Chapter 9 Only if It’s with You
NINE
Only if It’s with You
LOGAN
I open my eyes, taking a moment to enjoy the feeling of Yana’s warm body pressed against mine.
She’s curled into me, her hair spilling over her pillow, her face relaxed.
Fuck, I could stay like this all day. A smile grows on my lips as images from last night appear in my mind.
My body heats, the blood in my veins like a sizzling fire.
Our encounter was mind-blowing.
It probably should’ve felt wrong. Instead, it felt incredibly right.
Making Yana come while Camden watched every flick of my fingers over her clit, and then watching him kiss her and eat her out?
I’ve never been more turned on than I was yesterday, especially when Cam brought her into her room and the three of us ended up tangled together.
It was like my world clicked into place. Like that was exactly how it should’ve been from the start. Yana, Camden, and me. I didn’t feel even an ounce of jealousy. The moment she reached for him, I knew that if I was going to share her with anyone, it could only be him—my best friend.
Slowly, I lift my head, searching for him, only to find his side of the bed empty. A niggle of disappointment threads through me.
I ease out of bed, doing my best not to jostle Yana, and check the time. When I realize it’s only eight, my eyebrows hit my hairline. Why is he up so early?
On silent feet, I head to the bathroom to wash my face and relieve myself, then I pad to the kitchen.
Camden is leaning against the counter with a mug in his hand, dressed in a black hoodie and sweatpants, his hair a mess. His eyes are locked on mine, but he doesn’t greet me. He doesn’t smile either.
Unease replaces disappointment. What’s gotten into him?
“Merry Christmas,” I say, reaching for a mug in the cupboard.
“Uh-huh,” he grumbles in response. “There’s coffee if you want.”
“Thanks.”
I fill my cup and prop my hip against the counter, studying him. He looks the opposite of how I feel. While I’m exhilarated, excited, he looks gloomy and closed off.
But why?
“How long have you been up?” I ask, deciding to go easy on him instead of interrogating him.
“Ten minutes.”
I blink. “But when I woke up—”
“I slept in my room.”
Confusion joins the sensations swirling in my head. “Why?”
He chuckles dryly. “Do I really need to spell it out for you?”
“That’d be great, yeah, because I don’t get it.”
“You and Yana are together. And I’m the third wheel.”
I lower my mug to the counter without even taking a sip. “Are you seriously telling me you feel like a third wheel after what happened last night?”
“And what exactly happened last night?” he snaps. “We all got drunk, and things got out of hand. Forced proximity and all that shit.”
“We were drinking, but none of us were drunk. We all knew what we were doing,” I tell him, ducking in hopes of snagging his attention.
“Really?” he huffs. “You would’ve shared your girl with me if you were sober?”
I push off the counter, step in front of him, and hold eye contact. “With you—yes. You are my best friend. I’ve known you my whole life. I trust you. It only could’ve happened with you.”
He sets his mug on the counter, then pushes past me, pacing the room. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I know you want her. You’ve wanted her since the night we met her,” I say, my voice even. “Why are you running away from your feelings?”
He halts in his tracks and whips around to face me, his mouth twisting. “Don’t start, Logan.”
“I’m not starting anything. I’m telling it like it is. You wanted to be there. So why did you walk out?”
“Maybe because I don’t like being a charity case,” he grits out.
“Please.” I snort. “We weren’t taking pity on you, and you know that. You’re not as discreet as you think you are, buddy. I saw the way you looked at her, how badly you wanted her. She wanted you too, and I had nothing against it.”
He throws his head back and laughs darkly. “How generous of you. But have you stopped to think that maybe I don’t need your permission?” He narrows his eyes. “Aren’t you worried that she might be more into me than you? That she might cast you aside?”
The jab hits hard, but I tamp down my irritation and grin instead. His defensiveness is hilarious. He can try to dismiss the desire all he wants, but there’s no denying it. All three of us felt it last night.
“No.” I shrug. “I’m not. Yesterday was fucking perfect. I’m not opposed to the idea of sharing her. If that’s what she wants. And only if it’s with you.”
He stares at me like I’ve lost my mind, his jaw rigid. Then he slips his fingers into his hair, tugging at the roots. “Jesus Christ, Logan, do you even hear yourself? You don’t share a woman like her.”
“Why not? She wanted it. Yana initiated everything,” I shoot back. “Isn’t that what’s most important?”
For a split second, fire flickers in his eyes, but he douses it almost immediately. “You’re insane,” he mutters, rushing to the front door. He stuffs his feet into his shoes, snags his jacket, and slams the door behind him.
In the silent aftermath, I let out a slow breath and drag a hand down my face. That conversation didn’t go the way I thought it would. Not even close. Damn him and his stubbornness. Why does he have to make everything complicated?
With another exhale, I open the fridge. I pull out a carton of eggs and a package of bacon and turn to the stove. If nothing else, Yana deserves to wake up to breakfast.
I’m leaning against the counter, a mug of freshly brewed coffee in hand, when Yana wanders into the kitchen. Her hair’s in a messy bun, and she’s dressed in black leggings and a red T-shirt. Eyes still sleepy, she smiles when she catches me watching her. “How long have you been up?”
I glance at the clock on the wall. “Half an hour or so.”
She steps into me and buries her face in my chest. “Good morning,” she whispers. “And Merry Christmas.”
“Morning.” I drop my lips to her forehead. “I made breakfast and coffee.”
She leans away, beaming. “So now you cook?”
“For you? Of course.”
As we eat, she asks about my family and how we celebrate Christmas. The conversation is light and sweet, but I can’t go any longer without mentioning last night and Camden’s reaction this morning.
“So, about last night…” I trail off, my pulse picking up. “Are we good?”
With a genuine smile, she nods. “More than good. I don’t regret it. Not for a second.” She bites her bottom lip nervously, but she doesn’t look away. “I’m attracted to him too. To Camden. I think I’ve been attracted to him since the night I met you both.”
I nod despite the little pang in my chest. She met him first, technically. It’s hard not to wonder what would have happened if Camden hadn’t made that rude comment at the restaurant. If he’d approached her first.
Would I be here? Would he be so willing to share her with me if he were in my place?
“Logan?” Yana covers my hand with hers. Her brows knit together, and her lips part slightly. “Are we good?”
I give her a reassuring smile. “Of course we are. If I weren’t okay with it, I wouldn’t have let it go that far.
” I thread my fingers through hers. “And I could tell you were into him too. Just like he’s obviously into you.
” I lick my lips. “But he walked out. I tried talking to him this morning, and he just…left.”
Head tilted, she studies me. Then, with a shrug of one shoulder, she says, “Then I guess I’ll have to talk some sense into him.”
I chuckle. “Good luck. He was in a mood when he stormed out.”
With a wink, she stands and starts gathering dishes.
I stand too, taking them from her. “Go. Find him. I’ll take care of this. Then I need to call my family.”
“You’re the best.” She kisses me on the lips, sweet and slow. Then she heads down the hall to her room.
A few minutes later, when she walks out the front door wearing black leggings, a white hoodie, and a jacket, I’m not concerned. The unease I felt this morning is gone, and all that’s left is anticipation.