Chapter Thirteen
The next night, Avila and Ebony ate supper alone. Terence had left after helping paint the living room and the wicker furniture
in the backyard while Avila sorted through drawers and closets.
“Why can’t Terence have dinner with us again?” Ebony asked.
Avila spooned a heap of baked macaroni and cheese onto her plate. “We have work to do over here. Like I said, I don’t mind
if you get that role in the play, but I’m going to have to be really stringent with my time now.”
“He said that he has all the cable channels.”
“We can rent a movie.”
“It’s no fun without him.” Ebony bit into her fry and then squirted more ketchup on it.
“Ebony, you know I have a lot of work to do. It’s not easy being a single parent.” She hated justifying herself to her daughter.
How could Ebony understand all of her responsibilities?
“You should get married. Then I’d have a dad, and you wouldn’t be gone all the time.”
Avila laughed. “It’s not that simple.”
“Bridget’s mom just got remarried, and now she has a new brother.”
Avila stabbed a piece of macaroni and aimed her fork at her daughter. Why did Ebony think she had all the answers at the ripe old age of twelve? “Hey. It’s not like I’m not trying.”
Ebony rolled her eyes. “Yeah right.”
She had dated a guy named Carl before. There was nothing wrong with him. Other than that he called her constantly and showed
up at their door every day, invited or not. It occurred to Avila that Terence did the same thing, yet it didn’t leave her
feeling smothered.
“You need to get serious with someone,” Ebony said.
“I’ll get serious when I’m ready. Right now, I have too much going on.”
Silence buzzed in the room, and then it swelled. Avila put her hair in a bun and kept her mouth shut. This was not the conversation
that she wanted to have with her daughter. The dates she had in the past were fleeting. In many ways, she was glad that she
had never had a long-term relationship since Ebony’s biological father. Life was too busy, and a boyfriend would only be a
distraction.
“Why can’t you date someone nice like Terence?” Ebony asked.
Avila wasn’t sure why it surprised her that Ebony had said that. But the thought of having to acknowledge her feelings about
Terence to Ebony threw her off. “He’s just a friend. Besides, I’ll find my own dates, thank you.”
They finished eating. Then Avila sent Ebony to take a bath and decided to tackle a few of the remaining boxes in the attic.
The sooner they were finished, the sooner they could leave this place. Yet, after going to that audition, the idea of leaving
Charleston made Avila uncomfortable.
She was surrounded by a pile of junk when Ebony came in from her bath, smelling like a fresh, clean baby. Her daughter settled on the floor somewhere behind Avila. She wondered how long their silence would last.
The box in front of Avila held items fit for a secondhand store. She shoved it to the door, then opened a bag of Christmas
lights and decorations. They smelled musty. When was the last time anyone had put up a tree in this house?
“Mom, look!”
She hadn’t heard so much excitement in Ebony’s voice in months. Ebony was looking at a picture. Avila scooted beside her to
see.
Avila’s mouth went dry. It was a photo taken right before her First Communion.
“That’s your dad, isn’t it?” Ebony asked.
When Ebony was in first grade, Avila had given her a picture of her grandfather. She had given it to her when Ebony started
asking questions about her biological father. Avila hadn’t known what to say, and thought the picture of Ebony’s grandfather
would temporarily satisfy her curiosity. Ebony kept the photo in a silver frame on her nightstand.
Ebony’s lips curved into a wide smile. She looked back at the photo, taken in the front yard. Avila stood next to her dad;
his arms were curled around her.
“Mom, I know what your dad looks like. Why haven’t you ever shown me what my dad looks like? Why haven’t you ever told me who he was?”
Avila’s mouth worked. She was not prepared for this. In the photo, Avila’s father wore his bright, charismatic grin as easily as he wore his business suit. He stood as tall as Avila in the flats she insisted on wearing.
“Mom?” Ebony’s brows were pinched. “Did my father grow up here with you? Did he live around here? Do I have living grandparents
here?”
Ebony’s questions came too fast, a tidal wave of speed and intensity, and Avila wondered if there was any way of stopping
it now. Maybe she couldn’t stop what was happening, but she could put it off.
“He’s not from here. I never met his parents, your grandparents. He’s from Pennsylvania. We met in college.”
“What is his name?”
“Michael Erikson.”
Her face fell. “We don’t have the same last name.”
“No,” she said quickly. “He... it’s best for you to have my last name, given the situation.”
Michael had told her that he didn’t want to have anything to do with Ebony. So she made sure that she didn’t carry his last
name.
“Can I meet him?”
“I don’t think I can make that happen, honey.”
Her face fell. “That’s not fair.”
Avila’s gaze snapped to Ebony’s dark, liquid eyes. She tried to address the emotions that she sensed were bubbling inside
her daughter, but her expression was too murky to figure out. This was the challenge that she had with Ebony. There always
seemed like a big gap was between them, a chasm that she could never cross. “I know. This is hard,” Avila responded. She cringed
inside and wished she wouldn’t be faced with this dilemma.
Tears flooded Ebony’s eyes and spilled over. “I deserve to meet my dad! Why won’t you let me meet him? You’re just being mean!”
How would she tell her the truth without crushing her spirit? “Honey, it has to be a two-way street. I tried to reach out
to him after you were born. I really did, but he never responded...” She stopped, not wanting to hurt her feelings.
“Why not? He doesn’t love me?”
Avila clasped her hands, and the longing to erase the pain in Ebony’s heart increased more and more. The way the light shone
on Ebony’s face made her look so young and innocent. She saw vulnerability shaded with discomfort, anxiety, heaviness. Ebony
carried a lot of burdens inside, but she never talked about them. “I love you. That’s all that matters.”
“It’s not the same as having a father to love me. You don’t know what it’s like to live your whole entire life never knowing
who your father is. I can tell you that for a fact.”
Those words landed like a thud. Avila knew what Ebony was talking about, because she had lived it herself. This was even tougher.
“You’re right. I won’t ever know that feeling.”
Just then she reminded Avila of herself at her age, with her long braids flowing around her face. “Well... Michael Erikson
is missing out on the best thing that ever happened to him... me,” Ebony said.
Avila saw the sincerity in Ebony’s expression. “He sure is. And don’t you ever forget that.”
“It still hurts though.” Worry glimmered in her eyes, worry and uncertainty.
“We’ve made a decent life for ourselves so far without him. You’re talented and smart and amazing. You might even get the part in The Piano Lesson , and then we’ll get to stay here for a few more weeks if you do. If that happens, then I know you’ll give an amazing performance,
something else that Michael Erikson will miss out on.”
Ebony nodded, tears glimmering in her eyes. “Was my dad a bad person?” She looked at the photo.
“I think he’s bad for not being in your life.” For choosing to not be in your life .
“Were you in love with him?”
Hope had brightened Ebony’s face, and Avila didn’t want to squelch it. “At one point, I loved Michael very much.” Avila made
sure to use the past tense.
“Do you love him now?”
Her childish delight brought a smile to Avila’s lips. “No.”
“Are Michael’s parents alive?”
Avila shrugged. “I have no idea.”
Ebony’s eyes lit up. “Do you think they’d want to meet me?”
“I’m not sure about that. But they should.”
Ebony side-eyed her mother. “Why don’t they know about me?”
Michael was on the fast track to be a big-deal lawyer after graduating from Princeton. He didn’t have time to be a young father.
“I never met Michael’s parents. I’m pretty sure he didn’t mention me or you to them either.”
Ebony glared and shoved the box away. “That’s not fair.”
She was right. So much surrounding her life hadn’t been fair. Avila wanted to kick herself for not being more persistent about
reaching out to Michael’s parents.
Ebony rose to her feet. “I have another set of grandparents, and they don’t know about me!”
“You know what, honey? They deserve to know about you. But it’s their loss, not yours, my love.”
Ebony blinked hard, but a tear escaped. She hugged her mother tightly. Avila closed her eyes and embraced her in return. Avila
would heal the hurt in her daughter’s heart. No matter what.