Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
Iawake in the middle of the night, a bone deep fatigue clouds my mind. My heart races inside of my chest and I’m convinced I haven’t fully woken up yet.
I glance out the window, my eyes drawn to the moon, huge and luminous in the midnight sky. Its pale glow spills across the room like liquid silver.
I’m still in the sanctum, but something feels different somehow. My gaze falls to the right side of the window and my heart stops. Two glowing eyes cut through the dark like embers in the night. I know those eyes, my heart starts beating again. “Conláed?”
The eyes, his eyes, disappear for a second and when I see them again he is a lot closer. “You’re awake.”
His voice sounds low and rough — more than usual — and strangely relieved. Which doesn’t make a lot of sense. I sit up, trying to ignore the sudden rush of heat that floods through me as he comes into my line of sight.
“I am.”
The fae sight is on, I’m certain, because looking at Conláed makes me want to tear off all my clothes, even more so than before. He looks like magic, it’s embedded in every single fibre of him.
“I shouldn’t be here, I don’t even know why I am. I should let you rest,” he mutters. “But I just had to see if you were…okay.”
He’s so close, I could easily reach for him and take his hand. One of his twitches and for a moment, I’m sure he might actually grab mine. The thought alone makes my breath catch. A vague memory flickers in my mind. Him holding me, me floating in some sort of lake. “You…helped me?”
He nods, face tense. “I was the only one that could hold you without getting completely burned.”
“Did I hurt you?”
He sits down on the chair where most of my visitors sat. “No. You and I? We’re kind of the same, our powers are similar. Mine too are fire bound.”
Maybe that’s why I’m so drawn to him. He holds up the palm of his hand, creating a small flame in the middle and lets it spread towards his fingers until his hand is completely enveloped with flames.
I reach out before I even realise what I’m doing. Tracing his palm with my fingertips, letting the small flame dance around my own. I giggle, it tickles, somehow.
Instantly, the flames are gone, and warm fingers enclose mine. I meet his burning gaze, noticing the pointed tips poking through his dark curls and I wonder… “What happened to me?”
He relentlessly releases my fingers and analyses me for a second before he starts talking.
“Magic is connected to our emotions. You will learn how to work with that later, but since you were feeling so many things at the time, it must’ve cracked something inside of you and your fire responded.
” I nod, I knew that already, Mrs Delalune had explained as much, so I wait until he continues.
“It rarely happens that magic isn’t used for such a long time.
We all knew you had it inside you and knew it was about to erupt at some point.
We just didn’t know this would be the cause of it.
I do have to apologise for that, feather, I wasn’t fond of the plan in the first place. ”
It makes me wonder what his plan might have been, but I won’t ask. “That’s okay, I get it.”
“We can all have a burnout, mostly due to overuse of our powers. It was different with you, but the result was the same, you were literally burning from the inside out and since your magic is fire related, you burned even brighter. We needed to cool you down immediately, so I brought you to the healing pools underneath the Sanctum. They are ancient and have tremendous abilities. I carried you into the water, not only to soothe the pain, but also to temper the burn within you.”
I try to remember it, but it feels like I’m trudging through mud. “Will it happen again?”
“It could. But you will be trained by the best teachers and if all hell breaks loose, I’ll be there.”
I’m not sure if he will ease my fire, since I feel like exploding every time he’s near. But I don’t ever want to lose control like that again. I will have to learn and control flames, so no one will get hurt, including myself.
What if I can’t control it, or can’t even create a spark? What if I burn the whole building to the ground? Would they send me away then? I bite the inside of my lip, falling down the rabbit hole that is my anxious mind.
“Hey, don’t worry. You’re not alone. We will help you in every way we can.”
My eyes find his again and I nearly melt away at the sight of him. I reach out my hand to touch the tender pointed tip of his ear, the soft curls caressing my fingertips. He holds completely still. “Why do I see you as fae all the time?”
“You do?”
“Yes, my vision doesn’t change back, you remain fae somehow.”
He turns his head to my wrist, his nose touching the pulse point there and lava flows through my veins. Suddenly aware of what I am doing, I slowly let my hand fall back into my lap.
“Does it scare you?” He asks, voice coated with something close to uncertainty.
His head tilts to the side and I don’t think I could be scared of him in a million years. “Not at all.”
“Good.”
“Great.”
He flashes a quick smile, showing his very nice teeth and I can’t help but notice how his canines looks sharper.
I let my tongue carefully feel the pointed edge of my own canines, not really feeling anything different and decide to do the stupidest thing ever.
I let it sink in my bottom lip, just to make sure I am not imagining things, but of course, the tip pierces the tender skin and I feel a sharp sting of pain. “Agh!”
I watch as Conláed’s gaze falls from my eyes to my lips, noticing the faint scent of copper, when I feel a little droplet of blood resting on my lip. I’m about to wipe it away, when his hand scoots out and his thumb cleans up the blood that was there. We both freeze, caught in the moment.
His eyes shift to mine, but fall back to my mouth as I move my tongue across my lips, tasting the blood that clings there. He moves closer to me, not sure if he is aware of it. He grabs a napkin and gently swipes it across my lip.
“Careful, those are sharp.”
“I just wanted to see if I had them too.”
“And biting your lip seemed like a good idea to you?”
“Well…”
“If you’re trying to seduce me, it’s working.”
What did he just say?
Gone is the playful smile that is unlike him, instead the familiar seriousness is back, but is different at the same time. His pupils are fully blown and the way he is watching me… Oh, he isn’t joking at all.
I move closer, like a moth drawn to a flame, wanting, no needing for him to touch me.
I want to crawl in his lap, run my fingers through his curls and let my teeth graze his neck.
The sheets that cover me fall away, revealing the flimsy top I’m wearing, my nipples peeking through the thin fabric.
I don’t even care if he sees more than he has ever seen before.
All I can focus on is him and his intoxicating scent as I move until there is only air between us and —
Footsteps sound at my door and the handle moves down. I lay down, just as Conláed moves to the shadows again until I can’t see him anymore.
Althea enters and I stop breathing. She moves towards me and I realise she might panic if I don’t breathe, I force myself to take in the air and breathe slowly and deeply. She analyses my temperature, her hands waver over me, checking on my overall state and leaves after a couple of minutes.
Only when the door closes and I’ve counted to a hundred, I open my eyes and sit up. “Conláed?”
But only silence answers. He’s gone, and I’m not sure if I’m relieved or not. What the actual fuck is going on? When did I become this horny, hormone driven person?
I fall back into the pillows and take a deep breath. I’m such a mess. Not only did I just find out I’m fae, but my heart — and mind — don’t seem to be able to figure my feelings out.
I’m surprised that sleep comes, because my heart is beating like a wild bird and the burning feeling inside of me has nothing to do with the fiery powers I possess.
I drift away with the realisation that Conláed never answered my question.