46. Raea #2
Tate whistles low, making this whole situation worse.
Kellan steps in, glowering at the red-headed female. “She shouldn’t have been in that situation in the first place. Telling her what to expect so she was at least prepared—”
“Enough!” I snap. “She is standing right here. She is perfectly fine. She is capable of assessing a situation and making my own godsdamned decisions.” I glare at my friends before turning my gaze to Alex.
“And you should have told me.” I spin on my heel, heading to the training rings, only yelling over my shoulder once I’ve reached the edge.
“It’s only midday, we still have training to get to. ”
Ryker doesn’t understand that every time he shields me from a test, he’s telling me he doesn’t think I can pass it. I don't need a protector. I need him to be a partner who trusts me enough to know my own boundaries.
I find Vaeric waiting for me in the ring. He’s brutal, but efficient. I’m on my back too many times to count, but his nods of approval when I stand again keep me from complaining.
I step, throwing my arm, only for him to sweep my feet out from under me. “You give your moves away, Light Bringer. Use the element of surprise.”
I huff and twist, attempting to knock his feet out from under him, but he jumps, dodging me, and then laughs.
I’m still angry over the whole cliff situation, but mostly, I’m angry at myself.
Angry for dislocating my shoulder and not finishing the course.
Apparently, all I had to do was climb back up, work my way through the dark forest, and back out into the clearing. Then I would have been done.
Vaeric reaches out a hand, but I slap it away, standing.
He attempts to read me. I exhale slowly, taking up another stance, hearing Professor Ainslyn’s voice in my head.
Move fast, get in and out. Use your height to your advantage.
My throat burns for a moment when I think of him.
I have to believe he’s okay. Knowing him, he would throw himself into the chaos to help.
When I open my eyes, Vaeric nods, motioning for me to begin.
I sit in the tub, tears streaming down my face.
I can’t even pinpoint why I’m crying. Maybe I’m tired.
I know my hormones are all over the place.
I’m also angry. I thought sparring for hours on end until I had to drag myself through the gateway would have helped, but it didn’t. It only made me angrier.
Ryker appears in the doorway, arms crossed as he watches me.
“Go away,” I cry. “I want to be alone.”
He sighs, staying put. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lost it like that. But you jumped off a cliff.”
I sink below the water, rinsing my hair, before I break the surface again. I don’t bother to look at him. I know he’s debating whether he should undress and join me or if he should give me space.
We haven’t fought like this before, and it makes my heart hurt. He’s the one I run to when things get tough. The one who helps me sort out my mess, but right now, I’m so godsdamn angry. It’s irrational, I know, but I don’t care.
“Anders Rykerson, please, for once in your godsdamned life, just listen and get out!”
The words hit their mark, a physical shudder rippling through the air and our Bond.
I want to reach for him, to pull back the cold command I hurled at his chest, but the anger is a living thing, fueled by exhaustion and the stress of everything.
I wait, staring at nothing until I see him cross the room.
I’m pretty sure I stop breathing, but he kneels outside the tub, placing a towel near the ledge before kissing the top of my head.
“I’ll go see if Trysten wants to head to the bar with me.”
Silent tears stream down my face as he leaves. When the door clicks shut, the silence of the room is heavier than the mountain itself. My sobs come harder and faster. He should have fought me. He should have stayed. I want to chase him down and apologize. I didn’t mean it. Not really.
Deciding the bath isn’t helping, I dress quickly, donning loose pants and a soft tunic before grabbing a cloak and heading out to the beach. I need to see the stars. I need to breathe fresh air.
My steps are frantic as I push through the thick vines and stumble into the gardens. I wish I had a transport that could take me up there—I feel landlocked. I follow a path to my left until the open beach stretches before me. Moonlight catches on the water, making it sparkle like millions of stars.
Above, the sky is so unfamiliar, yet—
My chest aches as I angrily wipe at tears. I miss the way things used to be. I wanted so badly to get out of it. To not have to deal with the Bond. I wanted to leave and now…
I wish I had enjoyed it more. I wish that I could have sat in each class savoring the easy smiles and comfort. I wish I had hugged my father once more and felt my mother’s hands wrapped in mine.
A loud sob tears through me, fat tears streaming down my face, when a warm body sits next to me. I cover my face, holding in the next sob and wiping my eyes until I look up. Surprise must cross my features, because he only leans back, nodding to the water.
“Watch,” he says softly.
When my gaze turns to the tide, I gasp, standing and nearly falling on my face. Disbelief crashes over me. “What…what are those?”
A glowing purple iridescent tail flaps above the waves before disappearing again.
Finn smiles, patting the rock where I had been sitting only moments ago. “Merfolk. They come out at night, hunting and diving along the shores for a certain type of crab.”
Merfolk?
“Mermaids are real?” I ask with a disbelieving huff. I shake my head. “No, they can’t be.”
Finn shrugs. “And yet they are.”
When I settle back onto the rock, we sit in a heavy silence for a while, only the sound of the waves filling the air. After a while, he says, “It’s a big burden. Quite frankly, it’s shitty to have fallen on one person’s shoulders.”
I don’t reply. Instead, I bring my knees to my chest, wrap my arms around my shins, and rest my chin on top. I scan the shore, looking for more mermaids, seeing a glowing green tail, this one larger than the last before it’s gone.
“Fate can be cruel sometimes.” Finn sighs, looking up at the stars.
“I’m the leader of the Nai’shada clan. My people live deep in the forests, living off whatever it provides.
Then, out of nowhere, I was summoned by the elders.
They told me I was to travel here, to train you.
They said that they heard whispers on the wind that I would be the one to unite our two peoples again.
” He groans, dropping his head. “So I left my clan in the care of my brother, and now, I’m not sure if I can return. ”
“Why not?” I ask, turning to face him. “You shouldn’t be charged with our care. Riven and Carys have everything under control.”
He nods, the moonlight catching on the strands of blond in his hair.
His green eyes are like a glowing forest, the bead in his long beard ethereal in the light.
“I could leave, but the elders were right. I must be here. The gods have given me a gift and in time—” He pauses, shaking his head again.
“I’ll be here. I’ll fight with you and your mate.
Our lives are woven together, and there are things at play that I cannot speak of just yet. It’s not time.”
He stands, dusting off his hands. “I might not know you, Raea, but one of my abilities is to sense a person’s soul.
Whether they’re good or evil. Are they fighting a darkness within?
” He nods as if answering his own question.
“You are good, Raea. The light within you is sustained, and you are pure of heart. Don’t let this world or this war tell you otherwise. ”
I watch the iridescent purple of a mermaid's tail catch the moonlight, a glimpse of a world that is as beautiful as it is dangerous. Finn’s words—that my light is sustained and my heart is pure—should be a comfort, but they feel like another set of expectations I’m not sure I can meet.
I am a girl who screamed at her mate for caring.
I don't feel like a Light Bringer. I just feel tired.
Finn disappears back toward the garden. I blow out a long breath, my anger finally leaving me. Another mermaid’s tail trails below the surface, leaving behind a temporary trace of gold.
I decide to stay a little while longer.