18. A Very Merry Girl Squad Christmas
DECEMBER 2040
DURING CHAPTER 24 IN NOBODY LIKE US
We listened to "Super Trouper" by ABBA and "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Judy Garland while writing this scene.
Character List:
Winona Meadows - 16
Vada Abbey - 16
Kinney Hale - 16
Audrey Cobalt - 15
**
KINNEY HALE
“THIS YEAR HAS been complete shit,” I record on my phone. “Royal garbage, really. Between my sister and Mom being attacked and now the death in the family, I’m just ready to call it. Put 2040 in the grave already.” I sigh heavily. “Anyway, I probably won’t do another one of these this year. So until next time.” I give a dry half-smile and throw up a peace sign. “This is your favorite blahblahblah—Kinney Hale.”
I end the video. Don’t even know why I bothered making one tonight. I’m not in the mood. Christmas Eve should bring me some cheer, but it’s been hard to muster joy, even being at the lake house. The three other bunkbeds in the room are empty while I occupy the bottom one near the door.
I hear clamoring outside it. But it could be from numerous people. The lake house is crammed, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Salem lounges beside me, her eyes open. She woofs like she knows I’m wallowing, and I hug her tight. “I know, I know.” They’re okay.
Mom. Luna.
I should be so full of gratitude that they weren’t taken from me, but I’ve been so angry instead. Bitter. It’s just not fair that horrible things keep happening to my family.
Now with the funeral…
I hate death.
I really do.
Glancing at the door, I wonder when my friends will be back. Winona, Vada, and Audrey had to grab something from the car, so I stayed behind to record my video diary. It took me ten whole minutes just to think of one thing to say.
Just as I contemplate finding them, the door blows open.
Three girls spill in with giggles, and I start to smile. Like me, they all wear holiday-themed pajama bottoms and baggy oversized sweatshirts. I’m in all black, but my sweatshirt has red poms.
Audrey ditched her usual pink and teal fir tree PJ set. This year, she opted for red plaid flannels, which contrasts her red hair.
“The contraband has been secured,” Winona proclaims, hiking the duffel strap higher on her shoulder. She’s struggling with the weight, and Vada helps take the load off.
It looks like they’re carrying a dead body.
Death. It’s on the brain big time.
“Are you sure Vada’s dad isn’t in there?” I say. “I heard he likes being zipped in duffels.”
Nona laughs, and she drops the duffel with Vada, both clearly not concerned about that possibility.
“Oh, I forgot about that!” Audrey exclaims, sitting beside me. “Didn’t Aunt Willow say he was zipped in the duffel for hours without anyone knowing? Just so he could join her at the lake house. Isn’t that so romantic?”
“Yeah,” Vada smiles fondly and leans a casual hip on the bunkbed post. “Guys at school—they would never do anything like that. I feel like they just expect us to worship them because their dad works for an awesome tech company, but I’m not interested in your dad’s occupation. Like how hard is that to understand?”
“Percy,” we say together.
We being me, Audrey, and Nona.
“He’s so annoying,” Vada says, exasperated. “So annoying and dickish. Like please save me from myself every time I’m in Lit with him.” She slumps on the floor, and Nona joins her, sitting cross-legged.
“But he loves your gap-teeth,” I deadpan. “He finds them so shiny and cute.”
Vada groans and buries a pillow over her face.
“Vada prefers to be insulted as a form of flattery,” Audrey notes.
“I prefer not to be creeped out. That is number one. Why is it such a low bar?”
“What if it’s just Dalton guys?” Winona theorizes, shifting the duffel in front of her and Vada on the festive plaid rug. Her green sweatshirt says Gnome for the Holidays. “Most of them think they can just walk right up to you and say whatever they want.” Her cheeks heat, and Vada lowers the pillow, giving her a consoling look.
Audrey and I share one too, mostly because we know Vada and Nona have been keeping things from us. We’re not exactly sure what, but in all fairness, Audrey and I do the same.
“Who do we need to kill?” I ask.
Winona laughs but the noise sounds sad, and her smile fades too fast.
“Half the school wants to sleep with her,” Vada announces.
“We know,” I deadpan.
“Is that a problem?” Audrey contemplates.
Nona star-fishes the duffel. It would be very awkward if that were Uncle Garrison in there now. “None of them even really know me,” Nona mumbles into the canvas. She rolls over to stare at the ceiling. “I bet they’d hate me if they did. They might find me annoying or boring or weird.” Her brows bunch in thought and she picks at her fingernail.
The Winona I know is the one who’ll pretend to be a monkey at two a.m. on Christmas Eve when all of us are too wired to sleep. She’ll swing around the bunk beds and hang upside down and try to feed you gumdrops.
She did that last year.
Sad Nona is always heartbreaking. Her mood usually lifts everyone’s, so when she’s down, the whole room feels heavier in a way. God, I hate this. 2040 can go die now.
“And it’s not half the school,” Nona tells Vada.
Vada shrugs with a sympathetic look. “It’s a lot, Nona.”
It’s obvious all the guys drool over Winona, and so do some girls too. A short-lived crush is no longer a crush for that very reason. Sometimes, I do feel like an ugly goth duckling around Winona’s natural beauty, but we all know it’s brought her more problems. More comparisons to her mom. More unwanted attention from the worst of the worst at school.
“No one envies you,” Vada says. “Except Audrey.”
Audrey reasons, “I have fantasized about half the school being obsessed with my beauty, but it’s never looked quite the same as what Winona has gone through. For instance, no one kisses her hand every morning. That’s a must.”
Nona laughs into a mock gasp. “You mean, they aren’t supposed to tell you they’re going to fuck you against a locker?”
Audrey intakes a sharp breath.
I glare. “Wow.” She’s right, they’re bold and blunt trolls.
“I mean,” Audrey considers. “Was it said huskily? Because the delivery matters.”
Vada laughs hard. “Oh my God.”
I say flatly, “I’d be more worried about her if she didn’t have five brothers.”
“Cockblocker Cobalts,” Winona says with a fist in the air.
Now Audrey groans. “They ruin all potential, all possibility.”
“Of what?” Vada says.
“Date rape,” I deadpan.
Audrey gasps, feigning betrayal. “Kinney Hale.” There is a glimmer behind her eyes, and I smile back at her.
“Let’s get to work, babes,” Nona says, restless. She flings herself up, then tucks her legs under her butt. Audrey and I leave the bunk to gather around the contraband too.
I look to Audrey. “I still can’t believe you had enough to fill a whole duffel bag.” I’m impressed.
She appraises the duffel with proud eyes. “I’ve been collecting all year. I’d be a terrible collector if I just had a single tote’s worth.”
“Starting her hoarding skills early,” Vada says and playfully pinches her cheek.
“Collector,” Audrey rephrases into a smile, and she perches her hands on her hips. “I shall be the best collector in the world. Make you three terribly proud.”
Winona grins, “Depends what you collect.”
“Imagine Audrey collecting ants,” I say.
“An ant farm of epic proportions,” Vada nods. “I can see it.”
“Where she’ll breed the ants.” Winona wags her brows.
“Kings and queens and colonies and whole empires of ants,” Audrey says into a wider grin. We’re all smiling. Then Audrey’s fades. “Without my siblings at home, it doesn’t sound so bad.”
My stomach sinks.
Ben moved out and left her alone this year. Besides her parents, she’s the only one in a giant house that was once filled to the brim with her siblings. She’s called it “the world’s loudest silence.”
A lump tries to lodge in my throat, as I imagine that future for me. I’m not an idiot, okay. I know it might come. Xander’s applying to colleges, and he still doesn’t know if he’ll go, but that option exists.
Then I’ll be where Audrey is. A once full house now soundless and empty. My parents will be around, sure, but it’s not the same. It won’t be.
“Ants are the worst company,” I tell her. “They don’t even make noise.”
“Are we sure?” Vada frowns, balling her sleeves in her fists. She must be cold. She’s wearing a sweater with a cat smoking a candy cane. “Don’t ants like squeak or something?”
We all look to Winona.
Winona’s hair has frizzed from the wind outside. She tries to comb out the knots with her fingers. “I love animals. That doesn’t mean I know everything about every single one.”
“You’re a bug girl,” Vada tells her. “You made sure Kinney didn’t squash a roly-poly when we were five.”
I raise a hand. “In defense, it looked unbreakable.”
“Yes,” Audrey narrows her eyes at Winona, “decidedly suspicious if you don’t know the answer.”
Winona looks between the three of us, then her smile slowly spreads. “They chirp.”
“They chirp!” Audrey and Vada exclaim at the same time, bouncing with this new morsel of knowledge.
I focus on the duffel. “Alright, are we gonna do this or what?”
At that, we all shift and kneel around the bag. “Audrey, do the honors,” Nona tells her.
She unzips the bag.
The entire duffel is filled to the very brim with Celebrity Crush magazines. A whole year’s worth of the weekly tabloid. Audrey had been hiding them in her giant stuffed teddy bear—removing the stuffing every so often to fill more. Not that I think Uncle Connor and Aunt Rose would disapprove of her having the magazines, but they’d want to know why she was keeping so many. Then the whole surprise would have been busted.
And this is going to be an epic surprise.
For the first time in a while, true excitement builds. Vada and Audrey start dumping out the magazines, and I help Winona grab the tape and scissors.
“Remember,” Vada says, “if you find any good photos, you’re to cut them out, even if you’re not using them to wrap your present.”
“We should make piles,” Audrey suggests.
So we get to work.
Any photographs of my dad are placed in front of me. Uncle Connor clippings go in front of Audrey, Uncle Garrison in front of Vada, and Uncle Ryke in front of Winona. Cut-outs of our moms go in the middle.
Winona reaches under the bunk with her long arms, and she pulls out four boxes. I take mine when she passes them around.
Vada found four old nano iPods on eBay and wiped them. Then we each loaded songs that we want our dads to listen to. I lift the lid of a small square box and make sure the black iPod is still inside. It’s safe and sound, so I close the lid.
I put a bunch of Joan Jett and Fever Ray on it for my dad. I like thinking about him listening to some of my favs. The plan is to wrap the boxes with the clippings from the magazine.
Uncle Connor’s present will be covered with Uncle Ryke flipping off the paparazzi.
Uncle Garrison will have shirtless Uncle Connor.
Uncle Ryke will open his present wrapped in my dad’s abs.
My dad’s present will (hopefully) have pictures of Uncle Garrison’s Batman tattoo on it—and lucky me, I get the hardest task, considering Uncle Garrison is usually only photographed when he’s around other family. His photos are scarce. Not as bad as playing Where’s Waldo?, but kinda close.
The next few minutes, we work on searching through magazines and cutting out our parents’ faces.
“We need more sister clippings,” Nona says, seeing that the pile is low.
Each of us made our moms paper flowers for Christmas, and we wanted to wrap the box in sisterly photos where they’re together.
“I’ll focus on our moms,” Vada says. “I already have a ton of Uncle Connor’s abs.”
“So gross,” I deadpan.
“It really is,” Vada agrees. “My dad is going to hate it.” She smiles.
Nona smiles back. “They’re going to kill us.” She wags her brows again and tosses a tape-ball at Vada. They end up throwing pillows, candy, more tape, a phone charger back and forth and tipping over into laughter.
I shake my head. Juvenile delinquents. I smile internally, loving Vada and Nona exactly how they are. But also, how are Audrey and I considered the babies when the two of them prank each other with whipped cream and silly string?
If you ask me, we’re the mature ones.
I’m also very protective over my clippings of photos. I pull the pile closer to me, so Nona doesn’t kick it on accident.
Audrey notes, “They love us far too much to stab us in our sleep.”
“Who said anything about stabbing?” I cut Uncle Garrison out of a paparazzi shot where he’s eating a slice of pizza with my mom. Battoo in full view. “Poison is more likely.”
“They’d rather poison our foes,” Audrey says.
Winona peels a wad of tape out of her hair. “Maybe your dad. Mine would rather do some stabbing…or punching.” She picks up her magazine and rips a page rather aggressively. Like she’s thinking of a certain someone that she’d like her dad to annihilate.
Audrey and I share a look, while Vada watches her in concern.
“I can feel you all staring,” Nona says, not lifting her eyes off the magazine.
“Is it Tate?” I ask.
“I don’t want to talk about the T-Bag,” she says fast, like it’s rolling her stomach. “Not on Christmas Eve.”
Fair.
She blows out an angry breath and tears a piece of tape. “My mom took me to my annual physical. The doctor said some girls don’t stop growing until they’re nineteen or twenty. So my boobs could get even bigger. Go me.” She does a cheerleader clap with a fist in the air.
We all helped Audrey practice a routine for an audition this year. She made the JV squad, which cheers for the basketball team. Games are at the beginning of next year.
Vada sighs, “You weren’t supposed to leave the itty-bitty titty committee without me. I’m also pissed.”
“Kinney’s still in it,” Audrey notes.
“Thank you for that,” I say flatly, “and I am fine with my small boobs. I love them.” I concentrate on cutting a perfect line.
Winona grew a whole cup size in just a few months. The T-Bags were a hassle before then, and now it’s like they’ve zeroed in on her even more. It doesn’t help that people online are starting to take notice too.
“I guess it’s not a big deal until I’m eighteen,” Nona mutters, her chin on her knee. She’s flipping through a magazine.
I frown at her. Some people count down to eighteen as though the gates into adulthood have opened, but Winona is dreading it. At eighteen, the media can say whatever they want about us. We’re no longer minors, and press won’t care about crossing ethical lines. The boundaries will be erased.
“That’s the spirit,” Vada says, nudging her elbow to cheer her up. “We’re only sixteen.”
“Anyone who comments about your boobs online is a perv,” I say.
“Super pervy,” Vada agrees.
“Some days,” Nona says quietly, “I feel like I could just run into the forest and join the wild creatures and never come out.”
Audrey’s face breaks. “You’d leave us?”
Those words send a dagger to my heart. Another person gone. Another one leaving. I’m not sure I could take Winona, Vada, or Audrey vanishing from my life. It’s not survivable.
I think about my brothers and sister.
My heart heavies, and I try to focus on cutting—but a knot is in my throat.
Nona smiles softly at each of us. “Could I entice any of you to join me in the woods?” Her lips downturn seeing me. “Kin?”
Get it together. I lift my chin. “I’m out. I need shampoo and conditioner and deodorant."
“Life’s finest necessities,” Nona nods in agreement, her worry on me for another beat before she returns to the magazine. “I think I’d miss those too.” She still seems in the dumps, and I hate it. I hate those loser T-Bags that have officially crawled under her skin.
“I’m going to break his nose,” I declare. I don’t even have to say his name. We all know I’m talking about Tate.
“No,” Nona says.
“Why not?” I ask. “Just a little pop right on the bridge.”
“I support Kinney’s plan,” Vada nods.
“As do I,” Audrey says.
Nona gives me a hard look. “You’ve never even been in a fistfight with an actual person, let alone a boy.” She has, is what’s implied here.
“I’m proud this will be my first,” I say into a dry smile. “I’ve gone way too long without this experience.”
Audrey narrows her eyes at me. “I revoke my support. I shall not be party to Kinney’s villain era.”
I glare at her. “Am I not in that era yet?”
She tapes a picture of Uncle Ryke to her box. “Nay.”
“Let’s move away from Kinney’s hunger for violence,” Winona says, then frowns more at me. “You okay, babe?”
“You can’t leave,” I say strongly, from a place so deep within that my eyes burn and the room falls hushed. “Everyone leaves, and…and I think I’m destined to be a witness to death, someone I know is going to die again, I know it.” My voice cracks. Oh my, ugh. This was not supposed to happen!
Audrey wraps an arm around me. “Kinney.”
“I’m fine,” I say to the scissors in my hand, glaring. “It's just...all my siblings and mom have nearly died." Xander...Moffy in a car crash...Mom attacked...Luna kidnapped..."And I’m cursed to stand by while it happens. That’s all.”
“You aren’t cursed,” Nona says sympathetically.
“She could’ve pissed off a spirit,” Vada teases.
Audrey considers this, “She has touched the Ouija board more than all of us combined.”
Nona tosses a tape-ball at me.
But I flick it off my lap. “I’m fine. Jeez.” I blush and pick up another magazine. When I look up, Nona is taping her eyelids to her forehead. She is such a goof. I shake my head, and when she starts chirping like an ant, I break into a laugh with my friends.
“We should play music,” Audrey proclaims and puts on a holiday shuffle. Mostly the true classics. It’s Christmas Eve, after all.
Winona never said she wouldn’t leave. Did she?
I look up at her.
But she’s busy cutting and asks, “What’d we think of the holiday task list?”
The holiday task list. It was created and distributed by Jane for our arrival to the lake house. Most items were decorating tasks. I try not to look at Audrey. Don’t be suspicious.
We were paired up, and our task…did not go as planned. (To put it mildly.) But we both agreed that no one needs to know what happened—other than my sister who was snooping and saw—but besides Luna, we’ll be taking our secret to the grave. I will die with this. My corpse will be covered in cobwebs, and my ethereal ghostly form will still never spill.
Winona and Vada don’t know what happened. They were paired and tasked with hanging garland and wreaths, so they missed it.
It’d hurt more leaving Winona and Vada out if they didn’t keep their own secrets from Audrey and me too.
“If no one’s going to say it, I will,” Audrey says.
I frown. Is she going to tell them? No. We pricked our fingers. It was a blood oath!
“Jane only tasked Thatcher with chopping wood so she could watch him do manual labor, and I think it’s positively brilliant.”
“Farrow was with him,” Vada reminds her. “I doubt she wanted to see Moffy’s husband slinging an axe too.”
“Which is why Moffy was also involved in doling out the tasks,” Audrey notes.
I can’t see my brother doing that on purpose. Farrow would rub it in his face…then again, I know my brother enjoys that too. It’s complicated.
Love usually is.
All of us finish hunting for clippings. A full stack of Uncle Garrison is in front of Vada—the stack I need. So we start swapping the stacks to make it easier on all of us.
“Your sister was trying to be a peacemaker again,” Nona tells Audrey. “She made Ben and Xander string lights on the tree together.”
Audrey sighs. “Yes, Jane is just hoping for a reunion, I suppose.”
“It’s never going to happen,” Vada says.
We all nod in agreement.
We sing along to “Jingle Bell Rock” and when the song ends, Vada sighs out, “I’m so sick of being a virgin.”
None of us have lost it yet, but Vada has gone to third base with a guy. The furthest of any of us.
“What’s the rush?” Nona asks.
“I don’t like that it’s a dangly unfinished thing. I don’t know,” she mutters.
“She sees a finish line,” I deadpan. “She must cross it.”
Vada smiles at me. “Maybe. Yeah.” She tears off some tape. “I’m going to have sex next year.”
I’ve always just wanted a girlfriend that stays, but my New Year’s resolution has changed this time. “I just want the four of us to be like this, always.”
They all look up at me.
We share burgeoning smiles, and Audrey tips her head into me, “Always.” Then she puts her hand in the center.
“Forever,” Vada grins, placing her hand on top of hers.
Nona adds hers. “Eternally.” Then they turn to me.
I take a deeper, hopeful breath and say, “Us four.”
My hand on theirs.
Nona always breaks the hand-stack by exploding hers upward, and we laugh together. Music playing, we keep working on wrapping the presents in magazine clippings, and we talk more about school, the holidays, and when I finish my presents to my parents, I feel lighter. Better.
Tomorrow’s Christmas Day. Xander’s birthday. I don’t want to bring any dark and foreboding moods into it, even if I feel like I’m trying to hold on to frayed string. It’s hard being excited about the future when the future seems so undetermined. Unknown.
Only thing I know—it sucks being the youngest.
It sucks watching my siblings leave.
It sucks feeling like you’re cursed.
The only Christmas miracle I have are my friends.
Audrey, Vada, Winona.
I smile up at them.
As long as we’re all together, I can get through anything.