Chapter 10 Gracie Mae #2
“Don’t ever call me, Grace.” My voice is low.
She smirks. “Maybe there’s some of me in you after all.”
“No, it’s called self respect. Something you know nothing about.”
With a sneer and a glare she finally leaves, heading towards the bathroom to clean herself up.
As soon as I hear the bathroom door open and then close only then do I allow myself to breathe.
But it’s also then that I feel the extent of my injuries.
Grabbing a hand towel that hangs from the oven I run it under lukewarm water. Taking the soaked towel I head towards my bedroom. Standing in front of my cheap over the door mirror I inspect my wounds.
It’s not the worst she has done but it’s damage nonetheless.
Her palm is as clear as day across my face and I’m afraid it will welt. Plus the scratch mark running down my face. That’s going to arise questions at work and from everyone at Vipers MC. I’ll just have to add another layer of foundation.
The tiny scratch wounds across my chest and arms will be easier to cover up. I can just wear long sleeves and a high neck shirt. At work I’ll cover it with some concealer. And I’ll make sure that Connor doesn’t have to see it. It will only upset him.
After I clean my wounds I start applying makeup to my face. In the middle of putting on my second layer of foundation I hear a knock at the door.
Glancing down at my phone I see that it’s quarter to one.
Fuck, he’s early.
Rushing through the rest of my makeup and throwing on a jacket I dash out of my room to the front door.
I zip my jacket all the way up and take one final deep breath before answering the door.
Placing a smile on my face that doesn’t feel natural at all I open the door wide to Steven standing outside.
“Grace, it’s good to see you.” There’s a smile on his face that’s more genuine than mine.
“You, too.” I lie. Opening my arm and stepping to the side I welcome him in.
Steven Alexander isn’t a bad looking man.
To be fair he’s quite attractive. A man in his early thirties that doesn’t look a day over twenty-five.
That has very much to do with his baby face.
His face is smoother than a newborn babies bottom and his soft brown eyes are gentle.
Dark brown hair is cropped nice and short around his ears and behind his neck.
And maybe if I was someone else my heart would stutter or my breath would catch.
But I only do that for one man because no one else can even compare.
He stands in the middle of our small living room. His eyes slowly making their assessment of the trailer before continuing with procedure.
I’ve never really felt inferior to anyone before. I know my worth and value. But there’s something about him that makes me feel small.
“How is college?” He asks me as his eyes finally land on me.
“Just finished my finals last week. Waiting on my test results. Fingers crossed.” I cross my fingers and laugh but he doesn’t return the favor. Great.
“And how is your job? Still working at Fantasy?” And there it is. The way he says it. Belittling me and making me feel cheap and dirty. It’s like he doesn’t even realize the tone of voice he’s using.
I nod my head. The smile strains on my face. “Still there.”
“Have you found a way to make more of an income? To gain custody of Connor you must be financially stable and independent, Grace.”
“I’m working on it.” No need to tell him that I’m seriously thinking about stripping.
“By finding another job or doing something more at Fantasy?”
“I don’t see how that’s your concern,” I say lightly, my voice dripping like sweet honey.
He fiddles with his cuff links. Those titanium silver cuff links that have his initials. “Anything regarding Connor is my concern. You know this.”
“I know, Steven. And I appreciate everything that you’ve done for him and I. Especially the advice you’ve been giving me.” I lay it on thick hoping that he won’t press about the job situation.
“You’re my concern, too. You know I worry about you.
” He’s never said that before. It’s always been about Connor.
But the way he’s looking at me now, with affection, has me wanting to crawl out of my skin.
I’ve had my suspicions, of course. His eyes always roamed over my body appreciatively.
They would linger when they weren’t supposed to.
But he’s never been this bold. He takes a step towards me as I remain where I am. “I only do this for you, Grace.”
My tongue feels heavy in my throat. A sick feeling churning like butter in my stomach. “Steven, you’re Connor’s social worker,” I remind him softly.
“And if I was doing my job correctly, Connor would have been gone long ago. I only keep him here because of you.” His voice is low and soft.
I hate it. Taking a loose strand of my hair he tucks it behind my ear and then lets his fingers linger.
I fight back the shiver that wants to race down my spine. One of disgust.
“And I appreciate that. You know I do.”
“I don’t feel appreciated, Grace.” God, I hate how he calls me Grace. My stomach twists at what I know he’s insinuating.
Why isn’t there any good men left in Hollows Point?
Why do people with power make ones without feel so incredibly small?
“Steven, please.”
His brown eyes flash hungrily. “I like when you beg me.”
Disgusting asshole.
“Even if I’m begging you to stop?” I challenge.
“Will you?” He pauses for effect. “Even if it means losing Connor?”
“You wouldn’t. That’s unethical! I’ll call your superior.”
“And if you do I’ll be replaced. Whoever my replacement will be will take him away from you, Grace. I’m the only one who isn’t letting that happen.”
What a fucking asshole.
Yet I have to bite my tongue. I have to for Connor.
“Don’t you need to see my mom? To put in your file?”
He shakes his head. “I’ve seen enough. We both know I lie in the file for you.”
“Don’t put this on me, Steven. I’m not making you lie.”
“But I do it anyways. Because I care. For you.” Being brave he then leans down and places a gentle kiss on my cheek. I bite down hard on my tongue to where the taste of metallic fills my mouth. “I’ll see you soon.” Then with a gentle smile and warm eyes that are nothing but an illusion he leaves.
I release a breath that’s shaky as I fall to the couch behind me.
What in the fuck just happened?
God, I ache.
My whole body aches.
But it’s my heart that is suffering the most.
I wrap my arms around myself as I try to piece myself back together.
I can’t break. I need to stay strong. For Connor.
Everything is for Connor.
“Did he leave already?” I hear mom say from behind me. I don’t have the strength to face her. And I don’t want her to see me like this. Raw.
“You don’t have to act like you care.”
“I don’t.”
A tear falls down my cheek. I might be breaking down but my voice is made of steel. “That’s what I thought.”
“I heard what he said to you.”
My shoulders tense. “And?”
“You’re going to fight that battle, too, aren’t you?”
There wouldn’t even be a battle for me to fight if she just fucking cared. If she didn’t give up on being our mother.
I turn to look at her with disappointment. She could’ve been so much more.
“I will always fight for him. Always.”
She shakes her head. “Fight, fight, fight until there’s nothing left. The world is going to take everything from you. And you’ll be-”
“Dead, I know. You’ve said this already.
” I am exhausted with this conversation.
Beyond exhausted with her. She rolls her eyes at me, tsking.
Then without another word she walks back to her bedroom.
Probably back to another stash of drugs.
And she leaves me alone, like always. Piercing another piece of my heart.
I pull out my phone and go through my contacts searching for the one person I need to hear from right now. I only hope to god that they answer.
I click on the name with shaky fingers and bring the phone to my ear.
It rings only once before they answer.
“Grace,” Oak says my name and I almost cry in relief.
Hearing his voice, deep and smooth, is like a balm to my soul.
I suck in a breath, not able to reply with fear of my voice failing me.
“Grace,” he says my name again except this time it’s filled with concern.
“Are you okay? Do you need me? Say it and I’ll be there. ”
I release a shaky breath into the phone after sniffling.
“I’m coming to you.” He decides with finality in his voice.
It’s only then I find my voice. “You don’t need to go out of your way. That’s not why I called.”
“Grace,” he says my name softly, “nothing will ever be in my way to get to you.” Oh my god. My heart aches in an entirely different way. Butterflies swarm my stomach with a vengeance.
My lips tip up in a half smile. “You really meant it about not avoiding me, huh?” I lightly tease him.
“I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, the days of me avoiding you are long gone.” He pauses and swallows. Then with a vulnerability he rarely shows he says, “I may not be the best man to be in your life and Connor’s but I can’t stay away from you any longer.”
My heart swells.
And the fact that he included Connor, means more to me than he’ll ever know.
He already has most of my heart and he doesn’t even know it.
“You can’t stay away,” I murmur softly. “Does that mean one day you’ll let me in?”
Silence greets me back. Before doubt can creep into my mind he tells me, “If there is anyone strong enough to tear down my armor it’s you, Grace.”
Hope lights up inside of me. “Are you saying to keep fighting for you, Oak?”
“I’m saying that if there’s anything left of me to save, anything at all, I know you’ll do it. You’ll pull me from the trenches, carry me over your shoulder and bring me back to life.”
“That’s a lot of faith you have in me,” I try to joke but he sees past that.
“And you have a lot of faith in me to even want to fight. But you want to know what I think?”
“What?”
“That if we ever lose the faith in ourselves we will always have it for each other. It’ll never be lost.”
How is it that the most stubborn closed off man that I know can say the most beautiful things that are raw and vulnerable?
And why do I get the feeling that he only shows that side of himself to me?
“I needed to hear that,” I confess to him.
I imagine him smiling, the small ones he always seems to give me. “Everyday remember? I’ll tell you that every fucking day.”
My heart feels lighter now. The smile coming naturally to my face. “Thank you. I better go, don’t want to keep you.”
“Don’t ever think you’re keeping me from something, you’re not.”
My smile grows wider. “Well, I have to go. Connor gets off school soon and then I have to head into work.”
“So I take it you don’t need me there?”
“No, hearing your voice was enough,” I honestly tell him.
“Tell Connor I said hi, will you?”
“I will. He’ll be happy to hear from you.” We both stay on the phone, neither one of us wanting to hang up.
“You going to hang up?” He teases me. I can imagine amusement in his eyes.
“Are you?”
“Give in, Grace.”
“No, you give into me.” We both know the hidden meaning behind that.
“Then I guess this will be a start.” He then hangs up and I feel like I’ve chipped away more of his armor. He’s letting me in. Slowly but surely he’s letting me in.
And just like that my day from hell has turned around.