Chapter 13 Oak #2
I know why I’m in a trance. Why I’m paralyzed.
Why is Crow?
“Nora.” His voice sounds gruff, off.
The laughter stops and I watch struck as Nora notices him before she notices me.
Her eyes widen behind her glasses as she sees him. “Blake,” she says breathlessly.
Crow goes to take a steps towards her but I clamp a hand on his shoulder. He stiffens, his muscles locking under my hand. “If you ever thought I wanted to murder you before I promise you the most painful death if you ever lay a hand on my fucking sister.”
He breaks free of my hold with a jerk of his shoulder. He doesn’t cut me a glance as he walks away from me and towards her. It’s as if the fucker didn’t hear a word that I threatened him with. Or he doesn’t care. Either way he’s a dead fucking man.
He stops a healthy distance away from her but I can tell that he wants to be closer.
What’s worse is I can tell she wants him to be, too.
What. The. Fuck.
“You look good, Nora,” he compliments her and she gives him a shy smile.
“So do you. It’s been a long time,” she breathes.
“Too long,” he wistfully says.
I’m going to fucking end him. Bury his body six feet underground.
“Hey,” Grace says to me softly as she approaches me. I finally tear my eyes away from Crow to look at her.
And I breathe.
I watch as she reaches for my hand and I don’t stop as she takes it in hers. My finger stops twitching with her gentle touch.
“You know it’s rude to not say hi,” she says to me as she looks up at me from under her lashes.
“I was going to.”
She quirks a brow. “Before or after you killed, Sheriff Crow? If it’s after then don’t even bother, big guy.”
My lips twitch despite myself. Amusement begins to light in my eyes. All the murderous rage I was feeling slowly dissipating. “Before. Always before.”
She smiles sweetly up at me. “Good. I’m happy to see that you still have those manners you always tell me about.”
I smirk. “Not all the time.”
“Oh, I’m counting on that.”
My heart beats in my chest and I have the sudden urge to haul her in my arms. To claim her mouth with a kiss full of promises to come.
But I don’t.
Taking my hand she raises it between us and while looking me in the eyes chastely kisses the back of my hand.
Fuck.
The feeling of her lips on my skin is the sweetest torture I have ever experienced.
And I don’t want to punish myself any longer with her.
Holy fuck.
The revelation causes me to pull away from her on instinct.
I don’t miss the look of disappointment that fleets her face before she recovers with a smile that could fool everyone else but me.
Her hand loses its hold on mine but not before giving it a reaffirming squeeze.
My girl is still fighting for me.
God fucking bless her for that.
With her skin not on mine any longer I take a step aside and find Crow kneeling in front of Nora.
His knee is almost touching hers.
I swear to fucking god. . .
“Don’t hesitate to call me,” he tells her in a hushed tone that doesn’t sound like him. Almost too soft.
She nods her head eyes just as soft.
“I think it’s time for you to go,” I say to Crow in a steely tone.
He shifts slightly to look over his shoulder at me. His green eyes returning to stone. He has no intention on moving.
Nora spares a quick glance at me and must know what’s going on inside my head because she says to Crow softly, “It would be wise if you listened to him.”
At the sound of her voice he shifts his head back towards her. Nodding his head he then rises. Before he leaves he says to her, “Promise to stay in touch.”
“Not fucking likely,” I reply for her.
Crow doesn’t acknowledge me but with one subtle nod from Nora he decides what’s best for him and finally leaves.
“What the fuck was that?” I demand of her.
“Oak,” Grace admonishes but she doesn’t understand. She doesn’t know that Crow was involved with Lana. That he was the one she decided was better than me. I don’t give a fuck if Crow said he didn’t know. It still burns. It still fucking hurts. But Nora knows of Crow’s deeds..
Nora doesn’t flinch from my tone but I don’t expect her to. Growing up she adopted many of my character traits. Being brutally stubborn one of them.
“It’s okay, Grace,” Nora says for me. Then rising from the leather couch she closes the distance. She smiles warmly at Grace who stands besides me. “I think Ethan and I need a minute alone.”
She mouths up at me, Ethan, with a raised brow. I can’t believe in all this time that I’ve known her I’ve never told her my real name. But then again I haven’t felt like Ethan since I’ve come back home.
“I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” I tell her hoping that she’ll read the situation without given much context.
“Okay but be nice to her. She is your sister,” she says to me.
Then turning to Nora she envelopes her in her arms. Nora has to slightly bend down given her height.
“I’m glad I finally got to meet you. Oak talks so highly of you.
I hope you reconsider about coming to my graduation party.
I’m sure everyone will love to see you there. ”
“I’ll try,” she says tentatively. Grace smiles at her one last time and subtly touches my bicep before she walks away.
I have to stop myself from watching her as she goes.
When the room is clear Nora throws her arms around me. And although I’m confused as fuck about what’s going on between her and Crow and I might be pissed I still welcome her in my arms.
I love my sister to death. Will do anything for her. All I want is for her to be safe, protected and happy.
I wrap my arms around her and squeeze a bit too hard. Just like when we were kids.
“It’s been too long since your last visit, Nor.”
“I missed you, too.”
We finally let go and I get a good look at her.
Her blue eyes, the same icy shade as mine don’t appear as vacant as they used to be. No dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep due to her nightmares. Her auburn hair is swept up in a low ponytail with loose tendrils framing her face. She doesn’t look stressed or tired.
She looks healthy.
The only thing that hasn’t changed since the incident is that she’s still wearing clothes that are too big for her.
“I like her,” she says to me with a soft smile. “She’s incredibly kind.”
“Too kind,” I mutter understand my breath. I always worry that one day that kind heart of hers will only hurt her. And I’m terrified of being the one to cause the damage.
“Exactly what you need. Lord knows you haven’t been kind to yourself all these years.”
“Nora,” I start.
She narrows her eyes at me. “Don’t Nora me. You know it’s true. You deserve to be happy, Ethan. And you deserve kindness. You’re not a monster like you claim to be. You’ll always be my big brother, the hero.”
I feel the weight of her words crushing down on my chest. It’s too much. It’s always too fucking much.
“You don’t have to believe me but maybe you should start allowing yourself to believe her.”
“What makes you think I will?” The argument sounds weak to my own ears.
“I saw how you looked at her. You’ll believe her.”
Which comes full circle to what I was questioning her for.
“Is it the same way you look at Crow?”
Something passes over her face but I don’t know what. “Don’t,” she says softly.
“What was that, Nor?” I press.
I see her defenses coming up because it’s the same way mine do. Her blue eyes turning to glaciers. “It was nothing.”
“You’re a shit liar.”
“So are you.”
“We aren’t talking about me right now,” I tell her and she sighs. “We’re talking about you and how you looked at Crow.”
“His name is Blake you know,” she says deflecting me.
“I could give a fuck less what his name is. You know what he did, Nora. You know what he did to me.” I hate how I can’t mask the hurt in my voice.
Her faces softens as sorrow bleeds in her eyes. “I know what happened, Ethan and I wished that it never did.”
“Then how can you look at him like that? Lana cheated on me with him.”
“He didn’t know.”
“Whose side are you on?”
“Yours,” she says instantly. “I’m always on your side. How can you even ask me that?”
“Because you just defended him.”
“I didn’t defend him.”
“Yes you did.”
“Are we seriously fighting about this right now? Are you honestly mad at me?”
Mad at her? No.
Confused? Yes.
But at the end of the day I love my sister. She’s what’s kept me from swallowing the bullet so many fucking times.
So I give up the fight and drop my defenses. “I’m not mad at you. I just saw how you looked at him, Nora. And I saw how he looked at you.”
She nods her head swallowing. “It’s complicated,” she admits to me.
“So there’s something?”
“I’m not saying there is. I’m saying whatever I feel towards him is complicated and that’s all I can give you right now because I don’t even fully understand it.”
“I can accept that.”
“You can?” She’s hopeful and I don’t want to take that away from her. Not after all that she’s suffered.
“I can. Just try your best to stay away from him until you make it uncomplicated. I don’t like seeing him with you. Already told him I’ll kill him if he lays a hand on you.”
Her eyes go wide and she slaps me lightly on the arm. “He’s an officer, Ethan.”
I shrug. “Doesn’t matter to me. Any man who wants you better be prepared for death.”
She shakes her head but she’s smiling. “Still so protective.”
“You’re my little sister. I’ll always be protective of you.”
“I know. That’s why I love you.”
I throw my arm around her shoulders and start walking with her to show her the room she’ll be staying in once she gets her stuff here.
“So, you going to Grace’s graduation party at The Pit?” I casually ask her already knowing the answer.
“I don’t know. Too many people. Bodies pressed up on each other. Not really my thing.”
More like not her thing since what happened to her. Nora before was more adventurous and carefree. A free spirit.
That was taken away from her that night.
If I could murder that fucker all over again I would.
“You will have people by your side the whole time. You won’t be left alone,” I assure her.
“I don’t want someone to be my babysitter.”
“They wouldn’t be. It’s just to make you comfortable. Plus, aren’t you the one who said you can’t let your fear control you? Isn’t that the whole point of moving here?”
“Damn it,” she mutters under her breath. “I hate when you use my words against me because I can’t argue with that.”
“Then come. Everyone misses you.” I see her easing up to the idea of going. I’ll push her a little more before Grace’s graduation party next week. “Don’t ever forget that you have family here.”
She looks up at me. “How could I ever forget that? You’re here.”
“I love you, sis. I’m happy you’re here.
” Having my sister back with me like when we were kids has me happier than I have been in years.
Of course I’m going to be worried about her.
Being here will open the old wounds that have never fully healed.
But she’ll have me to help slay her dragons, to protect her. I’ll right that wrong.
“Love you, too.”
It feels almost foreign.
The man before he enlisted is starting to come back.
And truth be told I’ve missed him.