Chapter Four
Skylar Cathal
I wandered along the outer railing of the ship, time passing in a fleeting memory, drifting in a blur like the beat of a hummingbird’s wings.
The sun rose and fell over my head, once and then again, yet I still mindlessly paced. Restless and anxious, I continued my march across the ship. Not even the comfort of food or the aching need for sleep could break me from my trance.
I was adrift, losing myself within the lingering memories of Daxton, the fate of our worlds, and all that I had overcome.
My mind wandered through the different scenarios I could face once I returned to Solace, searching for answers to questions I didn’t know how to form. There was nothing I could do but wait.
And Gods above, I hate sitting and waiting.
The crew was a faint presence in my semi-conscious state of reality.
Thankfully, they kept their distance, parting to grant me access to my weathered path, not daring to interfere.
I was grateful for the space they granted me, for the solitude Fjorda and the crew seemed to understand I needed.
In a tragic stroke of fate, they empathized with my pain, even though they didn’t understand the gravity of the internal demons I was battling.
“I’m going to have to replace the decking if you keep this up,” Fjorda said, standing against the wheel of the ship.
For the first time in days, I stopped pacing and turned to look at him, at anyone. The setting sun cast glowing orange and red rays of sunlight across his face, highlighting the blond speckles in his beard.
“The veil crossing is coming. You should—”
“I should what?” I stared at him with an emptiness in my gaze that forced him to pause.
Fjorda cleared his throat before shifting his stance against the wheel. “I know your pain, Champion,” he said in a whisper. His wild eyes gleamed with a sense of understanding. “Nothing can be done to help alleviate the sorrow you’re carrying in your heart.”
Daxton. In the solitude of our voyage, my mind constantly circled back to him.
“The high prince is strong enough to survive this. He’s already—”
“I know he is,” I said in a pained voice. “I don’t need a lecture about how strong my mate is. I know the odds he has faced. I know what he has struggled to fight against all these years.”
“We all know,” Fjorda replied. “The guilt you carry doesn’t rest solely in your heart. It weighs on your very soul. In that, we are more alike than you might realize. Our pains share a common thread.”
I scoffed and gazed upon the never-ending sea. “My soul feels—”
“Torn, like it’s missing a piece you never realized was ever gone.” Fjorda’s words struck a chord. “The mate bond,” he added, adjusting the wheel before stepping away and fronting me along the railing. “It’s a gift, but also a curse.”
“You speak from experience?”
“I do,” he replied.
I was surprised to learn this about Fjorda. Carefully, I watched the sea captain, anxiously waiting to see if he would share more.
“My mate,” Fjorda spoke slowly, as if the mere mention of her was like a knife to his gut. “She was as wild as the sea herself.”
“What happened to her?”
“The wilt.”
He didn’t need to say any more.
“She became a—”
“Yes,” he answered, hanging his head.
I knew from the grave look on his face that his mate was turned into a fallen, a nalusa falaya. A creature at the mercy of the wilt’s poisonous magic that turned the infected host into something living, yet not alive.
“She’s not gone, just… lost,” Fjorda said. “I wander in this life waiting to find her again, living close to the wild sea that always reminds me of her.”
I longed to offer the captain some form of comfort, but I held back. I didn’t know if we would find her amongst the fallen, or if I was able to bring her back. Using my powers to heal Nyssa had almost killed me.
“You believe you’ll see her again?” I asked.
“I believe I’ll forever seek to find her, and whether it be in this life or the next, I’ll be with her again. I’ve had time to make my peace with this.” He tapped the center of his chest. “The bond brings you together, but your heart, your love, is the true bridge between your souls.”
“You sound like Idris,” I answered.
“Because she also knows from experience.” The winds began to dance, swirling with the presence of wild magic nearing. “Are you ready to put your theory of crossing the veil to the test?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Good,” Fjorda replied, pushing from the railing and returning to his post at the helm. “In that case, as captain of this ship, I’m ordering you to rest and for you to head to your barracks.”
“What?” I drawled, arching my brow.
“The dark circles under your eyes and the growling pit in your stomach over these past two days on the sea do not go unnoticed. You’ve been pacing relentlessly with no food, barely stopping to accept a ladle of water from my crew. Torturing yourself will not alleviate his pain.”
“I’m not—”
“Correct. You’re not anymore,” Fjorda challenged. “It’s enough. You’ll need your strength in the trial to come. Withering away into nothing will not help our cause.”
I glared at him, refusing to accept the roaring pains of my empty stomach and the aching muscles of my feet and legs. Two days. Had it really been two days of my mindless pacing and numbing awareness of everything around me?
“The winds indicate that our crossing is near,” Fjorda said, adjusting the wheel. “We needed to sail the length of the Inner Kingdoms to the northern border. I don’t dare enter the waters of the human lands.”
“Why not the human lands?” I asked.
“Don’t try to change the subject.” Fjorda chuckled as a spray of seawater fell over us from a crashing wave. “Regardless of your station, here on my ship, you follow my command. You’re ordered to return to your barracks and rest.”
I placed my hands on my hips and glowered at him.
“Make that face all you want. It’s not as intimidating as you think, with the roars of your hunger cutting through your silent threats.”
I flinched as my stomach rumbled, clutching at my aching center and finally allowing myself to feel something.
“Go,” Fjorda instructed. “There’s food already waiting for you in the quarters you held during your initial stay aboard my ship.”
I turned to walk away but paused. “What if I can’t sleep? What if I am afraid to?” I confessed, biting my lip to try and keep steady.
“Was it not your dreams that led you to your mate in the first place? Where you found solace and comfort in your times of need?”
I pivoted, looking over my shoulder at the alluring sea captain. “It was.”
“Then allow them to return and comfort you once again.”
I nodded as he bowed his head toward me in farewell.
I turned and began marching toward the rooms Dax, Castor, and I held during our initial stay on the Opal.
Upon opening the door to my small, cozy room, my senses were filled with the amazing smell of fresh food waiting for me, just like Fjorda promised.
Without wasting another moment, I dove into the delicious plate delivered just before I arrived.
The cooked fish and steamed rice soothed the relentless ache in the pit of my stomach.
By the time my plate was devoured, night had fallen upon the sea, and my eyes could no longer keep themselves open.
For two days, I had marched across the ship, locked inside my mind, tormenting myself.
Reluctantly, I lay my head on my pillow, giving in to my exhaustion and allowing my mind to drift into a dream.