Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Felicity stood in the bedroom of the cabin and sucked in a deep breath. She needed to go back out there and apologize. Or at least explain herself. She felt like a major fool, getting so upset about the tree, but the apples… They’d brought everything back from that night six years ago.
The anger. The pain. The heartbreak.
It had been six years, and she still wasn’t able to face those apples.
“Get it together, Felicity,” she told herself. “You’re going to have to face him at some point.” It wasn’t like she could just lock herself in the bedroom and expect him to sleep on the couch without any blankets or a pillow. One way or another, she’d have to leave the bedroom.
Feeling like a fool, she tentatively pulled the door open to find Jackson taking the Christmas tree down. She glanced at the window, noting the snow clinging to the glass, and then she eyed the flames flickering in the fireplace.
Cozy. That was the only way to describe the scene.
And she’d ruined it.
“Jackson, wait,” she said.
He straightened and turned around to face her. “Wait for what?”
“Don’t put the tree away,” she said as she walked over to him and took the section of tree he’d just removed and put it back on the metal pole. “I overreacted. Majorly. Setting up the tree would make the cabin more festive. I’m sure my next guests would quite enjoy it.”
“But you won’t,” he said, already reaching for the section of tree she’d just replaced.
“It’s not the tree,” she said quickly. “It’s the apples.” Her voice cracked on the word apples, and she had to turn away so he wouldn’t see the tears shining in her eyes.
“I see,” he said softly. “I’ve already put those away, so if you want to decorate this tree, I’m here to serve in any way you wish.”
She turned back to him, her lips twitching into the tiniest hint of a smile. “Why does that sound dirty?”
“Because your mind is in the gutter,” he said. “Just where I like it.”
She laughed, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders. Jackson always had a way of making her feel lighter. How did he do that?
“Now, tell me which ornaments you want to use, and I’ll unpack them while you place them on the tree,” he said.
“Anything but the apples,” she said, her smile fading a bit.
But in an effort to keep the mood light, she pushed those memories to the back of her mind and tried to focus on the Christmases she’d spent with her two best friends, Marissa and Clara, instead.
The ones when they wore onesie pajamas, spiked their hot chocolates with Irish Cream, and watched Hallmark movies until all hours of the night while making fun of the silly plotlines that they all secretly loved.
“Is that a smile I see?” Jackson asked as he opened a box of handblown glass ornaments that had been purchased from Clara’s shop.
“I was just wishing that the cabin had a television so that I could force you to watch Hallmark movies while we decorate this tree.”
“Is that right?” His eyes sparkled with amusement. “I’ve got a laptop. Does this joint have internet?”
“It does!” She laughed. “You’re really game for watching cheesy Christmas movies?”
“Bring it on, Felicity,” he said as he reached for the backpack he’d brought in with him. A moment later, he had the laptop open and asked for the password.
“ApplePie1942.” She typed it in for him and waited. And waited some more.
They tried again before concluding that the internet must be out due to the storm.
“Darn it!” Felicity said. “I think there was a good one on tonight, too. Sleighed Inn.” She cackled and added, “I’m pretty sure it’s about a couple that get snowed in at a remote inn in the woods.”
Jackson laughed. “You mean we’re a cliché already?”
“Looks like it.” Felicity nudged him playfully, nearly sending them both to the hardwood floor.
“Whoa,” he said softly as he grabbed her around the waist and stabilized them both. “Careful. We don’t want to break anything.”
“Right. Cleaning up those ornaments would be a pain,” she said.
“I meant bones, but that’s true, too,” he said.
There was an awkward silence as they stood together with Jackson’s arms around Felicity. He cleared his throat and then let her go as he took a step back, much to her disappointment. As far as she was concerned, he could have held her all night. Just as long as it was only for the night.
“If we can’t have Christmas movies, how about a little music?” Jackson said and tapped his phone to start the music station again. “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” came on, making them both laugh.
“Perfect,” Felicity said, grinning at him. She didn’t know how it was possible, but Jackson Bell was turning out to be just as much fun, if not more, than her two besties. And for the first time all night, she finally admitted to herself that she was actually happy to be snowed in with him.
With the Christmas music filling the cabin and the tree coming to life, Felicity found herself sneaking glances at Jackson.
He had a natural ease about him that somehow settled her.
For six years, she’d felt like she’d been operating on pure nerves each Christmas season.
It was both a month that she just wanted to curl up and pretend it didn’t exist, and one where she had to be at the top of her game since it was the busiest time of year at Apples and Spice and Everything Nice.
Christmas Grove always thrived during the season, since there were so many tourists who frequented the magical holiday town.
It meant all the businesses were busier than ever, making the majority of their income between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.
So every year, she pasted on a smile, and during operating hours, pretended that she was just as jolly as everyone else.
But in reality, she just couldn’t wait until the season was over.
“Everything okay?” Jackson asked her.
“Huh?” She looked up from the ornament she had in her hand.
“You look a little… distracted,” he said, taking the ornament and placing it on the tree.
That was a nice way of putting it. If she had to guess, she probably seemed glum, but he was too polite to say so. “I was just counting the days until the holidays are over.”
He raised one eyebrow. “You live in Christmas Grove and don’t like the holidays?”
“Blasphemy, right?” she said, forcing a smile as she took a seat on the couch. “I didn’t always feel this way.”
He took a seat next to her. “What happened?”
Felicity stared at the fire. “Six years ago, we lost my grandmother right before Christmas. It was unexpected, and ever since then…” She shrugged. “It’s hard to get through.”
Sympathy shone in his dark eyes. “That makes sense. Are the apples hers?”
A lump formed in Felicity’s throat. “Yes. She made them herself.”
Jackson scooted over and slipped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close.
She leaned her head on his shoulder, wondering what had possessed her to open up to him. She never talked about her grandma. Not to anyone she dated, anyway.
Not that she was dating Jackson.
“I’m sorry. It sounds like she was very special,” he said softly.
“She was.” Felicity sucked in a halting breath and then let out a humorless laugh. She couldn’t believe she was on the verge of blubbering in Jackson’s arms. All over a box of glass apples. “I think I’m going to need some more wine.”
“I can make that happen.” He rose, disappeared into the kitchen, and a few moments later, reappeared with two glasses and a bottle of wine. “Here.”
She held both glasses while he filled them with merlot.
Once he was settled beside her, he said, “I was really close to my great-aunt when I was a kid. She was the main reason I started skiing competitively.”
“Really?” Felicity knew he’d been a competitive skier at one point, but she didn’t know when he’d stopped or why. “Did she tear up the slopes with you or something?”
Jackson threw his head back and laughed. “Tilly on skis? No. I’m not sure she ever participated in any sport her entire life.”
“Okay. Then how did she influence you to enter the world of competitive sports?” Felicity took a long sip of her wine, grateful to be talking about someone other than her grandmother.
“She lived with us after my mother left,” he said.
“My dad worked all the time, which is likely why she abandoned us.” Jackson let out a sad, humorless laugh.
“Tilly was the person who was there for me. No matter what I was interested in, she always encouraged me to go after it. She’d say, ‘Jackson, don’t let anyone tell you you’re not good enough.
If you want to ski, then you should ski.
Fall on your face and get back up and do it all over again and again and again.
If you’re passionate about it, then embrace it. Love it. Put your heart into it.’”
“Tilly sounds wonderful,” Felicity said. “And your dad? Was he encouraging?”
Jackson shrugged. “I suppose? But only when he realized I was good enough to be a contender for the US team. Prior to that he really didn’t say much.
Especially since Tilly always told him to get on board or keep his thoughts to himself.
” There was a light in Jackson’s eye now and a genuine smile.
“She was the only person on earth who could put him in his place.”
“And your mom? Did you see her after she left?” Felicity asked.
His smile faded, and she instantly regretted her question.
“I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that.
It’s none of my business.” Her own mother had left Christmas Grove when Felicity was just fifteen.
After her parents’ divorce, Rebecca had decided she needed a fresh start somewhere else.
When Felicity had refused to leave, she’d left her with her grandmother.
“It’s fine,” Jackson said, his voice flat.
“Our relationship is complicated. She moved out of state and I only saw her a couple of times when I was a kid. A few years ago, she decided she wanted to reconnect, but it’s been rocky at best. She came here for the Christmas season that year, but I haven’t seen her since. ”
“I bet Tilly has some choice words for her,” Felicity said.
“She used to. My aunt passed a few years before my dad did.”
The sadness in his expression made Felicity reach out and squeeze his hand.
What she really wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and…
do what? Reassure him that he wasn’t alone?
From the woman who wasn’t interested in a long-term relationship?
Those words would seem awfully empty coming from her.
She had her friends to call family. She assumed he did, too.
He was close to Danny and Marissa, but otherwise, she really didn’t know who he called family.
“I think we need more wine,” she said.
He nodded. “I couldn’t agree more.”