Chapter 40
CHAPTER FORTY
My fist bangs on the door of the room a couple of doors from mine. No one answers.
“Ami!” I whisper—shout and knock once more.
I’ve never been drunk before, or high for that matter, but I imagine this is what it feels like; dizziness that only gets worse when lying down, the delicious food I ate yesterday this close from coming out and the pounding in my head that is a whole different headache than the ones I’m used to.
The fire that was lit yesterday still burns and aches beneath my thighs, and although I wish it was different, I remember every.
single. thing. And I don’t know if I am happy about it or want to disappear in the deepest cave and never come out again.
What I do know for sure is that I can’t face Aramis.
Who can I face? His ever-sweet twin sister, who knew without a doubt how this was about to go down.
I knock again, but she’s either not there or she doesn’t want to open the door. I’m about to let myself in, when another door opens behind me and Ami slips out of Neo’s room, carefully closing it when she leaves.
She rushes over to me, grabs my hand and pulls me into her room. “Well good morning, babes, how was your evening slash night?” She grins so wickedly, I’m about to throw my sock at her. Analysing my face, she starts laughing. “My my, that good, huh?”
I look the same, but when my face stared back at me in the mirror this morning, a royal blush spread across my cheeks and my eyes were still a little glassy. “Couldn’t you have at least warned me?
“Oh, but I did.”
I let out a frustrated cry. “No, that is not what you did, Ami! You only said ‘don’t do things I wouldn’t do’, how was I supposed to know what that means?”
She waves her hand, sitting down on the bed. “Details, details. But, tell me, did you give in to your…urges?
I pick up the nearest pillow and throw it at her, making her laugh only louder. “What do you think, huh?”
I walk over to her and pick up the pillow, softly hitting her with it until she holds up a hand in surrender, tears rolling down her cheeks from laughter. “I’m waving a white flag here.”
I stop, sitting down next to her.
Trying — and failing — to keep a serious face, she pulls the pillow to her chest. “What happened?”
I bend over and fall into the other pillow, burying my face and mumbling the words, hoping she will hear them.
“I’m sorry, babes, I didn’t quite get what you were saying.”
I sigh and sit back up. “Moons Ami, I’ve never felt like that before. It felt like I was…possessed or something, ready to tear all my clothes off.”
“And did you?”
“No!” I quickly answer, maybe a little too quick. “No, not at all, it’s just…”
She grabs my hand. “It really is okay, whatever happened, I’m sure my bro…
the other fae knows how new you are to the fae world and that you’re not used to our Nectar.
Our tolerance is higher because our magic tempers its effect.
But even we feel it humming in our veins.
” That only dims my embarrassment slightly.
Ami squeezes my hand, all serious now. “Did you do things you regret?”
I cover my face with my hands. “No and I think that’s the worst part. I wanted it all and more.”
She pulls my hands away from my face. “You are a woman; it is normal — natural even — that you have needs and desires. The nectar just brought them more to the surface and made you act on thoughts you might’ve had for a little while.”
“I’ll get over it, nothing really happened.”
“Exactly!” she pauses, squeezing her eyes a little. “And who did —”
I hold up a hand. “I will not answer that question.”
She stands up from the bed and walks over to her closet. “Okay, fine. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” She picks out an outfit and heads for the bathroom. “We should get dressed and grab some breakfast. You’re about to get your first magic lesson.”
I nearly fall from the bed, barely catching myself before I meet the ground. “I’m sorry, what?”
“You know…magic, the powers you possess but don’t know how to use.” She says from the bathroom. “Mrs Delalune didn’t want to stall it any longer, especially since the attack. She wants you to learn how to use them.”
“Why are you just telling me now?”
“Relax, we still have enough time.” Her head peaks from behind the door. “But I really would get dressed if I were you.”
And with that, I run back to my room, freshen up and get dressed, to rush back in the hallway, finding Ami already there.
“What will they teach me?” I ask her as we walk down the stairs.
“Hm, I think the basics really. Learning how to connect to the spark within you, something like that.”
I hold up my palm and try to summon a flame like I did in the woods the other day, but thinking about that moment brings up images of what happened there and the flame inside of me extinguishes.
“She will guide you, navigate you through the process. I promise you will be fine.”
“She?”
“Ah yes, Seraphe. She is the best teacher you could wish for. She is all about inner balance, which might be a good start for you.”
We reach the restaurant, but my appetite is gone and is instead replaced by a whole lot of nerves. My flames cinder beneath my skin, but summoning them is a whole other thing.
So when Ami brings me to the classroom, my hands shake and palms are sweaty. She gives me an encouraging push and I walk in the room, where windows of tinted glass colour the floor in reds and blues, greens and yellows.
I am all alone. I know I shouldn’t expect other students at this point, since I am probably the only one who is new to fae world and has no knowledge about it or her powers whatsoever. Although I can’t deny that some company would’ve been nice.
A door I had mistaken for a closet opens and my teacher enters. To no one's surprise, she looks ethereal with her high cheekbones and onyx skin, eyes a molten gold-green hue that look ancient, yet kind. Wild black curls cascade down her back and delicate golden circlets adorn her locks.
She’s dressed in an emerald green robe that suits her perfectly. I’m sure if I was to wear something like this, I would look like a complete fool. Yet she looks impeccable, she is power.
“Hello, Maily, my name is Seraphe, I am your teacher for today. How are you feeling?”
Her voice is like a balm over my nerves. “I’m nervous and unsure of what to expect.”
Her smile is warm and kind. “I understand that you are, but there is no need to be. I will guide you, not force you, and if your blockage is too strong, we will try another day. There is no need to rush.” And with that, my nerves evaporate and she dives right in.
“Tell me, how do you summon your flame and what do you feel at that moment?”
I take a moment to think about her question before answering it.
“Uhm, I think about what fire resembles to me; warmth, the soothing crackling of wood, feeling your fingers tingle after a cold walk outside. It makes heat ignite inside me and I try to send it to my fingertips, my palms. But I only managed to do so once.”
“Your technique is good, it will eventually come as naturally as breathing. But visualising what you want is a great way to start.” She holds out her hand. “May I?”
Without any hesitation, I lay my hand in hers and feel the little familiar shock of energy traveling up my arm.
Her dark fingers close around mine and her eyes turn more golden now, the green only faint specks.
The fire inside of me burns a little hotter and it spreads not only to my fingertips, but along my arms, across my shoulders and down my back, until I am covered in vibrant energy.
Sparks appear around us and Seraphe winks before the whole room erupts in flames.
“Whoa,” I say, watching as fire dances around us, spreading until a full circle is formed and the flames burn brighter. I stretch out my free hand, reaching for the heat that isn’t unfamiliar and watch as it moves with me. “This is magnificent, your powers are fire bound too?”
Her smile is so honest and pure, the flames react to it, the colours deepening. “Oh no, my darling, this is all you.”
And with that, the flames disappear. “It is? But…how?”
She releases my hand and sits down on the ground in one smooth movement. “I am what you call an amplifier; I possess some minor magic but my strongest gift is complementing the powers of another fae or creature.”
I sit down in front of her, legs crossed. “So the flames were…”
“All yours. I’ve been around for a long time, but have only seen a fire this strong a couple of times.”
With my palm on my knee, I try to summon the flame once more, but only small sparks dance around my fingers. Disappointment sets heavily in my stomach, the sparks go dormant.
“Chin up, Maily. Try to see your powers as a muscle you haven’t used in a long time. It’s still there, but you need to train it so it becomes usable and strong again.”
And as she touches my knee and power rises again, I see reason in her words. “I understand.”
“Good. Now, why don’t we try to grow the connection between you and your fae self?”
Seraphe explains that magic is not just power, but a reflection of yourself, what lies within.
The reason my powers manifested and lashed out that day I saw the not so dead Ami, was because my emotions were all over the place and those two are intertwined.
High emotions create strong powers, which can lead to a good or a bad outcome.
Why my powers didn’t answer when I was in danger is due to a combination of my inexperience and the fact that I was actually petrified.
By the end of our first lesson, I can summon the sparks that dance around my fingers, but no flame appears in my waiting palm.
I feel like the biggest failure, but Seraphe is positivity herself and her encouragement is the motivation I need. We plan our next lesson in two days, giving me enough time to rest for the complete exhaustion I will feel tomorrow.