Chapter Twenty-Six
Terence stared into Avila’s eyes, pressure building in his chest. Avila was serious.
Even though he loved her, she was leaving. Her decision killed him. He needed to make a decision, and quick. He was tired
of having to live in response to the decisions that Avila had made. Terence’s eyes stung. He loved Avila, but he couldn’t
make her love him back. Terence never should have let his heart be open to Avila. He should’ve known, given her past, that
she was capable of breaking him down. And now she succeeded at it.
He had told her he loved before he left for Hampton University. It took him all summer to work up the courage to say the words
he never had said to any woman. Didn’t she care about his feelings? Didn’t she care about the role that he would’ve liked
to have played in her life? Obviously not.
“Why would you throw this away?” The faraway look in her eyes worried him, but the ache in his heart fogged his thinking.
“I’m not throwing away anything,” she said. “You live down here. You have a job here.”
“I can always find work somewhere else. There are lots of colleges in the United States.”
“You’re making a rash decision.”
“My priority is you and Ebony.” He gave her a pointed look. “I’m choosing the two of you first.”
“What are you saying? That my priorities are wrong?”
“Not at all.” Terence focused on Avila. He glanced at the curve in her neck, the place that he had kissed. That time seemed
like an eternity ago now, given her latest decision.
“Well, if that’s what you think is best, then you’re free to do what you want,” she said.
“I know,” he said without flinching.
Avila’s brown eyes filled with tears, and her mouth worked silently before she spoke. “There are some condos and apartments
for rent in New Brunswick, near Rutgers, if that’s where you want to work.”
He really wanted to go all in on their relationship this time. He couldn’t care less about the work. Another side of him realized
that she would be leaving in a few weeks, and this would be one of the few times left when they would be this close to one
another. He didn’t know what to do about that either. He wanted to stand there next to her forever, but she had already made
up her mind about their relationship.
Avila looked at him, her face full of sadness. “Let me know when and if you move to New Brunswick. Ebony will be happy about
that,” she said, as if she couldn’t quite believe it.
“I will.”
The overhead lights cast a glow over them. At least he was going to be with them in some form or fashion. It wasn’t the perfect
ending to his journey with Avila, but it was definitely one that he could live with.
Avila’s voice cut through his thoughts. “I’m sorry that this is all that I can do with us.”
Terence didn’t know what to say to that. The weight of her decision had settled like an anchor inside of him. She didn’t want to take a chance and stay here. She didn’t want to see what their relationship could be. He shook with that knowledge, and his throat constricted. Terence sighed. His love for her conflicted with disappointment and hurt. He couldn’t string any coherent thoughts together.
Avila spoke, her quiet voice tender. “Thanks for understanding.”
She hid her heart from everyone, but he could see her . It had only been a few minutes ago when he was so sure of himself. Now his feelings were as unstable as the wind.
Avila guarded herself from Terence’s pain. After saying what she had just said, this was the beginning of the end of his love
for her. He was seeing her weaknesses. He was seeing her fears. All of it was too much to deal with right now. “It’s getting
late.” The steadiness of her tone belied the quaking inside her.
He took another step away. His gaze was fixed on her. She felt his withdrawal, and her soul cried out, contradicting her words. Deep within, she wanted him to love her anyway.
He stilled, not reaching for the door. His eyes stabbed her, and she knew this moment would haunt her forever. Guilt washed
over her. How could she do this to him? “This is the best for both of us,” she said. “It really is.”
“That’s not true.”
“Please. It’s better this way,” she said firmly. She was doing what was best for both of them. Someday the pain would go away.
Wouldn’t it?
His jaw tightened. “You know what? You’re probably right. We do need some space from each other.”
Hearing his response took her aback for a split second, but then she settled into his words. “Thank you.”
“Not a problem.”
She saw the regret and compassion mingle on his face, but she turned and opened the front door before she lost her courage.
He stepped through it and said goodbye.
Avila hobbled over the threshold, closed the door, and leaned against it. Her good leg was as unstable as a rickety table.
Her hands trembled. She slid down the door, letting her legs fold, ignoring the pain in her ankle. It was no match for the
pain in her heart.
With her head against the door, she heard the slap of the screen door. She heard the heaviness of Terence’s feet on the steps.
She had made her decision, and now it had pushed him away.
He wouldn’t be back. She had what she wanted.
But in the quietness of the room, she couldn’t help but wonder why she felt empty.