Chapter 6
Azam had disappeared and returned a few moments later with a dress and a measuring tape hanging around his neck.
‘Kiri has a whole box of dresses that she doesn’t wear anymore,’ he said. ‘I can alter them for you.’
‘Oh! No, that’s alright,’ Sonya protested, even though she was dying to get out of the filthy uniform dress. ‘It’ll be too much work.’ She didn’t want to cause a fuss even more than she already had.
Azam gave her a funny look, lips tilted. ‘I’m a stitch-witch, remember?’
‘You must be tired of working on clothes, then,’ she said. ‘It’s what you do all day.’
‘No, not at all!’ he replied, running a hand through his wavy hair.
‘I love it.’ He paused. ‘Well, I don’t love my job at the moment because I’m only an apprentice.
It’s a very lowly job—but I’m hoping to be promoted soon.
’ He looked away, a wistful expression crossing his face.
‘What I’d really love to do is reopen my mother’s shop … ’
‘That would be wonderful,’ she said.
He looked at her. ‘We obviously had to close when my mother passed away three years ago. Dania was still just a baby,’ he said, and now he looked sad. ‘But I’m sure if we opened up and got it running once more, it could be lucrative. I just don’t have the time, with my job and everything.’
‘I hope you can,’ she said, suddenly filled with the intense desire to see his dreams come true.
She had never really had dreams before; she had never thought that far in advance.
But it was inspiring to see what he yearned for.
‘Would it be very different from the work you do with the tailor in Castletown now?’
He nodded. ‘Over there, I don’t really have the liberty to do what I want.
I have to do what I’m told, and it’s mostly things like uniforms and articles that are uninteresting,’ he explained.
‘My mother used to make things for special occasions, things people would save up for and splurge on: a suit for a man’s retirement, or a dress for a girl’s sixteenth birthday, even a wedding gown or two!
Clothes that would be part of big days or moments, clothes that would make a difference and be remembered.
’ He broke off, looking a little embarrassed by how passionately he had spoken. ‘Sorry.’
‘No, don’t be!’ She moved toward him. ‘I have never thought about clothes that way, but you’re right.’ Perhaps it was because she had always had so many that she had never valued clothes in the way that one should. ‘They do make all the difference.’
A new dress right then would make a difference because the uniform really was quite uncomfortable in its current state. She looked down at the dress, then back at him.
‘If you insist it isn’t any trouble,’ she said, ‘I would love a new dress.’
He smiled. ‘It isn’t! Not at all! I don’t get to meet the customers at the tailor I work for, so it’s all impersonal, but doing something like this is fun for me. I make all of Dania’s clothes, as well, not that the bandri can stay clean for more than a few hours.’
‘Yes, I noticed that,’ Sonya said, with a chuckle.
‘I’ve made loads of alterations to Grandma Kiri’s clothes, so I’ll be happy to do the same for you.’ He seemed excited now, full of energy. ‘Come on, let me take your measurements.’ He paused all of a sudden, his cheeks turning pink. ‘Um, if that’s alright with you, of course.’
‘Yes, of course,’ she replied, but her cheeks felt warm, too. ‘Just give me a moment.’ She didn’t know why she felt nervous all of a sudden. She had her measurements taken often and was used to stripping down in front of her tailors. There was no reason to feel shy in front of Azam.
It was probably because she was so bedraggled. Yes, that was it.
She went to the bathroom and closed the door behind her, then peeled off her dress. It truly was quite dirty, and her skin wasn’t much better. Oh god, do I smell?
She washed herself as well as she could, leaving her chemise, drawers, and socks on, which weren’t exactly clean either, but she had to wear something.
Luckily, the underclothes kept her mostly covered, except for a bare strip of skin on her thighs, above her socks and below her drawers.
Smoothing her hair, Sonya looked in the mirror. She lifted her chin, then walked out, stepping back into the main room where Azam was waiting.
He was playing with the end of the measuring tape, but when he heard the door open, he looked up. He froze. His jaw went slack and his cheeks most definitely darkened in color. Sonya’s pulse quickened.
Azam cleared his throat, straightening his shoulders. He gestured to the box he had put in front of him, an old crate.
‘Don’t worry, it’s sturdy,’ he said with a quick smile. ‘If you could just stand up here.’
He offered her his hand and she walked over to take it, stepping up and onto the crate. She was an inch or two taller than him now, and he looked up at her from under dark lashes. She shivered, suddenly cold in her undergarments.
‘May I?’ he asked. She nodded, squeaking out a sound.
He began, his brows pinched with concentration as he moved the measuring tape across her skin, light as a feather. She caught the scent of strong black tea again, and a strange new emotion stirred deep in her belly, as potent and frightening as lightning.
He was a gentleman. She knew she was safe with him, even though she had only known him for a day.
Still, to have him so near—it made her dizzy.
He measured her shoulders, then the length of her arms; the length down to her hips; the length down to her calves.
He measured her bust, and she looked up at the ceiling.
His hands hardly touched her, and he worked quickly, until he was nearly done.
He measured her hips, then all that was left was her waist. The measuring tape wrapped around the smallest part of her torso, and she felt his fingers skim across her stomach.
A tingle ran down her spine. The tape tightened, and the slight tug made her unsteady.
She sincerely hoped she wouldn’t faint again, but she did quite literally feel faint in that moment.
‘Finished,’ he said, voice hoarse. She watched the way his throat moved as he swallowed, blood rushing in her ears. He dropped the measuring tape, and the point of contact between them broke. Her skin prickled with gooseflesh.
Sonya caught her breath. Their faces were so close to each other’s then, especially since they were nearer to the same height now. She could gaze deeply into his eyes, and as she did, his eyelashes fluttered, like a raven’s wings flapping. She felt a little weak in the knees, and then she swayed.
He caught her waist. ‘Steady, there.’
Her hands moved to his shoulders, and his fingers burned into her skin, the thin material of her chemise hardly a barrier at all from the warmth of his hands.
‘Are you alright?’ he asked.
His eyes were so very brown. She swallowed, trying to find her voice. ‘Just a bit tired,’ she replied.
He frowned. Before she knew what was happening, he lifted her off the box, hands firm on her waist as he set her back on the ground. Then she was looking up at him again.
‘You should rest,’ he said, but neither of them moved their hands.
His were still on her waist, while hers were steady on his shoulders. She could feel the press of each of his fingers as though they were directly on her skin, and she marveled at just how much of her body his hands covered.
And then she understood what the strange new feeling was. Desire.
Sonya had never felt it before, this deep ache, the way her heart was beating so hard it felt like it was a horse that would gallop out of the confines of her ribs.
It was thrilling. She couldn’t move. She didn’t want to.
Until the door opened, and Kiri entered. Azam jumped back, face red, and embarrassment flushed through Sonya. She felt hot all over—but Kiri looked unfazed.
‘I’ve put Dania to sleep and run a hot bath for you, Sonya,’ Kiri said. ‘Come, I’ll wash your hair. It’s filthy.’
Sonya touched her hair, ashamed, though she knew that hadn’t been Kiri’s intent.
‘I—’ She didn’t know what to say. She felt like a burden then, to need Kiri to wash her hair, which was ironic because at the castle she had had an entire herd of people doing things for her, day and night.
But that was their job. Kiri had no obligation to Sonya.
Kiri’s face softened. ‘If I can manage Dania’s hair, I can surely manage yours,’ she said, voice kind. She didn’t wait for a reply, heading back upstairs.
Sonya turned back to Azam, who was standing by the fireplace. He wasn’t looking at her at all; rather, he seemed quite fascinated by the dwindling embers of the fire. She saw a muscle in his jaw clench.
‘Goodnight, Azam,’ she said, voice soft. She left before she could catch his response.
Upstairs, Sonya headed for the bathroom, and when she opened the door, the small space was full of steam.
‘Come on then,’ Kiri said. She was sitting on a stool beside the bathtub. ‘Before the water gets cold.’
Sonya closed the door behind her, then took off her undergarments. Kiri immediately put them into a small pail of soapy water to soak as Sonya sank into the hot water in the tub.
Sonya let out a relieved sigh, the aching muscles of her body loosening and relaxing.
‘This is heaven,’ she said. She hadn’t realized just how much she had worked herself, and she was surprised by the capacity her body held.
Now Sonya wondered if all of her father’s precautions had only exacerbated her delicate health, making her weaker when she could have been growing stronger.
Sonya went under the water, soaking her hair. When she emerged, she tried to run a hand through the strands, but her fingers got tangled.
‘Relax, dear,’ Kiri said. ‘Let me.’
Sonya put her arms down and let Kiri work. Kiri washed her hair, lathering it with lavender-scented soap and massaging her scalp before washing it out. Sonya scrubbed her body clean, and when she had rinsed off, she stepped out of the bath, where Kiri held up a clean towel.
Sonya wrapped herself in the towel, then glanced at her undergarments. ‘My dress is downstairs,’ she said.
‘Here,’ Kiri said, taking a dress off a hook on the back of the bathroom door. It was a sleeping gown. ‘It’s one of mine. It might be big, but it’ll do.’
She lifted the dress over Sonya’s head, and Sonya lifted her arms, letting the towel drop and the nightgown fall over her. It was a worn and soft cotton, and it was very big, the neck sliding a bit over her shoulders, but it was clean and comfortable.
‘It’s perfect,’ Sonya said, hugging her arms and twirling on her tiptoes.
Kiri laughed. ‘You’re a sweet girl,’ she said. She turned Sonya to face the mirror, face beside hers, and they both smiled at their reflections.
Sonya looked more like herself now that she was clean, but she looked different, too. She looked … new. Like somebody she wanted to be.
Clean and cozy, gratitude swept over Sonya. ‘Thank you, Grandma Kiri,’ she said.
‘Of course.’ Kiri brushed Sonya’s hair, then tsked when she finished. ‘Whoever cut your hair did a horrible job.’ Sonya felt a little sheepish. ‘Do you need anything else?’
‘No, thank you so much,’ Sonya said, turning to face Kiri. ‘Truly.’
Kiri smiled. ‘Goodnight, darling.’
‘Goodnight.’
Sonya kissed Kiri’s cheek, and Kiri kissed hers in return before leaving.
Sonya stayed a bit to wash her undergarments, which she then took back to her room to set them out to dry. She covered them with a thin bit of fabric so they weren’t out in the open, then sat down on her bed, pulling her legs up.
The room was still messy and cluttered, but she could clean it tomorrow. She hadn’t taken in much last night, when she’d thought she was only there for a few hours, but now that she was staying, at least for a while, this was her room. It was small, but she would make it her own.
Sonya smiled to herself, getting under the covers.
Moonlight streamed in through the window as she pulled the blanket up to her chin.
She felt such pure joy to be alive, then.
It had only been one day but so much had happened and so many things were still to come.
There was an endless stretch of possibilities ahead of her.
As she fell asleep, her thoughts turned to the feel of Azam’s hands on her waist.