Chapter Twenty-One
PISCES
FIVE YEARS AGO
I pluck at the strings, creating a soft melodic sound that drifts through the small venue. Besides the guitar and my voice there’s barely any other noise. I waver ever so slightly at that thought, at the knowledge that everyone is watching me.
It’s a short song, a simple one. And it marks the end of our show. I finish, the sounds of the guitar fading away through the speakers. I walk back to the edge of the stage and hand off my guitar, and join Mist, Poison, and Eerie at the center of the stage as we thank the crowd.
My ears take in the applause and cheers going around, but through the bright lights I can’t make out the people in the crowd very well, especially through the makeshift mask I desperately need to replace.
This was our third gig as Voracious Maw, and I honestly can’t believe it, how it all came together.
Eerie claps me on the shoulder as he and the others depart from the stage, leaving me there by myself. I feel so exposed even with the mask, but I push that down, realizing people are still applauding. I bow low to the ground to show my appreciation.
It doesn’t feel like enough. I’ll never be able to find the words to express this level of gratitude.
I can’t believe people are loving our shows so much.
It doesn’t seem real.
And it doesn’t feel like I deserve it.
Once we’re hidden away backstage, I take off the mask, finding Shaun, Benny, and Evan already out of theirs, breathing in large gulps of air.
“Not gonna lie, mate, these things suck.” Evan ties up his sweaty hair into a bun. It must have been plastered to the back of his neck the whole show.
I’ve cut mine shorter so that I won’t have to feel it as much underneath the mask.
“Do we really have to wear them?” he continues, and I fix him with a glare. We’ve already been over this.
There’s a good reason for it.
Multiple ones.
“I like them,” Shaun says, pocketing his drumsticks in the back pocket of his pants. “We look fucking sick.”
“They’re badass,” Benny agrees. “But I am sad all the single ladies can’t see how beautiful I am.”
I sling an arm around him, pulling him into a sweaty hug. “I’m sure they can still tell.”
“I bet we could find some girls with mask kinks.” Evan shrugs. “I guess that’s worth it.”
I shake my head. “We’re not hooking up with fans, remember? We’re not gonna be that type of band.”
Evan lets out a sigh. “Fine. There’ll be plenty of hot band and crew members when we go to festivals and on tours and all that.”
Shaun and Benny laugh, high-fiving him.
I can’t fight the grin on my face, but it’s more about Evan’s optimism than anything else. I can’t really picture us playing at a large festival or getting big enough to warrant a tour. But that stuff isn’t important to me. I’m already doing what I need to.
Trying to, in some way, absolve what I’ve done.
Finding a way to make it about more than just myself.
We opt to head back to the church to celebrate a fun successful gig, instead of going out to the bar. These things don’t really pay well, and I’m saving up for a nicer guitar.
All in all, things have become okay. A year ago I would never have thought that.
I still blame myself for what happened to Leighton.
I’m still learning how to be a fucking siren.
I’ve mostly adjusted to the weirdness of literally feeding off flesh, but I still haven’t quite managed to control my emotions.
I can feel others’ emotions sometimes, but I’m not adept enough to tell when they aren’t mine. Just last week, I got angry because Evan was angry at a video game, and I attacked Shaun out of nowhere.
He shifted into a wolf and gave me a much warranted ass-kicking, and all was fine afterwards.
But it took me a few days to look him in the eyes again.
It’s also been a year since I’ve seen my family. They think I’m dead, but that’s better than them getting hurt by me.
But I’ve created a new life. I have good friends, and I have my music.
The four of us end up in the nave of the church, scattered around the pews.
We all live here in the renovated section of the building.
The rest of the church is still in need of upgrades, the sanctuary of the church probably most of all, but even still, it’s turned in to a place where we come to blow off steam or just hang out.
It’s a little drafty in here, especially with how cold it’s turning outside, so I pull the sleeves of my wool sweater over my fingers to help ward off the chill.
Shaun passes me a beer from a cooler he brought in and hands another to Evan.
Benny is walking a pew like it’s a balance beam, holding out both arms and putting one foot directly in front of the other.
As he passes Shaun and the cooler, Shaun puts out a beer for him to grab and he continues down the aisle.
“We need more artwork in here,” he muses, as he reaches the end and turns around in one graceful movement.
In a blink of an eye he uses his vampire speed to race back the way he came and back towards me. He plants himself next to me.
“How are you not exhausted?” Shaun muses.
“Shows always give me the zoomies afterwards,” Benny replies, shrugging. He opens the beer and takes one long pull from it.
“I always get the zoomies during the show,” I say, opening my beer as well and taking a sip.
“I’ve noticed.” Benny grins.
Evan comes over and nudges Benny’s foot. “What about the artwork?”
Benny shrugs. “I dunno. Can’t we replace that thing?” He points to the massive cross hanging above the altar.
Evan laughs. “I kind of like it, actually.”
“Then let me paint a mural on that wall,” Benny pleads, pointing to our left. “I just think this place needs a bit of color.”
“You can paint one,” Evan finally relents. “But it needs to be something really grand. A masterpiece, okay?”
Benny grins. “All my works are masterpieces.” He winks at Evan and zooms off in a blur to grab his supplies.
Shaun and I look at Evan with brows raised. He hasn’t even let me change the color of my bedroom walls. He shrugs. “We’re gonna be practically tearing this portion down to the studs at some point anyways.”
Shaun and I share amused grins. I hear footsteps towards the entrance to the sanctuary and look around, expecting to see Benny hauling in an armful of paint supplies, but instead my heart stammers and I can’t breathe.
Evan, Shaun, and I are all on our feet in a matter of seconds.
“Who the fuck are you?” Evan asks, his voice dripping with violence.
The church is completely locked, so he must have had to break in.
I put myself in between my friends and my cousin, who’s completely ignoring Shaun and Evan and staring at me like he’s seen a ghost.
Which is fair.
“Pisces?” Simon asks, his voice raw. He swallows a few times, trying to get his throat working. “It really is you.”
His shock heats into anger.
“You’ve been here this whole time?”
“Sces, who is this guy?” Shaun asks, gaze traveling between me and my cousin.
I take a step forward and Simon takes one back. “Sces? Is that what you’re going by now?” He shakes his head in disgust. “I can’t believe this. You’re here and you’re… fine?”
“I can explain,” I say, but Simon shakes his head again, taking another step back.
“Everyone thinks you’re dead.”
I stop cold, though I don’t know why. I know they think that. It was what I intended when I left what basically sounded like a suicide note for my parents to find.
But hearing him say it hits different.
“I— I had to. There’s so much you don’t know.”
“So tell me. Explain this. Explain how you’re here. Explain why you’re here.”
Shaun whispers behind me to Evan, “Who is this?”
“I think his cousin,” Evan whispers back.
“And he thinks Pisces is dead because…?”
“Because I told him to make his family think he’s dead because I figured that would be the safest for them.”
“You did what?!” Shaun hisses.
“Would you two save this for later?” I ask, my voice lethally quiet. My eyes stay on Simon.
“Right, continue,” Shaun says.
“Why would you want his family to think he’s dead?” Simon levels at Evan. “What kind of sick fuck are you? Pisces, why are you hanging out here? Is it drugs?”
“No, it’s not drugs,” I say, looking helplessly at Shaun. “Can I? Am I allowed to?”
Shaun shakes his head. “Sorry, Sces. You’re gonna need to use your compulsion.”
Compulsion. All fae have compulsion, but it only works on humans, except kindreds. Though I really don’t have much practice. “Evan, can you?”
Evan takes a step forward, but Simon looks pleadingly at me. “Pisces, what the fuck are you talking about? What’s going on?”
Before I can answer, Benny comes speeding back into the church, stopping right next to Simon. “Hey, who’s this?” he asks, a friendly smile on his face.
Simon yelps, having seen a blur coming straight at him. “What the fuck?”
“Simon, it’s okay,” I say, going to my cousin’s side. “This is Benny, he’s a friend of mine.”
“He’s the fucking Flash,” Simon breathes, looking wide-eyed at Benny and then back to me. His face screws up in confusion. “Is it drugs, or are you some sort of superhero?”
“Neither,” I respond, looking again at Shaun for help.
He’s already seen Benny, but any one of the guys could make Simon forget that pretty easily.
Simon glares at me, and I find I can’t help but glare back. “Pisces, seriously, tell me what the fuck is going on.”
“I can’t!” It takes everything in me not to scream. Fuck, this isn’t supposed to be how things went. How did Simon even find me? He’s supposed to think I’m dead, so no one will look for me. I need to keep my family safe. I’ve fucked up again.
“You need to come back with me,” Simon says, grabbing my arm and trying to pull me out of the church. “I don’t know what these guys got you messed up in, but I’m getting you out.”
I dig my feet in. “No.” I rip my arm out of his grasp. “I’m here because I want to be.”
“You can’t mean that. Look at this place. It’s a dump!”
“Hey!” Evan quips, then adds under his breath, “The other wing is actually quite nice.”