Chapter 3
Suri
I barely slept last night. I tossed and turned for hours, my mind and body at war.
I was kicking myself for lying to Devon about having a date, for turning him down when he asked me out.
I mean, I’ve been dreaming about that happening for years, and now it finally does, and I’m too pissed off to agree?
Then I think about what he said. How he acted like I should have been sitting around and pining for him all this time, and…
okay, I have been, but he doesn’t know that!
With one sentence, he made me feel like that dorky freshman who trailed after him like a lovesick puppy—the one he never so much as looked at once.
I hate feeling like that. I’ve worked hard over the last few years to gain confidence, to work on my self-esteem. One moment with Devon, and I’m not sure if any of my work over the last four years did anything at all.
I rub the sleep from my eyes as I trudge into the kitchen, grabbing a cherry Pop-Tart out of the cupboard. I toss a protein bar, some yogurt, and a sandwich into my lunch bag, grab my keys, and head out.
Like yesterday, as soon as I step outside, Devon is there, leaning against his police cruiser. He straightens when he sees me, giving me a careful smile. I glare at him, turning toward my car.
“Morning, Suri. You’re looking lovely today.”
“What do you want?” I ask as I unlock my old Toyota and toss my things into the passenger seat.
“Still going on your date tonight? Or have your plans changed?”
“Still going,” I lie, wondering if it’s possible to find someone to go out with in a few short hours.
I slam the passenger door and glance at Devon. He looks pissed. No, he’s downright furious. I briefly wonder if I should tell him the truth.
And look like even more of a loser?
I feel so pathetic for having a crush on a guy for a decade and being invisible to him for all of it.
Why is he here? Why is he trying to get me to go out with him?
What’s his motive? Does he think I’ll be an easy lay in this new town where neither one of us knows anyone?
Are there no other single women in town for him to focus on instead?
“Where is he taking you?” Devon asks through his teeth.
“Palmer’s.”
His jaw clicks.
I shift on my feet. I hate lying to people. I’ve never been great at it, but Devon can’t seem to tell.
Because he doesn’t know you. Not outside your writing.
“Well… see ya,” I say awkwardly, turning and speed-walking around the hood of my car.
“Suri—”
I slip behind the wheel and close the door before he can say anything else.
My head and my heart are a mess. I need to figure out what I want to say to him. What do I want from him? Once I have that figured out, I’ll be prepared to see him again.
My fingers itch to call Rowan as I pull away from the curb and drive to work, but I pause. Rowan is happy and in love. She would kill for the two of us to be dating best friends. She can’t be impartial here. But she does know how I feel about Devon.
Dammit! Now he even has me questioning my best friend.
I growl as I turn onto the deserted street leading to the Wolf Valley Wolf Sanctuary. I pull up out front, parking next to Vera’s car, and slam my door as I climb out.
“Whoa! Someone is in a good mood this morning,” Vera jokes. Her smile falls away as she sees my face, replaced by a worried expression as she rushes to my side. “Suri? What’s happened?”
“I… I don’t even know where to start,” I admit, losing some of my steam.
“How about at the beginning?” she says gently.
I swallow hard. “I’ve been in love with this guy since I was a kid. The first time I saw him, I knew he was it for me. No doubt about it. No one else has ever made me feel like that.”
“Well, that’s great.” Vera frowns. “Isn’t it?”
“No because he never noticed me, never gave me a second glance.”
“Oh,” she says quietly.
“He joined the military, and I started writing to him. We wrote to each other for years.”
“And you want to tell him how you feel about him now?” she guesses.
I shake my head. “No, I… I finally told him my name in my last letter. Then I moved here. I wanted a clean break. Wanted to let go of the one-sided feelings, you know?”
“Okay,” she says slowly, obviously wondering where I’m going with all this.
“And now he’s here.”
“He came here for you? Well, there’s your sign that—”
“No.” I shake my head. “Well, I don’t think so. He got a job as the sheriff in town.”
Vera blinks, opens her mouth, closes it, sighs, and opens her mouth again.
“Yeah, that’s how I feel,” I mumble.
That earns me a smile. She waves me up to the house. “Come on, let’s have some coffee. We’ll get this sorted and get to work.”
I follow her inside and plop down in a chair at the kitchen table. Vera and her billionaire husband, Fisher, have been renovating the place, and I bite back a smile when Fisher walks into the kitchen, plaster dust covering one of his shoulders.
He looks grumpy, but one look from Vera and his whole face softens.
“You’ve got a little something right there,” Vera teases, motioning to his shoulder.
“Smart ass,” he mutters, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her.
I look away to give them privacy. My heart aches in my chest. I wish I could have what they have.
“See you later, Vera,” Fisher whispers before he straightens and turns to me with a smile. “Have a good day, Suri.”
“Thanks, you too.”
He heads out, and Vera passes me a cup of coffee. I dump half of the coconut creamer into it, and she shakes her head.
“I think you need to talk to him. Find out why he’s in Wolf Valley. I mean, I guess he could be here for a job, but it seems like a huge coincidence, right?”
“I guess.”
“Okay, so find out why he’s here, and you can go from there.”
“I, uh… I may have told him that I have a date tonight.”
“What? Why?”
“He showed up yesterday and acted like it was a given that I would jump into his arms as soon as I saw him. Like I was sitting around and waiting for him to decide to pay attention to me.”
“Okay, yeah, I can see how that would have pissed you off. If Fisher did that shit, I would have—”
“Lied and said you were seeing someone else?”
Vera smiles. “Something like that.”
I snort, taking a gulp of my coffee. “I’m just all over the place. I mean, I have been waiting for him to notice me. I’m pissed at him for acting like that, but I’m also mad at myself for it being true. I feel… I don’t know, pitiful? Pathetic? One of the p words.”
“You’re not any of those. The fact that you’ve always known he was the one for you is romantic. Maybe he’s been waiting for you too.”
“If I hadn’t written to him, we never would have met,” I whisper, blinking back tears.
“Oh, Suri.” Vera stands, wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug. “It’s obvious that you’re carrying around a lot of big emotions about all of this.”
“I hate it.”
“I know,” she coos. “Why don’t you take tonight to recenter yourself?”
“Because I have a fake date to get ready for. If I can’t find someone, he’ll know I lied, and it will be even worse.”
“So stay late and work. You can tell him you had to reschedule,” she suggests.
I mull over her words. “That could work,” I agree, feeling relieved. “But what happens if I can’t find anyone? Or if I can’t figure out what to do about Devon?”
“You will. It will all work out,” Vera promises.
I feel better after talking it out. I know I should take the time to write everything down. I’m better when I do that because it helps me to think things through.
“Thanks, Vera.”
“What are friends for?” she asks with a grin. “Now, come on. We’ve got some wolves to take care of.”
I smile as I stand and follow her out the door.