Chapter 15
CHAPTER 15
A knock tapped upon the other side of the door of the en suite bath of the main guest room of Chateau Briac.
The gentle noise startled Tilly who was buried deep underwater in the huge marble bathtub below a skylight opening to the starlit night above. Her body relaxed after the animated evening at Ren and Rosalie’s.
“You have everything you need?” Cass asked her from the bedroom.
“Yes.” She ran her hand through the warm water. “I’m in the bath.”
“Oh.”
“Come in.” Feeling cozy, she found herself inviting him as she sank deeper into the honey-vanilla-scented water, the foam covering her chest. The diffusing glow from the vanity lights and assortment of fat ivory candles, as well as the green plants scattered around the place, added to the relaxation of the experience.
She absolutely loved baths. Never had time for them in any of her busy foster households as a child. Someone was always shouting for the bathroom anytime she’d try to escape for a little peace. And they didn’t have baths at the dorm in college. Just showers.
She’d taken a bath nearly every day after work the first year she’d moved to her cottage in Hyannis. She had finally felt like her own person with that small luxury.
As Cass opened the door, his smile arrowed straight at her heart.
Blast, that man was handsome. With his strong jaw and the always-present twinkle in his eyes. His tall, sinewy body meant for sin. A shiver carried all the way to her toes.
He’d shared her bath that morning after that first night together, thoughtfully washing her hair, before nibbling at her neck, kissing her shoulders, and more. Once they had indulged in the tension that had built between them during the entire weekly recording session, they truly hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other.
She stifled a sigh at remembering how his body had felt under her touch. Lean and long but with muscles in all the right places.
“Comfortable?” The candlelight softened as he leaned against the counter.
“I feel so much lighter in water.” She leaned her head back upon the bath pillow and folded her arms over her chest. “I could live in here until the birth.”
“You might shrivel into a raisin after a while.” He grinned at her in that familiar low-key expression of his, making her feel just a little bit more at ease.
“I don’t care.” She shrugged but beamed back at him. This luxurious bathroom was the ultimate in comfort. She never wanted to leave this place.
He strode leisurely across the natural stone flooring and took a seat on the wide white marble rim bordering the bath. His long legs stretched ahead of him.
“You’re safe here.”
He was so obviously able to read the underlining apprehension that had never quite left her since the failed abduction.
“I know.” She rested one hand on her belly and offered him a brave expression. “I still have to go through the delivery.”
“Are you worried about that?”
“Yes and no. I mean I know it’s the most natural thing in the world, but it’s not easy.” She thought about it for a moment. “Rosalie is great. Very comforting. And I’ll meet my birth coach this week so that will help. And also Caro, the local healer. But changing plans like this at the last minute is a bit of a jolt.”
“What plan did you and Rosalie settled on?”
“There’s a birth center out at Bois-Franc Village hospital, with an OB-GYN Rosalie works with when there are complications. It’s perfect. Just a ten, fifteen-minute drive from here. No need to go all the way to Montreal.” Voicing her decisions out loud like this made her feel more in control of her pregnancy. “I haven’t decided if I’ll go for drugs or a whole natural birth. I was still undecided in Hyannis and Rosalie made some good points for both.”
“I can’t imagine what that’s like.” He leaned forward and took her hand. “The birth and all that. Sorry you don’t have your Cape Cod friends here to assist you.”
“They are very sad. But I called them earlier. They’re happy I’m here with you. The father.”
“Ah.”
“They hated you for a while, you know.”
“Did they?”
“Well, I didn’t tell them much but…”
“They thought I abandoned you.”
“Yeah.”
“They’re good friends.”
“They are.” She thought about the early days of her pregnancy for a moment. How her friends had rallied around her. “I should have told you.”
“I missed the whole pregnancy, but I swear, Till,” he said firmly, “I will be there with you when our child is born.”
She nodded.
“As long as that’s what you want.” His intense expression eased. He did care about her preferences. “If I’m a burden, then I won’t. But it is my child, too.”
“What do you want?” She still didn’t know if he was sticking around because of the baby, her, or just because it was the right thing to do.
And what about love? They’d had passionate sex, sure, made some kind of arrangement for the baby, but did they even care about each other?
What did she want? Did she care for him?
“I want to be there. No doubts.” His gaze showed nothing but absolute conviction.
“Then you will be.”
He grinned and, for a moment, he looked like a little boy who had just been given the moon.
He’d been correct when he’d said he wasn’t always in the limelight. As she witnessed his family dynamic tonight, she saw that his brothers certainly didn’t revolve around him.
And there was love in this family for real, but his choice of being a musician definitely garnered him some teasing. She wondered if maybe their dismissal had pushed him to excel at pleasing his fans.
It had to be hard to be noticed with brothers like his, each formidable in their own way.
“And your tour?” She recalled he had to be in Germany on her due date.
“Right.” He dropped her hand to rake his hair with a sheepish expression.
Her happy mood took a slight dive. How could he be a dad while also touring the world for his music?
“I can’t just follow you around with an infant, Cass.” She had to bring him back to Earth.
“I know.” He rubbed the back of his neck, apparently conflicted.
“See why I asked you to leave me that day?” she stressed. “I cannot be the dutiful celebrity wife that tags along like a faithful pet.”
“Mathilda…”
“I mean it. I have a career. I’ll return to it after the baby is born, and when I’m no longer at risk from crazy sorcerers.”
“You want to go back to Hyannis Sound? Leave me behind?” A trace of emotion was present in his closed expression, his jaw tight.
“Behind where? You have no home.” She had spent her whole life building herself one. And here he was, on the road all the time. Never in the same place. Could this even work?
“ This is home,” he insisted.
“What? Montreal? Or Briac Falls?” she pressed.
He exhaled deeply. “The house we’re buying. In Westmount.”
“The one your assistant chose?” She gave him a small, sarcastic smile.
“Well, yeah. I suppose. But she’s good at doing these things.” He was trying to win her over with his charisma.
“She chose well, yes,” she admitted. “It’s nice, no questions. But it’s not yours, or mine. This here actually feels more like home. Your family…”
“Here? In Briac Falls?”
“I like it here.”
“It’s the mountain air,” he said. “It certainly is nice. I do stay here most of the time when I’m in the area. Away from fans.”
“I’m used to the coast, but I like the mountain,” she mused. “The river by your brother’s cabin. It’s so peaceful.”
“Wait until you see the falls.” He leaned closer to her along the bath rim. “We should go tomorrow. With the autumn colors it’ll be gorgeous. Maybe take a picnic if it’s sunny.”
She noticed he hadn’t addressed the big question hanging awkwardly between them. Were they dating now? Or just platonically co-parenting.
“What are we doing, Cass?” She slid deeper into her bath.
“What do you mean?” He wasn’t following.
“What is this? You and me. Here. Talking about a future together.”
“ Our future,” he insisted forcefully. “And the future of our child.”
“That’s the problem, right here.” She pursed her lips with frustration. “Why imply there is a future between us? I have a career, you’re on tour or recording all the time. We can co-parent, plenty of people do that. But how will that work?”
“Co-parent? Would that be good for the child?”
“Well, we positively won’t have the two of us at the dinner table every night, with a picket fence and Sunday family dinners. But co-parenting would be better than what I ever grew up with.” She cringed. She was trying to appear confident but inside she wasn’t. Yes, an amicable partnership for parents was better than bouncing between foster homes, but not what she had always dreamed of for a family. She had wanted the picnics and birthday parties. Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas morning with matching pajamas under the tree.
“You want me to quit the music so we can be together all the time?” He seemed dead serious as he asked the question.
“No!”
“Is that what it would have taken for us to remain together after our time in Hyannis?” He continued in a hoarse tone. “Me quitting the band and music?”
She rubbed her palms over her knees below the water. And shook her head.
No. There was no solution. She did want him. No doubt. But what exactly did she feel for him? Lust for sure. Love? She had never experienced love.
Never had anyone, certainly not family, love her. She had no idea how it should feel.
He scootched closer to her and picked up a lock of her hair. “Till, what are you really so afraid of?”
Suddenly feeling vulnerable next to his imposing presence, she looked up at him, at his handsome jaw, and deep dark-brown eyes filled with nothing but care for her.
Her eyes welled with emotions.
“Being left behind.” She gazed down at her belly as she finally admitted the truth. “I guess I feel that the baby and I will be left behind.”
“I am not your birth parents, Tilly.” He kneeled beside the bath and gently lifted her chin toward him. “I will never abandon you and our child.”
“I know,” she said, capturing his deep brown gaze.
After seeing him with his family and hearing all the stories, she knew she had misjudged him. This was a tight-knit group of people who didn’t give up easily and fought for those they cared about. He would not leave her.
He slid his hand behind her neck and bent down to her level, his face was inches from her. “God, ma belle . I missed you so much. When you told me never to call…”
She closed her eyes. Her pulse raced under his capable touch.
“I missed you, too,” she whispered, looking back at him.
“You did?” His lips curled into a half-smile.
“Yeah.” She couldn’t say more as their gazes connected so deeply it took her breath away. She wanted to forget all her reasons for why he was not the right partner for her and just feel him. Be with him.
“May I kiss you now? You know I’ve been holding out since I saw you in that crowd behind the Bell Center.”
She nodded, unable to utter another word.
His lips were warm and insistent. Both gentle and forceful at once.
She gave back as much as she got. Hooking both hands to the top of his spine as his Celtic cross hit her bare throat.
Water splashed on his band shirt, and he grinned against her lips.
“That’s the passion I remember,” he said, pulling back a little. His dark gaze on her was smoldering, stirring a heap of sensations in her core.
She tilted her head back at him. “We made quite a mess of that cottage that night.”
“We did.” He stared at her, as if waiting for her to say something. Maybe how much she did actually care for him.
He traced the side of her neck, and gently, slowly, let his palm go lower. He softly cupped one of her aching breasts.
She held her breath tight, dizzily feeling all kinds of sensations. And mixed feelings.
“I’m going to be a mother, Cass,” she finally said, pulling back from him a little and sinking again below the bath foam.
“Does that mean you can’t be passionate as well?” He reluctantly let her go and sat back at the edge of the bathtub. “It doesn’t change who you are.”
“Maybe. I don’t know.” Her pregnancy made her feel weak, needy, so unlike her confident self. She hated that.
“It will be just another part of you. There’s going to be responsible-you now, but passionate Tilly will always be there.”
“You think?” The gentle touch on her chest had left her warm and wanting.
She died to have him take her. In this exact moment. Around and inside her. But she was also carrying life, and she didn’t know how to reconcile the two situations. If he had been there from the beginning of the pregnancy, maybe. But he had not.
“Cass…”
“What?”
“When I told you to stop calling me…”
“Yes?”
“It was the hardest thing I have ever done,” she breathed. “And you know my background.”
He exhaled slowly, reaching to touch her. He slid his fingers up through her hair, his thumb stroking her jawline in a soft tantalizing motion.
“I had never let go like I did with you.” She’d had dates with Hyannis’s locals, a few boyfriends in college. But nothing so passionate as her weekend affair with Cass.
He nodded, his attention fully on her.
“What we had, it scared me.”
“It shouldn’t.”
“Shouldn’t it?” Her brows furrowed. “I mean, we barely know each other.”
“I know enough,” he protested, his hand cupping her cheek.
“What’s to stop you from leaving us after a while, once the novelty wears off.” No matter what she wished in her heart, her brain would never let go of that idea. People changed. Nothing was permanent.
“Tilly.” He snorted and pulled his hand back, as if insulted by her suggestion.
“Well, I read the tabloids,” she reasoned, giving credit to her deep-seated fear.
“You’re in the business,” he insisted. “You know none of it is true.”
“There’s always a hint of the truth.”
“You’re making yourself believe this. Because it’s easier.” His tone had turned harsher. His pinched expression inferring at his frustration.
“What the heck are you talking about?” She lifted her chin at him.
“It’s easier for you to paint me as the big bad baby daddy who will leave you than actually try to make this work.”
“Make what work? You’re in Germany on my due date.” The water line rustled at her exasperation. She had plenty of examples to show that she couldn’t count on him to be in their child’s life forever.
“I’m not there yet, am I?” He raked his hair back. “I’m here. With you. In my brother’s house. Trying to shield you from anyone who would lay a finger on you. I’m here, with you, trying to make this work.”
“Oh my god, Cass.” And she didn’t know if it was his words, each one of them true, or the past couple of days compounded with her hormonal body, but her eyes suddenly filled with big fat tears.
She brought her hand to her face as her throat swelled. The next thing she knew she was sobbing uncontrollably.
“Cass,” she said between crying, “I don’t know. I really don’t know.”
“ Chérie …” He leaned closer to pat her hair. His voice purred with soothing tones. “You’re exhausted. Come out of this bath.”
He reached for the huge terrycloth sheet behind him before helping her up and wrapping her in the lavender-scented fluffiness. He pulled her into his strong arms and onto the thick bathmat, her body dripping all over his jeans. His masculine scent was all around her, comforting her frayed nerves.
She stood there, her face buried across his solid, wide chest, crying her heart out as he slid his hand back and forth along her back. His steady heartbeat resonated reassuringly against her cheek.
“Let it all out, sweetie.” He dropped a kiss on her temple. “It will all be okay.”
Her body hiccupped against his as she took some deep ragged breaths between heavy sobs.
“You are not alone, chérie ,” he said, resting his chin on the top of her head. “You will never again be alone. I’ll be by your side. With our family and soon our little one, too.”
He bent down to her level and clasped her damp cheeks between his hands.
“You’ll see, ma belle. We’re a family together. All of us. And you are part of that.”
She pursed her lips, trying not to cry again, and nodded. She had to believe him. Not just for her sake but for her baby. She couldn’t let her child grow up without family as she did.
He kissed her wet face, her eyes.
“We’re together, okay,” he promised. “We’ll see this through.”
“Yes.” She tried a feeble smile.
“You don’t have to figure it all out tonight,” he said, raising his brows.
She nodded valiantly before chuckling to hide the turmoil inside her.
He dropped a fast kiss on her forehead and then wrapped her into his strapping embrace again. “Tonight, you just rest, yes?”
“Yes.” It felt good to lean on someone. She’d tried to be brave since she’d been abducted, but she was a mess inside. She was far from the home she had built for herself, away from all she knew, and fully responsible for one tiny life. But Cass was now making her feel like she could rely on him for support.
“You trust me?” He was dead serious.
“Maybe.” She sighed. Would she ever be able to rely on him fully?
“Well, that’s a start.” He seemed okay with her answer and finding her pregnancy nightgown on the chrome shelf by the counter, he pulled the warm garment down over the towel. He then took the towel off while keeping her privacy before scooping her off the floor. “And right now, mama, you put your feet up, you don’t worry about a thing, and you rest.”
She leaned her head against his chest as he strode from the bathroom and into the guest room to the large canopy bed of dark woods and claret velvet drapes.
He laid her on the mattress and helped her weary body under the thick, heavy wool blankets. “You get some sleep, okay. I’ll sleep in the guest room right next door. This place is a hundred percent safe. I promise.”
“Cass.” She clutched his forearm. “Stay.”
Shock registered on his face, and he paused, surprised by her ask.
Pleasure lit his eyes, and he nodded.
Without a word, he kicked off his leather boots, dropped his pants and removed his vintage band T-shirt. Wearing nothing but black silk boxers, he slid under the top blanket beside her.
He gathered her in his arms, keeping a flannel sheet between them.
And all the while awaking deep feelings that she wasn’t sure she was ready to admit.