front of the other and motions for me to speak. "Seeing as Helios is late, I've got time to listen."
Shit. This is new territory for me. I've only ever wanted sex with no strings or feelings attached.
But with Hagar… things are different. I don't even know how to explain myself without sounding insane.
Is this how Atlas and Shaye felt dancing around one another for weeks?
Fuck. It's time to be honest and vulnerable.
I rake a hand through my hair. I remember my scar but when I go to cover it, I stop.
Hagar hates when I cover my face. So instead, I flip my hair behind me and stand tall.
"Every couple I ask how they knew they'd found their person tells me the same thing.
They just knew. It pissed me off. How stupid. How could you know so quickly?"
"But you've changed your mind?" She tilts her head to the side and I nod.
"When I opened my eyes and saw your face, I just knew. You're my person. There is no one else for me. So, when I say I want you, I mean all of you. Not for tonight. Not for a short, predetermined time. I want you now and until the day I breathe my last."
Hagar stares at me. A small eternity passes before she clears her throat. "You're right. That does sound stupid."
I huff out a laugh. After all my soul-bearing honesty, her sarcasm tramples me.
"Especially since my hand is supposed to be given to another."
"I don't give a shit about your possible engagement, Hagar," I growl.
"Not very honorable of you," she teases.
"Fuck honor." Her mouth drops but I'm not done. "Fuck tradition. I know what I want and won't let anyone stand in my way for the preservation of a man-made construct."
She pushes up from lazily leaning on her dragon and marches toward me, brows furrowed. "So, if honor and tradition do not determine your steps, what do you stand for?"
"Honesty."
"Most people don't value honesty above diplomacy." She nears me and my lungs constrict.
"Good thing I'm not a politician. Otherwise, I'd be stuck upstairs in your father's house playing nice with the others."
"I'm sure you'd hurt plenty of egos in that room." She stands directly in front of me, staring up at me with challenge in her eyes.
"You clearly haven't met Thrane Basilius yet.
" I laugh, knowing the Frost Elf would be itching to put people in their places.
"I may be blunt, but someone has to be the voice of reason.
At the end of the day, I meant what I said.
I don't care about your future engagement – quite frankly, I don't think you care for it either – but until you tell me you aren't interested in me, I won't stop pursuing you. "
Hagar slithers closer, pressing her chest against mine. "And if I tell you I'm not interested?" she says softly, her breath tickling the small patch of bare skin of my chest.
I twirl one of her short locks around my finger and lean closer so my lips hover just above hers. "I'm a man of my word, Hagar. I'll let you marry a man you don't care for. But if you want me like I want you, speak now."
Her brown eyes turn molten and she lifts up on her toes, her lips about to press against mine.
Heavy footsteps approach and Hagar puts a healthy distance between as right as a messenger from the Naziri house bounds around the corner. He bows when Hagar is in his sight.
"Your brother has sent word he will not be able to go on patrol tonight," the man reports. "I have been instructed to find a replacement."
"I could go with you," I offer, my heart thunders against my ribcage.
Hagar and the messenger look at me wide-eyed.
I motion a few pens down the line. "I have a dragon and I've been on patrol missions before," I explain, justifying my qualifications. "I could fill in for a night."
The messenger quirks a brow, ignoring me. "Should I find Master Tariq?" he asks Hagar and her eyes find mine.
For a moment, all we do is stare at one another. Hope builds in my chest that she'll say yes. If she says yes to me over Tariq, I'll know my feelings aren't one sided. I breathe deeply, steadying my constricting chest.
"No, Raneel." She shakes her head, focus still fixed on me. "Tariq has been on patrol twice this week. Let him rest." A wicked half-smile tugs her lips upward. "The Tronovian will fly with me tonight."
Flying above the desert in the dead of night is exciting.
My entire dragon riding career has been spent practicing in the daytime.
So being above the sand dunes with a warm breeze against my face and twinkling stars is a welcome change.
Beside me, Hagar and Zahir lead the way.
She gave me the rundown before we left of what to look for.
Signs of demons or creatures from the underworld.
We are not to engage unless we have to and we are supposed to remain unseen. Like wraiths in the night.
Enver Sol blessed blades in the Great War with his holy magic that bind demons to them.
The Naziris, when they made their escape to the desert, kept all the weaponry the Father of Light gave them.
That's how they've kept the desert – and subsequently their kingdom – safe from the underlings that survived.
Granted, Hagar admitted, it's rare when they see anything. But they're prepared when they do.
Though Atlas gave me my twin blades back when we were reunited, I keep them strapped to my back and have the dagger Hagar loaned me strapped to my hip. My blades will do me no good against demons, but creatures, I can slice up all day.