Chapter Thirty-Two
PISCES
“Well, that was all sorts of fucking weird,” Simon says. We all sit around the living room of our rental. It’s almost exactly the same as the one Goddess’ Trance is in, just mirrored.
Evan sits on an overly plush green sofa, his back straight, his whole body stiff. His anger is wafting off him in waves and he looks pale and drained, like he’s seen a ghost.
Simon looks between Evan, Shaun, and me. Benny must be upstairs.
“Someone want to explain what just happened?” Simon prods. He looks at me and I shrug.
He turns to Shaun, who gives him an incredulous look. “I wasn’t even there. How would I know?”
“What would have Evan this pissed off?” I ask Shaun. Even if Shaun wasn’t there, he has insight into Evan that the rest of us don’t. He thinks for a moment, eyes wandering from Evan to mine.
“His family, for starters,” Shaun supplies. Evan glances at him but still doesn’t speak.
Shaun considers something for a few moments longer. Suddenly his eyes go wide. “No…” is all he says.
“No what?” Benny asks, coming to sit next to me, snuggling closely, a yawn escaping him. I wrap an arm around him and he curls into me more. I can feel my jaw aching, my siren teeth wanting to push through my gums and bite into him, but I focus harder on Evan as he shifts uncomfortably.
After a long pause, Shaun finally says, “He’s found his mate.”
Benny jumps up in surprise, letting out a little whimper.
“Isn’t that a good thing?” Simon asks.
A pang of jealousy surges through me. What I wouldn’t do for a true mate bond.
And here Evan is furious that he’s found her.
I understand his reasons. His family wants him to be bonded so he can take over as heir, but everything Evan chooses to do is the opposite of what his family wants.
Amelia looked furious as well. Weird that both of them would reject something that I so ache to have.
“No,” Shaun says simply in answer to Simon’s question.
“I don’t get it. Amelia’s beautiful and talented,” Simon presses. “I thought Born fae mates are supposed to fall madly in love with each other.”
“It’s not that,” Shaun says as Evan gets up off the couch, mumbling about how he needs to be alone. I can’t help but glare at his back, as his tall form slowly disappears up the stairs. I wish I was in his position. I wouldn’t waste it.
“It’s his family,” Benny supplies when Shaun doesn’t continue. He explains in detail to Simon why Evan has never, ever wanted a mate.
As Benny goes into the story again, the one I’ve already heard, I find my anger dissipating.
It’s not Evan’s fault that I can’t have what I want.
And it’s not like if he wasn’t mated to Amelia that I would have been.
And I wouldn’t even want to be mated to her specifically, not that there’s anything wrong with her.
I just wish I was worthy of being mated to someone.
“How did they find out they were mates?” Simon asks, but just as Benny is about to start explaining, Simon’s phone rings. I consider asking Benny to explain it to me instead. How do Born fae know? Is it a smell? Is it an aura? Something they just sense?
I’ve never asked before, because my jealousy has always been too much.
I realize it doesn’t matter, because however Born fae figure it out, it’s not like if I know, suddenly it’ll make it so that Made fae can get mates too.
Benny and Shaun head into the kitchen to grab some snacks. I know Evan wants to be alone, but my feet take me to his room of their own accord. I hesitate and knock softly on his door.
“Yeah?” he mutters.
I push open the door, pausing in the doorway and looking at him sprawled out on his bed, shoes still on. They hang over the edge of the bed. He just watches me as I stand there trying to figure out what to even say to him.
“I’m jealous of you,” I finally say, staring guiltily at my feet. “I was mad at you for a few minutes there.”
He huffs. “I never wanted to have a mate. She’ll just end up being another pawn for my parents to control.”
“She didn’t look happy to find you either, so can’t you just not bond?” I remember Shaun saying something once about how the bond isn’t official until a couple has sex.
“We can try,” Evan says. “But it’s hard. If we resist, the stars will just keep throwing us together till we finally give in.”
“If anyone can tell the stars to get fucked, it’s you,” I say, waving a hand at him.
He barks out a laugh, but it’s hollow.
We fall silent.
After a moment, Evan sits up on the bed and beckons me closer with his pointer finger. I finally step fully into the room and go to stand in front of him.
“Sces, can you take my mind off this?” He reaches out and grips my hand. “I need to feel pain. Something to ground me besides this anger.”
I tilt my head to the side. “I don’t think I should do that.” I lift a finger to his chin and bring his gaze to mine. I hold out my arm, covered in thin little scars. “Trust me, it doesn’t help.”
His gaze is hard as he unbuttons his shirt and slips it off, revealing his pale smooth torso beneath.
“I don’t care right now. Feed on me,” he says, pulling me forward so I’m forced to kneel between his legs on the mattress.
He leans back and I hover over him, my siren teeth pushing through my gums despite my reluctance.
But I’m starving since denying myself a bite of Bliss the night before.
Evan grins at me, running his hand down the center of my chest, fingers playing over my shirt. I pull it off to save it from getting blood on it, since Evan won’t be able to clean it right away with his magic after I feed from him. I push myself on top of him as he settles back into the pillows.
Pillows that are about to be splattered with his blood.
I tear into his shoulder first, the smoky scent of him filling my nose, while the spicy copper of his blood floods my mouth.
I rip pieces of him out and he groans in pain, his face a grimace, his teeth clenching together.
I have enough control that I can pepper kisses on his flesh as I continue to maul him, trying to soothe the sting and pain a little, but I know it doesn’t help much.
He cradles the back of my head, encouraging me to keep going.
“Take everything you need,” he hisses out between bites.
So I do. I eat until I feel completely full. In my post-feasting haze, I curl up next to Evan, licking a bit of blood off his chest as I snuggle into him. I can still hear his heart beating nice and strong, so I fall asleep next to him, completely content.
“Well, I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little jealous,” Benny says from the doorway of the bedroom. I ease my eyes open and stare at him, noting Evan’s scent enveloping me. “You sure did a number on him, Sces.”
I grimace and look over at Evan. He’s started to heal, but he needs warmth to help recharge his powers. The bed is covered in his blood and it’s dried around my mouth.
“You clean yourself up. I’ll make sure he gets warm enough to heal.”
I crawl out from Evan’s side, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He smiles faintly, like he’s somewhere nice in his dreams, but he continues to sleep peacefully. I get it now. My feeding off him put him to sleep, where he can escape his real world problems.
“Sces, use me next time, okay?” Benny says as I pass him in the doorway. “I don’t like seeing him like this.”
“I don’t like seeing any of you like this,” I mutter. I try to leave, but Benny grabs my arm.
“You know we don’t judge you for this. It’s your nature. It’s who you are, and we love you.”
“Even if I’m a Made monster?” I try to say the words jokingly, but it falls flat, serious.
“If you’re a monster, then so am I,” Benny says with a shrug.
“Doesn’t it bother you that we don’t get to have mates? Why did the stars do that to us? Are we really that bad?” The questions pour out, even though I don’t mean to voice them.
Benny forces a smile. “Just because we don’t have a magical mate bonding ceremony, doesn’t mean we can’t fall in love. And hey, I have you all, and for now that’s enough for me. Now go shower. You’re making me hungry.” He eyes the blood and I turn and look at Evan again.
“Will you be okay with him like that?”
Benny nods but swallows thickly.
“Feed from me?” I hold out my arm.
He eyes me like I’m the most delicious snack and nods. “Later, though. I want to make sure he’s good.”
With that, Benny heads through the door, closing it behind him as I walk a bit unsteadily into the hallway. I almost feel drunk off the power Evan has given me.
Shaun and Simon are downstairs still after I’ve cleaned myself up. I pull the hoodie hanging off the back of the couch as I pass it. It’s my last one. If Bliss needs any more, I’ll have to go buy another one.
I smile to myself as I recall her face after I whispered those words to her. She turned bright pink to match the new pink ribbon in her hair. Her mouth opened in a small gasp and I couldn’t help but think of how she’d come undone for me the day before.
I groan internally as I realize that will never happen again. For one, I’ve been such a prick to her, and two, she’ll probably find her mate soon, if she hasn’t already.
My sour mood turns even worse. I decide to go walk around the festival. Shows won’t start for a few more hours yet, but I want to grab a snack and just get out of the house for a bit.
Most of the festival goers are in all black from head to toe. Each flash of colorful clothing immediately catches my attention, and each time it’s not a curvy petite woman with a ribbon in her caramel-brown hair, I feel both relieved and disappointed.
But it’s not like I won’t see her again.
Goddess’ Trance is coming on tour with us in a few months. And she is their band manager. I try to quash the excitement that springs up in my chest, because even though she’s been wearing two of my hoodies, she’s not mine and she never will be.
Do I even want her to be?
Maybe I’m just obsessing over her because she’s a gorgeous succubus.
I turn down into the grassy little area near the maze. It’s pretty quiet, not too many people around.
I pause, because there, under the shade of a large tree, sitting on a picnic blanket, are Grim and Bliss.
And he’s kissing her.