Chapter 36 #2
I looked up, meeting Ellie’s gaze. “So do I,” I confessed.
“More than I’d like to admit. I also think about everything that happened after that summer…
with you and me…with Jack.” I paused, taking a moment to collect my thoughts.
“The truth is, Ellie … I never should have done what I did. Especially not to you. As much as I wanted you to be the villain, to have deserved what I did, I was wrong. You were only doing what you had to do because you were in love with Jack, the same as me.”
Ellie took a moment, letting my apology sink in. “I’m sorry, too,” she said, “for not taking your feelings into consideration. The way I acted when I came back for Clara’s funeral was unacceptable, and if I could do it all over again…”
I gave a dismissive wave. “It isn’t anything I wouldn’t have done,” I said, then laughed it off.
“I just wish I could have seen earlier how foolish I was all those years, for chasing Jack around, hoping beyond hope that he would have a change of heart and love me the way he loved you. And for a time, I thought I had that. But in the back of my mind, I always knew he still had feelings for you, still hoped that you’d come back. ”
Ellie’s eyes welled up with tears, and mine did the same.
Finally, Ellie spoke, a distant look in her eyes.
“I wish we could’ve understood each other better, back then.
Perhaps things wouldn’t have been so complicated, so fraught with hurt.
” She looked down at her glass, swirling the ice around as if it held some hidden answer.
“And Jack…he suffered the most. He didn’t deserve that. ”
“You’re right…” I nodded, my gaze faraway. “Jack was stuck in the middle of our chaos, like a ship between two storms.”
Ellie nodded, seeming to agree with my sentiment. She took a deep breath, then looked back up at me. “He loved us both, in his own way,” she admitted. “I think he just didn’t know how to handle it.”
“I suppose none of us did,” I replied, a sad smile playing on my lips.
In the seconds that followed, I realized something. We were no longer girls, but women carrying the weight of their own world's burdens.
After what felt like an eternity, Ellie placed her glass on the table and looked at me earnestly. “How different things might have been if we had made other choices.”
I nodded, my gaze dropping to her half-empty glass.
The ice had begun to melt, diluting the sweet tea.
I swirled my glass in my hand as I pondered Ellie’s statement.
“But we made the choices we thought were best at the time,” I said, the words heavy in the quiet room.
“And in the end, I’m satisfied with how things turned out. ”
Ellie gave a weak but understanding smile, nodding in agreement. A long silence stretched between us again, but this time it wasn’t an uncomfortable one. It was more like a mutual understanding, a shared acknowledgment of the past we could not change, only learn from.
My eyes met Ellie’s. Our reminiscing gaze held echoes of the past that still clung to us both. “I think it’s time we moved on, don’t you?”
She was silent at first, her eyes thoughtful as they continued to bore into mine. But then she nodded slowly.
“Yes,” Ellie agreed softly, the single word holding so much weight. “Yes, it is.” She raised her glass, the remaining liquid sloshing lightly against the edges.
I did the same, lifting my own glass. The clinking sound reverberated in the air around us, a symbol of something new, something hopeful. “To moving forward,” I proposed.
“To moving forward.”
We drank in unison, the sweet tea washing down our throats like a bitter-sweet memory. The sound of the glasses on the table seemed to echo the finality of our decision. It was time to move on, time to let go.
Suddenly, Ellie looked up at the clock, then back to me. “Did you want to see Jack? He should be home anytime now.”
“No,” I replied abruptly. I did not wish to see the man who had inadvertently caused so much turbulence in my life. It felt like opening an old wound, and I simply didn't have the strength to face him. “I mean, I would, but I need to be on my way.”
Ellie nodded, understanding the implied boundaries. “It was good to see you, Sara,” she said, standing up from her chair. The late afternoon sun was slanting through the lace curtains, casting a warm glow on her face and making her auburn hair shimmer. “And I mean that.”
I, too, rose from my chair and nodded, extending my hand. “It was good to see you too, Ellie.” Our hands met in a firm handshake, a final semblance of our shared past and the conclusion of a difficult conversation.
I moved toward the door, putting one foot in front of the other.
“He never forgot you,” she said as I reached for the knob.
I took a step, stopped, and turned back to her.
Our eyes locked, and I found myself lost in the depth of her gaze.
For a moment, I allowed myself to imagine an alternate reality where things had taken a different turn.
A reality where Jack and I were together, spared of the heartache I’d caused.
But that wasn’t our reality. We had chosen different paths, and this was where we ended up, back where we started.
I felt a pang at the thought of the what-ifs, the could-have-beens, but it quickly subsided as reality surfaced. “Neither did I,” I admitted, my voice heavy with emotion.
Ellie gave me a warm smile, and just as I was leaving, whispered, “Take care, Sara.” As I stepped out into the cool evening air, I felt a strange mixture of relief and sadness wash over me.
I turned to Ellie, giving her one last look that said more than words ever could—thanks for understanding, sorry for everything, take care.
Walking away from that house felt a little like walking away from a ghost. It was an echo of my past in the most tangible sense.
With each step, a weight lifted off my shoulders.
Perhaps it was the final acknowledgement of what had happened, or the catharsis of my confession, but I felt a sense of closure I hadn’t experienced before, like I had finally managed to put this whole nasty business behind me.
As I drove away, I glanced back one last time at the old house.
For years, it had been a symbol of my mistakes.
Now, it just seemed like an ordinary house, a monument to a time and place long gone.
And as its silhouette receded into the deepening dusk, a chill ran down my spine, a shudder of finality that seemed to whisper in the wind—it’s over now.