Chapter 9
Suri
My hands tremble as I stare down at the stack of letters in my lap.
For a moment, I can’t bring myself to open them.
They’re worn around the edges, some of them crumpled like they’ve been folded and unfolded a hundred times.
My name is written across every envelope in Devon’s messy handwriting. The sight alone makes my chest ache.
“Go on, baby,” Devon says quietly from beside me.
I glance up, studying him. His dark blue eyes are fixed on me, and I realize with a start that he looks nervous.
Holy shit. Devon Hayes is nervous.
That alone tells me how much these letters matter.
Taking a deep breath, I pull out the first one.
My dearest Suri,
I don’t know if you’ll ever read this. Hell, I don’t even know where to send it, but I have to write it anyway.
You said goodbye today, and I think it might be the worst day of my life.
Tears immediately sting my eyes. I blink them away and keep reading.
For years, I’ve imagined meeting you. I’ve imagined hearing your voice and seeing your smile. Now I finally know who you are, and somehow, you’re farther away than ever.
I don’t know what you were thinking when you wrote that last letter, but you’re wrong if you think this is the end.
It’s not.
You don’t get to save my life and then walk away from me.
Not happening.
I’m coming for you, baby.
Love,
Devon
I take a shaky breath as I fold the letter back up and reach for the next. I open the second letter and start to read.
Suri,
Today I found another picture of you online.
You were standing with your friend Rowan at some festival.
I stared at that picture for an hour.
You’re beautiful. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
My throat tightens.
I open another.
Suri,
Fuck, I miss you, baby.
I love you. I’ve loved you for years. I loved you before I knew your name. I loved you before I knew what you looked like.
I love you because you’re kind and brave and you see good in people. And I love you because you never stopped showing up for me.
You became my home long before I ever had the chance to hold you.
A sob escapes me, and I cover my mouth.
Across from me, Devon shifts forward immediately. “Suri?”
I shake my head. “I-I’m okay.”
But I’m not okay. I’m overwhelmed. Every fear I’ve carried for years is unraveling right in front of me. All this time, I thought I loved him more, I thought I cared more, I thought I needed him more, I thought I was the one chasing him.
And all along… he was chasing me too.
I read letter after letter. Every single one says the same thing in a hundred different ways.
I love you.
I miss you.
I need you.
I can’t wait to find you.
I don’t want a life without you in it.
By the time I finish the last one, tears are streaming down my face.
I lower the pages into my lap. My vision blurs. “Devon…”
His chair scrapes against the floor, and a second later, he’s kneeling in front of me. Immediately, his hands cup my cheeks. “Baby.”
“Why didn’t you send these?”
“I didn’t know where you were.”
My heart shatters and swells all at once. I don’t know what to do with myself, so I follow my instincts and throw myself into his arms.
Devon catches me instantly, wrapping me up against his chest.
“I love you,” I whisper, the words bursting out before I can stop them. “I love you so much.”
His entire body goes still, and he takes a deep breath. I pull back to look at him, and our eyes lock instantly.
“Say that again,” he orders.
I smile through my tears. “I love you, Devon.”
The breath leaves him in a rush, like he’s been waiting years to hear those words.
Maybe he has, I realize.
“I love you too,” he says roughly, his forehead pressed against mine. “You have no idea how much.”
I laugh shakily. “I think I do.”
“No, baby. You don’t.”
His hands slide down my arms, and he suddenly stands.
“Devon?” I ask with a frown.
“Hang on.”
He moves across the room, and for one confusing second, I wonder what he’s doing. Then I see him reach into a drawer, and my heart nearly stops.
“No.”
“I haven’t even asked you yet,” he gripes as he turns around, a small black box in his hand.
“Oh my god.”
Devon smiles.
I gape at him as he walks back over to me and drops to one knee before me.
My hands fly to my mouth. “Devon…”
“Suri Michaels—”
Fresh tears spill down my cheeks.
He opens the box. Inside is the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen, but I barely notice it because all I can see is him.
“—I’ve loved you for years,” he continues, his voice shaking. “I loved your letters. I loved your heart. I loved you before I ever saw your face.”
My chest hurts. The good kind of hurt. The kind that feels too big for my body.
“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
A tear slips down his cheek. I don’t think he even notices.
“You saved me.”
My own tears fall faster.
“You gave me something to fight for.”
He reaches for my hand. “I want forever with you.”
His fingers tighten around mine. “I want every morning.”
A kiss brushes my knuckles. “Every holiday.”
Another kiss. “Every bad day.”
His voice grows rough. “Every good day.”
I can’t breathe.
“I want all of it.”
His gaze locks onto mine. “So, marry me.”
A broken laugh escapes me. “Devon—”
“Marry me, baby. Don’t make me chase you. You know I will.”
His eyes shine. “Let me spend the rest of my life loving you.”
I don’t even hesitate. “Yes!”
His entire face lights up. “Yeah?”
“Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you.”
I launch myself at him, and the ring box nearly goes flying. Devon laughs and catches me. Then he kisses me, long and slow and perfect.
When we finally break apart, we’re both smiling. He slides the ring onto my finger, and we stare down at it together.
I look at him.
My fiancé.
My heart nearly explodes.
“There’s one more thing,” he says.
I blink. “What?”
Devon grins—a very familiar, stubborn grin. The one that means he’s already made a decision.
“Oh no.”
“Oh yes.”
He stands and pulls me to my feet. “You’re moving in with me.”
I laugh. “Devon!”
“Immediately.”
“We should probably discuss—”
“Nope.”
I roll my eyes.
“We’re engaged now. That means you’re mine.”
“That’s not how that works.”
“It is in my head.”
I laugh so hard my stomach hurts.
God, I love this man.
The realization settles over me, simple, certain, forever.
Devon wraps an arm around my waist and kisses my temple, and I lean into him automatically.
For the first time in my life, I feel confident. I feel beautiful and desirable and loved. I have my dream man. For the first time in my life, I know exactly where I belong.
I can see our future together so clearly in my head, and I know I’m going to get it.
I can hardly wait.