Chapter 13
Everything was For Her
Wide brown eyes swept over Nikhail’s. Warmth curled in his stomach as he reached out, steadying River’s shoulders.
Something inside him that had been tight for days loosened when he touched her. By the Blessed Black Sands, it felt good to be close to River again. To see her and touch her, knowing that she was here, with him.
“Nik?” A V formed between River’s brows. “What are you doing in front of the women’s restroom?”
That was a good question. A fair one, with an uncomplicated answer.
When he was sure River wouldn’t fall over, he released her shoulder and cupped her cheek.
“I was worried about you,” he said, running his thumb down her cheek. She leaned into his touch and sighed. The lovely, soft sound reverberated through his mind and drew him in. He yearned to hear her make that sound again, in another setting, when they were alone.
“You were?” she asked.
How could he not be?
Watching River grieve publicly, knowing he couldn’t go to her, had been one thing. It had been another matter entirely when she’d raced out of the ballroom as though her heels were on fire.
Nikhail had gone after River the moment that Evan Reynolds, another member of the Representative’s security team, had arrived for his shift.
“Of course, I was.” He’d always worry about her.
River licked her lips as she surveyed him. Unable to stay away, Nikhail stepped closer to River, not that there was much room between them to begin with.
“What happened?” he asked.
River didn’t say anything.
With every moment that passed in silence, fresh worry bloomed in Nikhail’s stomach. He took her hand in his, uncaring that they were in public. Nor did he care that even though his shift was over, technically, he was still here as a soldier and on the job.
Nothing mattered right now except River.
He drew her to a nearby alcove with a window seat. The glass was tinted, made from top-of-the-line material that was safe for all creatures who called the Republic of Balance their home, including vampires.
Nikhail tugged River down, their legs pressing against each other as they shared the too-small seat. Heat coursed through Nikhail from that small bit of contact.
“Did someone hurt you?” Nikhail asked when he couldn’t bear the silence any longer.
He’d kept an eye on River throughout the service, but maybe he’d missed something. If that was the case, he would find whoever had done this and make them pay.
“No,” she said quietly. “Nothing like that.”
“Then what?”
As she so often did when she was nervous, River drew her bottom lip into her mouth, gnawing on her piercing.
Nikhail didn’t hesitate. He reached up and tugged her lip free, rubbing his thumb along it.
River inhaled, and their gazes locked. He could lose himself in this, in her.
Worlds were contained in her eyes. Storms. But also…
pain. Grief and agony swirled in the depths of those beautiful orbs, and his heart ached at the sight.
If Nikhail could, he would remove everything that was hurting River. Shield her from agony and torment and protect her from dangers large and small.
Doing so would be his honor.
“What happened, little storm?” he asked again. “You can tell me.”
River blinked slowly, twisting her fingers in her lap. Her gaze shuttered, and when it met his again, the light in it had dimmed. Not by much—someone else might not have noticed—but Nikhail saw it, and his heart knotted.
“I just… realized something,” she whispered.
“What?”
River licked her lips. “My mother... She…”
Her voice trailed off, and a growl rumbled through Nikhail’s chest. He couldn’t help it. It didn’t matter that Tertia Waterborn was a government official or that he was temporarily on her protection detail; he hated the Representative for the way she made her daughter feel.
“What did she do?” His voice was rough, but he didn’t care.
“She didn’t really do anything,” River said after a moment.
“Then what is it?” Whatever the problem was, if it was within his power to fix it, he would.
He was finding that he would do anything for River.
His water fae twisted, her knee brushing his. Facing the window, she placed a palm on the frosted glass and peered outside.
Another long beat of silence passed. Gods above, he was starting to dread the silence. It was making everything even worse.
“My mother hates me, Nik.” Agony wove through River’s words, a tapestry of pain. “She has for as long as I can remember. And for the life of me, I never understood why she felt this way. What I’d done to deserve such a gods-awful fate.”
Her words were sharp knives, slicing into Nikhail’s battered heart.
“A mother who despises her own daughter.” River laughed, the frigid sound lacking all emotion. Utterly unlike the powerful, wild woman she usually was. The cold sound hurt even more than her words. “Let’s just say, I figured it out.”
“Figured what out?” he asked after a moment.
Another beat passed. There was no peace or tranquility in this silence. Tense, the quiet was a pressing weight, unable to be ignored.
“I know why she hates me,” River whispered hoarsely.
She ran her fingers along the hem of her black dress, smoothing out invisible wrinkles.
“The knowing hurts, Nik. It’s so much more painful than before because there’s a part of me that understands where she’s coming from.
I hate that even after everything she’s done to me, I can empathize with her. ”
Nikhail wasn’t sure what River was referring to, but that didn’t matter. He took River’s hand, cupping it between both of his. Her shoulders tensed, but she didn’t look up.
“River. Look at me.” He waited for her to obey, and when she did, he bit back a curse. The torment he saw had him wanting to murder the Representative. “Your mother is a gods-damned fucking fool.”
She sucked in a breath. “What?”
“Your mother’s hatred and her feelings—unjustified though they are—are not your problem or your concern. You cannot bear the weight of her feelings any more than you can change them, River. She alone is responsible for them.”
“But, Nik—”
“No, Princess. You can’t change my mind on this.
You are marvelous.” He would never cease to be amazed at how extraordinary River was.
“If your mother cannot see that, it is entirely her fault. You cannot change the way she feels about you any more than you can command a ruby to be any color but red.”
River breathed his name and, gods. He would never tire of hearing it coming from her lips.
Nikhail drew her closer, resting his forehead against hers.
For a long moment, neither of them moved.
They simply… existed. Together. There was a peace inside Nikhail that expanded the longer they stayed there, sharing the same air.
“I don’t really care why your mother hates you, River, because she doesn’t know you,” he murmured. “And that is, and always will be, her loss.”
“Is it, though?” she said sadly.
“Absolutely.” He’d never felt more convinced about anything in his life. “She’s missing out, because you, River Emeline Waterborn, are the most incredible woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.”
Then, because he couldn’t seem to help himself, he kissed her.
Nikhail had meant for it to be a gentle brushing of their lips, nothing more. A reminder that he was here for River. But then, she moaned softly into his mouth.
The sound was his undoing.
He forgot about their surroundings, the rebel threat, and even the fact that he and River still hadn’t told anyone about them.
He just knew that he had to hear that sound again.
Nikhail pulled River closer, until she was sitting on his lap, her legs dangling over his, and kissed her again. Harder. Their lips fused together, desperate.
River clutched at the lapels of his suit jacket, holding him close. As if she needed him as much as he needed her.
That fueled the fire inside him.
Nikhail slipped his hand around the nape of River’s neck, holding her to him. He tasted her. Groaned. Then tasted her again. With every pass of his lips against hers, every moment that went by, contentment welled within him.
Gods above, this.
This was the reason Nikhail was here. The reason he’d been working eighteen-hour days. The reason he couldn’t find it in himself to care about anything else.
River crammed his senses, and Nikhail had never been happier.
Time was a loose concept as they kissed like it was the only thing keeping them alive.
In the back of Nikhail’s mind, he realized he should probably be paying attention, but how could he stop?
This was all he wanted, all he’d dreamed of.
How could anything else matter right now, when River was kissing him like she was on the verge of floating away, and he was the only thing keeping her grounded?
Nikhail’s tongue was tangling with River’s when there was a prodding in his mind. A warning, from his magic.
Pay attention.
Then, there were footsteps.
Even though it pained him, Nikhail drew back. He released his hold on the back of River’s neck. River’s face drained of color, a feat considering that she’d already been pale, as she looked over Nikhail’s shoulder.
“What the fuck?” The words, a low growl that would’ve sent a lesser being running, came from behind Nikhail.
Shit.
Nikhail didn’t need to turn around to know who was standing behind him. Especially since, despite the fact that the sky was clear and winter had firmly set in, thunder roared outside the window a heartbeat later.
“Oh, no,” River whispered. She slipped off Nikhail’s lap, her gaze darting between Nikhail and the powerful fae behind him. As if she couldn’t decide who to look at first.
“It’s okay,” Nikhail murmured. The looming presence at his back grew larger with each passing second. His magic swirled in his veins, admonishing him to pay attention. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’ll deal with him.”
Another roll of thunder.