17. Delphine
We’d turnedhours into days, days into months, and now we were back to hours.
Time was a fickle thing, in faerie.
It could be against you, but if you could harness it, you could make even time bend to your will. Icarus had taught me that. Icarus had taught me many things.
Perhaps the most important thing he’d taught me, though, was how cruel and twisted this world could be. That try as we might to do the right thing, there was so much more wrong in it than good. In a world as cruel and twisted and wrong as this, it was a rare thing to find something pure, something innocent, something untouched and untainted—even by something so simple as foresight.
Nyx was one of those rare things.
In my time trapped in that realm, the depths of a dark hell, I’d come to see that better than ever.
Nyx had betrayed me more times than any other being—human or fae alike—and yet he’d always done it unselfishly. He’d always done it for me, not against me.
I had little doubt that Nyx would find a way to betray me again, given the chance, but he’d have to be given the chance, first. It was a chance he’d be lucky to have, because where he was headed next, not many chances were guaranteed.
That was why I sought him out in the little guaranteed time I had left, too.
I found him in a secluded garden, an oasis within the stone and sand that had sprung up at his bidding, as it once had in the prison of the Starlight Court. The trees and flowers bowed towards him as if he was the sun, not yet risen. He sat in the middle of his summoned sanctuary, legs crossed with palms resting gently on his knees. His eyes were closed and his head tilted skyward, hair tumbling down his back where vines carefully braided tiny strands along the crown of his head at their own bidding.
This secret garden of his drew in moisture that was absent in the rest of this sandy court, the air itself dropping several degrees as soon as I crossed the threshold at the very edge of the dripping foliage. The leaves of the vines and trees seemed to whisper to one another, and to Nyx, in voices so soft I couldn’t make out the words, only the sense of spoken secrets.
It was such a serene scene that I dare not disturb it at first. I felt wrong, looking in as the vines plaited the curls back from Nyx’s pretty face. He looked at peace here, in his magic-made kingdom where the flora looked just as sentient as he and I.
I’d never seen Nyx’s court with all its glamour. I imagined this was just a small view into how alive the Woodland Court really was.
I stood on the edge of the courtyard, on the very line where the dry desert air collided with the cool breeze Nyx had summoned. Butterflies fluttered overhead, their wings shimmering gold and bronze between the blink of fireflies. As silent as I thought I stood, I was not still enough, however. Perhaps it was the slight shift of my feet, scraping sand and rustling grass. Perhaps it was the soft sight of my breath catching in my throat. Or, perhaps, it was the still-quickening beat of my heart as I watched the fae prince sat so still before me.
Nyx’s eyes fluttered open, the fingers of vines retreating as he turned his head to look at me. The moment he saw me standing there, at the edge of the moonlight, his face lit up. Still, a pang of guilt had me stammering out an apology for interrupting his moment.
“I’m so sorry, I just…I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
“You could never disturb me, Delphine,” he said, beaming. “I was just thinking about you.”
His words made butterflies erupt inside me, too, matching the flutter of those dancing up above. Nyx slid to the side, slightly, amongst the thick clover that had sprung up to cushion the ground. His wooden arm motioned for me to come sit beside him, and even as he did, the clover sprouted thicker, as if in preparation for me.
Only then did I approach on soft steps, careful not to disturb the scene laid out before me. I wanted Nyx to have his hours to himself, but I couldn’t let him go on without telling him the thoughts that refused to be silent in my mind.
The damp grass caressed my ankles as I made my way through the greenery to sit beside him, carrying with it their own kind of whispered secrets. The dew left wet trails across my skin that tingled, as if the water itself carried that same kind of sentience. The air was rich with the scent of jasmine and honeysuckle. It enveloped me like an embrace of its own, welcoming me into Nyx’s miniature domain.
I settled beside the Woodland Fae as he watched me with his emerald eyes, so close that our shoulders brushed. He didn’t lean away from the touch. On the contrary, he leaned into it, pressing the warmth of his body into mine as if on pure instinct. No sooner had I sat down than he was leaning his face into the back of my neck, nestling his nose into my hair, and breathing deeply the scent I’d carried in of my own. From the sigh that passed between his lips, it was as intoxicating to him as his floral notes were now, to me. In this close proximity, it wasn’t just the flowers that I scented, but that musk of damp earth and the sharp tang of new sprouts, too. He was a creature of the earth, of the ground, of life itself here in Avarath, and the scent of it left me as heady as any faerie wine.
As soon as I settled, I felt a prickle at the back of my head and froze for a second as those finger-like vines began braiding my hair, too.
I could feel a tension start to ease from within me, starting at my temples and spreading to my shoulders and spine as the tiny, soft movements relaxed my body. Such small pleasure should not have been able to soothe that great weight that had settled on me in the past months, but somehow, they did—if even just the slightest. It was enough to make a soft sigh slip from my lips as my eyelids fluttered half shut involuntarily and my head fell back a bit, the twinkle of the fireflies breaking the darkness of the night, sparkling like tiny pinprick stars floating close enough to reach out and touch. The thrum of life in this place of Nyx’s creation wove a kind of spell of its own. My hands found their way into the thick bed of clover, fingers digging into the cool leaves, grounding me.
“Nyx,” I began, voice barely above a whisper so that I didn’t break that subtle spell. “I’ve been thinking about you, about us, about everything that’s happened.”
I let out another soft sigh. “I’ve been thinking a lot.”
My words hung there for a moment before I turned to look at him fully. Seated there, beside me, his warmth radiating into me, it was hard to find my next words. He watched me with wide eyes, so open and unguarded, that they brought my own guard down, too.
“I know we’ve been through a lot, Nyx …” I continued. “Too much, really. We’ve been through more than our fair share of trials and tests. The betrayals, they hurt, they really hurt, but still…”
I trailed off for a moment, eyes searching his own for any of the same pain that I felt. “Still, despite it all, I can’t help but believe in you, in this … thing between us. I can’t help but think that whatever it is you and I share, it’s greater than all that.”
Nyx’s hand found mine in the grass, hot amidst the cool vapor of his oasis.
“Everything that I’ve ever done was for you, Delphine,” he said, slowly, carefully, even as a twinge of something like pain pulled at the outer corner of his eyes. “But that doesn’t mean what I did was right. I regret it. All of it. I wish I could do something, anything, to set it right.”
Overhead, the fireflies surged even brighter, just for a moment.
For a second, together, we looked up at them as our words hung heavy between us. The brightness of the lights dulled, and in the darkness that fell instead, was the even heavier reminder of what Nyx had already done in the pursuit of setting things right.
Lead settled in my stomach.
Nyx’s deal had bought me back my brother, or soon would, but it had cost me something just as great.
It had cost me him.
Nyx was already looking at me when I turned back.
“I know you regret it,” I whispered. “And I know you can’t change it. We have to live with that now, forever.”
For the first time, Nyx looked a little unsure of himself. His voice cracked when he replied, something deep and full of sorrow swimming in the depths of his green eyes.
“I don’t like what the path forward looks like,” he admitted. “But I do know one thing. The only part that I regret about my deal with Deimos is it means that you and I have to be parted.”
A rush of emotion filled me, so overwhelming that tears began to prickle in the corners of my eyes. Something thick and choking cloyed at the back of my throat, drowning out any words I might have in reply.
Good thing Nyx didn’t need one. He saw everything he needed on my face, felt it in the rush of heat that flooded the surface of my skin.
I didn’t feel the moment I decided to reach for him, only the moment he pulled me flush against his chest. His hands wrapped into the hair at the nape of my neck, drawing me close enough for him to crush his lips against my own. My hips pressed into him, closing every space between us until there was none left. He tasted of honey and faerie wine, though neither of us had been drinking. His very breath was intoxicating as it mingled with mine.
His lips were soft, but the intention behind them anything but. My hands dug into his back, nails biting into the muscle as if clinging to him could stop the inevitable. It was desperate and messy and rushed, but it was ours. This moment, here together, it was all we had.
The vines in my hair tightened just a little, but not enough to hurt. They snaked loose only to wrap around me and Nyx, binding my arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss further. Nyx’s own hands slid down my back and over my hips so he could drag me even closer, even tighter to him. We shifted together until I was straddling his hips properly, my own body now firmly positioned over the hardening length of him. Nyx groaned softly into my mouth at the feel of me, too, and rocked against me until I returned the favor with a desperate gasp.
The feel of him sent a shiver down my spine that only grew with each successive grind of his hips against me. Another moan, this one deeper, more feral, escaped me again as his tongue found his way past my lips and his hands dug deep beneath my skirts instead of playing at the hem.
I knew we were all but out in the open, displayed for any of the Sand Court to see or hear, but I didn’t care if every one of them—if the whole of Avarath witnessed us at that moment. All I cared about was us, about this moment, about not losing the last bit of time promised to us in this life or the next.
Nyx’s fingers finally hitched up the last of my skirts and dug instead into the hot flesh of my inner thigh, leaving a trail of fire wherever they touched, the mere brush of his fingers making me tremble. My shaking body was all the prompting he needed for his fingers to search deeper within until they slipped inside me, teasing a moan out of me as the blush on my skin deepened.
I met his gaze with heavy-lidded eyes.
“Nyx …” I moaned his name this time, rocking against his hand as his fingers moved inside me, finding that spot that made my toes curl and my hips arch forward.
“You’re so beautiful like this,” Nyx whispered, his eyes wide and starry as he looked at me. He looked at me like other fae looked at him, like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. “You’re so fucking beautiful, wet and wanting for me,” he purred. He pressed his face close to the side of my neck so that his lips met my ear, nibbling at my earlobe and letting hot breath warm my skin as his grip on me tightened, his fingers diving deeper.
I rocked into his touch greedily, begging for more of him until the last semblance of my own control crumbled alongside his.
“Delphine,” it was his turn to moan, “I need you, all of you.”
His body was impossibly hard beneath me, straining against the trousers so rudely still remaining between us. I could feel it beneath the softness of the fabric, knew that with only a few swift movements we’d be skin-to-skin, but somehow the thought made me hesitate—not because I didn’t want Nyx, but because I wanted him so much. All of the hate, all the betrayal, all the spite and frustration had pent up and turned into something different. Something more. Something that was all-consuming in a way that made me want to savor the moment now that it had come. Now that it was here, I never wanted it to end. It was selfish, I knew, but how could I not when time was so against us once again?
Nyx seemed to read my mind, because he pressed even closer to me.
“Please,” he breathed in my ear, the single word a whispered confession.
It was all I needed for any hesitation I felt left to vanish.
My hands found the laces of his trousers and helped push them down until the length of him was finally free. A new heat rushed through me as I sank down on him in one fluid motion, giving into that fire as I tightened my legs around him. His eyes closed in ecstasy as his lips parted in a swear, my own desire causing me to bite my lip so hard it drew blood. Together, we both breathed a shaky sigh of relief as he filled me up completely.
Nyx opened his eyes then, breathing another swear as his eyes darkened. “I never want to leave you. I want to stay here, like this, inside you forever.”
We both knew it was impossible, but knowing that only filled the both of us was a new kind of frenzy. Nyx’s hands found their way around my hips again, lifting me up and then back down on him so he was buried even deeper inside of me. His fingers dug into the tender flesh of my flushed skin as we moved faster in a frantic rhythm. The vines in my hair tightened around me, pulling my head back and offering my neck to him, which he kissed greedily with sighs of ecstasy.
“Delphine …” he panted, “Delphine … I … I…”
He was unable to find the words, but I didn’t need him to say them.
“It’s okay,” I managed between my own shuddering breaths. I pulled free of the vines so I could look into his face again. “I feel it too.”
Nyx kissed me again, but this time it was different.
He kissed me, and he didn’t stop. Neither of us did, not until the very last of our breaths had been spent and we collapsed against each other, panting heavily.
The vines loosened the last of their grip on us, but neither of us cared anymore. We were strangers in a borrowed bedroom, not two fae caught in the throes of passion where they shouldn’t have been. All that mattered was here and now, and this moment between us. The rest of the world could wait—never had I felt more alive than I did right there with Nyx’s arms around me.
“I love you,” I said quietly once I found my voice again, resting my head against his shoulder.
Nyx’s hold on me tightened, “I know,” he replied simply, still breathless himself. “I love you, too. I will love you forever.”