Chapter Sixteen
Avila stepped away from Terence and straightened the front of her shirt.
Terence shut the door. “I’ll fix something to eat; you must be starving.”
She walked to the phone instead. “I have to call Samantha. Ebony will be worried.”
“What’s the number?”
Avila wanted to do everything herself, but she was too tired to argue. She was weary, so weary of doing it all alone. “By
the phone, on a scrap of blue paper.”
Minutes later, she was in her old bedroom, changing her clothes. The memories were still alive, just hidden and waiting for
the perfect time to resurface. Would she be able to push those memories back?
She quickly put on a sweater and smoothed out the frizzies in her hair.
“You look refreshed,” Terence said when she entered the living room. He set a glass of water and a plate with a ham sandwich
and chips before her.
“I could’ve been working on the house. Instead, I wasted a whole day worrying. There’s so much work to still be done.”
“I wouldn’t be too concerned about it. It will all get done in due time.”
She just wanted to rest, and eat, and forget. “Maybe.”
Avila sat across from Terence in the recliner and picked up the water, drinking half the glass in one gulp. Next, she started
on the sandwich. “Thanks for this.”
Terence watched her eat, silence filling the room. She knew she should feel awkward after making herself so vulnerable, but
she didn’t. Outside, the sound of the rain pounding the roof was interrupted only by the rumble of thunder.
“Ebony is on her way home,” he said. “Samantha was concerned when she couldn’t reach you. I told her what happened, and she
told Ebony.”
“Thanks,” Avila said again. Time had passed slowly without any way she could keep track of it, and she was surprised it was
still daylight when Terence came. She remembered the feel of his arms around her and relaxed a little. She had never been
so glad to see anyone. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t come.”
The corners of his lips turned up a fraction of an inch. “I’m just sorry I didn’t arrive sooner.”
“I was in a hurry. I went out to get the paint pan and roller, and I kicked the rock out of place. The wind blew the door
shut.” Avila could feel the panic of the moment, and her heart stuttered.
“You never told me what you did after you saw that your dad wasn’t returning, no matter how much you prayed,” Terence said.
His eyes fastened on hers.
Lamplight from the end table illuminated one side of his face. His jaw tightened, and a shadow tumbled across his cheek.
Avila pursed her lips, unsure if she should respond.
“There is nothing you could’ve done,” he said.
“Yes, there was. I tried it, and it didn’t work. That’s how I learned to depend on myself.” Truth was, she had been ashamed.
After a while, Avila believed that she deserved to lose her father.
“You can’t live that way, though.” Terence’s lips tightened, but his eyes... his eyes were like a gentle touch.
She knew what he was thinking. “It’s been working so far.”
“Up to a point.”
Avila picked up her sandwich and held it, her mouth dry. “Perhaps. I still miss my dad. And I’ll never know the reasons why
he decided to leave us that day.” She had longed to know the answers, but they eluded her.
“I’m so sorry those things happened to you, Avila. If I could’ve shielded you from them, I would have, with everything that
I have within me.”
She glanced at him, and his eyes glimmered. Was he crying for her?
Something seeped into her. A kind of comfort she didn’t remember feeling before. It seeped into the deep place where she hurt,
but it would take a whole lot to fill the void. There wasn’t enough comfort in the world to fill her up.
Terence leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “I wish you would’ve told me about how you used to pray for your dad to return.”
He was like a brother back then—the big brother she never had. Even now, he had the urge to protect her.
The front door flew open, startling Avila. Ebony entered, ducking in out of the rain. She turned and lifted her hand, then shut the door. The sound of Samantha’s car engine had been lost in the storm.
“Hi,” Avila said. “Did you have fun?”
Ebony whirled around. Her eyes were red. “I was worried when Ms. Samantha couldn’t reach you. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Just locked myself out of the house.”
Ebony blinked rapidly. “I wanted to come home a long time ago.”
Avila set the sandwich down. “I’m so sorry.”
“Ms. Samantha tried to call, but you weren’t there,” Ebony said, her tone holding a touch of worry. “I had to stay there for
the whole afternoon.”
Avila heard it in her voice. That sense of being abandoned. It sank deep and laid roots, weeds that refused to leave.
Avila needed to keep her promise to Ebony and try to locate her paternal grandparents, but she didn’t know where to begin.
When Avila was a kid, her mother had stopped taking annual Christmas pictures after her father had left them. And her mother
was forever reminding Avila of her father’s failures: how he’d forget small things like getting milk at the grocery store,
or filling up the car’s gas tank for the week, or changing the light bulb in her bedside lamp. She would then stress the importance
of women having to do for themselves, because men couldn’t be counted on for anything.
Avila didn’t want Ebony to lose trust.