Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
I’ve gathered enough courage to return to the game, but if you ask me who won, I wouldn’t be able to tell you. My eyes continuously switch between Conláed and Aramis, the confusing wave of emotions I feel making my head spin so badly I have to excuse myself.
Ami asks if she has to accompany me, but I shake it off as just another headache and although the worry is clear in her eyes, she lets me go.
I don’t look back as I re-enter the water and swim to the sandy shore. They are too occupied with the game to notice I have left and come after me. I find my cover-up and walk up the stone stairs that lead out of the cave.
How did I go from not catching anyone’s eyes to suddenly having the attention of two of the hottest males I’ve ever met? It makes everything so confusing.
Still, that doesn’t make my feelings towards the both of them right. I don’t think it is love yet, but oh do they make my heart race.
I look around, searching for any other random male, and my heartbeat remains the same. No burning desire within me or the urge to run over, throw myself at him and kiss him endlessly.
I’m happy I’m attracted to someone, but why do there have to be two someone’s at the same time?
In a daze, I grab something to eat, hastily downing the meal without much thought. I have no appetite to say the least.
Arriving in my room, I disappear into the bathroom and take a refreshing shower, washing away the sand and hopefully my sinful thoughts with it. But even the pulsing stream can’t erase the images of hard muscles, lips touching mine and a bone shattering longing.
I quickly dry myself off, put on my pajamas and hop into bed, hoping to escape into a dreamless state where no desireful thoughts can find me.
But closing my eyes leads my mind to Aramis kissing me, his hair as soft as I imagined, luscious lips about to meet mine when his image shifts and golden eyes stare back at me with an intensity that catches my breath.
Hair that is equally as soft, but curlier and dark brown, not blond and —
I open my eyes.
Sparks fly around me once more.
Stupid. Fucking. Hormones.
I try to think of sunny fields, the grass I can only imagine between my toes or sand. Sand is also a possibility, but that leads to water. And water leads to a clear blue lake, where a beautiful waterfall sits. Where a male appeared that I wasn’t expecting, yet…
I pick up my pillow and cover my face, numbing the growl that is tearing from my throat. Sleep will not come for me, not with me being this restless.
I throw the pillow away and look out the window. No snow falls from the sky. A walk could do wonders. Lights dance between the trees, so I won’t be all alone. Besides, what is there to fear?
I walk to my closet and change into a more weather appropriate outfit, before I put on my shoes and grab my coat. The cool air will hopefully cool the heat that doesn’t seem to disappear.
My feet sink deep into the snow, my balance wavering, until I reach the cleared path, finding other fae walking as well.
Lightbulbs float around them and I wonder when I’ll be able to create my own light. It might be basic magic, but I have no idea where to begin. Luckily, there are little lights along the path, so I’m not completely walking blindly.
The fae I come across appear human to me; no magical glow or pointed ears as far as I can see. But why is Conláed the only one who remains fae all the time? Even Ami still appears human most of the time.
Help.
I halt. The voice is so faint I nearly mistake it for the crackling of the branches above my head.
Help me.
A chill runs down my spine. I turn my head to the left, seeing a path there that I haven’t walked before. I can’t see much, there aren’t as many lights there.
Please…help…me…
Screw it, there’s no time. And I have powers now, right? What’s the worst that can happen?
I run onto the unfamiliar path, my eyes adjusting to the dimly lit surroundings, until I reach a clearing overlooking a lake. I can only tell by the sound of water hitting the land. It might be the one I saw outside of the window once.
Help…me…
“I’m coming!”
I look around, searching for the owner of the voice, but it’s so dark, I barely see a hand in front of me. I walk in circles and call out, hoping the fae is still conscious and can hear me.
A bit of light would be handy right now.
I stop in my tracks. My power is fire, I should be able to at least summon a little flame to help me, right?
Placing my hands in front of me, palms up, I try to think about conjuring a flame, the scorching heat it might bring with it.
I open my eyes when a faint tingling starts at my fingertips, but there are no flames to be seen. Not even a single spark.
Help…
The voice silences, the sound so weak now.
Damn it, Mai!
I close my eyes again, thinking about the desire I felt that led me to taking this walk. It burned so hot, I thought I would catch fire, even surrounded by water. I breathe faster and feel my temperature rise, right when my right hand contracts and an electric shock runs through my palm.
A warmth caresses my face and I open my eyes, seeing a faint golden flame flickering in the palm of my hand. I smile, the edges of the flame rippling with my quick breaths. I try to regulate it and watch as the edges become steadier.
Huh. Here I was only minutes ago, telling myself I couldn’t produce light. Would you look at that! I’m so telling Ami about this.
A low grunt echoes around me and my joy disappears. Someone’s still in need and by the sound of that, I am running out of time.
Only then I look up, scanning the clearing until my eyes land on a dark shadow lying in the snow near a big tree. I rush over, carefully trying to keep my flame from extinguishing. I land on my knees, the material of my trousers instantly wet, and carefully grab the shoulder, turning it towards me.
“I’m here! Are you hu —”
But as soon as my fingers touch the rough material, the figure evaporates in the wind and all there is left is the cloak.
What the…?
I turn around, my heartbeat racing, the golden flame in my palm flickers with the irregular beats of my heart. Only then do I notice roots sticking out of the snow surrounding me like a…trap.
The second the thought leaves my mind, the roots wrap around my ankles and pull tight, my flame extinguishing instantly. I try to get up, but they climb up my legs like snakes, restricting me from moving until only my face and neck are free.
Loud cracking of wood fills my ears, so loud it is nearly painful. The wind whips around my face, cutting my cheeks and bringing tears to my eyes. The scent of rotting leaves and mould fills my nose and I gag.
Something makes the earth shake beneath my feet, and a dark shadow slowly prowls towards me.
“Help me, please!” I plead. “Help…me.”
My voice dies out, because the shadowy figure I can finally differentiate looks like something straight out of a nightmare.
I saw an image of it only this morning, but it looks even worse in reality.
It’s tall with bark-like skin, pulsing veins the colour of poison green running between the cracks and pulsing wickedly.
Hands are replaced by sharp looking talons and its eyes are voids of endless darkness. Snow blackens underneath its feet with every step it takes and dried out branches break from the trees surrounding us.
My eyes go wide and I scream, but the creature releases a diabolical sound that can only be its own version of laughter.
I try to summon a flame, a spark, anything to burn the roots around me and take a run for it.
But no matter how hard I try, I am utterly human right now and I am terrified.
No heat flows in my veins, only blood, and the cold spreads like ice shards through my body.
The creature looms over me and I inhale the scent of rotten fruit and leaves. I try to hold my breath, but with the roots giving me less room with every passing second, I eventually have to inhale, the scent making me nauseous instantly.
Although its facial features are barely distinguishable, I think it is smirking, which is definitely not a good sign.
Its eyes glow like hellfire and the roots cut in my skin. I scream, but the air is being sucked out of me as I’m yanked into the air and flung backwards until I’m pushed towards the ground, where ice cold water awaits me.
I don’t even have time — nor the ability — to take a final breath as the water clashes around me and I’m dragged deep under the clear surface. I trash, pushing against the painful roots, but the more I move, the more they constrict.
Cold seeps into my bones, my fingers and toes go numb instantly, yet no hint of my flames to be felt or seen.
I scream, realising I am wasting precious air and silence that too.
I’m crying, or at least I think I am. The pressure in my ears is unbearable, yet I’m still being dragged deeper into the lake.
Until only darkness exists around me. That’s when the glowing eyes appear.
My chest hurts, the pressure unbearable and I don’t think I can hold my breath for much longer. There wasn’t much air left in my lungs anyway. My heart pounds in my ears, frantic and panicked, until its beat starts to slow and my vision blurs.
I breathe in, choking on the water that now fills my lungs.
This is my end.
Alone again, in the depths of a lake where no one will find me. It was too good to be true, happiness isn’t something that is granted to me.
I say my silent goodbyes, to my friends, old and new, to the ones that stole my heart, accepting now that it’s two souls at the same time, each in a whole different way. I never expected to feel this way in a million years.
I am lucky in a way, to arrive at a place that finally feels like home, where people care about me. A place where I belong. I am grateful for all the small lights that came into my life when I needed it the most. Although it saddens me I won’t be able to tell them how much I appreciate them.
I close my eyes, unable to fight anymore, at peace with what’s about to come next.