Chapter Twelve
BLISS
THREE YEARS AGO
As we watch Voracious Maw wrap up their set and the frontman Wrath collapses on stage, I look around to see if anyone is going to help him. He’s obviously in pain, but everyone is acting like it’s part of their show. I turn to Jordan.
“Someone needs to help him,” I say, tugging on his sleeve.
“It’s just part of their gimmick, Bliss. Don’t be fucking dumb.”
I let my hand fall away from his arm. “Don’t call me that,” I tell him, my voice too quiet.
“I won’t call you dumb, if you stop being dumb.”
I turn and start pushing my way through the crowd. Jordan sighs and follows me out, reaching out and grabbing my arm. “Babe, look—he’s fine.”
He points up to the stage and I see Wrath thanking the audience and walking off stage without saying anything or interacting with the crowd. I think that’s normal, but part of me wonders if he’s also just in too much pain.
“Bliss, I’m sorry. But they’re just a lame band with a bunch of gimmicky performances. I just hate to see your compassion wasted on a skinny ugly freak show in a mask.”
“Why are you so hateful towards them? Why do you care so much that they wear masks?” I want to hurl the words at him, wound him like he does me, but my voice once again barely carries. I know with his fae hearing that he heard me anyways.
“Because, it’s not about the music with these fucking gimmicks.
Everyone fawns all over them, while bands like ours don’t get noticed because we’re considered average.
But if they didn’t wear masks and all these fan girls could see how nerdy and unattractive those guys actually are, no one would be at this show. ”
“You don’t know what they look like!”
“I saw them before the show and trust me, Bliss, they’re just a group of skinny gamer types.
And if you were wanting them to fuck you, you’ll be seriously disappointed.
Not one of them would be able to lift you up.
You’re too heavy for them. You’d just have to lie there underneath them while their tiny dicks barely fill you up. ”
His words hit a deep insecurity within me.
He’s remarked on my eating habits a few times over the past year, like he’s worried I’m putting on weight.
I usually like my body, my curves, but sometimes I can’t help but compare myself to Amelia and Reese.
They are leaner, taller. My hand involuntarily moves to my stomach.
“Babe, you know I love your body. But it’s why I lift such heavy weights, so I can have fun with you, throw you around a bit while I make you come.”
My shoulders sag at that. I can count the number of orgasms he’s given me during our whole relationship on one hand. And they all came after I’d been reading some really filthy smutty books.
“I want to go home,” I whisper to him.
“We’re going to the bar.”
“I don’t want to. I want to go home.”
“Stop being a fucking bitch, Bliss. Why are you ruining tonight for me? I have work all next week. I just want to hang out after my show with my girl and my friends and you start a fucking fight with me.”
I turn and walk out. If he doesn’t want to fight with me, then fine. I won’t fight. I’m going home.
“What are you going to do, just walk home?”
“I’m calling a ride.”
“The fuck you are. You’ll probably end up fucking the driver in his car.”
I whip around. “What? Why do you do that? Why do you slut shame me just because of what I am? I have never, ever slept around on you.”
“Well, maybe you should start, because Bliss, I hate to break it to you, but you’re kind of boring in bed. Maybe you could use the experience.”
“Give me your keys,” I say, holding out my hand. “I’ll drive myself home, and you can get a ride with Jinx.”
“Fuck that shit. We’re going out to the bar, Bliss.”
“No.”
“You’re such a fucking bitch!” he yells at me as I stalk towards his car in the parking lot. I tug on the handle.
“Unlock the door and either let me drive myself home or you drive.”
He comes around to my side of the car, his face livid.
He unlocks the car and all but pushes me inside the passenger seat, slamming the car door shut repeatedly, over and over again.
I scream at him to stop, but he doesn’t, not for a while.
I tuck myself inside the car so that I don’t get caught in the door.
My limbs lock up with fear and I stay frozen as he gets into the driver’s seat.
Move, my mind whispers to me. Get out. But I can’t move, can barely think.
Jordan starts the car and peels off, going way, way too fast. I’m too scared to tell him to slow down, worried it’ll make him go even faster.
My magic floats to the surface in a thin fog, wanting to ease his anger, subdue him into a pleasant calm energy. But I don’t unleash it. My powers aren’t strong enough to overpower him. They rarely have been.
The one time I was able to seduce him, it brought out this really gentle side of him. We had sex and it was one of my most favorite times together. But after he was angry, feeling like I’d somehow duped him.
And I was punished for it. He gave me the cold shoulder. Ignored me for a week and then made me feel crazy, like I’d manipulated him.
So I push down my magic. I know it’ll only make it worse.
I take deep breaths, trying to calm myself as we approach a bridge.
It’s been raining all week on and off and the roads are slick. I grip the door handle with my right hand and the edge of the seat with my left hand.
He sees it out of the corner of his eye and pushes down further on the gas pedal, muttering something to himself.
I don’t look at the speedometer, but I guess we’re going about seventy miles per hour.
On a residential street.
We’re almost to the bridge, and Jordan swerves around a sedan going the speed limit.
I shut my eyes. Moments later I open them. Mercifully, we’ve crossed to the other side of the bridge.
“Jordan,” I whisper. “Please, please slow down.”
It’s a mistake.
He lifts his foot off the gas and at first I think I’ve gotten through to him. Then he guns it again.
I let out a scream as we hit a wide puddle of water. The feeling of the tires no longer making contact with the pavement throw my stomach into chaos.
We hydroplane over the puddle that’s closer to the size of a small pond, and I feel the moment Jordan loses control of the car.
The back of the car starts swinging around, turning us.
I scream as in seconds the car spins around. A concrete wall comes out of nowhere, crashing into my side of the car.
I don’t feel the impact.
I wake up with a pounding in my head, my bedroom coming into focus. Something pricks my neck and a weight shifts on top of me.
I groan, trying to push the thing off me.
How did I get here? What happened last night?
I catch sight of the window and my confusion increases. It’s pitch black outside. Still night time.
Finally my brain starts working enough to register Jordan is on me, feeding off my neck.
“Get off me,” I mumble, pushing at him. My vision is going blurry.
My body feels like I was run over by a car.
Car…
Jordan’s car spinning out of control flashes through my mind in pictures. Just individual frames of the crash.
I wasn’t run over but… Ouch.
“Get off me,” I say, more forcefully. I wrench my neck free, which sends yet another dizzying wave of pain through my body.
“I just need a little more, then I can heal you,” Jordan says, reaching for me.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Bliss, you need to feed. You’re injured.”
“Get out. We’re done,” I mutter to him.
His eyes go blank. I’ve never understood how he can do that.
One minute he’s looking at me like I’m his world.
And the next, it’s like all the shine has dried up and two dark, soulless eyes stare back at me.
But none of those times are quite as frightening as right now, though I can’t put my finger on why.
“Fine, die for all I care.” He’s up off my bed, one foot out the door, waiting for me to take it back.
“I mean it, Jordan. I’m breaking up with you. We’re done.”
He slams my door shut.
I fish out my phone from my purse before I can pass out. I’m dizzy from my injuries and now the blood loss. I rack my brain for who to call. My eyes land on a text from Taser. It’s a video he sent me with an adorable puppy because he’d heard I’d had a bad day at work.
I call him.
“Taser?” I ask when he answers.
“Hey Bliss, what’s up? Do you need Amelia? She’s kinda busy flirting away with some guys she met at the bar. Oh and you won’t believe what happened after the show—”
“Taser.”
“Alright, alright, I’ll go get Amelia.”
“No, no, don’t tell her I called, please. I, um, I need some help actually.”
“With what?”
I leave out a lot of the details but explain the crash. “I need someone to, um, well, you know…” I leave it hanging there, hoping he’s catching on to what I’m asking.
“I’ll be right there, Bliss.”
Twenty minutes later Taser slips into my bedroom. “You didn’t tell Amelia, right?”
He shakes his head. “Nope.” He pauses at the foot of my bed. “So where is Jordan?”
“We broke up.”
He nods solemnly. “I thought that might have been the case.”
I don’t know how to start casual sex. I don’t know what to do with myself.
Taser sits next to me on the bed, and we decide to put on a movie so it’s a bit less weird.
Finally, he turns to me and leans in, kissing me.
It’s weird at first because I’m so used to Jordan, but I quickly find that I like kissing Taser so much more.
It’s still not mind-blowing or anything, but it’s pleasant and I realize in that moment that kissing Jordan has always felt wrong.
Where Jordan was demanding and demeaning, Taser is gentle and soft, slow.
We take our time adjusting to one another and he pays special attention to my needs, guiding me to a steady climax.
As I finish, I can feel my body healing itself, finally feeling that fullness that comes with topped off power reserves.
I’m buzzing so much with magic that my inner succubus demands more. We end up going for another round. When we’re both done again, chests heaving, Taser looks at me and smiles and I find myself smiling back. “Bliss, can I ask a favor?” he asks, a bit timidly.
“Sure, anything.”
“Would it be alright if I feed from you?” He looks shy about it. “I don’t usually feed from strangers or humans. It’s uncomfortable for me.”
Tears erupt from my eyes, and Taser holds me close to him. “Bliss, I’m so sorry, forget I asked.”
“No, it’s not that. Jordan never asked, he just bit.”
Taser continues to hold me as I cry. Finally the tears subside and I angle my neck out for him. “Go for it,” I say encouragingly. For the first time in a long time, I’m overflowing with my magic, so I have some to spare.
He’s tentative at first, but finally he lowers his teeth to my neck and bites gently. Jordan was never, ever gentle about it. He seemed to relish in the pain it caused me, but Taser’s bite almost doesn’t even hurt. He takes a few drinks, careful not to undo all the work he put into recharging me.
We hang out for a bit afterwards until Taser starts to fall asleep. I nudge him gently and he decides that’s a sign to leave. He kisses me on the forehead. “Call me whenever you need, alright Bliss? We can take turns feeding. Friends with dinner benefits,” he adds, chuckling to himself.
He leaves, and despite knowing that everything that just happened was a good thing, I curl into a ball and cry my eyes out until there are no more tears left. I sit there waiting for sleep, but it’s taking its damn time.
Amelia slowly creaks my bedroom door open and maneuvers her way to my bed in the dark.
She lets out a curse as she stubs her toe on the foot of my bed frame.
As she steadies herself, she knocks over a pile of books I’d stacked on the floor ages ago.
“Fuck!” she whisper yells. I reach over and turn on the bedside lamp. I arch my brows at her.
“I’m not asleep. You could have just turned the light on.”
“Well, I can see that now,” she mutters back. “Why aren’t you asleep?” She holds up her hand to tell me not to answer that question. “Better yet, if you’re not sleeping, why didn’t you come out for drinks with us?”
“Jordan and I got into a fight.”
Amelia rolls her eyes. “Bliss, you need to kick him to the curb already. I’m serious.”
I throw the covers off my bed and get up.
“I’m not going to talk to you about it. The answer isn’t always to run when things get tough.
” I don’t know why I say this, instead of letting her know what happened just hours prior.
But I guess I just can’t get myself to share when she’s being so judgy and bossy.
Amelia stares up at me. “Is that what you think I do?”
I start pacing back and forth, the carpet showing a path I’ve already taken many times before. “You run from anyone good. Once something gets serious with a guy, you bolt!”
“Well, at least I don’t run straight to the worst guy on the fucking planet!” she yells at me, getting off my bed. “I’m trying to help you, Bliss. You’re fucking miserable, and you won’t do anything to change it. You deserve the world, and you’re settling for fucking scraps.”
She storms out of my room, slamming my door shut, and I cringe at the noise, going completely still. My terror and anxiety from earlier in the night flood into me.
The car door slamming after we left the show. Repeatedly slamming. My legs begin to shake like they did the whole car ride.