—70—
Taos, New Mexico
Dear Elsie,
Please reply to my letters. I know you are angry with Peter, and now with me, but I cannot bear not to know how you are.
Please write. Peter has written many times, and I do not know what to tell him.
I have not said that I know where you are, but I’m sure he knows.
Perhaps you could at least write to him.
He’s been moved to Kabul at his own request, where he says there is no drinking.
My husband has been poorly this summer. At first we thought it was only the heat (it is very hot in New Mexico at times) but I fear now it might be something worse.
Love,
Mother
October 1926
Dear Elsie,
I will not give up writing to you. I am sure you read my letters even if you do not respond. I beg of you, please forgive me, and let’s heal this breach. I feel quite alone without my connection to you, and have we not always shared in each other’s lives?
I have been ill with the Indian summer, a recurrence of malaria that surprised me.
My husband is rallying. They think it was a stomach ulcer, and after a few weeks of avoiding the very spicy food he loves, it seems to be healing.
I wish you would come visit. The two of you could talk about art all day and night, and we are friends with an entire coterie of artistic people. I have become quite the bohemian.
Tell me what fills your days, what you observe. Have you been to Nainital? How are Tanveer and his wife? Do you see Gurdaya at all? Does she have children?
Do you miss me at all? Please write.
Love,
Mother
November 22, 1926
Talwarpur Palace
Dear Mother,
Of course I miss you. I was just so very, very angry with you for believing Peter’s version of events so easily over mine.
You didn’t even ask which things might be true, or if I had important reasons.
You assumed. You took his part, and worried about your own financial situation rather than worrying about me.
But never mind that. I am very happy in India.
I will not be returning to Peter, whether he lives in Kabul or Cairo or the heart of London itself.
I have been painting more than I’ve painted in my life, and with Channan and Tanveer, I feel a sense of home and belonging that has escaped me since William died and we lost Herewich.
I am sorry to hear that you’ve been ill, and of course I worry. Will Garvey consider relocating to England for the sake of your health? I would think you miss the place, as much as you loved it.
My life is not a conventional one. I did try.
I hope this letter finds both you and Garvey much improved. Let me know where to write to you.
Love,
Elsie