Twelve
TWELVE
LEORA
A s cute as your dresses are, you'll need more elegant attire for people to believe you're my wife.
I’m classy. I’m classy as fuck, normally .
But I’m on vacation now, so all he’s seen of me is what I look like in yoga pants, a short black dress for a night out, or in someting as simple as jeans shorts.
Moreover, why did I have to add that I don’t want any money after this is over? I need the money. Even though I’ll have a job after this, the extra money could help me buy a new apartment. I’m an idiot.
After his remarks, however, I decide to actually do what I’m told and max out his credit card.
I stomp my way up the stairs, sweating my ass off, until I reach our floor and open the door.
Adeline greets me as I stop into the room. "Well, hello to you too. Where have you been?"
"Did you do it?" Sophie asks.
I walk by them and go straight to the bedroom. "It looks like I’m getting married on Saturday."
Both of them scramble off the sofa and rush after me.
"This Saturday? As in, the Saturday we fly back home?"
Fuck, I had forgotten about that. How the hell am I going to do this without them?
"I can’t do this without you. This is a mistake. I should call him back and tell him I changed my mind."
"No. No. No, don’t freak out. You decided that you’d do this and you will." Sophie reassures me, but the unease lingers.
"Habibti, listen, I know I was against this idea in the beginning, but I’m coming around. It’s going to help you out a lot in your career, and whenever you doubt this, remember you’re doing it for the experience."
I’m doing it for the experience; I repeat the mantra in my head. Whenever we’re unsure of something, Adeline always says, " Do it for the experience. You’re the main character and whatever moment—good or bad—is merely a plot point leading you to your end chapter."
Adeline caresses my hair and I relax into the feeling. "On the bright side, if this doesn’t work out, you’ve given me the perfect premise for my next book."
I gently push her away. "I hope I’ll get twenty percent of the royalties if you ever write it." She laughs and Sophie and I join her.
"What’s that in your hand?" Sophie asks me, curiously. I completely forgot about his credit card. I raise it, showing it to the girls, giving them a rundown of what happened.
"Who wants to come engagement ring shopping with me tomorrow?" I smirk, waving the black card in the air.
The rings sparkle in all sorts of ways. Adeline looked up a few jewelry shops in the area, and this is the second one we’re visiting. My heart is pounding as the reality of it all settles in.
What am I doing?
"Leora, come on!" Adeline calls, waving me over. I take a deep breath and follow them into the store, my eyes drawn to the sparkling diamonds and colorful gems.
The saleswoman greets us warmly and asks us what we’re looking for. I swallow hard, feeling overwhelmed. Noticing my unease, Adeline takes charge, explaining that we need an engagement ring for me and wedding bands for Lucas and I. The saleswoman looks at us incredulously, probably surprised that I’m the one buying the rings, but I laugh it away by explaining that my fiancé is very, very busy with work and that I’m very particular when it comes to jewelry. She nods, not saying anything, as she shows us a variety of rings, each with its own unique cut and carat.
I try on rings in yellow gold and white gold, princess cut and square cut, but none feel right. If I’m being honest, I should just pick one and get it over with, but there’s something in me that wants to relish this moment. What if I’ll never have the chance to wear an engagement ring again?
"This is one of our most spectacular rings. I’ve seen several celebrities wear it." She brings it out and takes my hand in hers before pushing it onto my ring finger. It's a square-cut diamond, at least 5-carats with a halo of smaller diamonds surrounding it. It sparkles when it catches the light, but it's way too big and extravagant for my taste. I don't want something that screams , "Look at me, I'm engaged!" because in reality, I won’t be engaged or married for long. Nonetheless, Lucas said I needed to get something "believable"—whatever that might mean—and he's paying for it
Sophie notices my hesitation. "Maybe something less in-your-face. Do you have anything smaller?" The saleswoman lets out a small huff, probably tired of my ambivalence.
We move on to a display of oval-cut diamonds in different settings, but they don't quite catch my eye either.
Then we come across a round-cut solitaire with a few smaller diamonds on the band, and it immediately feels more to my taste. The center diamond is smaller, just over a carat, and yet it’s beautiful in its simplicity. But then my eyes find another ring—a ring that makes me think of Lucas’s words again, and I smile.
"This is a beautiful piece," the saleswoman states, noticing how my eyes light up and I nod.
"It is, but I want that one." I point at a smaller, solitaire ring. It’s modest and delicate, something I doubt Lucas will like. Which is exactly why I want it.
Sophie leans in. "But you seemed drawn to that other one with the slightly bigger diamond."
I shrug. "I want this one."
The saleswoman nods hesitantly and takes it out. "This is a 0.2-carat diamond with an excellent cut and an IF clarity."
"Great, I want it."
It’s perfect, because Lucas is going to hate it. Excitement bubbles in my stomach. I can’t wait to see Mr. You-Have-To-Look-the-Part’s face when he sees this ring.
I leave the jewelry shop with the little engagement ring on my finger and with two wedding bands stuffed in a white bag. A simple platinum ring for Lucas and a matching, single-row, diamond-covered ring for me. It was too beautiful not to buy.
As we walk toward another boutique, this time to find some clothes, Adeline stops us in the middle of the street. "I seriously don’t understand why you didn’t get the bigger ring. He’s the one paying. Let’s go back."
"Because I have a feeling he’ll hate this ring and seeing his reaction will be better than owning the largest rock we could find."
We step into the boutique, my eyes scanning the racks of clothes for something eye-catching. Lucas had demanded that I go on a shopping spree to buy new, elegant attire. So here I am, using his card, already taking on the role of his "wife".
I move from one rack to another, examining the various styles and fabrics before picking up a few dresses, and holding them up to imagine how they would look on me. A sweet sundress catches my eye, and I add it to my pile before remembering what Lucas said. Returning it to the rack, I go for a few staple pieces instead: little black dresses, evening dresses, and some work attire. I also purchase three new blazers and blouses, along with two pairs of jeans. It’s a good start but I will have to do a lot more shopping after the wedding.
Every time I think about that word, wedding , my stomach rolls and I feel as if I’m about to vomit.
"What are you wearing on Saturday?" Adeline asks as she looks through the racks of clothes.
"I don’t know. We’re only going to the town hall."
"Okay? But you’re getting married, so you still need to wear something suitable. What about this one?" She pulls out a white midi-dress with bare shoulders. It’s simple, which makes it the perfect piece. I take it from her and hold it up to my body.
"Go try it on," Sophie says, and I listen.
I stand in front of the mirror in the boutique’s dressing room, examining my reflection. The dress is fitted and it accentuates my curves. I feel beautiful and sexy, but then that familiar voice creeps into my head, "Babe, you know I think you are beautiful, but maybe a super tight dress isn’t the best choice."
That voice makes me look in the mirror through another set of eyes. The dress is beautiful, but it could look better if I had time to lose a little weight.
I shake my head, stopping myself from giving any attention to the unhealthy and unnecessary thoughts. Who cares if I don’t have the flattest stomach or that I’m rounder around my hips?
I take a deep breath and remind myself that I’m beautiful just the way I am. I deserve to feel confident and sensual, and I can’t let anyone else's opinions bring me down. The most important thing is that I value myself.
I think that’s what the article, How to Love Yourself in 12 steps, said .
With that thought in mind, I decide to step out of the changing room and show the girls.
Both Sophie and Adeline look up, their faces breaking into wide smiles at the sight of me in the white dress.
"That. Is. Perfect," Adeline exclaims as she rushes toward me, her hands landing on my waist.
"You look beautiful." Sophie joins Adeline, her hand raised over her mouth. "Why does it feel like I’m going to cry?" she wonders aloud.
"Thank you. I think this is the one for the occasion." I give a little twirl, and both Sophie and Adeline clap their hands in excitement.
"Lucas is going to go crazy when he sees you," Adeline exclaims, her initial reluctance now replaced by enthusiasm.
"Do you think so?" I give them an uncertain smile.
"I know so." Sophie adds.
As much as I don't want to care about his opinion, something in me seeks his validation.
I guess we’ll see on Saturday.