Chapter 9 Wyatt
WYATT
The evening had gone well, and after they’d eaten and soaked up some of the alcohol, Wyatt accompanied Titus and his friends back to their hotel. Thora and Edith excused themselves to go to bed, and Wyatt remained with Titus and Finn.
‘What an evening!’ Titus collapsed onto a chair in the hotel bar.
Finn perched on the edge of a chair but then shook his head. ‘Nope. Sorry, guys, I have to go to bed. I’m not used to partying so hard and I need some sleep.’
‘Mind if I stay up for a bit?’ Titus asked.
‘Of course not.’ Finn leant over and kissed him. ‘See you later. Thanks for a great time, Wyatt.’
‘You’re very welcome. Glad you enjoyed yourself.’ Wyatt smiled and then stifled a yawn. ‘I’m quite tired myself.’
As Finn walked away, Titus said, ‘Time for one more drink?’
‘Yeah, why not? It’s not like we get much of a chance to burn the midnight oil these days.’
Wyatt ordered two double brandies at the bar, then returned to the circle of chairs.
They sat in silence for a few moments and then Wyatt said, ‘You seem really happy.’
‘Happiest I’ve ever been.’ Titus nodded slowly. ‘Finn is the one. Before him, I don’t think I believed in such romantic concepts, but now I do. I can’t imagine wanting to be with anyone else, ever.’
‘He’s a good guy.’ Wyatt swirled the amber liquid in his glass, the dim light from the lamps catching on its surface, then took a sip, savouring the gentle burn of the brandy as he swallowed.
‘We fit.’ Titus stretched out his long legs. ‘With Finn, everything makes sense.’
Wyatt raised his glass. ‘Here’s to the ones who complete us.’
Titus leant across the table and clinked his glass against Wyatt’s. ‘Yes, indeed.’
They drank and then Titus set his glass on the table and rested his elbows on his knees. ‘So what about you?’
‘Me?’ Wyatt said, surprised.
‘Yeah… I know you’ve had some brief flings over the years, but has there been no one special?’ His gaze rested on Wyatt’s face, steady but gentle. ‘Is there anyone now?’
Wyatt cleared his throat and ran a finger around the open collar of his shirt. ‘Not really. I mean… Like you said, there have been women but no one special.’
‘Never?’ Titus sat back and crossed one long leg over the other. ‘I always had the impression there could have been someone in the past and that you never got over her.’
Wyatt blinked, caught off guard. Titus was a good friend, and they talked about lots of things, but this topic had always been one he’d avoided.
It hurt far too much to talk about what he’d done and why he’d done it.
He gave a small shrug. ‘I… I guess I’ve been waiting until I met someone who made everything make sense like Finn does for you. ’
Titus picked up his glass and ran a finger around the rim, then licked his lips. ‘Wyatt… You’re a dear friend and I care about you. I’ve known you a long time now, and I don’t think you’re being completely honest with me.’
Titus had never pushed before. Maybe because they lived on opposite sides of the Atlantic, or maybe because Wyatt had always deflected with a joke. But tonight, with the fire low and the brandy warm, there was nowhere to hide.
Wyatt’s cheeks grew warm and he shifted on his seat. ‘Titus… I… You’re right. About this, I haven’t been completely honest, but my background is complicated and—’
‘I know about your family and how difficult that’s been for you. Well, what you felt you could share with me.’ Titus’ eyes were kind and his expression was open. He was inviting Wyatt to confide in him.
‘There was someone. A woman. Over a decade ago, and I-I never got over her.’ Wyatt stared into his glass. His jaw clenched.
Titus waited. The silence stretched out between them, comfortable and encouraging confidence. Wyatt gazed down at the floor as the weight of his past settled over him like a dark cloud. He shook himself to move it away again and looked up, meeting Titus’ gaze.
‘She was everything and for that reason, when I graduated from university, I had to let her go.’
‘What happened?’ Titus asked.
‘Our relationship fell apart. Not immediately, but over a period of time. She was based in the UK; I was back in New York. I neglected her, and the distance between us grew. I told myself it was for the best, that she deserved better than me and better than I could give her.’ His chest squeezed as the pain pierced it like a jagged knife.
‘I’ve never stopped thinking about her or wondering if she’s well.
I-I’ve never stopped thinking about what might have been, but…
it couldn’t have worked, and it wouldn’t have been fair on her. ’
‘So she’s the one who got away?’
Wyatt inclined his head. ‘She was the one who got away, but I guess I pushed her too. It was my fault, and I’ve never forgiven myself for letting her go even though I knew it was the only way.
’ He gave a wry laugh. ‘Sorry… this isn’t the type of maudlin conversation you need from your best man on such a happy day. ’
‘Don’t do that, Wyatt. There’s no need. We’re friends, and I’m here for you whatever’s going on in my life. I appreciate the honesty. Have you ever thought about trying to find her again?’
Wyatt bit down on his tongue and exhaled.
‘You already have?’ Titus’ voice rose, and he frowned. ‘Oh…’ His eyes widened and his brows climbed his smooth forehead.
‘What?’ Wyatt asked, swallowing the rest of his drink and gripping the tumbler between both hands.
‘It’s… I can see it now. The way you both froze when you saw each other. The way she wouldn’t look directly at you. The way you kept looking at her anyway. But how?’
‘How what?’ Wyatt’s shoulders bunched with tension.
‘How did you know each other?’ Titus leant forwards in his chair.
‘Know who?’ Wyatt placed his glass on the table carefully, his palms so clammy he was worried he’d drop it.
‘Edith.’ Titus watched him, his eyes filled with understanding.
‘Oh…’ Wyatt slumped back in his chair. ‘You guessed.’
‘There were some clues. The way you two reacted to seeing each other made me wonder at first if you’d met before.
But I thought, hey, they’re two attractive single people, so of course there’s a chance they’d admire each other.
However… there was all that tension simmering throughout the whole day… ’ Titus grinned.
‘Tension?’ Wyatt sighed.
‘Hell yeah! It was like a pressure cooker whenever you got close to each other, and by the time we were making cocktails… well… I doubt I was the only one who noticed something was up.’
Wyatt hesitated, thinking back over the day and wondering if he had been obvious about the fact that he knew Edith and had some residual feelings for her.
Because he did. He’d thought it was all in the past, but spending time with her had confirmed that his feelings were not gone.
Edith still had the ability to affect him, and it disturbed him.
He still found her very attractive, but more than that…
he still liked her and cared about her. About what she was thinking and feeling and how she was coping with all that life had thrown at her.
When there were thousands of miles between them, he could pretend that he didn’t care about her, but when she was right in front of him, it was impossible to deny that Edith was special.
‘We met at university and fell in love. She was everything to me for a long time and then… I had to return to New York, and I couldn’t bear the thought of ruining her life with everything that I have to deal with.
It simply wasn’t fair to burden her with it all.
I thought about her and I looked for her on social media, scanned her Facebook page for new photos so I could see how she was.
I thought I’d be able to see that she was OK, and that she was getting on with her life and that would be enough.
But you know what it’s like… You can’t tell how someone is from just a photo, and it just made the longing for her worse so then I tried not to do it.
Sometimes I weakened, but mostly I kept busy with work and avoided looking for her.
The distance between us meant I could put her out of my mind for hours at a time some days.
Sometimes, to relieve the need to see her, I’d write her letters.
Letters that I never sent. Stupidly, I thought I could forget her. ’
‘And how did it feel seeing her today?’ Titus spoke softly, his gaze scanning Wyatt’s face.
‘Hard and wonderful all at once. I wanted to hug her, kiss her and walk away from her at the same time. And she looked so angry when she saw me, like she hated me, and I couldn’t blame her.
I deserve her anger because I didn’t deal with things well when I left.
I didn’t show her the love and respect she deserved. ’
‘What would you say to her now if you could?’
Wyatt pondered the question. ‘If I was brave enough, I’d thank her for loving me the way she did and apologise for being weak. I’d try to explain what made me leave her, and yet I still don’t know if I could be completely honest about that because it’s all so complicated.’
‘Life is complicated, Wyatt, but it’s also brief. Too brief to let the one person you love walk away. Perhaps this is life giving you a second chance to tell Edith that she’s the one.’
They fell quiet, the hush between them ruffled only by the clinking of glasses as the bartender collected them from tables and the low hum of conversation from other people enjoying a late-night drink.
Wyatt watched the bartender as he moved seamlessly around the room.
Memories and regrets swirled above him like flocks of hungry birds.
Inside him, Titus’ words stirred a glimmer of hope that he was afraid to acknowledge.
What if he reached out to Edith? What if he told her everything?
Would it make a difference, and even if it did, how could they possibly go backwards?
So much had happened in the meantime, and there was so much they hadn’t shared over the past decade.
Pain, grief, and remorse tangled in his chest along with the flicker of hope and the fierce attraction he still felt towards her.
‘I need to think about it,’ he said eventually, and Titus nodded.
‘You do that, buddy. You’ll be spending plenty of time around Edith over the next few months, so you’ll get a better sense of where she’s at too.’
‘I guess I will.’ Wyatt rose from his seat. ‘I’m going to head out and walk some of this off before bed.’
‘Good plan.’ Titus walked out to the reception area with him and then gave him a hug. ‘Sleep well, my friend.’
As Titus walked away, Wyatt whispered, ‘Maybe I’ll write a letter I’ll actually send this time.’
Out on the dark street, the quiet promise of the city enveloped him as he strolled along the pavement, his footsteps echoing the ache in his heart.
Nothing was over; that much was clear now.
There was anger, resentment and something more that lingered like the heat of a lover’s kiss.
Perhaps he could find a way to make Edith believe that he had always cared about her.
If not, he could at least be honest with her and hope that would provide some peace for his weary heart.