Chapter Nineteen
Castor Aegaeon
A flicker of midnight entered my sight, and then… nothing.
The feeling of utter emptiness.
Not even sound existed here.
I wandered around in the abyss of shadows, the absence of hope, light, or anything worth living for.
The only thing driving the breath in my chest was the instinct to survive.
The primal feeling inside all of us that didn’t allow us to give up, even if succumbing to death was the favorable option.
I walked on feet that were not my own, wandering in a field of shadow.
Was this her life as a fallen?
This was not living. This was barely surviving.
Gods above. My heart broke for Nyssa. My very soul ached knowing she had to endure this.
Then suddenly, light began to filter in.
Sound echoed and bounced off my ears amidst the deafening silence of my prison.
I recognized the decay immediately. The territory of the wilt surrounded me, with black veins penetrating the roots of fallen and dead trees.
The land was deprived of the life that once flourished here.
And then, I saw me.
I heard myself yell out for my brother as we attacked the harpies, as Skylar, Daxton, and I all huddled together with ice coating our skin.
A warmth or perhaps a sense of life sparked in my core. The glowing hands of Skylar reached for me, and I slowly began to feel the grip of death loosen its hold until, finally, I was free.
“What’s your name?” I felt my head spin toward that voice that I knew was my own.
I felt a rush of emotion overtake Nyssa. Foreign to her for centuries, while she was in her fallen state. A warmth spread in my center as I stared upward. “You’re safe.”
As Nyssa, tranquility and an absolute feeling of safety encircled me. I knew that as long as I stayed by the silver-haired High Fae’s side, I would be safe.
The vision faded, and I returned to my own body, with Nyssa sitting across from me.
She leaned back, bringing her hands up to sign.
“I see your bravery, Castor. I see someone who conceals their pain with laughs and jokes, so others don’t worry about what they are forced to endure each and every day.
I see silent strength. Someone who is courageous and, above all, loyal to those they choose to love. ”
I stilled, unable to speak.
“You and I,” she began, reaching out to touch my heart and then her own. “I know the burden you carry, for I have lived it.”
“Death,” I whispered, clenching my eyes shut. “I carry death with my every breath. And here near the wilt, it—”
I felt Nyssa’s hand cup my cheek, forcing my eyes to open and meet hers.
“We’re both able to see the beauty that only death can unveil,” Nyssa signed.
My body began to tremble as I looked deep into her eyes, allowing myself to be swallowed and washed away by everything I witnessed through them.
“Nyssa,” I whispered her name.
“The silence,” she signed. “For me, it’s the most difficult part of death when my life before was filled with such beauty.”
I inclined my head, eager to hear more, learn anything more about her. “Tell me.”
“I was eighteen when my gift first appeared. Far later than others, but there was no denying its presence.”
“Your gift?” I asked.
Her half-smile was stunning, and one of the first I had truly seen from her. It made my heart soften.
“My voice.” She traced her fingers along her throat.
My eyes were intently locked on every flex of her beautifully delicate hands.
“When I sing my wordless songs, the emotion from my music is felt by all those who hear it. I can invoke sorrow, joy, and, at times, inspire those who hear.”
I blinked, in awe of the gift she was describing. “It is a gift of the mind to inspire emotion through your music. Were you born in Aelius?”
“Not Aelius, but I was traveling there when—” Her eyes grew distant as she looked away.
On instinct, I reached out to cup her face in my hand, turning her gaze back toward me. “You never need to hide when you are with me, Nyssa,” I declared. “I will help carry your burdens. My strength is yours.”
Could she sense it? Was she able to feel or understand the intent behind my declaration? Why I would gladly sacrifice my own sanity and well-being if it meant she would be safe?
She didn’t move away from my touch or flinch as she had in the past. I swallowed my fears and pushed matters further.
I moved my brow to touch hers, feeling the caress of her smooth skin against mine.
I breathed in her scent that sparked flames of desire in my soul.
She was a survivor, healing in her own time.
I had to respect that. I had to force myself not to give in to my throbbing need that was now painfully pushing against me.
Sensing that this might be the end of my limits, I took one final moment to memorize the feel of her, but as I moved to pull away, her hand threaded into the hair at the base of my neck.
I stilled. Seconds ticked by like years as she shifted her body closer to mine. I swallowed a heavy gulp, my breathing intensifying as my arousal throbbed with my racing heart.
“C–as-t-or.” It was a faint whisper, almost inaudible even at this proximity, but I knew it came from Nyssa.
My name. She hadn’t spoken since Skylar’s healing, and her first word was my name.
I swiftly moved in, swallowing her whispers with my mouth on hers, devouring the forbidden fruit that had been looming over my head for too long. Nyssa’s fingers curled into my hair as she pulled me closer. My mouth opened to taste her, and Gods above, she was delicious.
I reached a hand under the slit of her dress. But I sensed her hesitation, and I immediately pulled back.
“I’m sorry.” I breathed heavily, apologizing for my boldness and giving in to my desires without thinking.
Gods, I wanted her. But I could never force anything she didn’t wholeheartedly desire herself.
She unhooked her hand from behind my head. “Don’t be,” she signed. “It’s just that—”
“It’s me, Nyssa,” I said. “You don’t need to explain anything. I understand, and… I can be patient.”
I had talked about this fact through countless nights with Zola. Like Nyssa, Zola had been infected by the wilt’s magic, and lingering effects from the dark magic were likely still affecting her as they did Zola.
Time and understanding were what Zola had told me. And with the Gods as my witness, for her, I would gladly offer both.
Nyssa’s shoulders relaxed, and a smirk worked its way to the corner of her mouth.
“What are you thinking?” I asked.
She lightly huffed. “I can’t tell you.”
“You also said you just wanted my company for the night, yet…” I trailed off, watching her bite the lip I had the pleasure of savoring only a moment before.
“That was not planned,” she signed with a small grin hiding along the corner of her mouth.
“Sometimes, the best things in life aren’t.” I gazed at her expression, trying to decipher what she was feeling.
“That’s surprising to hear from you.”
“Sometimes, the beauty of the moment is enough,” I said, repeating the words I remembered Daxton telling me after his first kiss with Skylar on the Opal.
I witnessed my brother fall more and more in love with his mate each and every second they spent together, despite the distance he tried and failed to keep between them. I smiled, knowing all too well how he was feeling.
“Do you think I will ever… heal? Will I ever be myself again, Castor?”
I paused, wanting to give her my full attention and honest words.
“Yes,” I told her, believing with every fiber of my soul that she would.
“One day,” I said into the crisp night air.
“One day, something will inspire you enough to sing again, Nyssa. And that day will be one I carry with me for all eternity.”
“Even in death?” she asked.
“Just your whispered word from before…” I paused, steadying myself. “…will be my beacon and strength, forever guiding me toward hope of a brighter tomorrow and a new beginning.”
She stilled, her chest for a moment caught in suspension, and then she signed, “Your words were my light, Castor.”
The world seemed to stop. The unspoken threads woven between us now glimmered when they were once unseen.
“Sleep, Nyssa,” I said, opening my arm in an invitation for her to lean on my chest. “I’ll keep you safe. Your nightmares will not dare invade your dreams while I’m with you.”
To my elation, she granted me a half-smile and molded herself into my frame. The feel of her soft skin and slender curves under my palm ignited my desire. I used every ounce of strength I could because she was worth the wait.
She was worth everything.
“Sleep.” I dared to kiss the crown of her midnight hair.
I felt her nuzzle further into my embrace, and I just about lost all my senses. I clutched her tightly, shifting so she could move closer, closing my eyes, and basking in the feel of her body atop mine.
Soon, Nyssa’s rhythmic breaths indicated she had fallen asleep, and I cherished this tranquil moment tucked beneath the stars, knowing this memory would be one I would carry with me for the rest of my days, however long they lasted.
I gazed at the moon overhead as my thoughts traveled to all those under its same light. My heart ached for my brother and Skylar, knowing their sacrifices to save our world were immeasurable, hoping that everything we planned and worked for would be enough to save them.
To save us all.