Chapter 9
Coco
I’m not sure what time it is when I wake up the next morning. There’s no clock, and I’m afraid to move in case I wake Alec up. I figure he’ll be up soon enough.
I lie there, staring at the ceiling for what feels like an hour. The sun is rising, peeking in from behind the curtains, and when my stomach growls, I know I need to get up.
I watch Alec sleep as I slowly slip out from beneath the covers and gather my clothes.
Tiptoeing out of the bedroom, I get dressed in the living room.
When I look in the fridge for something to eat, I see nothing I can make without waking Alec up or burning the place down, so I grab my keys and go back to my place.
I’m not sure when Alec will wake up, so I take a quick shower. I assume he sleeps in later since he’s up so late every night, so I take my time with my morning routine.
When I still haven’t heard from him by nine, I grab two Pop-Tarts and go back to his place. He’s asleep when I walk into the bedroom, and I smile, unwrapping my breakfast and taking a bite.
The crinkle of the wrapper wakes him. He blinks his eyes open, his hand reaching out to my side of the bed.
“Morning,” I say.
He sits up, smiling when he sees me.
“I made breakfast.” I toss him his Pop-Tarts.
He laughs as he opens his pack and takes a bite. “Thanks. I can’t remember the last time that I had one of these.”
“It’s my usual,” I admit.
“How long have you been up?” he asks, noticing my wet hair.
“A few hours.” I wink. “Guess I wore you out last night.”
He smirks, holding his hand out to me. I step forward, sliding my palm against his. I’m not sure what I’m expecting him to do, but it definitely isn’t tugging on my hand so I fall into bed with him.
“What time is it?” he asks as he rolls me under him.
“Almost ten now.”
“Shit.” He sighs, closing his eyes. “I need to head to work soon.”
“Want me to go?”
“Not yet. Come here.”
I tilt my chin up, offering him my mouth, and he greedily accepts. His tongue slips inside, and I smile when I taste the strawberry Pop-Tart on his lips.
My body heats as he presses more of his weight on top of me, and I wrap my arms around his neck, needing him closer.
“You got dressed,” he complains as he trails kisses down my neck.
“Sorry about that,” I pant, lifting my hips when he tugs on my yoga pants.
He slides them down my legs, his fingers trailing after and causing goosebumps to pop up in their wake.
My panties are next. I sit up and rip my tank top over my head. A wrapper crinkles under me, and I reach behind my back, laughing when I pull out the smashed Pop-Tart.
“There are probably crumbs everywhere,” I tell him apologetically as he eases my thighs wider.
“I’ll clean them up later,” he mumbles, burying his face in my pussy.
“Alec!” I cry out in shock as his tongue licks a path up my slick center.
He moans, his tongue teasing my clit. Already, I can feel my orgasm brewing.
One thick finger pushes inside me, and he lazily thrusts in and out as his lips wrap around my clit, giving me the perfect amount of pressure.
“Oh, fuck!” I cry out.
He laughs darkly as he licks my clit while his finger stretches me. My hips rock, and I close my eyes, allowing myself to simply feel.
His mouth and hands seem to be everywhere at once. His tongue licks me, chasing every drop of pleasure, his fingers rub against secret spots deep inside my pussy, his other hand stroking up my side and pinching one stiff nipple.
“I’m close,” I gasp.
He growls, his body tensing against mine like he’s the one about to come. He sucks my clit into his mouth, his tongue rolling circles over the sensitive pearl, and I go off like a rocket.
“Alec! Fuck!” I scream, my head thrashing on the pillow as I come.
His mouth continues to work me over, prolonging my release, and by the time I’m done, I’m a boneless noodle in the center of the bed.
“Mine,” he whispers.
I smile dazedly at the ceiling. I’m breathing hard, my eyelids heavy as Alec kisses his way back up my body.
“Still with me?” he asks as his cock brushes against my opening.
“Uh-huh,” I hum.
He chuckles as he presses inside me.
“Oh…oh, God!” I cry out, my back arching off the mattress as he stretches me with his length.
I’m still amazed that I was able to take all of him last night. When I first saw his dick, I was sure it would never fit, and if it did, it would be uncomfortable. Instead, it fits perfectly and feels so damn good.
Alec bottoms out inside me. “So good,” he groans, his head lowering toward mine.
I meet him halfway, our lips colliding in a messy kiss as we move together. My hips rock up, meeting his thrusts. I grip his shoulders, my fingers slipping over the sweat dotting his skin.
“So tight,” he groans as my core clenches around him, causing him to swear.
He leans back on his knees, the angle changing so that he presses against my clit with each stroke.
“Alec,” I cry in warning.
His gaze darkens as he focuses all his attention on getting me off again.
He grips my hips, his thrusts becoming punishing as we strain to reach our peaks.
I can tell he’s close, can feel it in the tension in his muscles.
When he looks up from where we’re joined to meet my eyes, I can’t hold back anymore.
“Alec,” I whisper, my vision narrowing to him as I fly into oblivion.
“Coco,” he grunts, his head tipping back as he finds his release.
His hips slow, finally becoming still as we catch our breaths.
His eyes open, meeting mine, and he grins. “Morning,” he says softly, bracing himself on his palms as he bends to kiss me.
I laugh against his mouth, and he smiles wider.
A phone dings, and I know our time together is about to end.
Alec pulls out of me gently, rolling onto his side to grab his phone and read the message. “I need to head to Palmer’s,” he says apologetically.
“Have fun.”
“What are you going to do today?” he asks as he climbs out of bed.
“I need to clean my apartment, grab some groceries, that kind of stuff. I might have to prep some stuff for work this week. Then… I don’t know. Maybe I’ll read or something.”
“Sounds like fun.”
I look at him from beneath my lashes. “You could play hooky and join me.”
He sighs. “I wish. I need to test out the new menu and perfect the dishes.”
“Too bad.” I lazily roll onto my side, letting the sheet slip down to my waist.
“You could stay in bed all day, just like this,” he says smoothly, reaching out to pinch one of my nipples.
“We’ll see.”
He groans as he steps back. With one last look, he goes into the bathroom.
I sigh as I roll onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. I should get up, get dressed, and go home, but I find myself lying there as Alec showers and comes back into the bedroom to get dressed.
“Decide to stay?” he asks me hopefully.
I shake my head. “No, I need to go get some work done. I’ll see you later?”
“Count on it.”
I climb out of bed and tug on my pajamas. Alec walks me out, and I wait for him to lock his apartment and walk me to mine.
“I’ll talk to you later,” he says, tipping my head to press a quick kiss to my lips.
“Later. Don’t work too hard!” I call after him as he jogs down the stairs.
I let myself into my apartment and go straight to my room. Stripping off, I rush through another shower. I have a lot to get through today, so I hustle as I dry off and get dressed. I write a quick grocery list before heading to the market.
I’m not brave enough yet to get real ingredients, so I stick to my usuals, filling my cart with cereal, milk, bread, yogurt, frozen pizza, and TV dinners. I add granola bars, grapes, and blueberries, then check out and return to my apartment.
I spend the rest of the day and into the evening cleaning my apartment, catching up on laundry, and getting organized for my photo shoots for this week. Once I’m done, I have nothing but time to think.
I glance at the clock. Alec still isn’t home, and it’s almost midnight. I wonder if it will always be like this.
I used to treasure my alone time, but now that I’ve met Alec, I kind of hate it. I want to spend more time with him. Not like twenty-four-seven, but more than an hour or two a week.
Could I be happy like this? I love being with Alec. He makes me feel beautiful and special and alive. He’s the first man I’ve ever been interested in. We have more in common than I thought we would, and it’s nice to have someone who seems to get me so completely.
When I pause and look around, though, I realize I feel… lonely. I might be falling in love with Alec—hell, I might already be in love with him—but I’m not sure we’re compatible.
I don’t want to be alone in my relationship. I don’t want to wait until well after midnight for him to get off work to talk to him if I’ve had a hard day. I don’t want to celebrate holidays or celebrations by myself because he’s at the restaurant.
And I can’t ask him to give up his passion to meet my needs.
Tears sting my eyes as I glance at the clock again. I should go to bed. Turning off the lights, I shuffle down the hallway to my bedroom. As I get ready for bed, I can’t help but think that this would be my life: going to bed alone every night.
When would we see each other? When would we go out on dates or have sex? Would I have to stay up until the early morning hours? Would he be too tired to do anything except pass out next to me?
A pit opens in my stomach because I know the answer to all those questions.
That’s not the life that I want. I’ve been lying to myself my whole life, telling myself I prefer to be alone because I didn’t have another choice.
I always knew deep down that my mother was never going to pick me.
She was never going to be there for me or love me in the way I wanted to be loved.
I can’t cope with another person not putting me first, and I know at that moment what I have to do.
I need to end things with Alec, even if it means breaking my heart to pieces in the process.
It’s for the best, I tell myself as I roll onto my side and close my eyes.
As I try to fall asleep, I wonder if that’s another lie I’m telling myself.