Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
“Heaven help me,” Edith whispered, releasing a heavy breath.
She lay stiffly in bed, staring up at the dark canopy above her. Even in the dimness of the chamber, her eyes caught a faint seam in the overhead fabric that she’d never noticed before.
She groaned softly, turning onto her side in frustration.
What am I doing?
It was nearly midnight, and yet she had not managed to get a wink of sleep.
Perhaps Aaron has cursed me with sleeplessness.
The thought made her frown deeper into her pillow, partly because she knew it could not be true. Aaron was the sole reason she couldn’t sleep, yes, but he did not possess magical powers.
She dragged the blanket higher over her head even as her thoughts refused to settle. How could they, when the man haunting her mind was in the chamber just across from hers? Only two walls away.
Aaron had kissed her so softly that it unsettled her far more than anything else he could have done. The memory of the kiss haunted her. His heavy breaths, his dark green eyes, and the way his chest heaved against hers.
The moment had been perfect while it lasted, but then he had ordered her to forget it, as though it were nothing but a minor inconvenience.
Edith scoffed.
As if.
She kicked the blankets off her feet, her face heating in embarrassment.
She had kissed him back just as fervently. She had put her arm around his neck and slid her tongue into his mouth first. There was nothing worse than that, and the fact that she’d done it without thinking made her want to vanish without a trace.
Her gaze flitted toward the door, and she exhaled.
I ken he’s sleeping perfectly well.
The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth. She hated the fact that it even bothered her at all.
Aaron was arrogant. It was bad enough that he had trapped her in this arrangement. But now he had something else to hold over her. Something she had given to him willingly and could not take back, no matter how much she wished she could.
’Tis no surprise that he can sleep.
She swung her legs over the side of the bed, sitting upright for a moment as she considered storming into his chamber. If she could not rest because of his actions, then he also deserved to spend the entire night awake.
Nay, ‘tis far too petty.
She reached for the lantern on her bedside table, her eyes falling on the folded parchments next to it. Her brow furrowed slightly.
It was all she managed to return with after Aaron had intruded into the healer’s chamber. He had taken her hand before Martin could give her the book.
Perhaps that was why she had time to think about him and his darned kiss.
I willnae allow him to distract me.
She reached for the parchments, scanning through some of the notes she had scribbled during her lessons.
She sighed. It was a struggle to keep her mind on them. She flipped the topmost parchment over onto its clean side, then went to fetch a quill and ink from her drawer.
If anything was going to quiet her mind tonight, it would be drawing.
Her lips pursed as she moved from her bed to the chair, determined to make something out of the night. She pressed the quill slightly against the parchment, tracing the outline of a yarrow.
Her hand moved with ease until it didn’t. A drop of ink fell on the sheet, and she froze, her breath catching in her throat at the image staring back at her.
She had not been drawing a yarrow at all.
She had drawn him. Aaron.
A frustrated sound tore from her throat as she struck the ink straight across his smug face, ruining the image in a single stroke.
It was not enough. She crumpled the parchment and threw it straight into the fire.
Her chest heaved as she stared at the flames, watching the blackened paper curl and disappear. Still, it did not satisfy her to watch the drawing burn. Not in the slightest.
She pressed her palms against her face, groaning softly.
Even before the arrangement, she had known Aaron to be unpredictable. She had expected to experience a certain level of it when she agreed to be his fake betrothed, but not once did she imagine it on this level.
Her thoughts turned on her again, sharper this time, refusing to let her rest.
Why did he kiss me like that? Perhaps he thinks so little of me since I agreed to the arrangement.
The thought made her stomach twist, and her cheeks burned, as though her body rejected the idea.
It cannae be.
She dropped her hands and straightened, releasing a breath that felt loud in the quiet night.
What would Scarlett think of this?
The thought softened her slightly, but only for a moment.
She reached toward the table, nearly grabbing a fresh parchment to write to her best friend, before changing her mind. Scarlett had yet to respond to her previous letter. It would be cruel to burden her with more when she did not yet know how she was faring in her new home.
Edith sighed, climbing back into bed in resignation. As much as she missed her best friend, it was her fault that Scarlett was not here with her. Her heart ached with guilt.
I hope she writes soon.
She closed her eyes, sighing heavily as she drew the blankets up to her side.
Nothing was in her power. She could only hope that Scarlett was fine. And that wherever she was, her husband would grant her leave to visit soon.
She lay still for a long moment, listening to the castle around her. The night watch had long since passed. The corridors beyond her chamber were quiet, the kind of quiet that only existed in the deepest hours, when even the stones of the keep seemed to hold their breath.
She rolled onto her back again, still unable to find sleep.
The fire had burned to a low ember, pulsing faintly in the dark. She watched it settle and thought, against her better judgment, about the moment right after the kiss.
She should have said something to Aaron. Something that would have made it clear that she was not so easily managed. Instead, she had lain there in silence and watched him leave like a woman with no spine.
This willnae happen again.
She held onto the thought as though it were the most important thing, and it was. She’d be damned if she allowed herself to fall so easily a second time.
Dawn came slower than ever.
Edith watched the pale light slip into her room through the open windows, her eyes burning faintly from exhaustion as the long, sleepless night finally slipped away from her.
She had not realized when she stopped trying to sleep.
At some point, she had simply lain there, staring blankly at the canopy as she allowed the same endless circle of thoughts to take over her mind. The memories returned so easily now, and she barely had any energy left to be irritated by them.
That arrogant arse.
It had not even been a week since they agreed to the arrangement, and Aaron had already claimed ownership of a spot in her mind, refusing to allow her a moment of rest.
His face was permanently etched in her memories. And worse still, she could not forget the look in his eyes before he had kissed her and his anger afterward. Neither could she forget the jealousy she had seen, even though she hardly believed it.
She let out a soft breath in resignation, forcing herself out of bed even though her limbs felt heavy and stiff.
The cold seeped into her bones as she padded barefoot across the stone floor, but she did not care. She stood before the window, allowing the pale morning light to wash over her skin.
Aaron’s possessiveness still baffled her. She had thought the situation over a thousand times, and it still did not make any sense. Their arrangement had been his idea in the first place. She knew very well that he intended to end it within a month.
And yet…
Edith sighed, leaning against the window frame with her eyes closed.
“This is ridiculous,” she said as the early morning breeze blew softly against her face. Her voice sounded hoarse in the quiet chamber.
Her stomach twisted, and her chest tightened.
Perhaps I have finally lost me senses. Losing sleep over Aaron when he—
The door to her chamber clicked open before she could spiral further. She started, turning toward it. For one ridiculous heartbeat, she had expected it to be Aaron, come to her with flowers and an explanation that would finally settle her racing mind.
The breath she released was heavier than it should have been when she saw Violet instead.
I truly have lost me senses.
“Ye’re awake,” Violet said quietly, a small smile touching her lips.
Edith nodded, her head feeling far too heavy for the slight movement. “Aye.”
If only ye kent.
Violet crossed the room, walking toward the hearth with a small bundle of firewood in her arms. She crouched beside the dying flame, feeding it carefully.
“Ye ken I can do that meself,” Edith offered, moving away from the window.
“Nay.” Violet shook her head. “Nae anymore. Ye are me mistress now.”
Edith let out a tired breath as she reached her bed. “Daenae start with that.”
She sat down on the edge of the bed, watching as Violet expertly coaxed the fire back to life. The warm glow slowly returned to the chamber, softening the cold edges of the morning.
Violet straightened once she seemed satisfied with the flame, brushing her hands together lightly before walking back toward Edith.
“I also came for a favor,” she admitted.
“A favor?” Edith perked up despite herself.
Violet had never asked anything of her before, and now that she was about to, Edith found herself unexpectedly curious.
Violet stepped closer, then hesitated. She leaned in slightly, lowering her voice as though they were not the only people in the room. “How was Martin?”
Edith blinked once. “He was… wonderful,” she said honestly. “Why? Is something wrong? Are ye unwell?”
Violet shook her head so quickly it almost made Edith laugh. “Nay, nay. Nothing like that,” she sputtered. Then she added more quietly, “I was wondering whether he is… engaged.”
Edith stared at her for a heartbeat, then a soft laugh escaped her. Only then did she notice the color rising rapidly to Violet’s cheeks.
Och.
“I cannae quite imagine him with anyone,” she replied gently, her amusement softening her exhaustion. “He is far too… brooding.”
Violet pressed her lips together, clearly holding back a smile.
“But,” Edith added, her smile growing slightly. “I shall do me research.”
Violet’s face lit up. She shifted awkwardly from one foot to another, suddenly unable to hold still.
Edith watched in quiet disbelief as the maid blushed over the healer. And for a moment, she forgot about Aaron completely.
She forgot about his lips, his eyes, and his sharp jaw. Only for a moment. Then, inevitably, her thoughts found their way back to him.