45. Kate
It’s been three weeks, and I swear, my belly has ballooned overnight. Everything is tight and uncomfortable, not to mention the sweltering heat makes it all worse. If every single wolf shifter in the pack didn’t mosey in and out of the lodge all day, I’d lounge around naked. That’s how miserable this is at times.
I’m starting to get the feeling I’m not cut out for doing this a second time. Annalise assures me that my emotions are normal and that I’ll forget all about the misery once my son is born.
There’s no doubt in my mind that I’ll love the fur ball and protect him with my life, but the next time I go into heat, I’m latching a chastity belt around my hoo-ha and closing up shop until it passes. I’ll have to have Maddy hide the key, or maybe Ivy will do it for me. They and Storm are the only ones Kane and I can’t use our alpha powers on to demand it back when the heat cycle becomes unbearable.
Annalise is still sleeping at the lodge, but she doesn’t spend all day here anymore like she used to. She comes and goes. Trez and Jagger are here daily, too. We all eat dinner together unless it’s one of the nights during the week or on the weekend that the pack does a bonfire and cookout. They mostly sleep at Jagger’s place not far from here. Though, I guess it’s their place now like the lodge and cabin are Kane’s and mine.
The front door opens, making my hand pause and my head snap up. Becca slips inside, closing the door behind her. She’s dressed in dark-colored cargo pants and a loose white top. Her attire matches my style more than my mother’s, but I’ve gotten so used to leggings that several pairs may be in my future once the baby is out of my tummy.
“You busy?” she asks, still standing by the door with her arms clasped behind her back, her heels tipping back like she’s nervous. Not very Rebecca Orion-like at all.
“Not really. Annalise made a feast like she does every morning. I just finished cleaning up.”
I swipe the used, dirty paper towel off the island and toss it in the trash. Turning my back to her, I quickly wash my hands and dry them using the dish towel that hangs left of the kitchen sink.
“You looking for Kane or Trez?” I ask when she continues to stand there, staring at me nervously.
“No. I’m here to see you. Figured it was high time to stop dodging you.”
It did seem like she’s been avoiding me. Last week I even speculated if it had anything to do with her not liking me being her son’s mate, but then I started to recognize the emotions of others when they were close to me or while their eyes were on me. With Becca, I sensed sadness and regret and something else I couldn’t put a finger on.
Those are the same vibes I’m getting from her now.
“Why were you dodging me?” I question while stepping in front of the refrigerator. Pulling the door open, I grab a bottle of water off the shelf. “Want anything?”
“No, thank you.” She shakes her head and walks forward, nearing the island.
I close the door. Turning back to face her, I twist the plastic cap off and tip the bottle to my lips.
“It was my fault,” she states, her words rushed. I arch an eyebrow, silently waiting for her to explain. “The night you and my son were taken. You were sleeping over at my house,” she informs me. “Here, actually, back when Dante and I called the lodge home. You and Trez were having a normal sleepover like you did often. You two were inseparable. And…” Her hands go to her face, covering her mouth as a sob escapes her lips.
I slam the bottle onto the counter, not caring if I spill any. I skate to her quickly, wrapping my arms around her back and pulling Becca into a tight embrace. After several breaths, her arms drop between us and wrap around my wide waist, my belly pressing against her flat front.
“It’s okay,” I assure her.
“It’s not. It’s my fault that you and Trez didn’t grow up here or have the life you were meant to have.”
“We’re here now. You can’t change the past. It happened. We’re back, and I don’t blame you, Becca. It wasn’t your fault. Bad people plotted against all of you. It’s on them, not you.”
“Dante, Eli, and the two older boys were on a camping trip,” she continues like she didn’t hear a word I said. “Annalise was enjoying a break she woke up to regret, and you were with me. It was my job to protect you and Trez. Don’t you see I failed?”
I pull back to look her in the eyes but keep my hands cupped around her shoulders. Tears run down her cheeks, and everything in me wishes I could work the same alpha power Kane used on my mother when she was so upset weeks ago. Only I haven’t learned how, but after today, Kane is going to stop everything he’s doing to teach me.
“Stop blaming yourself. Magic was used. You know this, I know this, the pack knows it too. It wouldn’t have mattered if we’d been at your house or somewhere else. They would have found a way. If you aren’t going to stop feeling responsible, then you have to find a way to forgive yourself even though I don’t believe you’ve done anything that warrants forgiveness, Becca.”
“Maybe you don’t, Kate, and”—she sniffles and breathes, her cheeks soaked—“I’m grateful you don’t hate me for everything Everhart and his awful pack put you both through, but knowing all I know, it’s hard to not feel partially responsible. If nothing else, I should have offered you and him a home that first year. We should have welcomed you as more than just guests. I’m sorry.”
Over the years, I’ve shared a lot with Becca and Annalise. More than I would have if I’d known Annalise was my mother. It’s not that I’m ashamed of what they know. But now I feel like I’ve placed a heavy burden on their shoulders.
I also know if she’d done that, we still would have ended up back in Rivermoon until Dick was ready to roll out his plan. He’s cunning, and that still scares me. He would have used his witch to force us back. Becca wouldn’t have been able to prevent that.
“Everything will be fine. We’re home. We’re back where we belong.”
“I know.”
“You good?”
“Yeah.” She nods, her eyes red and full of emotions, her tears gone. “I just wanted to get that off my chest, and”—she pulls in a breath, then lets it flow back out of her mouth—“to see if you’ve seen your mo... I mean, Annalise.”
“It’s okay if you want to call her my mom. I know she is. I’m just not there yet, but I’ll get there.”
“Trez said those exact words to me a few weeks ago.”
He told me when they found me, he returned to have his own heart-to-heart with his mother and that they’ve been building a relationship ever since. I’m happy for him. I’m happy for myself too. It feels like I get closer to Annalise with each passing day. Elijah and I have even gone on two other rides, me sitting in comfortable silence while he drives.
“She left the lodge an hour ago. Said she needed to grab some things from her house.”
“Eli mentioned he was going to swing by their house too. That was about an hour ago,” she tells me.
“Good. Maybe they’re working their shit out.”
“I hope so,” she agrees. “She and I can make up tomorrow.” She pulls in what feels like a cleansing breath as she closes her eyes. On a long exhale, they slowly open. “I’m going to go find my mate. That man knows how to soothe me better than I do myself. Thank you, Kate. Thank you for staying. Thank you for keeping Kane here. I was wrong when I said he shouldn’t be alpha. He’s good for the pack, and you’re going to be great for all of us too.”
“He is”—I nod—“and I hope so. I want to be.”
She steps back and starts for the door when I say, “Why don’t you and Dante come for dinner tonight?”
“We’d love to.” She offers a smile then pulls the door open.
My eyes flick over her shoulder, seeing Maddy with Ashleigh standing behind her.
“Oh, hey, Aunt Becca.”
She isn’t Maddy’s actual aunt. They aren’t blood or even related by marriage, but I’ve never heard Maddy not refer to Becca and Annalise as her aunt.
“Hey, sweet girl,” she says as she steps around them as they walk inside.
Once Ashleigh closes the door, Maddy purses her lips.
“Ash wouldn’t let us come inside. Said you were consoling Aunt Becca.”
“Eavesdropping?” I arch an eyebrow as I cock my head.
“It’s part of my job.” She shrugs, not bothered by being tattled on.
That makes a laugh bubble up my throat and past my lips. “That is so not your job.”
I slide my stare to Maddy while she pulls out a stool, making herself comfortable.
“I thought you had class today?” I ask as the front door opens again, this time with Storm walking in, her long dress sweeping the floor as she swings around to push it closed.
Maddy is in college and mostly takes courses online during the fall and spring semesters, but she has one class she’s been attending in person this summer.
“Her professor is out again today, so no class for our poor Maddy,” Ash says in a mocking way that looks like she’s trying to egg on her roommate.
They have a sister-like relationship, with Ashleigh being the overprotective big sister type. It doesn’t help that Kane and Jagger view her similarly. With Maddy being human, they watch her like a hawk, which is another reason I was surprised Kane allowed Laney to work at his body shop when I’ve heard she’s bullied Maddy since they were kids. I’m glad she’s gone. Good riddance, I say.
“Why did you say it like that?” I ask, but with the way Maddy blushes, I’m confident I can guess.
“Because she wants to do him,” Storm snickers. “Her much older, more experienced, and highly forbidden professor.”
“You have the hots for your teacher?” I ask, laughing at Storm’s comical dramatics.
“Mr. Ambrose is not that much older than me.” She narrows her eyes at Storm, annoyed. When Maddy flicks her blue gaze back to mine, her long, wavy, sunny-blonde hair slips from, covering half of her face, making her tuck it back behind her ear. “He’s thirty. And yes, I like him. He’s hot. You’d understand if you saw him, Kate.”
“She’s in love with his accent,” Ash adds.
“You guys are the worst friends ever,” she tells them. “He’s really sweet and smart and handsome and…”
“British.” Storm laughs.
“And doesn’t even know I exist, so it’s a moot point. It’ll never happen,” she pouts.
“You’re his student. He has to know who you are,” I assure her, not liking that she is selling herself short. Maddy is beautiful. It’s surprising she doesn’t have a boyfriend. “Have you looked at yourself in a mirror lately? Girl, you’re hot too.”
“He calls me by the wrong name at least once a week. Trust me, Axton wouldn’t recognize me if we bumped into each other outside of his classroom.”
“I seriously doubt that,” I reiterate. “Maybe he just doesn’t want to get fired for fraternizing with a student.”
“And he better keep it that way,” Ashleigh growls. My stare slides to her hands resting on the island, her claws slowly extracting. “Or I’ll shred his balls. Maddy needs to focus on her education, not some old man’s dick.”
“I have the highest grade in his class,” Maddy defends herself. “Stop calling him old. He’s only five years older than you.”
“And not worth your time if he can’t even remember his best student’s name,” Ash says in a scolding tone.
“Whatever.” Maddy rolls her eyes as she pushes against the edge of the island, forcing the stool to scoot back. At the same time, a sound chirps, telling us someone received a text message. Maddy stands and pulls her phone out from her back pocket. When she eyes the screen, her facial expression turns to shock, then confusion, to lighting up like it’s Christmas morning. “I’ll catch you guys later.”
She pivots and almost skips to the door.
“Who the fuck just texted you?” Ashleigh demands.
“Don’t worry about it, Mom,” she sasses, her tone deep like she’s attempting her best guy voice. “I’m an adult.” The door swings open, her phone still in her hands with her eyes glued to the screen as she walks out. “Later, Kate.”
After hearing her feet stomp down the wooden patio steps, Storm rolls her head to Ash. “At least Maddy cares about school. Ivy wants nothing to do with it. She is such a pain in my ass.”
“Why don’t you let me talk to her,” I offer. I overheard Kane telling Storm last week to register Ivy for high school.
“Yes, yes, and yes. Thank you, Kate.” Storm sighs. “I love my sister, but she’s at that age where she doesn’t want to listen to reason and believes she knows what’s best for herself.”
“Know where she is?” I ask.
“Yeah. I was scrying her location before I came over. She was near yours and Kane’s cabin fifteen minutes ago.”
“Then that’s where I’ll start.”