Chapter Five
BLISS
Amelia wakes me up the next morning with a fresh hot cup of coffee. I watch the steam rise off it, though I make no move towards it. I’m bundled up under the covers in my old bedroom, and if I could manage it I would pull them up over my head. But I don’t.
Mostly because I can’t. My limbs don’t want to move and Amelia and I both know why that is. Succubi need sex.
And I haven’t gotten any in months. My magic tried its best to heal my hand, which only resulted in a slightly less burned hand and power so low, my brain might shut off completely.
And part of me really doesn’t care. “I called Taser,” Amelia tells me, nudging the mug of coffee closer to me.
“Drink this, and get showered. He’ll be here soon and you will use him to top off your reserves, okay? ”
“No thanks.”
“Bliss, this isn’t a joke. You could seriously die. That stone injured you and you were already super low.”
The ache in my chest that always comes with low power gnaws at me. It’s ten times worse than being hungry.
“You’ve slept with him tons of times, what’s the problem?”
“He has a girlfriend now.”
She rips the covers off me. “I’d rather him cheat on her, than have you die.”
“I’ll find someone else.”
“No, you won’t, and even if you would, you don’t have time.”
“Get my phone. There’s a guy from work—”
“He won’t get here in time.”
I know she’s right, but part of me just doesn’t care.
If I could just fade slowly into sleep and then into death, I’d allow it.
I’d slip beneath the covers and never emerge of my own accord.
But dying due to power fading that low is an excruciating pain.
In fact, death by power outage isn’t a very successful suicide method for fae.
We usually fall into a primal energy and end up seeking out what we need.
It becomes no longer our choice, but the choice of our magic.
So when my bedroom door squeaks open and Taser pokes his head inside, I grumble and finally push myself out of bed.
I practically chug the coffee and it scalds going down, but I don’t mind it.
I go into the bathroom and turn on the shower, pushing the knob over enough to make the water match the temperature of the coffee.
I can hear Taser follow me into the bathroom, no doubt being prodded by Amelia.
“Bliss?” he asks slowly, locking eyes with me through the glass door of the shower.
The steam from the water has already fogged up the glass, but I can see his beautiful deep brown and completely rune-less eyes.
My stomach drops a little at that. Taser would have been a safe mate.
He wouldn’t reject me and I think we could grow to love each other.
But part of me knows we are only ever meant to be friends.
Our friends with benefits arrangement never once blurred the lines into something more.
I look away from him, putting my hands out on the shower wall to steady myself.
“I don’t want to be part of cheating,” I tell him, a tear sliding down my cheek.
He pulls off his shirt, revealing a sculpted tan and tattooed torso. “I don’t either.” He begins to unbuckle his belt.
“Then leave,” I reply, but lust has started to kick in, despite what my brain has to say about it. I can’t take my eyes off him as he slides his jeans off and steps up to the shower door. He pulls it open and allows his gaze to rake down my body.
“We broke up.” He takes my injured hand in his, pressing a gentle kiss to it.
“You did?” I ask, my head falling to the side to study him.
He pauses, then nods, his eyes darkening. “Well, she dumped me, anyway. Help me get over her?”
I know what he’s doing. With us it’s always been about helping each other. He knows I feel bad about using him, so he’s trying to make sure I know we’ll both get something out of it.
I finally nod, and he steps inside. I reach out, running my fingers over his chest. Then one hand winds around his neck, pulling his face closer to mine. My other hand trails down his stomach. Water already starts to dampen his light brown hair, streaming down his body.
He smiles, his mouth so very close to mine, as he closes the gap between us, kissing me hard. His tongue pushes into my mouth and I groan into him, allowing him to hoist me up so that my entrance is lined up with his cock.
My body is so desperate for this that I’m already wet.
And Taser knows it. He doesn’t hesitate.
He backs me up to the shower wall and pushes inside me.
He rolls his hips and I try to meet his thrusts, but mostly I just let him take me, my fingernails digging into his back.
He pins me to the wall with his body, his fingers pressing into the flesh of my thighs.
I can feel my orgasm building. When he puts his lips on my neck, sucking and kissing, I come undone around him, moaning out his name, my inner walls contracting and squeezing him.
He follows me, a hoarse cry falling from his lips as he spills into me.
“Fuck, Bliss,” Taser whispers. The high of succubus sex now flows through his veins.
His pupils expand and a lopsided smile appears on his face.
He lowers me to my feet and I glance at my hand, now completely healed.
I’m still a little tired, but I feel better than I have in ages, physically at least.
Taser thoughtfully helps me wash, dries me with a towel, wraps me in a robe, and carries me out to my bed, where he tucks me back in. He settles down next to me, pulling me into a warm snuggle. We lay there for a bit and after a while a thought occurs to me.
“Taser?” I ask, wondering if he’s fallen asleep.
“Yeah?” he mumbles, his mouth close to my ear.
“What was your bond activation ceremony like?”
He considers my question for a moment, and I can feel him shrug. “Normal, I guess?”
“So the stone was warm and you put your hand on it and nothing really happened? That’s how Amelia described it.”
“Yeah, I suppose it was like that,” he replies.
“Where was your ceremony?” I ask. Taser is thirty-one now, so his ceremony would have been a few years ago, but I don’t remember attending.
“I did it back in New York, so my family could go,” Taser replies, reaching out and playing with a lock of my hair.
“And you were dating Stacey, even though she’s human and you knew she wasn’t your bondmate? Why?”
“Beats being alone.” Taser sighs, and I can feel the bed shift as he sits up. “And I like her, well liked her, I guess. But, yeah, it’s weird knowing that there’s a type of connection out there bigger than that.”
“Do you think you’ll meet your mate soon?”
Taser leans over and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. “I try not to think about it, actually.”
“It’s all I can think about,” I murmur, the high of good sex making me sleepy.
Taser laughs and gets up, but I catch his arm, pulling him back to the bed.
“You didn’t feed,” I say, titling my head and offering him my neck.
He looks at me, a ravenous gleam in his eye. “You still need more healing,” he says. “I shouldn’t.”
“Drink, and then come back tomorrow and fuck me again.” Post sex, I really don’t sound like myself.
I close my eyes, and for a few seconds I think he’s left, but then I feel his fangs bite into me as gently as they can.
He only takes a few sips of me and retracts, giving me another kiss, this time on the forehead.
I hear the bed creak as he settles down next to me.
His arms wrap around my middle as I drift off.
Pale morning light drifts in through the cracks in the blinds.
It takes me a few moments to return to the present.
I jolt upright in my old bed, looking around at all the familiar surroundings.
I wasn’t really in the right state of mind to take in everything about my old room yesterday.
I was in too much pain and too low on power to even care where I was.
How many times have I woken up to the room looking exactly this way?
The dust moats swirling in the air exactly as they are now?
The hushed sounds of birds flitting in and out as they sing outside my window, as they always have?
It feels so normal to wake up here, but at the same time, there’s a sense that I no longer belong.
The Bliss that hung up all these old rock and metal band posters would have laughed if I’d told her I now work at a country bar.
I pull my old worn pastel pink comforter around my shoulders as I turn around and look up at the posters I’d hung above my bed.
The one to my left is a Goddess’ Trance poster.
My sister stands in the middle clad all in black, with her long flowing dark hair and dark makeup.
Dericia stands to her right, draping her arm over Amelia’s shoulder, her braids collected together in a larger braid that falls over her shoulder.
The two are surrounded by the rest of the band.
I can make out Taser and Tubbs—the drummer—standing further back to either side.
But there is a rip down the poster, tearing it into two halves right where the fifth member should be between Amelia and Tubbs.
Despite the tear, the poster has stayed up on the wall.
It’s been there so long it’s practically glued to the paint.
The face missing from the poster haunts me more often than not, but I put that out of my mind by looking at the poster next to it.
It features artwork from Voracious Maw’s second album.
Three years ago I caught Amelia hanging it up for me, wanting to replace the ripped poster with it.
But I told her just to put it next to the damaged one.
It didn’t matter, because I was leaving.
I wasn’t going to make her choose between me and her band, so I moved out.
Got a different job. Tried to move on with my life.
I stand up on my bed, facing the posters, my comforter falling from my shoulders with the movement.
I reach out and let my fingers trail the red and black details of the poster on the right.
This album got me through that period of my life.
And for that reason, even though I love their music and they are probably my favorite band of all time, I never came back to retrieve the poster and hang it up at my apartment.
It just reminded me of where I was at around the time when the album released.
I let out a sigh and hop off my bed, picking up an empty water glass I drained before falling asleep.
As I make my way down the stairs to refill it in the kitchen, I hear voices.
Taser and Amelia’s muffled conversation barely reaches the top of the stairs.
I must have woken up when Taser got up to leave my room.
He didn’t need to. I enjoy cuddling more than sex, honestly, and I always loved it when he stayed the night and was there in the morning. He knows that.
As I hit the last stair, the hushed tone of their conversation makes me stop short.
Taser and Amelia stand in the open living space that sits next to the foyer.
I can see them through two columns in the half wall that separate the stairs from the living room.
I smile to myself as my eyes roam Taser’s broad back, his shoulder blades biting through his shirt.
He holds his shoes, obviously on his way out the door.
“How’d you get her to agree? I figured she would have put up more of a fight.”
“I told her Stacey and I broke up,” comes Taser’s whispered reply. Hmm, that’s a weird way to phrase it.
“You broke up?” Amelia asks, surprise in her voice.
He shakes his head.
“Oh.”
The high from sex is doused immediately.
Tears well in my eyes and I race back up the stairs, throwing on some old clothes I never bothered taking with me. I climb out my window like I’ve done countless times before, needing to get the hell out of here.