CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Within a couple of hours of being in the cell, I became extremely ill. Quynh told me I had seasickness, and if the sea had been a person, I would have stabbed it. I d never been so ill. I was clammy, sweating, dizzy, my head throbbed, and I kept vomiting. I was curled up in a ball in the corner of the cage and had started to consider asking her if she would put me out of my misery.
This will pass quickly, she said.
Why aren t you sick? I asked while shivering.
She put another blanket on top of me. I ve been on ships before, remember? You will adjust. Hopefully sooner than later.
I slipped in and out of consciousness. I heard Demaratus yelling at me several times.
Stupid girl! Get control of yourself. You can fight off this sickness!
At some point I became aware of Jason coming close to the cell and Quynh talking to him.
I pried my eyes open and saw that he was giving her a cup and a bag with food. She needs to eat something. And I ve mixed some powdered ginger with water. It will help with the nausea. Have her drink it.
Are you sure it won t hurt her? she asked.
I ve used it many times, he said. I promise it will help.
Quynh pushed my sweaty hair from my forehead and pulled me up by my neck so that I could drink.
I don t want it, I protested weakly. I don t want his food or medicines.
You re being irrational.
You would be too if your insides were trying to escape through your mouth.
She ignored me and made me drink and eat. The water had a peppery but slightly sweet taste to it. And to my chagrin, it did help. I threw up a fair amount of it, but she was relentless and kept shoving food into me, pouring medicine down my throat. By the next morning I felt more like myself again.
Jason came to check on us while Quynh was still sleeping. I think it had exhausted her, watching over me.
Feeling better? he asked. And you re welcome.
I glared at him.
Ah, there s that look of hatred I know so well, he said as he came over to the cage, sticking his arms inside and leaning against the bars. He passed a bundle through, dropping it onto the ground.
Breakfast, he said.
I briefly considered pulling my sword and slicing him open but didn t want anyone on board to know that I carried weapons. It wouldn t be worth it, even though it would have given me a great deal of satisfaction.
Don t you have anything better to do? I asked him.
At the moment? Not particularly.
Then he stood there, staring at me. The desire to make him bleed increased with each passing moment.
Aren t you hungry? He inclined his head toward the bundle.
I was starving, as I d spent the last twenty-four hours repeatedly emptying myself out.
No.
Then my stomach betrayed me by rumbling loudly.
He laughed. Your body begs to differ.
Yes, my body and I had been having some very different opinions lately. Especially when it came to Jason. I wanted to either ignore him or introduce him to the pointed end of my xiphos; my body wanted to lure him into the cell and have its way with him.
Quynh stirred beside me and grumbled something, but I kept my gaze trained on him.
I reached for the bundle and undid the knot. I couldn t help myself-I gasped when I saw the contents.
Pasteli? I took a bite, closed my eyes, and let out a happy sigh.
When I opened my eyes again, he was wearing an incredulous expression. Why are you so excited about pasteli? It s what soldiers carry in their packs to eat before they go to battle. What sailors bring with them on long voyages. Because it s inexpensive and it keeps well.
I understood what he was saying. That this was a common food and I was behaving as if it were one of the finest dishes ever created. His disdain would not hinder my enjoyment. Thank you for making sure to fatten us up before you lead us to our slaughter.
The smile fell off his face and he nodded, chastened. I ll let you eat.
Why was a tiny part of me disappointed that he was leaving?
When he got a few feet away, he stopped and turned back to face me. Lia, it may not be my place to say anything, but there is something different about you. As a gambling man, I would lay odds that you ll make it.
I snarled, ready to tell him what he could do with his wager, but he turned a corner and was out of sight. A moment later I heard him clomping up the stairs.
Even if he was right and I could reach the temple, I still hadn t come up with a way to make sure that Quynh made it as well. It should only take four or five days to cross the Acheron Sea, and I d wasted one of them being ill.
What could I teach her in a few days? There was no way to train her or to share any of my skills with her. She couldn t fight. Hadn t practiced running several miles every day. Had never faced a man in combat. No one had shot arrows at her so she could keep moving even when she was petrified. What if she shut down completely?
My sister was strong, but she wasn t invincible. I didn t know what to do.
Other than not leave her behind.
What was that about? Quynh asked, her dark eyes blinking at me.
At first I wasn t sure what she meant, given where my thoughts had gone, but then I realized she was talking about Jason. She sat up next to me and stretched.
With Jason? I clarified. He was just bringing us breakfast. Pasteli. You should have some.
I didn t manage to distract her, though.
How do you know him?
I met him. The day of the celebration for Kallisto s betrothal.
She wasn t put off by my casual evasiveness. She studied me before announcing, Something happened between you two.
Were my cheeks red? Had I somehow tipped her off? What would make you say that?
Quynh arched one eyebrow at me. How well I know you.
I should have taken that into account before I d started trying to avoid her question. I met him in the tree courtyard and we might have . . . we kissed.
You kissed an Ilionian? She practically shrieked the words.
Not on purpose!
I just . . . can t believe your first kiss was with an Ilionian.
Neither can I. The thought of it makes me sick.
That wasn t true. The memory of that event excited me, and I wanted to seek him out and do it again. To see if it would be different this time now that I knew who he was.
To find out if I would enjoy it as much.
I suspected that it would be just as intense, just as satisfying, which was concerning because I didn t know what it said about me.
But I could never share any of that with another person. It was far too humiliating to say out loud.
You shouldn t have been alone with a man you didn t know, she said, and I could almost hear my mother s voice, as she had told us the same thing many times over. He could have seriously hurt you.
I . . . My voice trailed off because I realized that once he d stepped out of the shadows, there had never been a moment where I had feared that Jason would harm me.
Maybe that had been due to my naivete or just the power of his kisses, but I hadn t been scared of him. Even when he d held me down and I couldn t move.
Unlike Lykaon, whom I had immediately found terrifying.
You re right, I finally said, since I had sat there in silence for too long. I should have left the moment I saw him. Then I never would have kissed a horrible Ilionian.
They can t all be bad, she said.
They can, I disagreed. Especially Jason. He s transporting us to be hunted.
I wouldn t say that he was taking us to be killed. When I spoke to Quynh about what was coming, I would stay positive for her benefit. Maybe if she believed that she would make it through, then she would.
We re all subject to the same rules, she said. He s no more at fault for this than we are.
That seemed like a weak excuse to me. Someone should stand up against this archaic event.
Someone is. You.
While I hoped my actions might lead to abolishing the tribute, we had no guarantees that they would. I was more focused on restoring Locris. Once that had been accomplished, I could turn my attention to dealing with Ilion and their unreasonable demands.
She said, The next time he comes in here, maybe you should talk to him. He s sought you out more than once now, even though he has responsibilities. I think that says something. That it might be more than just a kiss to him.
I would not let her sentiment move me. And I would ignore the excited shiver that had accompanied it.
Because there was no point. If I made it to the temple, I would become the goddess s servant. When I found the eye and Quynh and I returned home, I would have duties and responsibilities to my nation. I would never be able to marry a simple sailor.
I hated that I felt regret. That part of me wished that I could be an ordinary girl so that I could have entertained a courtship from someone like him.
All it had taken was one moment to put me in this position. If I had made a different choice, if I had left the courtyard instead of staying, I would have removed a layer of difficulty for myself. There wouldn t have been any connection between Jason and me, and I wouldn t have been internally wrestling with the attraction I continued to feel for him.
He had become a distraction, and I couldn t afford any of those right now.
Why do you always look for the good in others? I asked Quynh.
It s a personal failing, she said with a small smile.
I returned it. I suppose it is. You should stop doing that. After a beat I added, You know I don t mean that.
Her generosity of spirit and positivity were two of the best things about her.
I know you don t.
Thinking of how one moment with Jason had altered my life made me think of all the choices, all the twists of fate, that had brought us here to this very moment.
How Quynh s parents choices had inadvertently led to this.
Have you ever wished that you could go back to your parents country? I asked her.
I wouldn t have been able to go there, even if I d wanted to.
We could have hired a merchant to take you.
She shook her head. Our family doesn t have the money to do so. And even if we did, what would I have done when I got there? I would have been surrounded by strangers.
It used to be your home. You might have family there.
Quynh held up her wrist. I might not. My only hope would be that someone would recognize my bracelet and direct me toward my parents families. Because they wouldn t be my family. You, our parents, Kallisto-you are my family. The only one I remember. My home is with you.