Chapter 34
Harper shivered, partially from the cold and a bit from fear. Someone was targeting her specifically, but who and why, she couldn’t fathom. She went back inside while Brookes remained outside finishing up with the Constable and Sergeant. He seemed friendly with one of them and she wondered what the Constable had meant about Brookes not taking the law into his own hands.
In the kitchen, she took out two wine glasses and found a lone unopened bottle on a small wine rack in the kitchen which she hadn’t noticed before. Opening it, she poured two glasses, then sat the bottle down beside them. Leaning against the counter, she took one glass, swirled the wine around, sniffed, then took a sip. The first one always took a little longer to savour the taste and discover the hidden tannins. It gave her something else to focus on and calm her mind.
‘Your hands are shaking.’ he said reaching for her glass and putting it down on the counter before taking her hands in his and pulling her towards him. She let him hold her for a moment and in his arms the tension released, and she was no longer afraid. That feeling of safety was too comforting, and she pulled away.
‘Do you want me to take you home? We can get a tow truck in the morning.’
She shook her head as she picked up her wine.
‘I’ll make sure one of the rooms upstairs has spare sheets.’
She smiled. He was being polite, a gentleman. But with each passing moment, all she wanted to do was to lead him into the bedroom and rip his clothes off. Instead, she took another sip of wine. ‘I can do it myself.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘You’ve said that quite a few times of late.’
‘I’m not afraid of being honest with you.’
Maybe some things do change. Six years ago, he wasn’t always honest, but neither had she.
‘Don’t tell Georgia about this. I don’t want to worry her.’
‘Believe me, it’s not me you have to worry about. Word will get around and by the time she’s having her morning cup of tea, she’ll know what’s going on. Constable Graves likes to talk with his wife, and his wife likes to talk to everyone.’
‘Fantastic.’
‘You know how it is. Everyone knows your business before you do around here.’
She laughed. She loved and hated that about the place. Secrets did not stay secrets for long. ‘Do you think whoever it was will come back?’ The idea that someone was going to such lengths to scare her was worrisome. What had they intended for tonight? What would have happened if Brookes hadn’t shown up when he did? Playing the what if game wasn’t going to help her, it only increased her anxiety. Maybe she should have left immediately, maybe she shouldn’t have come at all.
‘I don’t think so,’ he said. ‘I don’t know.’
‘I’m scared.’
‘I wish there was something more I could do.’
‘Coming back here was a bad idea. I should have stayed in the city.’
‘What are you talking about?’ Brookes said, stepping away and looking her straight in the eye.
‘Nothing.’
‘What aren’t you saying? Has this happened before?’
Putting the wineglass to her lips, she recalled as time passed. Years ago, when she was still living here. Still calling the estate home and planning a future with Brookes. She still remembered like it was yesterday. At first, the hints had been subtle that she hadn’t noticed. After a time, the threats became more prominent. Thinking back, she should have told the police, but she packed her bags and left.
‘Harper.’
‘Hmm,’ she said, staring past him at nothing in particular other than a shadow on the wall.
‘Has this happened before?’
‘Yes.’
‘Back in the city?’
She shook her head. ‘No, before I left. Here.’
‘You never said anything.’
‘It was for the best.’
‘For who? For you? It sure as hell wasn’t for anyone you left behind.’
She could have argued that point, but it was too late now. Rehashing the details wasn’t going to change over the past six years. She did it for her family; she did it for him.
‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘You left, without a word you just packed your bags and left.’
‘I didn’t have a choice.’ She wasn’t sure she believed that anymore.
‘Bullshit. There is always a choice. You chose to go.’
‘That’s right. I wanted to go. I wanted to live, to try something else.’ She’d used it as the catalyst for her decision.
‘I wasn’t enough.’
‘It’s not all about you.’
‘Seems nothing was.’
’You had everything planned out for us, from start to finish. It was suffocating.’
‘And that scared you?’
‘It scared the hell out of me.’
‘You couldn’t have just talked about it.’
‘I…’
‘Come on, use your words, Harper.’
She hesitated, but what good did keeping quiet do her. ‘I wanted more. I wanted something beyond this place.’
‘You could have told me.’
‘You would have never left.’
‘You don’t know that,’ he said running his hands through his hair. ‘I loved you. I love you. For crying out loud, Harper. I wanted to marry you.’
‘I know.’ She didn’t look him in the eye knowing the fresh heart ache it must cause him.
‘You knew?’
‘I saw the ring.’
‘That’s why you left?’
‘It was one of the reasons.’
‘So you didn’t love me. All the years together, that was, what, a lie?’
‘I wasn’t ready, Brookes.’
‘And now?’
‘I…’ she wasn’t sure. She loved him, but she was still resisting.
‘I’m not going to wait forever, Harper.’
‘I left because you wanted a life, a marriage, a family. I don’t know if I can give you that.’
‘Why?’
‘Because…’ she hesitated again. If she said it out loud it would make it real.
‘That’s not an answer.’
‘I like this. I like the freedom. You want two kids, a couple of dogs and a white picket fence. That’s not me, Brookes. It never was and it never will be.’
’No,’ he said. ‘All I want is you.’
‘I’m going to bed,’ she said, putting down her glass. She didn’t want to talk about this, rehash memories that would only cause more pain. She didn’t regret leaving, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt.
As she walked past him, he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him. She didn’t resist. The touch of his skin against her sent electrical shots through her nerve endings. His fingertips touched her cheek, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear without him taking his eyes from her.
Harper’s stomach did a tumble turn. It was at that moment she knew she should have walked away, but there was no resistance left in her and instead she let his mouth covet hers. His skin felt like fire, warming her up and releasing the tension of the evening. When a moment ago she felt tight and wound up, his kiss pushed it all aside, releasing her from the chains of anxiety and fear. In that moment, it was just them. Everything else ceased to exist. How easy would it be to just let go completely and feel like this forever?