Chapter Twenty-Two
TWENTY-TWO
Can I suck your penis, too?
Ben couldn’t stop replaying the conversation from that morning. Between finding Eleonore on the ceiling, tasting the coffee equivalent of battery acid, and receiving such an abrupt and explicit offer, it was like he’d hopped straight from bed onto a roller coaster.
He was now sitting at the Emporium’s front desk, supposedly balancing the books, and though he’d been staring at the same account ledger for twenty minutes, he couldn’t have described it if someone had held a sword to his throat and threatened imminent decapitation.
He fingered the remnants of Eleonore’s bite. The two tiny wounds had already healed over, which research had taught him was normal for vampire bites. Whether it was something in their saliva or an aspect of whatever magic animated them, vampires had developed quite the evolutionary advantage. Their prey not only loved the bite but recovered quickly—the better to drink from again.
He couldn’t wait for her to drink from him again.
Did he want Eleonore to give him a blow job, too? Obviously yes, very much. Way, way too much, as evidenced by the fact he’d had to duck into the bathroom for a furtive masturbation session not even an hour into his shift. But he was out of practice and she was mystically bound to obey his every command, and that seemed like a recipe for disaster.
Ben also had to admit he was worried about disappointing her. She was a succubus and had probably had more partners than he could imagine. He didn’t care who or how many she’d been with—that sort of insecurity was patriarchal bullshit that treated female pleasure as something to be ashamed of—but she probably had high expectations for a partner’s performance. Ben had been with six women over the years, and though he fancied he’d left them all satisfied, how could that possibly compare to a sort-of-immortal’s experiences receiving cunnilingus?
But to have her mouth on him and his between her legs in return…
“Any reason you’re staring at the Peter peppers like you want to take them out to dinner and then back to your place for a quote-unquote ‘nightcap’?”
Mariel’s question jolted him back into the present. He had zoned out while staring in the direction of a plant on display next to the desk, one that was currently fruiting bright red peppers. And not just any red peppers, he realized with dismay—no, they had to be Peter peppers, which had the misfortune of resembling penises in shape.
Great. Blame Mariel and Rani for that display choice. He’d suggested highlighting some of their edible peppers earlier that morning, so of course they’d found the most phallic ones possible.
“Just thinking,” he said, cheeks heating.
Mariel gave him a skeptical look from where she was watering a tray of African violets on the other side of the desk. “I would ask what about, but we don’t have an HR department to help me process the inevitable trauma.”
“Or an HR department to question your pepper choices,” he shot back.
Mariel grinned. She’d returned from her honeymoon a week ago, the day after Eleonore’s first performance. Her freckled skin was lightly tanned and she radiated happiness. Oz had the same glow whenever he came into the Emporium for a quick kiss from Mariel—which was often. Newlywed bliss agreed with both of them.
Mariel and Oz hadn’t always been so cozy, though. “How did you know getting together with Oz was the right thing to do?” he asked, shoving the ledger aside. There would be no focusing on numbers until he’d decided what to do about the blow job situation.
“What do you mean?” Mariel asked.
Ben’s fingers drummed an uneasy tempo against the desk. “It had to be awkward, since you’d summoned him and he couldn’t leave without taking your soul.” A conundrum that had been resolved through some clever spellcraft on both parts, though they’d already been an item by that point. “So how did you know it was…okay?”
“Ah.” Mariel set down the watering can and gave him a knowing look. “This is about your succubus.”
The group text remained, as ever, far too active when it came to speculating about his personal affairs. “Vampire succubus,” he corrected. “And she isn’t mine.”
According to eBay she was, though, which was the root of the problem.
Mariel shrugged. “With Oz…I guess I was horny.”
Ben nearly choked on his laugh. “You’re very lucky we don’t have an HR department.” He didn’t mean it, of course. Mariel and Rani were his friends. Maybe that wasn’t a wise way to run a business, but Ben wasn’t some corporate dictator. He couldn’t imagine putting distance between himself and the people he spent most of his time with, especially when they were so delightful. He leaned in, clasping his fingers together on the desk as his feet took up the drumming motion. “But really. Were there any questions about…consent?”
Mariel’s expression turned thoughtful. “Yes, a bit. I’d summoned Oz by mistake, but the result was the same regardless of my intention. He was stuck with me until I gave up my soul.”
Very similar to the eBay issue. “And?”
“Look, I knew hooking up with him was probably a bad idea when I did it.” She squinted. “Maybe. To reiterate, I was very horny. But the point is, even if he didn’t consent to being summoned, he could still consent to a relationship—and sex, if that’s what you’re asking about.”
Ben buried his face in his hands. Yes, that was what he was asking about. No, he didn’t want to say it out loud.
“Is she trying to escalate things or are you?” Mariel asked.
He shook his head, still hiding his face.
“Her, then. Not that I’m surprised.”
At that, Ben dared a peek at her between his fingers.
“You’re very…” Mariel paused, clearly thinking through how to say whatever came next. “Gentlemanly, of course, but you don’t put yourself out there dating-wise. So it makes sense she made the first move.”
“I work a lot,” he said, feeling like he needed to justify his lack of romantic entanglements over the years.
“I know,” Mariel said, making soothing gestures that would have rankled if he hadn’t been so desperate for advice. “And it wasn’t a judgment. I’m just saying that as far as I’ve seen, you put your business and your family and friends first, even above your own personal happiness.”
He didn’t quite know what to say to that. “Uh…”
“How many family knitting projects do you have going on right now?” she asked bluntly.
He winced. “I’m running so behind. Things have been hectic—”
“Exactly.” She pointed at him. “You’re probably castigating yourself because you haven’t finished eight thousand hats and a million scarves in time for the holidays when you’ve also been working yourself to the bone on the Annex.”
More like two scarves, one hat, and a baby blanket, but he supposed he could see her point. “I love my family. And I’m not great with words, so this is how I show them.”
“I’d argue you are great with words,” she said. “You just say them more quietly than anyone else in your family.”
His family was very loud, that was true. “The issue right now isn’t my knitting or how I communicate with my family. What do I do about Eleonore?”
Mariel crossed her arms, leveling him with a serious look that, funnily enough, channeled Oz. “Do you want to hook up with her?”
“I mean…” He gestured aimlessly.
“Use your words, Benjamin.”
He grimaced. “Yes, obviously. She’s—she’s amazing.” He remembered her clinging to the ceiling, babbling about breaking Cynthia Cunnington’s arms, and smiled. “I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s brave and exciting and really, really strange, and every day I wonder what new, odd thing she’ll be up to.”
“Ah.” Mariel grabbed a stool and dragged it over, plopping herself down opposite him. “So it’s not just a physical attraction.”
“No, but obviously that’s part of it. I mean, you’ve seen her.”
She nodded. “Holy Jessica Rabbit. Total bombshell.”
Ben rubbed the back of his neck, wondering if he should share this next detail with Mariel. He wasn’t used to talking about his feelings with anyone except the occasional therapist. But in for a penny, right? “She bit me last night,” he confessed. “Consensually, obviously.”
Mariel made a squealing sound. “How was it? I hear vampire bites are freaky hot.”
He swallowed, determined not to think about how “freaky hot” it had been while at his place of work. “It was good. Yes. Very…good. But that’s what started this whole thing. Now she wants to take it further.”
“And you clearly like her, so what’s the issue? Bang it out, babes!” Mariel held up a hand for a high five he was absolutely not going to give.
“She’s mystically compelled to do anything I order her to,” he said. “It’s not an equal power dynamic.”
“Ah.” Mariel dropped the hand back to the desk, looking thoughtful. “Would you order her around in the bedroom, though?”
“No!” he said, horrified by the thought. She could order him around all she liked, though.
“Then so long as you don’t ever break that promise, what’s the harm? And you’re trying to figure out how to break the spell anyway, so this might not even be an issue for very long.”
“You’re very eager to see me hook up with her.” Ben’s leg jogged beneath the desk. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought this up with Mariel in the first place—sure, she was his friend, but he also felt embarrassed, like he’d been caught leaving the house with no clothes on. This wasn’t a part of him he’d shown many people over the years.
“I’m eager to see you happy,” Mariel retorted. “As long as I’ve known you, you’ve worked insane hours and spent most of your free time doing things for other people. You deserve to be loved up a little, Ben.” She laid a hand over his and gave it a squeeze. “If you’re worried, set some ground rules. Talk about what you’ll do if it doesn’t work out. Talk about whether this is just physical for the both of you or means something more.”
It meant more to him, but he couldn’t say that. To look Eleonore in her beautiful eyes and confess that he was falling for her meant risking her telling him he was just a bit of fun. Or a literal snack. Or worse, a way to alleviate her boredom, since he wasn’t sending her on high-stakes missions.
“Maybe,” he said after a pause.
Mariel rolled her eyes. “Men. Oz can be just as pigheaded, though thank Hecate he’s gotten better about communicating.” She stood, reaching for her watering can once more. “Give it some thought. Write down some pros and cons.” She nudged her chin toward his ledger, which was filled with painstakingly handwritten numbers. “You like doing things the analog way anyway.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. “You’ve only made fun of my paper records a million times.”
She grinned. “It’s charming. And has Eleonore seen your handwriting? It’s gorgeous. That’ll win her heart for sure.”
He scoffed, then waved her off. “Go be helpful to a plant.” Before she could get far, he spoke again. “And hey. Thanks for the advice.”
She raised her watering can in a toast of sorts. “I’m here anytime you want a female perspective.”
As she moved away, humming and watering plants and occasionally stroking leaves to impart a spark of magic into the greenery, Ben reflected that maybe talking about feelings wasn’t the worst thing ever, after all.