Chapter 11 #2
In all my years, I have never been this torn.
I need to gather a few things for myself as well while we are here, but I absolutely hate leaving her here alone.
I kiss her on the forehead, only to hear her gasp as I turn and walk out the door.
Why I continue doing things like that, I have no idea, because if she had been a maid at home, I would’ve never taken such liberties with her.
But it’s like my mind can’t separate this charade from reality and that makes me wonder if it might be time to take a wife.
Shutting the door gently behind me, I lick my lips, tasting her on them, before making my way across the busy street.
Walking into the general store, I head toward the men’s clothing area, glad to see they have quite a selection.
Just as I am picking up a shirt, Jacob comes out of the fitting room, fighting with his suspenders.
“Did you find everything you needed?”
“I did, … thank you Mr. Kerns. There’s nothing like having to try on three pairs of pants before you find one that you don’t step on or isn’t up to your knees. I have no idea how the women of the world stand all those layers, or how they manage to get them all to fit.”
Laughing, I look around the store, “Where are Colby and Deven?”
“You should have passed them on the way back here. Unless they headed over to where the hats are. I do believe this is the largest mercantile I’ve ever been in.”
“It’s the location; not only do they have all the train customers, but this city just keeps expanding. Let me gather a few items myself Jacob, and I will meet you at the counter.”
It takes me a couple of minutes to find a pair of pants I think will be small enough for Jess before I grab two extra shirts for myself, along with several handkerchiefs for each of us.
With my arms full, I head over to where the tack is, looking for bedrolls, only to find several hanging on the wall.
“Sir, you look like you’re struggling. Would you like a hand? I’m Grayson.”
A young man with the mercantile’s name on his apron steps up beside me. “Yes, please. Are these bedrolls for sale, or is this just a display?”
“Those are all for sale. These are the new ones, but we do have a few used rolls in the back.”
“I need five of these, but one is for a female. Do you have a thicker version?”
“We do, but it’s in the back. Would you like me to check on the price before I bring it out?”
“No, I am sure the price is acceptable. I want her to be as comfortable as I can make her on the trip ahead.”
“Understandable … I will gather these four and bring them up front for you.”
“Can you have one of your men deliver them to the train along with the other items we are purchasing?”
“Absolutely, let me grab Tom from the back and have him bring the cart around. Please, just call out my name if you need any more assistance.”
As I am walking up to the counter, a tea set with eight cups catches my attention.
Oddly, instead of the normal rose designs, this one is decorated with wildflowers, and for some reason, it reminds me of Jessica.
I almost walk past it, but something has me turning back at the last moment.
Picking up one of the small, delicate cups, I can see her holding this in her tiny hands.
I know this is a foolish purchase, but I can’t seem to help myself, even though the odds of all this arriving intact by the time we get to the new homestead are low.
I pick up the tag for the purchase anyway.
Thankfully, Jacob has gathered up the other men, and they are all waiting for me at the counter with their purchases in hand.
The clerk standing at the counter smiles when he sees us all heading his way.
“Gentlemen, please place your items here, and we’ll get it all tallied up.”
He is almost done with the final figures when I tell him. “I’ll also need that tea set packed for an extended trip, along with several boxes of Lady Gray tea if you have it. Oh, and two pounds of sugar cubes.”
“Not a problem, Mr. …”
“Mr. Kerns.”
“I’ll have Grayson gather the rest of these items and have them meet you outside. Is there a particular train car you want them all delivered to?”
“My men will meet you as you head that way with that cart. What is not theirs personally will be stored in one of the cargo trains carrying the furniture we will be hauling.”
The clerk gives me the total, and I hand him the banknotes to cover the amount, only to add a few pieces of candy and a small set of dice I see sitting on the counter.
“It was a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Kerns. Safe travels.”
“Thank you, Sir. I appreciate your kindness.”
When I walk out, I find them all waiting on me. “Gentlemen, if you all would accompany these clerks to the train and go ahead and board. I will gather Miss. Jessica and follow shortly.”
“Mr. Kerns, do you have any specific items that you would like delivered to the sleeper train? “
“Jacob, have the clerk show you the box that is holding the tea set and make sure it’s in a safe location. And if you don’t mind, just hold on to this package until I meet up with you all back at the train.”
“Not a problem, sir. Deven and I will get the rest in the storage cars with the other things.”
“Thank you, Jacob. I appreciate you taking the initiative.”
I look directly over at Caleb, who is too busy looking around to be of any help, and his actions seem to constantly rub me wrong.
Before anyone can distract me further, I’m already crossing the street, and only relax when I walk in the door and see Jessica standing in front of a mirror, trying on a large-brimmed straw hat.
“That’s adorable, you have to have it.”
“Don’t you think it’s a little big?”
“Not at all, it will keep all that pretty skin of yours out of the sun.” Jessica blushes prettily as she turns, taking the hat back off. “Are you ready?”
“Yes, Violet is pinning the coat now, so I can finish it on the train. Reggie, you really didn’t need to get all of this for me, not that I don’t appreciate it, but I’ve never owned so many clothes in my life.
To be honest, I am not sure what I will do with all of it when we finally get to where we’re going. ”
“I’ll build you a wardrobe. I may not look like it, but I can be rather crafty when I need to be.”
“I am sure we are both going to have to learn many new things on this adventure as we go forward.”
My mind hits the gutter as I think of the many things I would like to teach her, only for the seamstress, whose name I’m assuming is Violet, walks out carrying several packages in her hands.
“Mr. Kerns, here are some of the items on your list for your wife. Just give me a few more minutes to wrap the others, and I believe we’ve managed to get this all done with time to spare.”
She disappears into the back again, and I glance around, noticing that Jessica has wandered off looking at a lace shawl with matching gloves.
Her fingers are barely caressing the material, like she’s scared to accidentally ruin it.
The bell over the door rings as other customers start coming in, and I walk up to the counter so that I can pay for the items gathered there.
When the seamstress comes out of the back room, she looks over my shoulder at the ladies waiting.
“Ladies, please browse around. We are finishing up here, and I will be done shortly. Will this be all, Mr. Kerns?”
I glance back to make sure Jessica hasn’t walked up behind me. “I would like to add that shawl and the matching gloves as well. Can you wrap them separately?”
“Absolutely! It’s rare that I see a man pay so much attention to his wife and the things she needs.”
“Jess is easy to please and to buy for. I enjoy spoiling her.”
“I pray you two have many good years together, as she spoke just as favorably about you. I’ll have one of the boys who helps me out here run these bags to the train as soon as I get that last one wrapped.
” She lowers her voice so that Jessica can’t hear us.
“I’ll wrap the shawl with blue ribbon so that you know which one it is. ”
“Thank you Violet, you’ve been more than helpful.”
Jessica walks up to me, and I hand her a small piece of cinnamon candy I picked up at the mercantile, and she rewards me with a huge smile. When Violet gives me the total, I hand her the money only to watch the smile suddenly leave Jessica’s lips.
“What’s the matter, dear?”
“You can put a few things back if you need to. Reggie. That’s more than I’ve made in the last two years.”
Without thinking, I pull her into my arms laughing and hugging her tightly while kissing the top of her head, before leaning back away from her. “You’re worth it! Come on Jess, we have a train to catch.”
I’ve just tucked her arm in mine when I hear the seamstress yell, “Jessica, dear, here is your package. I didn’t want it to be confused with the others.”
I watch as she hugs the woman as if she has known her for her entire life, then walk quickly back to me, the package held tightly against her chest. When I look at her questioningly, I literally see her shrink into herself, and I immediately miss the girl with the huge smile.
“If you required something else Jess, I would have gotten it for you.”
“NO! I used my own funds for this. I didn’t think it was appropriate for you to buy me such personal items, and in my hurry to catch the train on the first day, I forgot to pack all the necessities. I was lucky that Violet had extra and was able to obtain them here.”
“Okay, I am at a loss as to what in the world would be that personal that I couldn’t get it for you?”
“You are really going to make me say it, aren’t you?”
“It will bother me until you do.” We have just stepped out of the store, and I swear, if her head could go any lower, she would be walking on it. Upset that she is distraught, I stop and put a finger under her chin, making her look at me.
“Jess, what in the world has upset you so?”
She closes her eyes and sighs. “I needed supplies for my courses. Are you happy now?”
Wiping a random tear off her cheek, I realize she is truly embarrassed. “I am sorry, Honey. I’m a pushy bastard, so the next time, just tell me it’s none of my damn business.”
She shakes her head and wipes her eyes quickly before tucking her hand back into my arm. “No, I am just overreacting; you probably know more about the female body than I do. It just made me uncomfortable speaking of it.”
“My poor mother suffered horribly with her menses and because I was her only child, when I asked what was wrong, she was truthful and forthcoming with information I didn’t always want to hear.
Being a woman is a trial as you’re expected to walk, talk, and act a certain way all the time.
There is no room for sickness or simply a bad day, as you are expected to always hold yourself in a certain manner.
I want you to know right now that nothing you say to me would shock me, and I would prefer you to be honest, even if it’s a little embarrassing. ”
Jess just looks up at me like I am an oddity. We’re only a few streets away when we hear the train whistle.
“Oh Reggie, should we run?”
“No, not unless you just want to. That is the first whistle and they do that so dummies know to get their asses back to the train as it’s leaving in thirty minutes.”
Thankfully, when we get to the train, the cart from the mercantile has been unloaded, and the men are simply standing on the walkway stretching their legs before boarding once again, as the next part of the trip is several days longer with no significant breaks.
The moment we get closer, Colby separates himself from the others, heading straight toward Jessica.
“Jessie, have you ever seen so much stuff in one place? I thought Jersey was big, but this place is huge.”
“Actually, it was a little overwhelming for me, Colby. I was happy to be stuck with the seamstress for most of the day.”
“Crap Jessie, I should have come and gotten you. We could’ve walked around and possibly gotten that ice cream I’ve heard so many talk about.”
Because I don’t want to hear her answer, I interrupt them rudely. “Jess, you might want to go ahead and get on board. I need to check on Bells before heading to OUR room.”
The smile she bestows on me is completely different from the polite one she had on her face all this time, and I feel myself puff up a little, and I pull her even closer when she asks in front of everyone,
“Can I come with you?”