Chapter 20
After Brookes had dropped her off, Harper decided to drive into Stanthorpe, and took a walk down the main strip, popping into the second-hand stores and sifting through items that might work at the inn. She wanted to add a personal touch to the place without taking away from its original glory. She opted for some fresh linen and tablecloths, before heading to the supermarket to pick up some toiletries. It was then she remembered the Christmas farm. She checked the opening hours online and was pleasantly surprised that they were open all year round. Harper got into her car and drove towards Applethorpe.
The Christmas Farm was busy with families exploring the farm and feeding the animals. She ordered a coffee at the cafe and sat down at an available table. Today, she didn’t want to rush. If she was being honest with herself, she was avoiding Brookes the only way she knew how, and that was staying away. She’d managed it for six years and this was no different. Kissing him back had been a mistake.
While waiting for her coffee, Harper checked her work emails. There was one requesting an updated on her final report, and she quickly typed up a response. She deleted the junk emails and left anything that wasn’t urgent for when she returned. A strange feeling overcame her as she thought about the office and her job. Did she even want to go back? It wasn’t a thought she’d entertained before. She’d made a career, giving it up now would be ludicrous. She quickly brushed the thought away.
After her coffee, Harper took her time looking at the various ornaments and decorations available. Kids squealed in delight as they stumbled on Santa Claus, reindeer and elves, while the parents pulled them away from all the breakables. When she made it to the fresh trees, the scent of fresh pine hit immediately reminding her of Europe in the winter. Harper picked up three small pine trees that would work well on the long table that Brookes had planned for the Christmas in July dinner. She considered getting a large tree too but decided against it. Either she or Brookes could come and get it when they had the right measurements and knew exactly where the tree would sit. The farm was open most days of the week, so they could pop in at any time. After making her purchases, Harper packed up the car and headed back to the family estate; she’d drop off her purchases once everything was ready to set up.
Inside the house,Harper found Georgia resting in the sun chair with her eyes closed. She didn’t want to disturb her, so she quietly made her way to her room and changed. She sat on the bed and unintentionally thought about what the past six years might have been like had she stayed. No, whatever images came to mind were a fantasy. They wouldn’t have been possible. She’d had a good life here, and most of the time she and Brookes were happy, but they had wanted two completely different things back then, and if she stayed it wouldn’t have worked. One of them would have resented the other; she was certain of it. And now? She entertained the thought for a moment. Now they had a vineyard to deal with, then it was back to the life she’d built in the city.
Harper looked up when she heard a knock on the door.
‘Hey sis,’ Tyler stood at the door in full military uniform.
‘Hey, you’re all dressed up.’
‘Duty calls. Thought I’d say goodbye before I leave. Who knows when we’ll see you again?’
Harper raised an eyebrow. ‘I’m only a few hours away.’
‘And yet you didn’t bother to visit once in six years.’
‘It’s complicated.’
‘Maybe, but don’t let the past dictate your future.’
‘Sometimes there’s no other choice.’
‘There’s always a choice, and things are never as bad as you think they are.’
‘Look at you, coming up with all these words of wisdom.’
He smiled. ‘I’m usually full of shit, but you know I’m right about that.’
‘How long are you away for?’ Harper asked, wanting to change the subject.
‘A few weeks to a few months. It’s never certain.’
‘Do you know where you’re going?’
He pursed his lips. ‘Top secret.’
‘Well, look after yourself.’
‘You too, Harper. And don’t sell Mathers Vineyard. I know it feels like you might never come back here, or don’t want to come back, but give yourself time. Once you sell it, you can never get it back.’
It was easy to say, and her younger brother had a point, but keeping the property only came with its own set of complications. She had a feeling that the past might catch up to her future, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to stick around to see it clash.
After the goodbye with Tyler,who she wasn’t certain when she’d see again, Harper poured herself a glass of wine, and wandered down towards the vineyard. Taking her time, she surveyed the dormant vines; getting ready for spring when the leaves would appear and the grapes grow and ripen before being picked and crushed. She used to love the process. There was a rhythm to it, a cycle of life that repeated each year, each season playing a role in the creation of the bottle that would end up on the lips of many at dinner parties, dates, picnics, restaurants, romantic rendezvous, and more. Wine played such a significant role in people’s lives. It brought them together, and that’s one thing that she loved about it.
‘You’re having second thoughts.’
Harper turned. Georgia was right behind her. She hadn’t even heard her approach. She hadn’t realised how lost in thought she’d actually been.
‘No, just reminiscing.’
‘It’s okay to change your mind, dear,’ she said. ‘That’s the wonderful thing about life and choices, if you’re lucky to have them. You’re not the same person today as you were yesterday. You can choose. Just because something felt right six years ago, isn’t going to make it so today. Time changes things. You have changed, so have the people around you.’
‘It’s not that simple.’
‘Of course, it isn’t. If life was simple, it would be boring. Life is messy, and it’s one thing that makes it wonderful. You’re still young, there’s still so much you can do. Don’t limit yourself, Harper. Don’t make yourself believe you have to do something when you don’t really want to do it. The best thing you can do for you is to never lie to yourself, because the more you do that, the more of the real you disappears, and something else remains, a part that is neither here nor there, a part that isn’t living, just existing. And that’s a sad way to be.’
‘You sound like you talk from experience.’
‘I was young once, and not always this carefree. The comfort and freedom of it comes with age if you let it.’
Georgia put her arm around Harper and brought her in for a hug. She kissed her on the forehead and pulled away again.
‘Making a choice that goes against what you thought you believed to be right for so long will never be easy. But it’s not meant to be easy. Whatever decision you make, make sure that it comes from not just your head, but your heart, too. You deserve to be happy, Harper, no matter what you might think or tell yourself.’
Happiness. She wasn’t unhappy; it was more like living in limbo, at least it had been for the past six years. Maybe it was time to confront the past head on? She just didn’t know how that looked yet.
‘Thanks Georgia.’
‘Come help me with dinner. It’s going to be a late one tonight. And I promise not to sprout any more of my useless wisdom on you.’
‘What you say is never useless.’
‘Just an old woman’s gibberish. Come dear, we’ve got a group to feed.’