—72—
London
Dear Elsie,
I have not heard from you for many months, but even in the absence of your letters, I must send you my news. My husband has died. His stomach ulcer was instead cancer, and I nursed him until his death two months ago.
I have no means of support, and have returned to London at Peter’s urging.
He is generously supporting me by buying a house near Russell Square where I know he hopes you will live with me eventually.
He has given up drink whilst in Kabul and is a much changed man.
He asked that I send this letter to you.
Please give him a chance, Elsie. I do fear what will happen to me if you continue to refuse his suit.
I truly have no one else. I cannot possibly come to you in India.
My health will not allow it, as you must know.
Please come home to England, my dear. I miss you terribly.
Love,
Mother
June 1927
Kabul
Dearest Elsie,
I know I do not deserve even the slightest sliver of your attention, but I hope you will read this letter and allow me to beg forgiveness.
I have been a beast, in the truest sense of the word.
I am abjectly sorry for the way I treated you in Cairo.
No one deserves such treatment, most especially one’s beloved wife.
I have worshipped you since the first moment I saw your face in that garden.
I suppose you were weeping then over hating England, and now you have been able to return to India.
I hope you have found some happiness there.
Your mother misses you most desperately.
I have put her up in a rather nice house in Bloomsbury, and she has two servants and an allowance I trust will see her through very well.
When I return to London, I shall also live there.
If you choose to return, I will not ever ask a thing of you, and you will have the entire top floor as your studio.
I only want time to make up to you what I stole.
I can best do that by showing my altruism around your mother.
I no longer drink spirits. Kabul has cured me of the habit, and I am a much improved version of myself.
As you know, it only darkened my moods, and I find it much easier to cope without the influence of gin.
If you find it in your heart to forgive your husband, I will not ask another thing.
Only come back to England and live with us, your mother and me. It would make her so happy.
Yours, always,
Peter
July 1927
Talwarpur Palace
Dear Mother,
I will not be returning to England. I am grateful to Peter for caring for you so thoughtfully, but our story is more complicated than you will allow.
India is my home. I will not leave it.
Love,
Elsie