Chapter 5
Addison’s apartment smelled like pumpkin spice and vanilla.
The woman was in her fall era of candles.
She was burning way too many for two women who would be eating straight out of takeout boxes.
The glow made the space feel cozy with her blankets and mismatched pillows thrown across her couches.
It was their Monday night refuge. No matter how chaotic life got, they always met on Mondays to debrief and sort of get their week started off right.
Tachina dropped her purse on the table by the door and carried in the bags of food like they were a peace offering. She’d barely sat down before Addison handed her a glass of pinot.
“Thank you.” Tachina groaned.
She took a hefty sip and blew out a deep breath.
Today had been a very stressful day at work.
She was so glad that she didn’t have to worry about Kian after school.
Vic taking him to the Monsters game had been perfect.
She’d been in meetings all day. Her company had won the bid to renovate a huge project and, low and behold, she was named the lead designer.
Not that she wasn’t excited about it. She was, and this was really going to take a lot of work, so she had dove in immediately. Hence why she had left the studio late.
“So, where’s my tiny nephew?” Addison asked. She flipped open the large carton of sesame chicken. “I had snacks for the little man all ready for him.”
“My bad. He didn’t have school today, and Vic wanted to take him to the Monsters game.” Tachina settled back with her container of lo mein. “He’s going to stay over Vic’s and come home tomorrow.”
“That’s nice you got an extra free night,” Addison said around her chewing. “I just love how they bond and have fun together.”
“Me, too.” Tachina took a bite of her food and moaned. This was their favorite Chinese takeout spot, and they never disappointed. The food was always hot, and their portions were astronomical, making it definitely worth the money.
“So why are you smiling?”
“What? I’m not smiling. I’m eating,” Tachina said with a mouth full of food. She eyed her friend who was staring at her with a strange look on her face.
“So did you ask him?”
Tachina knew this was coming. Addison had probably spent all day waiting for Tachina to text her with updates. Tachina knew this conversation would be best over food and wine. Hopefully, these were the last few glasses she’d be drinking for a while.
Addison didn’t do suspense well.
“Yes, I did,” Tachina said.
Addison squealed and scooted to the edge of her seat. She reached for her glass and took a sip of wine as she waited for Tachina to continue.
“I stopped by his house for lunch yesterday so we could talk.”
“Okay….” Addison dug into her food without taking her eyes off Tachina.
“I was so damn nervous because I felt if I didn’t do it right away, I’d never would.
” Tachina exhaled. She dug around in her food, now suddenly feeling as if her appetite was disappearing.
“Vic had grilled for us. You know how he is. Calm and collected. Meanwhile, I was internally freaking out. I knew not to ask while Kian was around. That would have been a worse disaster than I had already made it.” Tachina chuckled.
“Well, that makes sense, but how did you ruin it?”
“Well, instead of using what I had rehearsed, I just blurted it out.” Tachina paused and looked up from her food.
“You did not? What did you say? Get me pregnant again, please?” Addison stared at her with wide eyes.
“I panicked!” Tachina said, on the defense. “He asked me what’s going on, and it just fell out of my mouth. Here I am—I want another baby and I want the father to be you.”
“You did not!”
“I did!” Tachina was close to either crying or laughing hysterically. Or maybe both. She just knew that she had freaked out, and she wouldn’t even be surprised if he suggest she go see a therapist.
Addison stared at her, then dropped her head back against the couch dramatically. She sat back up and sighed. She reached over and snagged her glass of wine from the side table.
“Bestie, what am I going to do with you?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” Tachina groaned.
“Well, what did he say?”
“That’s the thing. He didn’t say no. He didn’t say yes. He asked a few questions then said he would think about it.”
“Because of being calm and delivering a well-thought-out request, you probably made it sound like you were proposing baby number two like you were ordering food at a drive-thru.”
“Addy!”
“Sorry. I’m so sure you were oh-so elegant in your asking by blurting out that you wanted him to knock you up again.” Addison drank the rest of her wine and set the empty glass on the table again.
“At least he asked logical questions. He was even very insightful about it. Like what this would mean for everyone.”
“The man runs a very successful company. Of course he was going to have questions,” Addison muttered.
“But he didn’t say no.”
“But he didn’t say yes,” Addison replied.
“But at least he said he was going to think about it.” Tachina sighed and took another bite of her lo mein. She might as well try to finish it. She would hate to waste the food, and this was actually the first time she’d gotten to eat all day.
“How does that make you feel?” Addison asked quietly.
“Terrified. Like my future is in the hands of my son’s father.” Tachina sniffed. She sighed and took a sip of her wine.
“I mean, not entirely…you can always go get Monica’s cousin’s phone number…” Addison grinned.
Tachina bunched up the napkin that was resting on her lap and tossed it at her.
“I’m not desperate!” Tachina laughed. But then she added, “At least not yet.”
Addison howled with laughter. Tachina was glad that she had came over today. It was a great way to unwind. One would think they would do this on Fridays, but it was always needed on Monday with it being the first day back at work. They settled down and continued their meal.
But then something inside Tachina needed to be let out. She glanced over at Addison and figured she might as well share.
“Can I tell you something?” she asked.
“You know you can tell me anything.”
“Back when I first found out I was pregnant with Kian, there was a moment where I wondered if maybe something would develop between me and Vic,” she said.
That had been sitting inside her for so long.
She hadn’t shared that with anyone. Maybe it had been the hormones or something.
But a tiny glimmer of hope had planted inside her chest that maybe more would develop between them.
They were certainly good in the bed together.
They got along well when she was working on his office.
Addison’s expression softened, but she remained quiet.
“It passed. Life got busy. We have made this work out, but in the back of mind, I still wonder ‘what if’…”
“Even now? Are you hoping that baby number two will give you two a second chance, so to speak?”
Tachina froze. Her breath stalled. Did she truly want something with Vic?
Addison must have sensed her hesitation. “It’s okay if the answer is yes.”
“I honestly don’t know what I’m feeling for him,” Tachina whispered.
“You do know asking for a baby with a man you might have feelings for is definitely normal,” Addison said with a straight face.
“Addison!”
“I’m just saying.” She waved her chopsticks in the air. “This situation is ripe for a disaster.”
Tachina was thankful that her friend was not only on her side and rooting for her, but also helping to keep her grounded with a reality check.
Her phone buzzed on the table. She grabbed it, expecting a work email or a text from one of her assistants.
But it was Vic.
Her heart immediately raced. She set her food down on the table. She was too nervous to hold that and her phone in her hands.
“Who is it?” Addison closed her food container and set it down on the table next to Tachina’s.
“It’s Vic.”
Addison nearly climbed over the couch’s arm to peer over her shoulder. “What did he say? Open the text! Now!”
“Wait a minute, woman.” Tachina swatted her away. “Can I get some privacy here?”
“Absolutely not. We are bonded. I watched a baby come out of your cooch! And since you have asked him for another one, I deserve to witness this!”
Tachina rolled her eyes and inhaled as she attempted to open the text. It took two tries with the way her hands trembled. Addison slid down onto the sofa next to her and peered at her phone’s screen.
I’ll pick up Kian from school tomorrow and bring him home. Can we talk then?
She bit her lip. What did that mean?
“That’s definitely a ‘I’ve thought about it and I’m going to give you my answer’ text,” she said.
“Addison.” Tachina moved to stand, but Addison gripped her arm and made her sit back down.
“You are not going to try to run off and spiral alone. I’m here for you. Between now and tomorrow, you are going to remain calm. You are going to get a good night’s rest when you get home. No late-night stress baking like I know you do when something has you in a tizzy.”
Tachina fell back against the cushions. She dropped her phone in her lap and covered her face with her hands.
“What if he says no?” she groaned.
“Then we regroup. We drink lots of wine. Maybe curse his name a few times. Not too much because we still like him.”
“But what if he says yes?” Tachina removed her hands from her face and met the wide-eyed gaze of her friend.
Addison blinked then smiled.
“I already told you I would throw the cutest sprinkle shower the city has ever seen,” she declared. “And if he does say yes, then you need to figure out if your hormones are the only thing talking or if your heart is sneaking into the conversation.”
Tachina swallowed hard. That was the question she had been avoiding. She wanted another baby.
Bad.
That was the real part. It was undeniable that she wanted another child to love. She had enough to go around, and Kian deserved a sibling.
But the father she wanted…
The one man she trusted…
The one she’d chosen…
Was Vic.
And that meant something, right?
Maybe more than she was ready to admit.
Tachina sat in the obstetrician’s waiting room with one hand resting protectively over the small swell of her stomach.
The late-morning sun filtered through the blinds.
She eyed the posters on the wall and sighed.
Everything was pastel and cheerful, like pregnancy was a guaranteed parade of glowing cheeks and happiness.
But all that seemed to surround her was silence.
She’d looked around the room, pretending to scroll on her phone and pretending to be unbothered by what she saw.
Couples.
Everywhere.
Partners holding hands. Partners rubbing bellies. Partners whispering something private and tender that made the pregnant women laugh. One man kissed his girlfriend’s temple, while another rested his hand on the back of his wife’s chair in a protective manner.
Tachina swallowed hard and tucked her purse closer.
She was alone.
She had told Vic that she had an appointment that day. Just a routine checkup, nothing urgent. He’d immediately asked if he should come, and she’d said no before he’d finished the question. He’d had a huge meeting that day, and she hadn’t wanted to interrupt his work.
She didn’t want to appear to be needy.
Didn’t want to drag him into the day to day of a pregnancy neither of them had planned.
She’d promised to text him updates when she’d left.
A nurse called another couple back. The woman needed assistance getting up, and the man with her helped her up. They laughed at whatever joke he had told. She watched them walk with the nurse through the open doorway.
Tachina blinked hard, unable to stop her vision from blurring from unshed tears.
She wasn’t unloved. She wasn’t unsupported. Addison had gone with her to every big scan so far. Her mother called constantly, fussing over her like she was carrying the first baby ever created. She was not alone.
Not really.
But she wasn’t with the baby’s father.
No one warned her about that ache. The empty space beside her chair felt too loud. It was like someone held a spotlight on it to showcase that she was alone.
When the nurse finally called her name, she stood, forced a smile, and followed her back. She listened to the doctor reviewing her son’s measurements, advice, and even laughed when the doctor joked about her baby kicking like someone training for soccer.
But as the doppler picked up the sound of the heartbeat, it was strong and beautiful, and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. She wished Vic could hear it. Wished he was there to watch their child kick and stretch her stomach out.
She wished they were more than two people trying to figure out how to make this accidental blessing work.
After her appointment, she did as promised and sent him a text with the baby’s stats and the doctor’s praises. He responded immediately, thrilled and proud.
It helped, but it still didn’t erase the image of the empty chair beside hers.
“You’re scared?” Addison nudged her and broke her out of her thoughts.
“Terrified.” Tachina sniffed. Her eyes were a little scratchy. She prayed she didn’t start crying now. She’d loved every moment of being pregnant with Kian and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
“Good. That means it matters.” She reached over and grabbed their small container of Crab Rangoon they hadn’t touched yet. “Here. Let’s eat these. You are going to need your strength for tomorrow’s conversation.”
Tachina managed a weak laugh. Her phone buzzed again. She lifted it off her lap and brought it up.
“What does he want now?” Addison asked.
“Nothing.”
But it wasn’t another message from Vic.
It was a picture of Kian from the game. Vic was holding him up in the stands, and both of them had wide grins on their faces with blue lips. Vic had probably sent it earlier during the game, but she hadn’t seen it.
Her chest softened. Her heart melted. A sigh escaped her as she took the picture in. Her little man was having the time of his life with his dad.
The world she had built with Vic was peaceful, sometimes awkward, but overall, it was precious.
And tomorrow, with one conversation…everything could change.