Chapter 37 Oak
Oak
Ican feel the heat of everyone’s eyes on me.
Another loud pound happens at the door followed by the insistent and stern voice of Agent Astrid Liu. “Open up, we know you’re in there!”
Not wanting to prolong this I rise from my chair to welcome the agents who have a hard on for me. But it’s the strong grip of a delicate hand wrapped around my wrist preventing me from moving any further.
My eyes meet with her hand first. How her delicate fingers are holding onto my wrist like a life raft. I feel the panic in her hold, and the fear of what will happen is she lets go.
When my eyes finally catch her gaze everything I feel in her touch is confirmed. Grace’s eyes are the windows to her soul, and her soul is crying out in pain and fear.
All I want to do is comfort her. Soothe her with my arms bound securely around her. Whisper words in her ear that will calm her panicked heart and kiss her lips to help ease the worry.
As much as I want to lie to her and say that everything will be okay I know she’s the type of woman who wouldn’t appreciate it.
Even with all the pain and trauma she’s suffered in her life she refuses to let anyone coddle her.
It’s her strength that makes her that much more beautiful in my eyes.
“Grace,” I say her name in a hushed tone and my next words I can’t help keeping the pain from, “I have to go.”
She worries on her bottom lip. If we were alone I would remedy that habit. And truth be told I don’t know how long it will be until we are alone again.
Her voice is small, and I hate how vulnerable and broken it sounds. “I don’t want you to go.”
My heart tightens painfully. I swallow thickly. The next words I speak are spoken with regret. “Baby, I have to.” I cup her face and her free hand holds onto my wrist. She melts against my me, leaning into the palm of my hand. “We knew this day was coming,” I remind her softly.
She closes her eyes with a heavy sigh. “And it still came too soon.”
Kneeling I come face to face with her. Sky blue eyes meet mine with so much emotion that I can’t swallow.
“Do you honestly believe I’ll let anyone keep me from you?
” She remains quiet. I swear I can hear the erratic beat of her heart.
Framing her face in my hands I bring her to me until our foreheads are pressed against one another’s.
I breathe her in, her scent I can never get enough of.
“You’re what I’ve been searching for the past ten years.
You’re my peace, Grace. You quiet the noise in my head.
You’ve ended the war. You, Gracie Mae Vale, complete me.
Nothing can keep me from you, do you understand? ”
Tears well in her eyes. She swallows thickly, emotion choking her. “Yeah,” she breathes. Then, with more power in her voice she says, “I understand.”
Not caring one single fuck about all the eyes on us I kiss her hard on the lips. At first she seems stunned, but then her lips move against mine. I can taste the tears that have fallen down her cheeks. It only makes me kiss her harder. To prove to her that this isn’t our end.
Regretfully I break our kiss. Swiping away the remains of her tears I then kiss the tip of her nose before kissing the apples of both her cheeks. “I love you, Grace.”
She smiles. Even though her heart is being beaten she smiles. And that smile is purely for me. “Not possibly more than I love you.”
Raising her up with me I do something that I know goes against club rules but I honestly couldn’t give a fuck. If Sticks wants to fight me over it he can.
With care and deliverance I shrug out of my Vipers MC cut. I hold the worn leather that has seen better days in my hands. In truth this cut is an extension of me. It’s who I am. And I wear it with fucking pride and honor everyday.
Some men would say they’re nothing at all without their cut, but I’m nothing without her.
Gasps are made as I slip my cut through her arms. The cut swallows her frame, appearing more as a dress on her body.
“I love my club and I love my brothers, but I love you more Grace. You’re mine in every sense of the word.
And in this life, my life, that makes you my Old Lady.
So, I’m giving you this, a piece of me no one else will ever have, and I’m entrusting it in your hands.
And when I come back to you I know you’ll have it waiting for me. ”
“Oak,” she chokes out my name as a sob catches in her throat. “I can’t take this.” She begins to take it off but I stop her.
“Yes you can,” I tell her and she lays her arms down by her side. “Take this as my promise that I’m coming back to you.”
“Son,” Sticks interjects and I give him a cutting glare.
“If you’re about to tell me I can’t do this I respectfully disagree with you,” I say harshly.
Sticks shakes his head. “Wasn’t going to say a damn word. I just wanted to let you know all of us here will protect your woman and Connor with our life. You have nothing to worry of.”
I nod my head in gratitude. Him officially welcoming Grace and Connor into this family like he did with Nora long ago settles me. “Thank you.”
The heartfelt moment is broken by another pounding at the door. Grace tenses. I pull her in for a hug and rub my arms up and down her back to soothe her. “Stay strong for me, Grace. Keep fighting.”
“I’ll never stop,” she vows.
I smile down at her. “I know.”
Allowing myself another minute I hold her in my arms. I breathe her in, and as my eyes close I memorize every detail of her.
It takes more than strength as I let her go. It breaks my heart when I hear the pained whimper leave her lips. And it completely shatters when I take a step away from her.
A force then comes knocking me in the side. Small arms wrap themselves around me. Looking down I see the top of Connor’s head. I ruffle his hair and he only holds me tighter. “All will be good, champ. I promise.”
“Don’t lie to me,” he mumbles. “My sister can’t lie to me and neither can you.”
I wrap my arm around the kid, emotion trying to get the best of me. “I’m not lying to you, champ. I’ll be back. I promise.”
“If you break it I’ll never forgive you.”
“I’m not going to break it.”
He squeezes me one last time and as he looks up at me he wipes away a tear with the palm of his hand. “I’ll take care of her for you.” A young boy that already thinks and acts like a man.
“You promise me to take care of each other until I come back.”
He nods his head. “Until you come back.”
He runs to his sister’s side then. She wraps an arm around him as he tucks himself in her side. And it’s almost surreal how I had closed my heart out a long time ago and yet these two have opened it.
Knowing I don’t have much longer I say the last of my goodbyes, for now.
They all wait in turn. Sticks being first, followed by Rosa, Slater, Pax, Stella, Dex, Haven, and Dani.
Then it comes down to the three people who make saying goodbye that much fucking harder.
Alice steps in my arms, giving me a warm hug with tears in her eyes. “I’m going to be okay, Alice.” She squeezes me harder.
“You don’t deserve this, Oak.” There’s pain in her voice and god, it fucking pains me to hear it. “You deserve to have your peace. You deserve to be happy.”
“They’re not going to keep me from having it, Alice. I promise, okay?”
Pulling back she looks in my eyes trying to detect a lie. And after a moment of studying me there’s a breath of relief from her. “Pinky promise?”
Pinky promise.
Promises she started with Snake when she was just a kid who had wished upon the stars with him.
And even though it may seem ridiculous I hold out my pinky and intertwine it with hers. “Pinky promise.”
She takes a step to the side and Snake and I embrace in a hug, clapping one another on the back. “I’ll break you out if I have to.”
I laugh but the funny part is he isn’t joking. Snake will literally blow a hole in the joint to get me out. “There won’t be any need.”
He hits me not so lightly on the shoulder. A dark glint in his eyes and a mischievous smile on his face. “You depriving me of explosives, Oaky boy?”
“Never.”
“Don’t go missing me. I know you can’t be without me for too long,” he teases and for the first time since the feds arrived outside those doors I let out a genuine laugh.
Only Snake can joke around in serious situations.
He winks at me and I clap him on the shoulder one last time. Stepping back he pulls Alice to his front and wraps his arms around her.
And then there’s one.
Nora stands with her arms protectively wrapped around herself. Her head is downcast. Her foot tapping restlessly against the hardwood floor.
I know she seconds away from losing it. And I refuse to let that happen.
Crossing the room I take her by the shoulders and force her to look at me.
Her eyes meet mine but they aren’t focused, they’re far away.
“Nor, you’re safe, you’re okay. You’re here, you’re okay.
” Her choppy breaths start to come in more evenly.
Finally, the distant look in her eyes disappears. “There you are.”
“Sorry,” she breathes.
I shake my head. “Don’t ever apologize, Nor. You feel what you feel and don’t let anyone shame you for it.”
A small smile tugs on her lips. “You’re always protecting me.”
“And you’re always saving me.” God knows how many times I was close and I just couldn’t do it because of her.
“But I can’t save you from this,” she says sadly.
“You know how you always tell me that I’m your hero,” I say to her. She nods her head. “I’ve never told you that you’re mine.”
“Ethan.” She holds back tears.
“Because you are. You’re my fucking hero.
I admire you so much, Nora, and I hope that one day I can have as much courage and strength as you do in just your finger.
You’re fearless, brave and so fucking resilient.
You’re unstoppable, Nor. A fucking force to be reckoned with.
And there is no one on this god dammed Earth who is prouder of you than me. You’re the true hero.”
“You’re wrong.”
I balk. “Nor-”
“You’re wrong,” she repeats. “He’ll never be able to do that to another girl ever again. He’ll never be able to come near me again or touch me again and that’s because of you. You killed him for me, Ethan. And by killing him you don’t know how many other girl’s lives you saved.”
“But I didn’t save you. What he did-”
Her nostrils flare. “I know very well what he did to me, but I’d rather it had happen to me than anyone else and you want to know why?”
I shake my head knowing what she’s about to do and I don’t think I’m capable of hearing it. I don’t need to hear how I’m somehow the hero to her in all of this. “Don’t, I don’t want to know.”
“Because I had the strength of my brother to help piece me back together. I had the love of a mother to console me on the nights where all I did was cry. And I had the love from two of the most beautiful people on this earth to keep me living another day. Believe me, Ethan, you saved me. You saved me countless of times. So please, don’t ever blame yourself again.
I can’t bare to think that one of the people I love so fucking much who is such an important piece of keeping me going is torturing himself by carrying the burden of a blame for he should not. ”
The inevitable truth bomb she detonates and it explodes everything leaving nothing but casualties. And her sole target, the bomb at which she aimed, thrown right at me.
“So you see, you’re wrong. You’re the hero. You’re my hero. You always have been and you always will be.”
I crash her against my chest and hold her tightly just like when we were kids.
And somewhere deep inside I feel the immense weight lift.
Forgiveness, I feel forgiveness sweep down and lift the weight that has been slowly killing me.
“I love you, sis.”
“I love you, too,” she sniffles.
After what feels like an incredibly short amount of time we let each other go. Taking off her glasses she wipes underneath her eyes with the edge of her sleeves. “I’ll see you soon.”
I nod my head. “I’ll see you soon.”
Taking one final look at everyone I walk out of the dining room feeling completely at odds with myself. Because as my heart feels heavy, leaving them behind to face the unknown, I’ve never felt this light in years.
I’m finally at peace with myself and everything that I have done.
I’m finally forgiving myself for everything in my past.
I’ve made amends with a man I had wrongfully hated.
I have fallen in love with a woman who I can’t imagine my life without.
And I have finally freed myself from the prison I’ve shackled myself to.
So as I open the door to the two agents outside and Agent Astrid Liu tells me I’m under arrest for the murder of Chris Townsend, reading me my rights as she handcuffs me, I’ve never felt freer.