Chapter Twenty-Five Tranquility Estates, Vermont Present Day #2
The truth was, Scarlett wasn’t wrong about her.
Chrissie would never be the type of woman who made a lasting impression.
She could write out all the lists in the world and make all the viral videos she wanted, but there was no denying that she was happiest in her cat-pee-scented home with a home-cooked meal on one end of the table and her daughter busy doing homework on the other.
People would continue taking advantage of her good nature.
Stray teenagers in piano bars would continue to beg her to drive them across the country.
She’d grow and cut her hair in an endless cycle as a self-imposed penance for her brother’s death, and that was okay with her.
But no one—not even Scarlett—was going to hurt her baby.
“Their flight gets in tomorrow morning, so you’d better start planning what you want to say—and I can tell you right now that if it doesn’t include the words I, am, your, and mother, then you’ll be finishing your stay here without me.”
The color came rushing back to Scarlett’s face at such a rapid pace that Chrissie had to reach out and steady her.
“You can’t be serious, Chrissie. Why would I tell her that here? Now? We had a deal. You made a promise!”
“Yeah, well. I’m breaking it. Sue me.”
Scarlett was startled into a harsh laugh. “You can’t make me do anything.”
“No, I can’t. But I’m telling her the truth one way or another, so I’m giving you a chance to come clean first.” Chrissie blew out a long breath.
She’d known she had a battle on her hands, but she hadn’t realized how much it would cost to strike the killing blow against a woman who only had a few days left to live.
“You heard the things she said, Scarlett. About how her father and grandparents want nothing to do with her, about how the only person she has in her life is me. To her, that’s the reality she lives every day, but you and I both know that’s not true.
Whether you admit it or not, you’ve been there for her every step of the way. ”
“Please, Chrissie. I can’t.”
“You can, and you will. The last time you begged me like this was when you were giving birth to that child, and you managed to push her out just fine.” Chrissie had to bite down on her tongue to keep the sympathy from rising.
She needed to get through this while she still had enough anger in her heart to successfully pull it off.
“You made me write that stupid list for a reason, remember? You want me to learn to stand up for myself and put my own needs before other people’s, so I am.
It just so happens that the person I’m putting them in front of is you. ”
Scarlett opened her mouth and closed it again, her eyes so wide that Chrissie could see the map of red veins traveling across them. “Well, I’ll be damned.”
“I hope not. I’d very much like to see you again someday.”
Scarlett staggered back as though struck.
For the longest moment, Chrissie was afraid she’d overstepped some unknown boundary between them.
She stood by her decision to tell Kat the truth, and she refused to regret this new foray into self-assertion, but she desperately hoped it wouldn’t come at the cost of her best friend.
That was the one price she’d never been asked to pay before.
Which was why it came as such a surprise when Scarlett rushed into Chrissie’s arms.
“I don’t want to die,” she said on a sob.
Her whole body heaved as she gave herself over to the emotions flooding through her.
Even though Scarlett’s head was buried in her shoulder, Chrissie could hear each word as clearly as a bell being rung against her heart.
“I’m not finished yet. There’s so much I haven’t seen. So many things I haven’t done.”
Any remaining anger Chrissie might have felt toward her friend disappeared in that instant. She ran her hand over the short strands of Scarlett’s hair, the oversized sunglasses hitting the ground with the shatter of plastic.
“I know, sweetie. Shh. It’s okay. I know.”
Scarlett’s petite, emaciated body shook in her arms, the tears flowing so hot and fast that there was no containing them.
That, more than anything else, spoke to the despair that had so far remained unspoken between them.
In all their years of friendship—in good times and bad, in sickness and health—Scarlett had never cried like this before.
According to her, life was too short to waste on tears, and there was always something new and shiny around the corner.
She was right about that first part, but not the second. Once Scarlett turned that corner, there would be no going back again.
“It’s not fair,” Scarlett added, still clutching Chrissie as though she was the only thing keeping her standing.
Chrissie continued murmuring into Scarlett’s hair—nonsense words and maternal nothings, the same kind of thing she used to say to Kat when she fell down and scraped her knees on the playground—but then Scarlett spoke again.
“You’ve had to bury so many people already.
We keep leaving you behind to hold the pieces together without us.
And I’m so afraid that we’ll keep doing it until you finally shatter. ”
For the longest moment, Chrissie didn’t speak.
She couldn’t. Her whole life, she’d operated under the belief that Scarlett’s love for her—though deep—was selfish.
To love Scarlett Sanderson was to stand in her shadow.
Something bigger and brighter always loomed on her horizon, and the best you could hope for was to be standing in the right place when she moved enough to let the sunshine through.
But she’d been wrong. Scarlett wasn’t the gatekeeper of the sunshine. She was the sunshine.
“I’ll tell her anything you want,” Scarlett sobbed. She was too absorbed in her own grief to notice that Chrissie had gone perfectly still. “I’ll tell her everything. If it’s what you really want, I’ll move heaven and earth to make it happen.”