Chapter Fourteen Lyra
I’m going to fight Mandy.” Sloane pretended to throw a punch and almost knocked her cocktail off the bar.
Liam caught the drink neatly with one hand, while finishing his pour of a Guinness with the other.
“Well done,” Raven said, her cheeks pinkening when Liam winked at her.
I’d all but run out of Mystic Munchies as soon as filming had wrapped for the day, ignoring Marcie’s calls to come back. I didn’t want to tell her that my magick wasn’t working. I didn’t want to tell anyone that I was a failure.
I’d made it clear enough, hadn’t I?
“Tell me, again, how you kept slingshotting yolks into your hands?” Nova squinted at me, confused.
“I have no clue, Nova.” I sighed and took a sip of my pink gin and lemonade. “It was like they were determined to go anywhere but in the bowl.”
“And they just…” Nova splayed her hand out.
“Yup. Dripped right through my palms.”
Nova slapped a hand to her face, but not before a giggle escaped.
“Don’t you dare,” I hissed.
“I’m sorry… I just…” Nova hiccupped, and Sloane punched her shoulder.
“Knock it off, Nova.”
“I’m trying,” Nova said, but still her shoulders shook with laughter. “It’s just… eggs are so gross. Like the consistency, you ken?”
Despite my embarrassment, I could smile.
“She’s not wrong. It was super gross. And I had to keep dumping them in the bin and trying to wipe up the mess while Rab looked at me like I was doing this on purpose or something.”
Sloane, Raven, and Nova had met me at the Rune & Rose directly after filming, when Liam had called them for emergency support.
I hadn’t said a word to Liam, no matter how many times he’d tried to get me to talk.
Liam was friends with Rab—the enemy—and I certainly wasn’t going to dump my sorrows on him.
“I can’t believe Rab is doing the show,” Liam said, sliding me a fresh drink. “I lucked out. Knox tried to guilt me into doing it, but I told him there was no way in hell.”
“You’d look great on camera, though,” Raven offered shyly.
“I don’t know about that,” Liam said, ducking his head. “But I do know that I’m no chef.”
“Apparently, neither am I,” I said morosely, and dropped my chin into my hand. All I could see was Rab’s surprised look when he learned that I’d failed my finals.
“Lyra’s nothing special. She’s just a pretty face.”
The memory of his words that awful day burned through me, and I took a gulp of my fresh drink.
“Whoa, tiger,” Sloane said, leaning over and sliding the drink farther out of my reach. “You’ve still got to film tomorrow, and I guarantee you don’t want to be hungover.”
“She’s not wrong. You’re so bitchy when you’re hungover,” Nova agreed.
“I’ve had one drink,” I pointed out, annoyed with her. “That does not a hangover make.”
“No, but if you don’t eat anything and sleep shitty, it’s only going to add up.” Raven dug into her satchel and pulled out a small pouch. “Here. A tea to refresh you in the morning.”
“Thanks, Raven.” She’d always been closer with Sloane growing up, but since we’d been home, our friendship had grown. As owner of the apothecary, Raven vacillated between fun friend and de facto healer as needed.
“I still can’t get over that Mandy was there,” Sloane mused.
“Oh, sure, that’s what we’re going to focus on? Not the fact that I’ve been paired with Rab and my magick is falling apart?” I glared at Sloane and she shrugged.
“I feel like we’re easing you into that.” Sloane patted my arm. “Just gotta lube you up a bit first.”
Liam coughed and turned away, and I raised my head to level a look at Sloane.
“What?” Sloane asked innocently, and I sighed.
“Liam?” Raven asked sweetly, and Liam turned back, his eyes soft for Raven.
“Aye?”
“Go away, please.”
Liam’s face fell, and Raven laughed. “Sorry, this is a chat for us ladies. We can’t gossip if you’re listening in.”
“I would never repeat what I hear.” Liam held a hand to his heart.
“Lies.” Nova laughed. “You’re best mates with Rab. Go away.”
“Fine, fine,” Liam grumbled and moved to the other side of the bar. The pub was busy tonight, with many of the crew from the set grabbing food and after-work drinks.
“Lyra, darling, I say this with the utmost love in my heart for you, but”—Sloane reached over and grabbed both my hands, forcing me to look her in the eyes—“the time has come to tell us what happened with Rab. Nova and I have always respected your privacy on this matter, but we can’t help you if we don’t know what happened. ”
My throat tightened. I hated thinking about it. I hated going back to that moment, standing with my back pressed against the house, my teeth sinking into my fist as I blinked back the tears that flooded my eyes.
But Sloane was right.
Maybe teenage Lyra couldn’t talk about it.
But twenty-five-year-old Lyra could.
“Lyra’s nothing special. She’s just a pretty face.”
I hadn’t left that day. Instead, I’d pressed myself against the house, listening to Rab’s conversation through the window he’d left open.
And as the storm had blown in, his words had shattered me like the thunder exploding in the sky above.
I’d raced home in the rain, determined to never think of Rab again, and when morning came and our mum had loaded our suitcases in the car, I’d never looked back.
“I was stupid enough to think what we had was real.” I shrugged and brushed off Sloane’s hand when she reached for me again. “It’s fine. It was a long time ago.”
“It’s not fine, though,” Nova said. “It was a foundational part of your life, Lyra. He was, like… your whole world. You were devastated when we left. You didn’t speak for almost a month—do you remember?”
I nodded, my mind flashing back to burrowing silently into the back seat of a car, watching city after city flash past the window outside, numb with grief.
“Just teen hormones, I guess.” I shrugged. Again.
“I disagree.” Raven leaned forward, her face earnest. “I hate when people dismiss your feelings as a teenager as not real or valid. Just because we’re experiencing roller-coaster hormones doesn’t mean that what we feel isn’t real.
If anything, I argue that we should go back to that more.
We spend so much time as adults dulling our emotions, and I don’t think that’s a valid response either. ”
It was the first time I had heard someone speak about teenage emotions in such a way, and I blinked at Raven in surprise.
“You know, she’s right. I guess I didn’t think much about it, at least not in that manner, but when we talk about what Mum and Dad put us through?
” Sloane tapped a fist to her chest. “I feel it. Like I still feel it deeply. I’m sorry, Lyra.
I’m sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell us what happened then. Do you think you can now?”
And so I did. I poured it all out, pushing down the tears that threatened because I refused to be seen crying in public after my disastrous day of filming.
“I know I was young”—I lifted my head and leveled a look at Sloane, needing her to believe me—“but I was ready to leave with him. Do you understand? I’d put some money aside.
I had a bag packed with just the necessities.
All my paperwork. I was ready to go. Nothing mattered, so long as I could be with him. ”
“What a coward,” Nova broke out, her face twisted in anger. She slapped a palm on the bar. “To just capitulate to what his parents wanted? What a fucking joke of a man.”
“Is now the wrong time to come back over here?” Liam asked.
“Aye,” we all shouted at once, and Liam threw up his hands in protection and disappeared back to the other side of the bar.
“Sixteen is still young,” Raven mused. “Maybe we should give him some grace. It’s a big deal… running away with your younger girlfriend. Illegal, actually. Not only were you going to both lie to your parents, but you would also be breaking the law. It’s a big decision.”
“He didn’t even try,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut and taking a deep breath. “I thought he was… different than that. Stronger. And he just… gave up. I heard him. He said… I wasn’t anything special. Just a pretty face.”
“Oh,” Nova breathed, her eyes flying to my face. “Ohhhh. Is that why you hated when people called you pretty? Remember that, Sloane?”
“I do.” Sloane turned to Nova. “It took us a good few years to build your confidence back up.”
I squirmed on my stool, feeling exposed in a way that wasn’t very comfortable for me.
“Which, if I do say so myself, I think we did a great job at that.” Nova patted her shoulder, and despite my awkwardness with this conversation, I laughed.
They weren’t wrong. Once I’d hit eighteen, I’d blossomed, embracing my looks and my curves, moving through the world unapologetically.
The confidence had caused a dramatic shift in my life, and that was when I’d really started dating again.
And I’d thrown myself into the dating pool with a vengeance.
But I always kept it light.
My lovers always knew the score going in. I wasn’t going to stay long, always moving on, and I embraced the life of being sought after and savored but never held on to for long. It suited me, or at least that was what I’d told myself, until I returned home.
And had seen Rab again.
Now I turned all of my energy to building my career, trying to reconnect and rebuild the relationship with my father, and making friends in Briarhaven.
I’d been on a yearlong publicity tour, determined to win everyone in Briarhaven over, because I had known that as soon as our curse surfaced again, goodwill would go a long way toward smoothing any animosity toward our wee family.
“Anyhoo, so here we are. Paired up and both of us miserable.” I shrugged.
“But why is he miserable?” Raven wondered.
“What?” I said, confused.
“Like, I get why you’re mad… anybody would be if they heard the love of their life speak about them that way. But why is he mad at you?”
“I… I…” I tilted my head, screwing my face up as I thought about it. “Actually, I don’t know. I just thought he was mad because I’d left and hadn’t contacted him since.”
“But if he didn’t care about you, then he would have gotten over it, right?” Sloane wondered, nodding at Raven. “You’re onto something here.”
“Something’s off. We’re missing something.”
“Well, whatever it is, it hardly matters now,” I said forlornly. “That ship has sailed. What matters is how I’m going to get through the rest of filming without making a laughingstock of myself.”
“It’s okay that you started poorly,” Nova reassured me, raising her pint in my direction. “Everyone loves a redemption arc. They’ll root for you.”
“Or delight in my downfall.” I sucked an ice cube into my mouth and chewed, trying to figure out how I was going to fix my magick.
“So you make Mandy the villain.”
We all swiveled to look at Nova.
“What?” Nova asked, leaning back.
“Why would we make her the villain?”
“Because viewers love someone to hate. And if you don’t want it to be you, you’d better get someone else on the chopping block.”
“I don’t… I don’t want to villainize Mandy. She’s finally come out of hiding,” I said. No, making an enemy of Mandy was not the way forward. “This might be something that’s really good for her.”
“She seemed to have no problem gunning for you, though,” Sloane pointed out, going into mama bear mode. She’d always been fiercely protective of us.
“She’s hurting. It’s fine.” I held my hands up. “I’m not worried about Mandy. What I am worried about is my magick failing on television. And working with Rab.”
“It sounds like he didn’t have any clue what he was signing up for. Maybe you should go talk to him. Outside the show. Perhaps you could find a way to work together? At least for the next couple of weeks as they film,” Raven said, and I looked blankly at her.
“Talk to him?” I repeated.
“Aye, you know, like adults. You’re both in this together now. Maybe you could ask him for help?” Raven asked, her voice soft.
“Ask him for help?” For some reason, my brain just couldn’t wrap around this idea of going to Rab and talking to him about my problems.
“It’s not the worst idea, Lyra.” Sloane nodded in agreement.
“When would I talk to him?” I asked. There were so many people buzzing around the set that there was no way I’d be able to speak freely to him without tipping off one of the producers that I was in trouble.
“Now?” Raven looked out the window. “I mean, it’s not super late. You could just go talk to him.”
“Och, what are we going to do about this darkness?” Sloane hissed, changing the subject as my mind whirled.
I could just go talk to him.
Why hadn’t that occurred to me before? Because I did want to know… Why was he so angry with me?
“Will we still have the Halloween party this year?” Raven asked.
“I hope so. It was very popular last year.” Sloane had a determined look on her face. “I don’t see any reason why the darkness should deter people.”
“Well, we know why you liked it,” Nova said, reminding Sloane of how her misfiring magick had exploded glitter all over the party while she’d been snogging Knox in the back room.
“Wheesht,” Sloane hissed.
But I’d stopped listening. All I could think about was going to talk to Rab. Taking one more sip of my drink for courage, I slid off my stool.
“I’m going,” I whispered.
“And…” Sloane paused and narrowed in on me. “Wait, what? You’re going?”
“Aye, I’m going. Now, before I lose courage.”
“Go get ’em.” Nova punched me.
“Need a ride?” Sloane asked, worry dancing across her face.
“No, I need to walk. Can you take Ruth home, though? She’s sleeping in my bag. I guess the chaos of the show was pretty tiring for her today.” I nodded to my tote.
“On it.” Sloane stood and gave me a hug, and then I slipped out into the cool night air before I could second-guess what I was doing.