Chapter 15 Sawyer
Sawyer
In the middle of the afternoon on the twenty-sixth, I wake with a sore body smudged with blood and numerous bite marks.
I barely recall coming to bed, after he made it his mission to have sex all over the cabin, the bed being the final location.
Here, he skipped drinking to fuck me slowly, with meaning and unnamed emotions.
He held my hands as he drove me to new heights by means of the slowest but somehow most intense release.
After that, I passed out from pure exhaustion around five in the morning.
I’m sore, I’m hungry…but I’m happy.
Except, I’m not entirely content because today is my last day. By tomorrow morning, I’m supposed to be checking out and driving back to Manitoba. Both of which, I’ll need his help to get to a town to figure out.
Lucian, probably sensing I’m awake, starts fiddling with my hair, twirling strands around his finger. I remain still, content, my eyes shut.
“I know you’re awake, little mate.”
Mate?
I twist to face him. Black eyes glint playfully as he tugs on my hair again and repeats, “Stay with me, Sawyer.”
He can’t mean…?
Pulling away, I sit up, dragging the blanket over my chest for protection. “What do you mean?”
He follows me up to place an arm on either side of me. Suddenly, the meager distance I put between us—meant to retain control—is stolen by the intensity of his stare as he crouches over me.
“You know exactly what I mean. There’s a reason I didn’t kill you when finding your accident.
I didn’t understand it then, but I do now.
I’ve spent two centuries wandering without purpose, because it turns out, my purpose hadn’t been born yet.
You’re that purpose, Sawyer. Stay with me, and become mine in every way. ”
There isn’t an ounce of that cockiness in his expression. He’s serious.
The guy—the vampire—I’ve known less than a week changed my life in ways no one else ever has. Yet, staying with him feels like something so much more. Something I shouldn’t be allowed to have without earning it.
“When you say, ‘mine in every way’ do you mean…?”
“I mean you’ll become a vampire.”
My heart tightens from either panic or surprise—maybe even fear. Probably all three. Dark eyes flick to my chest and back with a frown, but he can’t be upset by my reaction…not when he’s asking that of me.
He lets me push him away as I twist off the bed and reach for the nearest article of clothing, which happens to be his shirt—because of course it is. “I loved our time together, Lucian, but I have a life to return to. Jobs and an apartment. Mom, who constantly needs help. I’m human.”
He gets off the bed, stalking me towards the railing, which my hands meld around. For the first time in days, true fear—the kind felt when he trapped me against his door that first day—courses through me. He stops when his feet touch mine, his lip curling.
He’s a hunter. A mythical creature with the strength equivalent to an army of men and the speed of a jet. It should be what I run from, so why am I leaning into him? His offer is insane, but not one I’m immediately denying either.
It’d be hard to forget how only a few days with Lucian changed me. My heart, my soul—they’re not wholly mine anymore.
“You’re human because you hadn’t met me yet. Let me fix that. You hate your life. You work too hard for little gain. Your mother uses you. You’re surviving because everyone in your past has let you down. Let me be the one who fixes that. Let me be your future.”
He’s not wrong about any of that. I’ve been surviving because that’s what being human in the twenty-first century means. We wake, eat, burn ourselves out working in order to pay the bills that allow us to eat and rest our heads, and then do it all again until we die.
I’m not wealthy enough to find meaning in life, like those I’d gone to school with. Having fun in life is a rich person’s advantage.
“Don’t lie and say you feel nothing for me. You’ve gone from fearing me to running to me. You’re as obsessed with me as I am with you. I’ve taken your blood, your body, and your heart. I’ve claimed you, Sawyer, which makes me yours as well. It’s now up to you to decide what to do.”
Immortality would resolve a lot of my issues, but it’d also be a life with Lucian. A life of doing what we’ve been doing.
A lifetime to fall in love and experience that love.
His hands come down on top of mine. “I’ll show you the entire fucking world. Every corner, every country. We’ll travel together, fucking and feeding on one another to our heart’s content.”
His head dips again, sniffing the air between us before a rumble gives away what I’ve been trying to hide.
The desire that idea stoked.
“You definitely can’t lie. You like the idea of being with me forever.”
“Yes,” I find myself admitting in a small voice. “It might be fucked up, but I like you, Lucian.” Maybe even more than like if it’s possible to already. “But how do I know you won’t be bored of me in a few decades?”
“You’re the only one I’ve ever longed to keep around. I knew you were mine the moment I found you. It was an instant obsession, and a vampire’s obsession never ends, Sawyer. One way or the other, I’m yours for eternity. It’s all I want. It’s up to you if you’ll join me.”
He straightens, posing his hand palm up for me to take—a symbolic offer to accept his proposal.
“I’ll still need to go home. I can’t just disappear from life without quitting. Someone will think I was kidnapped or killed.”
He stares for five long seconds before grinning. “So, you’re agreeing.”
“No, I’m thinking about it.”
Because I can’t give up life to be with him…right? It’d be insanity to spend eternity with a man I just met. To become a vampire—something I’ve only recently learned is real.
Besides, maybe my connection to him is all this mountain air; it has less oxygen than back home and could be messing with my head. Only days ago, a moose slammed into my car and then I found myself wrapped up in a whirlwind romance with a vampire who’s become my obsession.
Distance will tell me if Lucian was simply another form of the wanderlust I’ve been chasing. Another form of the ethereal mountains and landscape of this holiday trip that drew me in with its tempting beauty and promise of feeling larger than reality.
Or if he’s the real thing.
“Tomorrow, could you stick to your original deal and bring me to a town, so I can figure out how to get home?”
Red flickers in his eyes before he dips his chin, his jaw tightening with irritation. “If that’s what you wish.”
“It is.” I reach up to brush aside hair, tucking strands behind his ear. “We have today still. I’ll go downstairs to shower and cook, and then I’ll come back.”
He holds my palm against his cheek. “Hurry. I have more plans for you.”
The next evening, Lucian carries me to the edge of Jasper before slipping a credit card into my hand. “Pay whatever you need to, to get home.”
An immortal world wanderer owns a credit card. There’s so much about it that doesn’t line up, like what address he’s using for the account, but asking isn’t really the point.
“How will I get it back to you?”
His arms slide around my hips, and he tugs me against him.
“You and I are far from done—a fact you’re aware of, but running from.
Once you realize mortality isn’t for you any longer, I’ll be there.
For now, since you’re so insistent on playing human for a bit longer, get home safe.
I refuse to lose my mate now that I’ve found you. ”
He rubs a thumb over one of the numerous bite marks on my neck, most of which remain hidden by my outer layers. “I never agreed. I said I’d think about it.”
“You already thought about it. Your argument was to go home and end your human life on paper so you can disappear with me. You only then decided to process your newfound desires because you feel it’s too soon.
But you know it in here.” He lowers his hand to rest over my chest, but then taps my temple. “It’s here that’s the issue.”
He doesn’t know that for certain. I don’t know it for certain.
When I’m home, things may be different. Maybe I won’t have these intense feelings for Lucian.
Maybe he’ll never come for me. He’ll wonder why he played house with a human and return to exploring every corner of the world, while I return to my shitty, mortal life.
And I’ll miss him.
As cars pass to enter the small, picturesque town of Jasper, Lucian lowers his head into my neck. His nose drags over the various bite marks, then his teeth. Gently, his fangs prod the marks until I shiver, despite his hoodie warming my body beneath my coat.
His hoodie. His card. His marks. I see what he’s doing.
No matter what happens next, I’ll forever be grateful.
I came out here with the intention of experiencing a beginning and ending of a mountain vacation.
Instead, my plans took a sharp swerve off the road and formed a new middle.
It’s another reason to go home. By remaining out here, my very self-determined vacation feels unfulfilled.
“What will you be doing in the meantime?”
“Hunting.” His teeth flash a final time before they return to his gums. Even the sight of them has jealousy unfurling in my stomach, imagining the people in the town behind us, all of whom would serve his needs. “Not food,” he adds, as if reading me. “Fulfilling a promise.”
He spoke only limited about his experiences with other vampires, but I suppose, before he stumbled upon me, he too had a life. Apparently promises to fulfill.
“What are you hunting?”
“A person. You should go, unless you’d like to hunt with me.” His eyes flash suggestively.
“Not yet,” I whisper, knowing very well his enhanced hearing will pick up the unspoken agreement within those words.
Instead, I back away with a final wave. His gaze remains on me as I walk up the slight slope, towards the town’s entrance. There, I turn around to find Lucian gone, officially ending my winter vacation.
Except it feels so far from being complete, as my heart and soul remains in the mountains.