Chapter Nine
There was nothing on TV but old reruns. Avila clicked the Off button on the remote and settled against the sofa. That nightmare
had upset her. If she stayed awake long enough, she could rein in her thoughts, but sleep gave way to nightmares. Now that
she was wide awake, the quietness of her mother’s house haunted her.
The sounds and smells of this house didn’t help either. In fact, they jerked her back to the past faster than a lightning
bolt. Being in this space made her feel like a lonely child again. She forgot that she was a mother with a twelve-year-old
child.
A knock on the door startled her. The clock on the oven read 11:45. Ms. Mable would be asleep by now, and Avila couldn’t imagine
why Terence would be here at this time of night. She slid her fingers between the drapes and peeked out.
The front porch was dark except for a sliver of moonlight, but she recognized Terence’s silhouette.
Avila opened the door. “Hey there.”
Terence looked at her as if she’d interrupted his thoughts. “I know it’s late, but I saw your TV on. Can we talk for a second?”
Avila glanced toward the bedroom where Ebony slept. “Sure. We can sit here in the living room, but we’ll have to be quiet.”
She stepped back, allowing him to step inside quickly so they wouldn’t let the bugs in. “I couldn’t stop thinking about Ebony... and you.”
The sincerity in his voice comforted her.
“How’s she doing in school?”
“Very well. She’s smart as a whip. She gets straight A’s. And she’s talented. I think she has a shot as a professional performer.”
“She got that from you,” he said, smiling.
“Maybe so.”
“Definitely so.”
Avila let out a soft laugh. “You’re right. I hope she keeps up with it and doesn’t quit.”
“That’s possible. I’d cheer her on all the way,” Terence said. “Just like I did with you.”
She glanced at him. “Are you disappointed in me for quitting those pursuits?”
“Disappointed? I was when you first told me, but if you’re happy, then I’m happy. Are you happy?”
If she was honest with herself, she wasn’t. Not fully at least.
“I take your silence as a no,” he said.
A huge no. Still, she couldn’t say the words.
“I want you to be happy,” he said.
All Avila could do was nod. She hadn’t realized how much quitting theater had affected her until they discussed this today.
“I don’t think it’s too late for you to pursue theater either. You can still do that if you want.”
Avila laughed. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“I’m serious.”
She took one look at him, and she could see that he was very serious. Could she really try her hand at performing again? How would that happen? “Hmm. I don’t know. We’ll have to see.”
“All right. Just wanted to throw that out there. Something for you to think about.” He smiled. “The other reason I stopped
by was because I was wondering if you wanted to go out to eat at a restaurant for Christmas or if you wanted me to cook at
home.”
She’d been so busy that she hadn’t given him an answer to his Christmas invite. Perhaps this was his way of reminding her.
“Where would we go out to eat?”
“Anywhere you’d like. Just do not pick a fast food spot,” he said, smiling.
The empty spot inside of her filled with something peaceful, with hope. For a quick second Avila wanted to say yes, but just
as quickly fear filled the spot and washed every other feeling away. Her nerves were on edge, screaming, screeching, telling
her to not go along with his idea. She wasn’t even sure where this terror came from, but she didn’t need to understand it.
Avila wanted him to take back the question, to bring things back to where they were.
“You really think spending Christmas together would be a good idea, Terence?”
He glanced away. When he refocused his attention on Avila, she crossed her arms. “I think it’s one of the best ideas I’ve
come up with.”
Her pulse skipped. She needed to throw him off. She needed to fake it. “I’ll have to think about it. I was just getting used
to hanging out again.”
Terence blinked several times. “So your answer is no?”
“My main focus is to work on my mother’s house and get it ready for sale. I am enjoying your company, and I love that you’re willing to help. Going to the park today was great too, but I don’t want to make a habit of socializing.” Even as she said the words, her heart stuttered. She told herself to keep talking, stand firm. Soon this nagging sense of fear would be gone.
Terence looked at her with a wounded glance, like she just punched him in the stomach.
“Can you tell me why at least? What’s holding you back?” His voice was steady and deep and sure.
Why’d he have to make this so hard? Avila glanced at the tree limbs scratching against the window of her living room, at the
paint chipping on the walls, at anything other than Terence’s face. Her mind didn’t have any type of rational response.
His hand lifted her chin until their eyes met. “I care for you.”
“No.” She paused. Her insides quaked.
Terence let go of her chin, but his attention appeared fastened on her. “What are you afraid of?”
“Nothing.”
Terence shook his head slowly. “You’re afraid of something. I can see it on your face, just like it was that day when we met
before you left for college.”
Avila looked away. How could she tell him her fear?
Terence stepped back, and the distance between them seemed wider and emptier.
“All right. I’m not going to push this.” He bit his bottom lip. “No matter if you give me a reason or not, I want you to be
happy. Find your happiness, whether that’s by spending Christmas with or without me or performing or working at an emergency
room. Find your happiness.” Terence turned and left.
Avila watched him walk away, and she wrapped her arms around herself in a futile effort to gain some semblance of warmth against the cold that chilled her bones.
When Terence returned home, he paced from the kitchen to the living room and then to the kitchen again. That was a stupid
thing that he just did. Why did he think he could just ask her out and she’d agree? She had her own plans, and she wasn’t
changing her mind today, even though they had a history together.
Terence glanced out the window at Ms. Mable’s yard and then focused on Avila’s home. He couldn’t believe he had just asked
Avila out on a date. He’d had feelings for her for a very long time.
He recalled the time when they were in high school and Avila had a crush on a guy named Aaron. Terence was in the friend zone,
so he had to endure all of her talk about the guy. Things got really complicated a week before the Christmas cotillion during
their sophomore year of high school.
“You’re very quiet tonight,” he had said. The two of them were sitting on the front porch of his house. They were both fifteen
years old.
She rested her chin in her hands, looking up at the clear night sky. “Have you ever kissed anyone?”
Terence understood why she had raised the question, and then his muscles tensed in his neck. “Definitely.” He’d kissed Piper
Jones in the third grade. Natasha Hunter kissed him one morning on the school bus, and then he had kissed Sherri Roderick
in eighth grade during the middle school dance.
“You’re not thinking about Piper, Natasha, and Sherri, are you?”
Terence chuckled. “Actually, I was thinking about them.”
“I meant a real kiss. Have you ever had a real kiss?”
Now he was tapping his fingers on the bench, suddenly feeling like a little kid. He had plenty of opportunities to have real
kisses, but those people didn’t seem worthy of a kiss. “Not yet.” He glanced up at the night sky.
“Aaron tried to kiss me today.”
Terence looked at her at that moment, and the moonlight showed on the soft curves of her face. “What do you mean by ‘tried’?”
Avila shrugged. “I turned away. I didn’t realize he was about to kiss me. I wasn’t ready for all of that.”
Now that was the best news he’d heard all week. Terence had to stop himself from smiling, but then he felt guilty about it.
Aaron was his friend. He shouldn’t be happy about this. “Why weren’t you ready?”
Avila shrugged again. “I don’t know.”
“You must know something, or you wouldn’t have turned away.”
Avila sighed. “I was afraid.”
Terence looked at her. If Aaron had done something to hurt her, he was going to have to answer to Terence for it. “Afraid
of what?”
She quickly shifted her posture, and then she faced him. “What if I did it wrong?”
“Did what wrong?”
“Kissed. What if I’m bad at it?” A slight frown formed on her mouth. She was so vulnerable.
“You’re not going to be bad at kissing, Avila.”
“How would you know? I’ve never kissed anyone in my life, not even in elementary school. What if I did it wrong and Aaron laughed at me?”
“Aaron would not laugh at you. I know that for a fact.” Are you actually trying to convince her to kiss Aaron?
“But what if we kiss and then he stops liking me? I don’t want to make an idiot of myself.”
He was about to tease her, but he restrained himself. Avila was looking at him with those innocent eyes, and he forgot what
he was about to say. Avila was pretty self-confident, but now she seemed really insecure. A part of him wanted to protect
her.
“Can you do me a favor?” Avila glanced at him, her hands clasped together. “I wouldn’t ask if I really didn’t want to, but...”
“You know I’d do anything for you.” For a split second, the realization of what he just said settled on him, and he knew it
was true. He would do anything for her.
Avila gave a nervous laugh. “This will be a weird request.” She didn’t flinch.
“Just say it.” Maybe she wanted him to talk to Aaron. Tell him she was sorry or something. Yeah, he could do something like
that.
“Can you kiss me for practice?”
“Huh?”
She gave a nervous laugh. “I know this is an awkward request, but I just figured...” Avila licked her lips, and then she
looked away.
He caught a whiff of her cocoa butter lotion, and it was warm and comforting. “I’m not a kissing expert, you know.”
“Yeah, but you have more experience than I do.” She focused on him. “I wouldn’t say anything about it, except I’m really worried.”
She did look very worried. Her left foot was jittery and she seemed tense. Avila took a deep sigh and rubbed her shoulders.
Terence’s heart pitter-pattered. He could do this. It was just a kiss between friends. No big deal. He shrugged. “All right.
Let’s practice. I’m all yours.” His words sounded certain, even though inside he was jittery too.
“Great.” She wet her lips again. “All right. Just, you know, lean over or something. Pretend you’re Aaron, and you’re kissing
me good-night.”
This was actually happening. “Okay.” He looked at her lips, which were waiting for his. Avila closed her eyes, and he leaned
forward.
“Hold up.” She pulled back, and her eyes widened.
Terence’s heart almost dropped to the soles of his feet.
“Let’s stand up. I don’t even know what to do with my hands right now.”
They stood, and he wondered if he was way too crazy for doing this.
“What should I do with my hands?” she asked.
“You would just put them on his shoulders or on his waist. If the kiss is long that’s what you’d want to do.”
“How will I know if the kiss is going to be long?”
“You’ll sense it.”
“All right. Let’s do this.”
His mouth went dry. “Don’t say that to him.”
“I’m not going to say that to him. I was just saying it to you.” Her face looked playful now, and her arms hung casually at
her sides.
Before Terence lost his nerve, he took a tiny step toward her and leaned in until her breath tickled his face. His lips closed on hers, touching gently.
Avila gave a timid response and cupped his jaw with her fingers. Her lips danced with his, slowly, softly.
Her hand settled at his waist, just above his belt. Terence deepened the kiss. His other hand found her waist, and he pulled
her closer until he could feel the heat of her body through his T-shirt.
She was soft and supple. Terence feared she could feel his heart pounding through his shirt. He pulled back, ending the kiss.
Avila’s eyes opened, and her mouth, still moist from his lips, curved slowly. “Was that good?”
It was amazingly wonderfully stupendously good. The best. “Not bad at all.” He cleared his throat.
“Not bad?” Avila shook her head. “I was amazing, and you know it.” She smiled brightly.
“You were all right.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “I was more than all right, and Aaron’s going to want more.”
That was probably true. “I liked you better when you were unsure of yourself,” he said, a teasing note in his voice.
“Whatever. You probably like me even more now, after my amazing kiss.” Her smile was cute. “Don’t start liking me for real,
for real.” She gently shoved his shoulder.
Too late. “You wish.”
Avila laughed. She stepped back as the breeze tousled her hair. “It’s late. I’m going to go home now.”
Terence shoved his hands in his pockets. “Cool. See you.”
Avila faced him again. “Hey, Terence?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.” She smiled and then walked toward her home.
No problem. Except his insides were trembling.
The memory of that kiss was still on his lips years later. It was the first time he’d admitted to himself that his feelings
for Avila had completely changed. Somehow he had managed to keep it a secret from her until right before they left for college.
He glanced out the window of his house and realized again that she wouldn’t be here for long. The two of them held his heart
in his hands.
Perhaps she would change her mind about dating, but for now, Avila’s time in Charleston was very short. Once she returned
to New Jersey, his chance would be gone. The idea of life without the two of them was something that he didn’t want to entertain.