18. Raea #2
He takes a seat behind his desk alongside my mother. She looks regal with her hair pulled up into a fancy display of braids and buns with ribbons that match her gown. Her eyes soften when she looks at me.
“We have much to discuss. First—” His face falls, and he pauses, glancing to my mother. “I want to explain something that has been bothering me for some time now. I believe it’s time to come clean.”
I sit straighter. My mother nods.
With a sigh, my father says, “We were all so terrified of you Bonding as children. It should have been impossible, yet—” He shakes his head. “You were already showing signs of something we couldn’t explain.”
Tension and fear wrap around my lungs, squeezing. “What did you do?” I whisper. I don’t know if I want the answer, but I need it. I already have an idea.
It’s my mother who says, “We blocked your memories.” She looks between Ryker and me. Ryker settles into the chair, an ankle propped up on his knee, his chin resting on a fist.
My father says, “We had too. King Aki was terrified and—” Shame fills his features. “It was wrong. We thought that once you were old enough, if the Bond was truly there, you’d find a way. So we kept you apart.”
A single tear streaks down my face as a horrified gasp escapes. “How could you?”
Ryker’s hand settles on my shoulder. “It’s okay.” He grabs my hand, lifting it to his mouth and places a soft kiss.
I shake my head. “What if we didn’t?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see my mother wiping away a tear.
“I’m sorry. To both of you,” my father says softly.
I sit there stunned for a long minute. I feel so betrayed. First by my best friend, now by my own parents. What if Ryker and I hadn’t ended up crossing paths? What if he hadn’t pushed so hard to be around me, slowly working himself into my very soul? Would he have Bonded with someone else?
My thoughts spiral even though I know, deep down, I know the truth is he has always been mine. Lumos Bond or not, it wouldn’t have mattered. No amount of time or distance would have prevented the inevitable.
Right?
A strange sense of loss settles over me while I feel the weight of all that could have been. I could have had him in my life, nurturing our Bond, our friendship, this entire time. I could have had years to love him.
The air in the room turns brittle as my magic spikes. “You stole pieces of my soul to keep your political peace?” I whisper, the gold in my eyes flaring.
My father doesn't look away, but my mother’s tears are a confession. They didn't just keep us apart—they tried to rewrite who we were.
“I want my memories back,” I grind out.
“They will come back, dear. After your Bonding Ceremony,” my mother says.
I want to yell at them about there being no Bonding Ceremony when Ryker squeezes my hand, drawing my attention to him. “What’s done is done. Your anger is justified, but love, I’m here even without the memories.”
More tears flood my eyes as my throat burns with emotion. Anger has always been my biggest vice, and right now, he’s right. I don’t want to say things I don’t mean out of anger and hurt, especially not with the war looming over us.
“Anything else?” Ryker asks my parents.
My father stands, hovering over his chair.
“With all that has transpired, I believe we need to move your Ceremony up yet again.” He glances past us, like he’s looking to the future.
Then his gaze settles on me, and I see the regret and apology.
“Your mother and I would like to host the Ceremony in two weeks. The war has brought a restlessness, and we need to get this out of the way. Prince Anders, I believe that gives you time to go home and get your affairs in order.”
Ryker nods while I hold my father’s gaze, a single tear escaping along with the rest of my anger.
My father must see it because he says, “Raea, my dear, once you two are Bonded, we will still need to have your wedding. Normally, the wedding would be a month later, but I don’t see the point in waiting, do you?”
“What if it doesn’t work?” I ask, voicing what I already know to be true.
My father offers me a small smile. “Optics, Raea. Like I said before, we already know how this both ends. And Elison has filled me in on all I need to know.”
I really wish my father would at least act like this is a big deal. He’s so nonchalant about the whole thing, which is so unlike him. He’s right, though. There is no point in waiting.
Ryker turns his head to me, waiting for my response. I clear my throat, shoving down the rest of my emotion to deal with later. “Yes, that’s fine. So the Ceremony and wedding are in the same week?” I clear my throat again.
Ryker takes my hand, interlacing my fingers with his, and I calm.
“Anders, do you think your mother is able to travel right now?” my mother asks.
“She will be elated and wouldn’t miss it. But, may I ask something?”
“Of course,” my mother responds.
Ryker looks to me as he says, “I’d really like to have the wedding on Malaya to help relieve some of the pressure with Kyrr taking on refugees. I know it’s customary to have a Ceremony on the bride’s planet, but there’s a lawn out front of the castle—”
“Oh, yes. It’s so beautiful. Would your mother be willing to host us?” my mother interjects.
Ryker nods. “It won’t be a problem.”
“Very well. In the meantime, there will be a lot of planning. Invitations need to go out for the wedding. We’ve invited forty gentlemen to the Bonding ball, aside from Kellan and Ryker, of course.
” My father stands and comes to the front of the desk.
“My girl, I am sorry this burden has fallen to you, but you will be a beautiful queen. I wouldn’t have parted so easily with you had it been anyone else. ”
Ryker squeezes my hand as I fight back tears.
“Now, before you two go, what are we going to do over the next two weeks to ensure that the pain you both try to hide so well doesn’t keep happening?”
I want to tell him it won’t matter, but proximity has eased it, at least for now. Ideas are thrown out about timing and distance. Ryker needs to go home, and I need to be here to get ready and fitted for gowns. Once we’re married, I will remain on Malaya with him.
After debating for a while, we decide that in three days' time, I will travel to Malaya. I will spend a few days there and then come home. After a few days, he will fly here and remain here until we leave together for Malaya. My mother hugs us both before we leave to get ready for dinner. The only thing that’s left is to talk to Kellan and Ciara and invite our friends.
I’m in the big library, curled up with one of my books, lost in thought about the memories I can’t access when Ryker enters, looking too gorgeous for his own good. His tall stature, dark hair, and blue eyes literally turn me to putty. He smirks, sitting at my feet and pulling them into his lap.
We’re both quiet, not needing words as we sit in silence with the weight. I know why my parents did it, but it still hurts, and I can’t help but feel angry at the loss. I wish I could have had more memories with him.
"They took our history, Ryker," I whisper, looking at the empty spaces in my mind where our childhood should be. "They stole years of our lives before we even had a chance to choose each other."
He leans forward, his thumb tracing the line of my jaw with a fierce intensity.
"Then we start now. Tonight. If they stole our past, we’ll reclaim it by building a future they can’t touch.
We make new memories, Raea. Starting with somewhere that belongs only to us.
” Ryker digs his thumb into my calf muscle, and I nearly moan.
Without saying anything, his lips quirk up.
“Wanna go somewhere with me?”
Maybe it's the romance book I've been reading, but I want to date him. I want to go out with him. I want to feel like a normal couple before we get married. Even if it’s only a few hours.
“Where do you want to go?”
I glance out over the darkening skies and decide I want off this island. There are too many eyes and distractions here. “To the west end of the colony. There’s a city there I'd like to show you.”
He nods and stands, holding out a hand for me. We alert Rune and Ezra first, then my parents, who attempt to hide their amusement, and then I message Ciara and Kellan telling them we’ll be back after they’re in bed.
Sam pilots the pod transport to the Avion Colony, and we fly low enough to take in the sprawling cities below. The colonies are divided into cities with holographic walls marking boundary lines and alerting you when you cross from one to another.
Ryker holds my hand the entire trip, and I point out different landmarks as we go. The cities of Avis and Crowdenn are the two most populated cities of the colony. We are headed to the least popular of the three, Ayallenora.
The pod comes down outside the main city center. This is my favorite of all the places on Kyrr. Here, the world is big, and we are small. It’s as if the city itself were built by a clan of giants.
The city is built into a valley of trees with a large river running through it at its center.
Built in layers, the top layer of the city is made up of shops and restaurants, serving those who are passing through.
The second layer is homes and businesses, but it’s the lowest layer, the one closest to the water, that holds the magic.
There, it’s the heart of the city to the locals. Markets, schools, gyms, and the local fare reside there. As we step out into the crunching gravel, I take Ryker's hand, and my grin widens.
“Ready?” I ask.
He nods, turning on my energy shield before his. I feel the protection glide over my skin, like a second layer. “Let’s go.”