18. Celeste
Chapter 18
Celeste
Me
Caleb has a daughter? WTF!
Saar
Sorry, it wasn’t my story to tell. Have you met her?
Me
Yes.
Saar
I haven’t.
Me
Shit. He struggles with his role in her life.
Saar
He struggles with our father’s role in her life.
Me
That’s not Mia’s fault.
Saar
Protecting your stepdaughter already:-)
Me
Don’t joke, he treats her like she’s here to con him.
Saar
We don’t know what her intentions are. He’s being cautious.
Me
God, you’re all fucked up.
Saar
I told my therapist to send his bill to my parents.
Me
(kiss emoji) That sounds fair.
A nd yet you didn’t stop me.
I’ve been up for a while, but I can’t muster the will to get out of my bed. Caleb thinks I unleashed the animal in him, but he was right. I never stopped him.
I never stopped him.
There were parts of me screaming to run to safety, to behave, to protect myself. But equally loud—no, louder—was a wild part in me Caleb found and released.
A part I didn’t even know I had.
Dark.
Spellbound.
Raw .
Perhaps I’m a dancer because there’s an exhibitionist in me. Perhaps the pent-up sexual tension between us had to erupt just like this.
And perhaps this is what I haven’t discovered about myself before. I enjoy sex with a side of danger. Not physical danger, but danger nevertheless.
What if Mia had walked out of her room? Jesus. Uneasiness swirls in my stomach, bidding its way to my conscience. The girl doesn’t need more emotional scars than she already has.
But she didn’t. Nothing bad happened. Nobody discovered us. Our twisted liaison was… ours.
It leaves me with a smile lingering on my face. Caleb van den Linden knows his way around a woman’s body. To think I judged him for his man-whore ways, only to realize that reaping the benefits of his experience is the next level of bliss.
I avoided sex with him because I feared the next morning, and how we would live together for months after we succumbed to our attraction.
Now, as the sun shines through the windows, coloring the new day warm and vibrant, the only thing I fear is that he got fully sated and won’t be interested in me again.
I only had a brief, clandestine, stolen taste of Caleb van den Linden, and I need more. Even if that means I’ll get hurt .
Because let’s face it, the opposite scenario isn’t in the cards. The man doesn’t want marriage—a real one—or children. At least not more than he already has.
He doesn’t want a monogamous future. Or a committed relationship. He’s not husband material and, color me na?ve, but I still believe in happily ever after.
And still, I can’t drop it. Not just yet.
After my half-hour stretching routine, I shower and dress casually in a simple brown dress with a V neckline teasing my cleavage, a flared skirt, and a large satin ribbon at my waist. I comb my hair into a simple ponytail tied at my nape.
I don’t bother with makeup, since I don’t know what I’m doing today.
I can’t perform yet, so I have the day off. I hope to have plans with Caleb, but I don’t want to assume. If last night was the final destination for him, I’ll just go to Cora’s and avoid him until I shake it off.
Opening my door, I stop, surprised. Something—probably vanilla and definitely burned—permeates the air.
The scene I find in the kitchen downstairs is unexpected. And somehow endearing. Caleb—in his stupid low-hanging sweats—and Mia are making pancakes.
“Good morning. I didn’t know you could cook.” I lean in the doorway, grinning .
Mia snorts. “He can’t. I’m trying to teach him.”
Caleb shrugs, but doesn’t look at me. I guess that’s my answer. Last night was a one-off. I swallow my disappointment.
“What are you making?” I ask Mia, trying not to look at his ripped back while he dedicates unreasonable effort to washing a dish.
“Well, it should be pancakes.”
“Hey!” Caleb flicks water at her, and she jumps to the side.
The domestic scene warms my heart. The two of them bonding doesn’t match what he told me about their relationship yesterday.
The two of them bonding also makes me feel like a third wheel. I can’t even be jealous, because they have the right to spend the day together without my interference.
The two of them have the right. All I have is a memory of last night, and a bit of hope. One that dissipates with Caleb’s ignorance.
“Caleb made the batter before I came down, so—” Mia almost smiles as she pours the creamy liquid into the pan. “And he burned the first batch.”
Caleb finally turns off the faucet and wipes his hands. “The YouTube tutorial was shit.”
Our eyes meet, and his face hardens before he looks away. Yeah, I guess dealing with last night's conquest isn’t something he’s experienced before.
That’s what I deserve for giving in to stupid attraction.
“Does this look good to you, Celeste?” Mia doesn’t pick up on the energy between her father and me.
I approach the stove and peek over her shoulder. I’m pretty sure there is no way that the mass in the pan can turn into a pancake. “Well—”
She looks at me sideways. “I don’t think this is what a pancake should look like,” she murmurs.
“Fuck.” Caleb groans. “Let’s go out for brunch.”
I tense, unsure if the invitation extends to me as well. No way am I spending the morning with him. Nowhere close to him. I need time to lick my wounds and find my strength.
Because it’s one thing to hope he would want more and be disappointed, but I was also hoping that scratching the itch would clear the air between us. But as I feared, it only made the next almost three years feel even longer.
Mia turns off the burner and pushes the pan away. A moment of silence stretches as she lowers her head, her hair hiding her face while she pulls at the sleeves of her shirt.
Caleb shrugs with resignation on his face. And despite everything, I can’t help but interfere. They had such a good start, I won’t let them retreat into their shells.
“That’s a wonderful idea, Mia, isn’t it?” I wrap my arm around her shoulders, but she recoils and steps to the side.
“You don’t have to take me with you. I can stay here. Or I’ll go home.”
Oh, shit.
Caleb sighs. “Not taking you with us, Mia. Going together. Come on, I’d like to spend some time with you.” He puts his hands into his pockets, pleading.
Jesus. I wish he didn’t look this sexy.
“You do?” She frowns.
“Of course,” Caleb says, smiling hopefully.
Mia chews on her lip, looking at us through her tresses. “Okay. All three of us together.”
Caleb jerks his head to me. And I glance away. If I excuse myself, she might think I don’t want to spend time with her. Which is the last thing I want on her shoulders. It’s her father I don’t want to spend time with.
“All three of us, of course,” Caleb says, smiling at Mia, who relaxes visibly.
I can see how she’d feel more comfortable with someone else on their first outing together. So I put on a brave face.
“Great.” I smile at Caleb who looks somewhere between pleased, full-blown freaked out, and annoyed. “Mia, I need to do my makeup. Would you like me to help you with yours?”
Her eyes pop out. “Really?”
“Of course. Let’s go.”
Mia dashes to the staircase, and as I pass Caleb, he mouths a reluctant thank you .
And the hurt me can’t just let it slide, so I smirk at him. “We need pictures for my application.”
I trace my finger over the fine china, the taste of poached eggs lingering on my tongue, mingling with the hint of truffle in the hollandaise sauce. And a dollop of discomfort from my current company.
The restaurant exudes a sense of refined elegance, and it should make this moment feel wonderfully indulgent, but Mia has been obviously uncomfortable.
And Caleb has been trying too hard with her, and is even more aloof toward me. He’s behaving like I wronged him somehow.
A car stuck in traffic moves more smoothly than the conversation has gone at our table.
We sit by the window, the lazy weekend unraveling on the street. Mia excuses herself and runs to the bathroom .
Of course Caleb took us to a popular, upscale place, but I don’t think he realized the girl might be overwhelmed by the polished marble floors, the chic décor, and every other detail, including the delicate scent of blooming orchids in the middle of our table.
This place is amazing, but it’s not a family restaurant.
“Thank you.” Caleb takes a sip of his water, and I’m not even sure if I heard him right.
“Whatever for?”
“We wouldn’t be here without you. Mia doesn’t look thrilled, but she’s here, which is an improvement.”
His gaze focuses on the street. Like after last night, he can’t even look at me. I want to tell him his distance is unwarranted, and we can just pretend nothing happened.
I’m a big girl. I can protect my feelings and, as much as I wish for it, any commitment from his side isn’t expected. There’s no need to act like an asshole.
But then again, he always has. Unfortunately, this is not the time or place, so I push the feelings deeper and try to ignore the foul taste of this outing.
“I think this place is a bit…” I hesitate.
“You don’t like it?” He snaps his head to me. Oh, wow, now I got his attention?