Chapter Nineteen
After they arrived at Avila’s house, Terence scrolled the news headlines on his cell phone. Why did Avila run away from him
like he was the big bad wolf? He wanted to ask her about it, but he didn’t want to start a disagreement. Instead, he sat in
the living room, scrolling on his phone and watching the porch light flicker outside.
“You can go home now,” Avila said.
“Do you want me to go home?”
She was silent.
“You don’t want me to leave, but then you run away when we’re in the middle of kissing one another. I’m confused.”
“Me too,” Avila said.
His mind returned to the kiss for the hundredth time. Why had he moved so fast? He should not have told Avila he loved her.
Should’ve known it would scare her away.
Terence stood and paced the small living room. He’d take it all back if he could just have Avila feel comfortable around him again. He longed for the day when she could easily tell him that everything was all right. Her well-being was more complicated now. Instead of her father’s abandonment bothering her, she had to deal with raising a child in another state, alone. The steel cage she built to protect her heart kept him from reaching her, and that, along with finding her father’s letter, had stirred things up again. He shouldn’t have said anything. He should’ve tossed it like she asked.
Tonight, she let him hold her, let him comfort her. He’d do it for the rest of his life if only she’d allow it. Why couldn’t
she see that he wanted the best for her, that he would do anything for her, and he would never forsake her?
Instead, she ran, she pushed, she fought. It was enough to make him worry.
His one solace came from the memory of the kiss. Yes, he kissed her, but she returned the kiss. Avila kissed him with so much
fervor that his knees had shaken. He remembered the feel of her soft lips responding to him and wanted to capture the feeling
and lock it away in his heart.
The way she looked at him, the way she touched him, told him more than words ever would.
Maybe that’s what frightened her off. Maybe it wasn’t his confession of love, but the realization that she loved him too.
He breathed a laugh. A man could hope, couldn’t he?
He glanced at his watch and saw it was 11:30. It was getting late, but he didn’t want to leave.
The phone buzzed, and he looked at the number on the screen. It was Ms. Mable. Odd. She usually went to bed early.
“Hello?”
“Hello, son.” The sound of Ms. Mable’s voice caused him some concern. “Everything all right?”
Terence let out a breath.
“Listen, I saw you and Avila pulling up to the driveway. It reminded me of when the two of you were in high school together, and you used to do the same thing.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Anyway, if the two of you have a moment, I would love for you to stop by here real quick. I want to give you something.”
Terence glanced over at Avila. “Hold on a sec.”
“What is it?” Avila asked.
He relayed Ms. Mable’s message to Avila.
“What does she want to show us?”
“She said it was a surprise.”
“Hmm.” Avila glanced at the clock on the wall. “I guess we can go over there.”
“We’ll be there in a second, Ms. Mable.”
“All right, honey. Take your time. My porch light will be on.”
Ebony was spending the night at Samantha’s house, and so Avila didn’t have to worry about leaving her in the house by herself.
Avila and Terence headed over to Ms. Mable’s house next door. She opened the door for them before they even had a chance to
knock.
“Hello, there, young people. Come on inside.”
They did, and the two of them took a seat on her couch in the living room, removing their shoes and putting on the house slippers she had given them. Her home was always a welcome place to visit. It was cozy and comfortable. They sat in the living room, and Avila took note of the cabinet with the glass door, which held the collection of figurines Ms. Mable had gathered over a lifetime. When Avila was younger, she used to visit Ms. Mable and stare at those figurines for hours and hours. She never touched them for fear of breaking them, but they were nice to look at.
“I know it’s late, but you two...” She smiled; her eyes sparkled with joyfulness. “Seeing the two of you together just
makes me very happy. I wanted to tell you that I had gotten some paperwork from your mother before she passed, Avila. I wanted
to share this paperwork with you. Maybe it will help answer some of your questions.” She headed over to her kitchen table,
where there was a file folder stuffed with papers. “I had forgotten that your mother had given this to me until I was cleaning
out my files the other day.”
Interesting. “What is it?”
“After you left for New Jersey, your mother was very concerned about you, my dear. But her pride kept her from trying to visit
you. She didn’t want to seem like she was intruding.”
Avila’s shoulders stiffened. That didn’t make any sense at all. “She mentioned that she wanted to visit me?”
“She would mention it from time to time.” She reached over to the file folder. “You remember those times when you’d say that
you didn’t know if you could cover Ebony’s tuition?”
“Yes.”
“I’d tell it to your mother, and then she’d tell me that she was sending a payment to Ebony’s school. She mentioned that the
gift would be anonymous. Your mother was the one who helped cover the tuition at St. Martin de Porres, and she continued to
help whenever needed.”
“What?”
“Yes, ma’am. I have all of the receipts right here.” She handed her the folder, which was filled with receipts and invoices
for tuition payments, school fees, uniforms, and school supplies.
“This doesn’t make any sense to me. My mother would have told me. She always told me that she was watching her budget carefully after having to deal with my father’s gambling habit.”
“Part of the reason why he left was because your mother refused to feed his gambling habit anymore. They were about to foreclose
on the house, and she told him that he would have to get it together or leave. He chose to leave.”
Avila shook her head. That didn’t make any sense either. “My father wouldn’t do that.”
“You don’t understand addiction then, honey. It’s a hard thing to break. So when your mother wanted you to pray for your father,
to pray for his return, she meant it.” Her voice was filled with certainty, and Avila knew that she was telling the truth.
She let this news settle inside her heart. Everything between Avila and her mother had been tense at times after her father
left, but now she could see a little more clearly what her mother was fighting for. She was fighting to salvage her family.
The notion bubbled to the surface and carried with it the hurt that had been buried deep, deep, deep in her mind.
Bone-deep sorrow latched onto the seams of her soul and took hold. Sorrow for her mother. Sorrow for herself.
Avila sat in this feeling, allowed it to fill every empty space within, until her sorrow touched something deeper—the marrow—and
cut through the thoughts and intentions of her heart. There, she found forgiveness. A tiny scrap of forgiveness but forgiveness
nonetheless.
“Your mother had saved up enough for Ebony to continue through with a private school until the age of seventeen. She also started a college fund for her. All of that paperwork is in there for you to read and to have. It’s yours now.”
Avila’s heart sank. This was unreal. “Why didn’t she tell me?”
“Pride, my dear. Pride. You or Ebony would never leave her heart. She took care of you the best she could, despite the fact
that you didn’t visit.”
Avila looked over at Terence.
“I tried to limit my conversations with her. I didn’t want to deal with her inevitable questions about Ebony’s father. That
would be too much.”
Terence twisted his mouth. “Interesting. You may have felt that way, Avila. But if your mother was taking care of you and
Ebony, then she cared.”
Avila’s shoulders sank. He was right.
“I wanted to show this to you so that you know,” Ms. Mable said. “There were reasons why your mother did what she did, and
it wasn’t out of spite. She loved you in her own way.”
She did. She really did, Avila realized.
“It’s late. And as you know, it’s way past my bedtime, but I just wanted to tell you. I was hoping and praying for the right
time to tell you, and—I don’t know—my gut told me this was the right time.”
“Thank you, Ms. Mable.”
“Anytime, my dear.”
“I’ll walk you home,” Terence said.
Moments later, they were standing on the front porch of Avila’s home.
“That was a lot of new information,” Terence said to her.
“I know. I can’t believe my mother...”
“She loved you.”
Avila’s eyes shone with tears. “She did. She really did.”
Terence grasped her hand. It was warm in hers, and her pulse quickened. But this was not the time. Avila forced herself not
to give in to the feeling.
“Avila, I don’t know what you’re going to choose as far as where you’ll live in the future, but know that you have a home
here. You have a home with me, and I love you and Ebony.”
Avila nodded. “I know.” She buried her face in the curve of his neck. His warm breath heated her skin, and the smell of his
shampoo filled her senses. She wanted to hold him in her arms forever. Avila didn’t understand. If being with him was so scary,
why was she embracing him now? If she lived to be one hundred, she would never understand herself completely.
After a few moments, she stepped away and opened the front door to her house. She strolled through the darkened interior,
flipped on the lamp, and soft light flooded the room. She stood in the doorway, with the threshold between them.
Hold it together , she told herself.
He didn’t move. She didn’t move either.
Terence reached over and caressed her jawline. She returned the gesture, touching his warm cheeks with the backs of her fingers,
sliding them downward. His skin was smooth yet tough, and he had the fragrance of cologne and body heat. Avila inhaled, and
they kissed. His lips were comforting and gentle. She returned the kiss, and all her stress, all of her worrying thoughts
and questions, melted away in that moment. If she were honest with herself, she could stay that way forever. After a few moments,
they both stepped away.
“Good night,” he said.
She paused, taking in his words. “Good night.”
After closing the door behind her, Avila lay on the couch in the living room, tucking her legs under the quilt and pulling
the quilt up to her chin. Her pulse was pounding, and her feelings for Terence couldn’t be denied. She loved him.